My ex wants me back.

[LadyTrinity]

As many of you know on here I was dealing with a lot of crap with my son's father and it went on for almost three years. He recently broke up with his ex and showed up at my door. He told me so many things that shocked me. He told me he wish he never left. He wish he didn't meet his previous girl friend, he said he knows if I took him back it will work, and that he loves me so much and never stopped loving me. He told me that throughout his last relationship that he thought about me everyday and that his previous girl friend was the one who was trying to cause a lot of hardship and every time she talked about me he thought about me even more. He has kept in contact with me almost every day for over a week now and its nice to have him be nice to me for a change. He was very mean in the past when we were together and he admitted that I was always a good mom and girl friend but he messed up.
I am with someone else but he asked me if my partner and I don't work out if I would let him come back and be a family. He is interested in marriage and children and its freaking me out. Only because I don't know what to think. It was a shock to me and a lot to take in. I'm glad to be good friends with him now but all this information has been making it hard for me to focus on my nursing and etc.. any energy to easy through this smoothly and help me be a friend to him would be appreciated. I want to put the past in the past and learn how to be nice to each other, especially for the sake of our child.

[Lunacie]

Wow, back on the emotional roller-coaster again, eh? Sorry to hear that. Frankly I think your ex needs to admit to some responsibility for himself and not blame everything on someone else.

It does sound like there might be a possibility of him being more active in his son's life now, and that things might not have to be as acrimonius between the two of you. But has he really changed? I wouldn't bet very much on that.

[Kalika]

:hugz: LT.

Definitely make sure that you let him know if that isn't a path that you want to pursue - single or not. It'll make things easier for you in the long run.

[Annorah]

Having a great relationship with your ex for the sake of your child is one thing but can you see yourself having a proper adult relationship with him?

Please just take your time to decide what it is that YOU want but make sure that you are honest with him too.

Here's hoping that you find some peace soon.

:hugz:

[Pesha]

Being on good terms with him because you have a child together is good. But you need to take care of you. Continue with your nursing and focus and making a good life for you and your son together. Keep comunication open and friendly, but do not let him put you in a position to end up going backwards. I hope that makes sense. POsitive vibes flowing to you for strength and self assuredness.

[LadyTrinity]

It makes a lot of sense Pesha. I am in a relationship and he knows I will not leave my realtionship for the sake of being with him. My current relationship is great and I have told my ex that if we tried to make it work, it just wouldnt work. it didnt before. It wont now. But he is pushin that he will do anything to make it work. I actually spent the last 6 days feeling ill, not eating much and now I got namonia. I can barely talk.

[Kalika]

:hugz: LT.

Hang in there.

[wolfjan1]

Being on good terms with him because you have a child together is good. But you need to take care of you. Continue with your nursing and focus and making a good life for you and your son together. Keep comunication open and friendly, but do not let him put you in a position to end up going backwards. I hope that makes sense. POsitive vibes flowing to you for strength and self assuredness.
ABSOLUTELY! You need your own life and your own Mental health.
You are in dangerous times at the moment. Is suggest that you have him see the young boy with supervised visits if you can. If you have to go to court, then DO it.
I know that I sound harsh, here, but this is where many men take off with the kids out of revenge and lack of total control of the situation.
SO, If you cannot work out an amicable system of visitation. Definitely involve the authorities.
If there is ANY SINGLE threat made, involve the authorities so that there is a report, or a number of reports, if needed, on record. That way, f there is an amber alert sent out, you have the threats and the reports on record. Insist on copies of the police reports.
You have said that you have had a number of problems with this person. Protect yourself and your child and DO NOT go backwards and go back with him. Sorry to scare you. Been there, done that....over it.

[Willow Rosette]

Honey if you dont take care of you, you wont be able to take care of your family. Crawl into bed and take care of yourself.

As for the X there is that old saying that an X is an X for a reason. Remember those reasons and remind yourself about the good things you have now.

[LadyTrinity]

Ya life seems crazy. He calls me up to tell me he told his gf off and how she was the one who was causing problems for him and I. I dont know what to believe anymore. He gave me a bad past.. and as for his ex, In my opinion, she was crazy!
I need a cup of tea. He is supposed to be visiting today. I hope he can talk about things he needs to say. It's been too long being enemies.

[Philosophia]

:hugz:

[Willow Rosette]

Your alot nicer than I am. Id tell him he needs to back up a couple of feet and realise how the situation is. Pin him down and tell him you are glad the two of you are getting along better but in no uncertain terms is anything more going to happen. You are happy with your life now you were unhappy with your life then and this is how it is. But that is just my aggressive Leo opinion.

~VM

[LadyTrinity]

Your alot nicer than I am. Id tell him he needs to back up a couple of feet and realise how the situation is. Pin him down and tell him you are glad the two of you are getting along better but in no uncertain terms is anything more going to happen. You are happy with your life now you were unhappy with your life then and this is how it is. But that is just my aggressive Leo opinion.

~VM


Oh he knows my life is better now than it was with him. He thinks he can give me the same good life. I duno if he can.. Do I really want to find out... Mostly no because I even told him most times men like him cannot change but he says he chose to change because he hit rock bottom and I think if I pin him down he might like that too much :lol:

[ravenmyst]

both ex's wanted me back, but i deserved more, so do you