Monkey see, monkey do?

[Sun Sprite]

Okay, here's the thing, hubby and I are prepareing to adopt a child, probably five or older. We hope to have a child in the house at least part time by the end of summer.

How do you handle the monkey see, monkey do things?

For instance:

1. Hubby never puts a new bag in the trash can when he takes out the trash. i believe the new bag should go in before the old bags goes out of the house, so no one is waiting, or has to stop what they are doing, put in a bag, wash up, and resume their work.

2. Hubby, being male, tends to miss the pot, and get the floor, walls, and sides, not to mention the "burn marks" left at the back of the toliet. He has yet to learn to clean up after himself, and even with reminders, he doesn't want to. Sorry but I don't want to sit in his excrement, and I don't want a child to either!

3. Hubby smokes in the truck but not in the house, how do we explain this to kids, and that it is not okay for them?

Needless to say, hubby was raised by two teachers who were so busy teaching other people's kids, they forgot to teach their own!

Honestly, he is a good person, just some of his bad habits have been getting on my nerves lately.

So, any suggestions on how to keep the little monkey's from doing what they see?

What monkey see, monkey do tales do you have? Anything I haven't thought of?

Better days

[Ceres]

Hehe, these will be the least of your problems! Seriously, these things are fairly minor in the world of child rearing and you would do better to make jokes about these differences in opinion than to let the child see its something you cant find a happy medium on together. Children can scent out strife in married couples like little hound dogs and will exploit it if they think they can. Laugh it off!

ETA: with the exception of the smoking, that one I would handle by talking about what a stupid mistake it was to ever start, especially if you can get your husband to talk about his stupidity. Kids can understand us making mistakes if we admit them.

[ladyalpha]

I agree with Radikal on laughing some things off. Really, other than not putting a trash bag in immediatly after taking out the trash being a pet peeve, it isn't that serious of an offense. Definitly not something to make a huge issue out of. You can raise your child with the knowledge of how you prefer it..but really in the end just consider it a victory if the child does it and regularly without constant nagging. lol

I would however make a big deal out of the bathroom issue. But, that is just because I personally find it disgusting just thinking of it. I can't imagine how you deal with it in reality. I'm a little bit of a germ freak and firmly believe at some point in life you have to take some responsiblity for yourself and messes. How to deal with it with a child..teach the child early about how to use the toilet correctly and how to clean up any messes he/she makes while in there. By 5 or older the child will probably already know but if he/she doesn't..teach.

The smoking, like Radikal said, explain how stupid it was to start. Explain all the negative things it does to the body and how expensive it is and keeps getting. My husband and I both smoke and we have told our children that if they are smart they will never even try one. If a friend offers just tell them no because it isn't worth it. And we have both explained that if we could quit we would gladly do it. I am personally waiting to get health insurance so I can get meds to quit, since I am allergic to over the counter products.

These things have all been discussed openly with my kids. Children are smart and you can only do your best with communication.
Good luck with all of this and with the adoption. Remember, pick your battles..both with your child and with your husband. ;)