Exorcising Ex-B/F's

[Earthcup]

"Gonna wash that man right outta my hair.." :p

I've been having some soft thoughts about my ex-b/f and was thinking I needed to exorcise him right outta my heart and mind. I don't have any ideas yet and I thought I'd see what other people would come up with.

I'm not talking about harming him in any way but doing a ritual to place him firmly in my past and keep me from thinking about him.

Any suggestions? :D

[Flar's Freyja]

I ended a 4 1/2 year relationship recently. I'd been struggling with it for the last year and had actually broken up with him three times during that time. Two or three months later, I did a ritual where I burned things connected to the relationship, such as a dozen roses that he'd given me that I'd dried.

I meditated on freeing myself from it and moving on as I watched the flames burn. The ritual provided closure and helped me move on.

[Earthcup]

That's a good idea! I hate burning books though, maybe giving the ones he gave me to the library would work just as well. I think I still have some dried flowers and ticket stubs I could burn...

[Flar's Freyja]

No! Must not burn books! A donation is a great idea. I also once read something by Silver RavenWolf recommending that you get rid of anything circular since the circle will keep things going - by this she meant necklaces, rings, bracelets - I am actually trying to find the highest bidder on a ruby and diamond ring........

[Earthcup]

The ring bounced off his face went into a stormdrain I think... :D

There's a compilation cd I made him that I could toss out.. a necklace I bought while dating him but I refuse to get rid of that. I'll cleanse it instead.

I was thinking of an art project I did in elementary school and thought I might draw little stick figure on a coffee filter and then place it in a bowl of water. The ink will spread so that the figure is no longer discernable and it would be representative of me releasing all the energy focused on him so that it can be used for other things......

[Myst]

..or him drowning..

[Flar's Freyja]

:T

[Earthcup]

It's not like that'd be a bad thing.........:lol:

I'd take precautions but maybe there's something that will have the same effect on me and keep him nice and dry....:D

*thinks hard*

[Flar's Freyja]

In reading your original post again, I noticed you said "soft" thoughts, does that mean you're thinking of taking him back when it's not a good idea?

If so, you can come up with some creative ways to cast a circle or shield around your heart.

Or go out and get a new "puppy" real soon :D

[Earthcup]

Yeah he's a &$@$#$ but he's a sweetie. I may try the heart shielding but I have a bad record with dogs.....

[Flar's Freyja]

:rotfl:

Lost puppies followin' me home all the time, too.........

[Azure]

I had a BF who considered himself quite the "magician" and I got rid of everything he ever gave me. i suspected, even after a couple of years that he was trying to do ritual aimed at either getting me back or getting back at me, so I did a little spell geared toward sending his energy back to him. I heard later he got very, very sick immediately afterward, but don't know if I had anything to do with it.

if you suspect your ex is using any kind of magic, definitely send it back his way. If not, then I'd take a white candle and create a spell geared on both of you finding what's best for you at the moment, apart from each other.

[Earthcup]

No, he's not into magic or witchcraft per se, he's done a little healing work, but he's called a couple of times and well, he's still good at getting into my head. We had a really close connection for a long time and I guess we still do in a way....

Sending back any energy he's directing at me, whether he realizes it or not, to help him find the best path for him is a good idea though.

[Rick]

When you bond with someone, there are energy "cords" that grow & connect from your chakras to theirs... I've done a ritual where I took scissors & 'cut the cords'...

[Myst]

And I'm told cutting those ties can be very painful or traumatic.

[Earthcup]

It couldn't be any more traumatic than him lying to me and cheating on me. :(

Ye Gods! I don't know what to do! I can't trust him even though I love him and I can't spend the rest of my life with someone I can't trust constantly in my heart and head. This sounds weird but I know when he gets to work and when he's watching tv and when he's thinking of me and when he has a sandwich and I just want it to stop. I was stupid, I was in love but I don't want him in my life anymore...:(

[Flar's Freyja]

'K, then, another option might be to do a spell or ritual more focused on what you DO want....

[Earthcup]

I'll try that. Thanks for all the help guys. What I really need is a long vacation with no one around....:D

[Myst]

Donno about that trauma thing :D

Having done one of those 'wash him out of my hair' spells before, I have to say I wouldn't do it again :)

All I did was put all my energy into never speaking to him again while destroying a picture of us together. You might try that. The spell can be really simple - it worked *really* well. :)

[Rick]

Originally posted by Myst
And I'm told cutting those ties can be very painful or traumatic.
ya know, I'd heard that very same thing... how the 'cords' were kinda elastic, & would 'snap back', etc... but it was instant relief for me...

[Earthcup]

I'm not going to do anything without putting a lot of thought into it first. I've been considering it since Nov., a few more weeks won't kill me... :D

I just feel a need to put that part of my life behind me. Right now I feel a little stuck..

[Flar's Freyja]

It's New Moon, time for new beginnings! A simple New Moon ritual might do the trick! ;)

[Myst]

Originally posted by Rick

ya know, I'd heard that very same thing... how the 'cords' were kinda elastic, & would 'snap back', etc... but it was instant relief for me...

In a case recently where I was thinking of doing that I thought it would be pretty relieving too - the cord itself is kind of "damaged" - raw, sore, weak.. *shrugs*

[Flar's Freyja]

Originally posted by Myst


In a case recently where I was thinking of doing that I thought it would be pretty relieving too - the cord itself is kind of "damaged" - raw, sore, weak.. *shrugs*

Ouch. (((hugs)))

[Danustouch]

I have a spell to heal a broken heart ceremony that I have used in the past. But remember, if you do it, you must make sure that it is truly what you want to do.

What I did, is this. First, take a long purifying bath. While in this bath, try to meditate, and think of your relationship with this person. All of the good, and the bad, that happened in it. Release those emotions, cry if you need to...just remember it all, and release it all.

Now...set up your altar.

You will need three candles. One white, which symbolizes your ex mate. One Pink, which symbolizes yourself, and one blue, which symbolizes healing and peace.

Set the Candles up in a triangular shape...white on one side, blue in the middle at the top, and pink on the other side. You will also at this point, need a pink ribbon. Tie the ribbon around the three candles, connecting all three.

You can use whatever incense to you symbolizes peace, and relaxation.

Over the white candle, speak these words..

"I release the past, and all that was. I wish you no ill. Our lives are now devided, we walk upon seperate paths, but I wish you peace and understanding".

Next, over the pink candle, speak these words..."I draw into my life that which is healthy, and happy. Knowing that I am worthy of love, knowing that I am worthy of affection, I release the damaged emotions of the past, and welcome in the joyous future that can be mine."

Then...finally, lighting the blue candle, speak these words:

"Peace is what I ask today, Ancient ones. May peace surround the issue at hand, and peace govern our actions. With harm to none, and for the good of all...I ask that you allow us to go our seperate ways, in happiness, and tranquility.".

At this point, you can snip the ribbons, thus severing your ties to him. You can let the candles burn until they are done, and then bury the remainders.

I did this spell, and it helped me enourmously, to get over the relationship I was just ending at the time. I asked the persons' permission, just in case, to do the spell. But if this is not feasible for you, just alter the words to say "The situation at hand," or "The past".or whatever you can use, instead of mentioning his name, or the specifics of the situation.

[Schuylar]

Taking a length of yarn or string and unwinding it peice by peice. As you unravel the yarn, you are unravelling the ties that bind.

Anything you can come up with that would be symbolic to you would work. And it sounds like you are going to be very careful about how you word things.

As for him calling you, for heaven's sake screen your calls and don't answer his.

I think you're going to be fine.

[Phoenix Blue]

What gave me courage to go through my divorce was the realization that the relationship I'd had with my ex- was dead. This is a difficult thing to do--even more difficult than if your loved one actually dies--because they're still alive (despite any possible attempts at rectifying this condition :p), but for one reason or another they're not the person you fell in love with. Maybe your perception was wrong at the outset, or maybe the two of you have grown in opposite directions. But by the time you're leaving the relationship, it's time to realize that the relationship is dead. Not dying, dead.

This realization brings with it a few options. :) Since you're free from fighting to keep the old relationship alive, you can:

* Bury it and get on with your life, and never contact the other person again unless absolutely necessary.
* Build a new foundation and try again. . . which is a lot more difficult than it sounds. In this case, the relationship you develop may be a friendship or may be nothing at all.

Oh, well, just my 50¢. . . :)

[Athena-Nadine]

Originally posted by Phoenix_Blue

* Build a new foundation and try again. . . which is a lot more difficult than it sounds. In this case, the relationship you develop may be a friendship or may be nothing at all.


There's an understatement for you...

This is definitely one of the hardest things for any two people to do. My ex and I are finding that out every time we speak to each other now.

And yes, actually going through the process of severing those "cords" that connect you together can be extremely tramautic. When I tried this with my ex a couple of months ago, they snapped back so hard, not only was it was physically painful, but the connection has become even stronger now (which I never thought possible).

*...shrugs...* I don't know if it's because I'm not ready to let go, whether he's not ready to let go, or whether there's still some lesson either or both of us still has to learn from our association with each other, but for now, I've realized it's best for me to let things be as they are, even if it is still extremely painful at times.

I'm glad you're going to put a lot of thought into it before you actually attempt to sever yourself from your ex. Before you do, be sure that things really are finished between the both of you--and I don't mean getting back together with him. Just be sure there's nothing that still needs to be said or done, and no other lessons to be learned, or you may very well find that the harder you try to let go, the tighter you're forced to hold on.

[Earthcup]

Originally posted by Nallia

I'm glad you're going to put a lot of thought into it before you actually attempt to sever yourself from your ex. Before you do, be sure that things really are finished between the both of you--and I don't mean getting back together with him. Just be sure there's nothing that still needs to be said or done, and no other lessons to be learned, or you may very well find that the harder you try to let go, the tighter you're forced to hold on.

That's how I feel, like I'm running away while tied to an elastic cord. The harder I run the tighter it pulls. :(

I've decided to wait for the next new moon. When I get back from Savannah I may call him and make sure there's nothing left to said or learned or whatever. Then if I still feel this way by the next new moon I'll do something to help me move forward. A ritual or something and ignore him. Till then I've decided to keep an open mind and consider all my possibilities.

Thanks again for all your help guys!

[Mythrel]

I think I may try a few of the ideas in here for my ex G/F...thanks for a cool thread all