To Be or not to be...

[Chesna]

Out of the broom closet..that is the question!!

Ok..ok..I know that was pretty cheesey..but that is what I have been thinking about lately.
Only 2 people know my path: my hubby and a friend I told that I knew would be supportive and she has.
Now, I am trying to decide if I want to. Part of me says it is a personal thing and thats ok..part of me feels I should not hide it..it is who I am.
My parents know that we are not getting the baby baptised..how ok they are with it I do not know..all I told my mom was that it was not something we felt we needed to do. She looked a bit surprised. I still celebrate Christmas with them and Easter..I am ok with that as me and my hubby want to expose our kids to as many religious beliefs as possible so they can make up their own minds.
So..what I am wondering is what were/are the resons for you..MWer's..to either stay in the closet or not? I am hoping that by reading others thoughts may help me. Any advice or help is appreciated.

Chesna

[Vigdisdotter]

As far as I'm concerned there IS no broom closet to come out of. I tell those I feel should know and don't tell the rest. My life and doings will be as open or closed as I see fit and it has nothing to do with hiding what I am.

My boss doesn't need to know my affiliation with the local BDSM club, for example. My dad's side of the family (staunch Anglicans) don't need to know that I'm Pagan since I don't' live with/near them and have limited contact. My brother doesn't need to know that I undertake Shamanic Journeys.

Being quite about some aspect of yourself does NOT equate to hiding. Not everyone needs to know everything about you. Hell, I don't tell my mom about my bedroom antics and I view my spiritual path as an equally private issue.

[Lauren Michele]

As far as I'm concerned there IS no broom closet to come out of. I tell those I feel should know and don't tell the rest. My life and doings will be as open or closed as I see fit and it has nothing to do with hiding what I am.

My boss doesn't need to know my affiliation with the local BDSM club, for example. My dad's side of the family (staunch Anglicans) don't need to know that I'm Pagan since I don't' live with/near them and have limited contact. My brother doesn't need to know that I undertake Shamanic Journeys.

Being quite about some aspect of yourself does NOT equate to hiding. Not everyone needs to know everything about you. Hell, I don't tell my mom about my bedroom antics and I view my spiritual path as an equally private issue.


I agree with you Vigdisdotter. Wholeheartedly. Your husband knowing is important. Your mom...well, to me, she didn't need to know. For some reason alot of us need or feel compelled to share things with our moms. But this is your life. My husband knows and my best friend. It took a long time before I told my mother, only because I felt I am an adult and this is my life and she has her own. :)

[Chesna]

I tell those I feel should know and don't tell the rest

That is what I am struggling with. I do feel by not telling them it is hiding...for I need to amke sure that certain books and stuff are not out when they are over...I hate doing that. But then part says let itstay out and if they have a question they can ask. I also think part of my dilemma is that i was born and raised Catholic...that is a big part of my family.
When my grandma recently passed away I told my mom that when it came time for Communion (during the funeral) I would not be taking it. My mom was ok with it, but did not ask why. I know I may have to ask why I would feel telling is important but while I am going thru that..I am interested in knowing others stories for why they are in or out of the closet...

Chesna

[Vigdisdotter]

I do feel by not telling them it is hiding...

Why?

I'm not trying to be flippant here as this is something you have to be able to answer yourself before you can productively proceed.

So why do you feel it's hiding? Look at your feels, at the motives behind them, at where the ideas come from originally. Then decide if it's a reasonable and valid feeling.

for I need to amke sure that certain books and stuff are not out when they are over...I hate doing that.

What I'm seeing here is resentment. Do you really want that the basis of your talking to your parents about your spiritual path?

I also think part of my dilemma is that i was born and raised Catholic...that is a big part of my family.

I'm not Catholic not is my family so I'm not sure what the differences are but.....why is that an issue? And I don't mean doctrine here, I'm talking about how it impacts your family.

[Chesna]

Good questions..make me think........


Why?

I'm not trying to be flippant here as this is something you have to be able to answer yourself before you can productively proceed.

So why do you feel it's hiding? Look at your feels, at the motives behind them, at where the ideas come from originally. Then decide if it's a reasonable and valid feeling.[QUOTE]

Not sure I can answer this right now...all I can say is part of me feels it is hiding...maybe I need to look at this more..not sure..so I am just going with how I can describe it right now.



[QUOTE]What I'm seeing here is resentment. Do you really want that the basis of your talking to your parents about your spiritual path?[QUOTE]
No resentment....just that because they do not know my path I do not leave craft items out. At first it was because I was not and did not want to share that part of me with anyone...I felt since I was just starting on this path I did not want the hassle of trying to defend it right off the bat. Now...I am like its who I am, what I believe...why do all this??



[QUOTE]I'm not Catholic not is my family so I'm not sure what the differences are but.....why is that an issue? And I don't mean doctrine here, I'm talking about how it impacts your family.

I mentioned this because being Catholic in my family is a BIG deal...it is part of traditions and the way things are done. Not many have strayed from this path. My family also has very set ideas and thoughts on how things should be..sometimes going against that and then trying to explain is a big battle.

But again..what I am mainly looking for are others stories about why they decided to come out of the closet- how did they come to that choice- or the other side..why they are still inthe closet and why/how they came to that choice. I know I have some searching on my own to do..sometimes for me hearing others stories gives me other ideas and like you..things to consider.

Chesna

[Kalika]

I really only have myself to base this off of, but anyways...

I think it really depends on you. Are you comfortable answering questions about your path? Do you want to invite questions? Are you going to be hurt by people turning away from you (and some will) when they find out who/what you are?

I think the answers to those questions are what should probably determine whether you stay in the closet or come out. :p

Personally, I don't hide what I am - I also don't go around saying "Hey, look at me, I'm a witch!" either. If someone asks, I'm honest. If they don't ask, and the subject never comes up... then they won't know.

[ckynes1968]

I feel like I can relate a little to your dilemma.

I, too, came from a very large Catholic family (mom was a nun that left before final vows) and being "Catholic" is a integral part of their daily lives. By this I mean that it isn't just church on sunday, but the friends and connections they have to the congregation, the school where we all went (and now where my nieces and nephews attend) and so on....

I don't know how my family would react if I told them of my path. But I don't see them as often since I moved away. When I visit I kinda do a "don't ask, don't tell". LOL My mother was very angry that my youngest daughter didn't receive first communion. But this (being in the broom closet)only relates to my mother, sisters, and brother (and all of their spouses and children)

As far as my immediate family, my husband is the only one that knows (not my children for other various reasons) Sometimes he is okay with it, sometimes he isn't. He has issues that relate to the negative press that being a witch/pagan/wiccan is surrounded by. He is so afraid that someone in our small town will find out and that I will lose my job and that we will be ostracized.

So, right now I am keeping my thoughts inside. It is hard - Why should I have to hide who I am? It isn't fair that a part of me has to stay hidden...it makes me feel incomplete.

Anyway, this is supposed to be helping you with your broom closet question, and not me rambling away.

[Chesna]

So, right now I am keeping my thoughts inside. It is hard - Why should I have to hide who I am? It isn't fair that a part of me has to stay hidden...it makes me feel incomplete.

Anyway, this is supposed to be helping you with your broom closet question, and not me rambling away.

No...it was what I was wanting!!! I think it is nice to hear from someone from a heavy Catholic family..sometimes going thru it you can relate. I also have or had 3 great aunts who were nuns.....

Chesna

[ravenmyst]

as my immediate family is rather void of religious leaning it was easy enough to say to my parents, I am pagan, one aunt learned of it, and questioned me as she has some 7th day adventist tendancies, but she said although she doenst really agree, she can see it fits me, as far as work and all that I keep personal stuff personal, do have a "give me that old tyme religion" with dreamcatcher bumpersticker, though no one has asked. not in broom closet, but dont discuss it much I guess is what I am saying. my teens are following their own ideas, daughter leans to atheist, son to pagan, hubby some sort of atheist buddhist