I must be a terrible friend

[soilsigh aingeal]

I can't deal with my best friend and her issues anymore. I was just in a funk for like 2.5 months and I have felt better for the past month because I haven't talked to her as much and now she's back with the same drama with her boyfriend and I can't bring myself to talk to her because I'm afraid of feeling like that again. I can't figure out how to separate my own emotions from hers.

[Eternal Night]

It's so diificult when you are close to someone like that. They do tend to drain you emotionally and it's so hard because they are your friend and you feel bad for thinking about them like that. I wouldn't say that you're in anyway a bad friend. There comes a time when you can no longer help them. They've gotta start helping themselves and being less dependent on you. If she is a true friend you should sit down and tell her how you are feeling and she should understand. If she doesn't understand or says she does and carries on draining you then I think you should start thinking of yourself. No one else is going to. I wish you all the best.

Blessed Be X

[Kalika]

I've never really understood the penchant some women have for drama, really. Or some men, for that matter.

Anyways... :hugz: You aren't being a bad friend by distancing yourself. Not only is it healthier for you, but maybe she'll start to get the hint and tone down some of that drama.

[Lunacie]

The relationship between you and your friend sounds very unbalanced. I had a friend like that once, everything in her life was awful and she would call me every day to complain about it. There was never anything positive in her end of the conversation, and she certainly never asked what was going on in my life. All she did was drain me, never gave anything back. Finally I had to tell her that I just couldn't continue like that.

[Annorah]

You are NOT a terrible friend! Some people are just so draining and it is just natural to wish to shield yourself from it.

Remember the Rede - "An it harm none, do as thou wilt" - the 'harm none' bit also applies to yourself.

[soilsigh aingeal]

thanks. that helps. I need to talk to her...


I can't fall on my face again.

[Astara Seague]

You are NOT a terrible friend! Some people are just so draining and it is just natural to wish to shield yourself from it.

Remember the Rede - "An it harm none, do as thou wilt" - the 'harm none' bit also applies to yourself.

well said!
my best friend has a tendancy to be that way too, but since we have been friends for so long, I just tell her straight out that either she starts thinking positive or I need {another} break!

[Sage Rainsong]

I have had a few friends like that. You are not a bad friend. She is the bad friend for constantly complaining and never wanting to hear about you. Other than not talking to her, you could try shielding exercise and/or a psychic protection spell.

[SoulFire]

I wouldn't put up with friends acting like that. It's tiresome and completely self-centered. I stopped coddling people who are always complaining about this or that to get my sympathy. I take a warrior stance now. There comes a time when we each have to take some responsibility for our own actions, instead of always blaming others. Our choices, by and large, determine our happiness or lack of. If someone refuses to accept this, then they are not true Witches, IMNSHO. Find new friends. Don't be codependent. It doesn't help them one bit!