ethics: romance...

[Taliesyn]

okay, in the spirit of Lisa's ethics thread, what if a married person comes to you, and the reading is about another relationship? what if they aren't married? how would you approach this?

[Kalika]

As a reader, I assume that my responsibility is to the querent. As a reader, you don't know everything about the querent (typically), and therefore I don't think I'd feel the need to stick my nose where it doesn't belong.

Unless I totally misunderstood the question... :p

[wolf]

I reads 'em as I sees 'em ...

The answer to this question may vary, however, depending on the way in which the question is phrased or the information is presented ... does the reading relate to the Querant having or considering an affair, or is there a disruption because the spouse is involved with someone else?

If that's the specific question, "Is my spouse seeing someone behind my back," I wouldn't do the reading at all, since I'm not reading for THAT person, but rather the person sitting in front of me.

[Glory]

I'm not a big believer in fate - the cards, for me, show possible ideas for the future. The most likely ones, true, but still changeable. So I don't see anything ethically wrong in this dilemma. I think it would be ethically wrong to give opinionated advice or urge someone to cheat on their spouse, but that counts for all instances, not just a Tarot reading.

[LisaT4P]

I've struggled with the ethics of relationship readings. Quite often in my spreads there is a position for how the querent feels and then how the S.O. feels. It is the 2nd question that causes me some pangs of guilt now and then.

If the person that is the S.O. in the reading is not present... are you still reading for the querent? Or are you invading the privacy of the S.O.?

I still haven't answered these questions definitively for myself, and I have been taking it on a case-by-case / reading-by-reading basis for now.

If a married person came to me and asked about a relationship with another person, I'd probably do the reading.

If a single person did that I'd do the same.

If a person asked me "Is my S.O. cheating?" then I'd have to tell them that the cards can't tell them that, and I wouldn't be lying, since I don't think tarot works that way. I'd probably work with the person to figure out a question that we were both more comfortable with and that I thought could be answered with a reading.

[Shatril]

I would read the cards as they fall. Making sure that my own Shyt doesn't flow into that reading. Believe me, the querent does not want your OPINION, just the reading from the cards. If you know the couple, then you need to stay out of it; no telling the other person, as they won't appreciate or thank you for it. Just my $.02 worth. I probably would not read for them again though.

Shatril

[Shanti]

I would read the cards as they fall. Making sure that my own Shyt doesn't flow into that reading. Believe me, the querent does not want your OPINION, just the reading from the cards. If you know the couple, then you need to stay out of it; no telling the other person, as they won't appreciate or thank you for it. Just my $.02 worth. I probably would not read for them again though.

Shatril
I agree.

Plus I wont do a reading if I cant keep my opinions and emotions neutral.
I always tell people ahead of time that they can only have one done if they can handle the truth of the reading as I don't soften or gentle anything. I give what the cards say, without my feelings involved, and what they do or think is their business.
Thats also why I don't do readings often, because I just do the reading and don't get involved before or after.
I'm an interpreter, nothing more. No ethics or personal opinion/feelings. Just an interpreter.
Thats how it is for me.

[kotu]

I would suspect the current relationship is no good for the querent and bring that up for discussion.

[LadyCelt]

I'd think if the other person approves, then it is ok. I'd say it is ok in a desperate situation where they feel they could be or someone else could be in danger.