Patience with a Hater

[lestismitethee]

So... This guy I know from two college classes sits next to me and we help each other out with homework and things. He's an alright person... except when it gets down to religion and politics. Basically, he's a very conservative Xian, which is typical down here in ol' Georgia, USA (aka the Bible Belt). He recently found out that I am Pagan and he seems okay with it, but anytime I try to talk with him about religions other than Xianity or if he tells me what he's learned about other religions, he is so closed-minded! His main problem is that he tries to see everything through a Xian lense, and you cannot do that if you are to understand and coexist with the Others.

I'm under the impression that everything that he doesn't agree with he considers "left-wing" and against the Bible; he's accused me of being a "tree-hugger" b/c I respect nature and animals and believe they are just as important as humans, whereas he believes humans were put here to dominate Nature; and he's accused me of being "left-wing" just because I am open to the believes of Others; he also believes that I "detest" the Bible just b/c I disagree with many of its passages. He cannot see outside his box!

Now, I know we've all known someone like this. I've known many; even my parents are like this, if not worse! My question here is... is it worth it for me to keep being patient with him and try to open his mind? I've been trying to do this the last few weeks... I'm not trying to force him to see anything he doesn't want to see b/c that never worked for me back when I was Xian. But when he's surrounded with people that think like this and make him believe this kind of thing, should I still continue to be his window? I feel like I am doing the right thing by trying to talk with him about this stuff, but sometimes he can be so arrogant and ignorant, and I wonder if he's just going to forget everything I've told him.

What do you all think?

-- Gally

[Lunacie]

I don't think I'd try to talk to him about either of those topics (politics or religion). If they come up, I'd just share my beliefs very briefly and then drop it. In time, he should be able to see that you're a good person with good values - even though you're a *gasp* Pagan. ;) They say actions speak louder than words, and there's probably a reason for that saying.

[Layla]

I have to agree with Lunacie (waves to Lunacie) I would avoid the trigger topics of religion and politics. We really cannot change another person's outlook except maybe by example. So maybe modeling simple acceptance will take the edge off between the two of you.

[aluokaloo]

you can't open anyone's mind who doesn't want to be opened. So, maybe just avoiding these subjects would be a better idea, thumbs up though, I wouldn't have an 1/8 of the patience.

[TheWomanMonster]

I'd just stop talking to him, unless it was required for class.
Don't argue with him, it's apparent he's set in his ways.
Just a waste of energy and breath to try and convince him otherwise.

[Cake-eating_Moth]

Only HE will be able to open his mind; as much as you want to, you don't have that power.

From what it sounds like to me, he isn't mature enough to handle religious/ideological conversations and you shouldn't continue having these kinds of conversations with this man. If he asks why you don't want to talk about a certain subject, tell him that you don't feel that the conversation could be talked about in a mature manner. Hopefully he will try to expand his horizon after realizing that people are turned off by his close-minded approach.

[Antitrust Superstar]

People need to learn to just move on sometimes. You can't force someone to be "open minded". You can't force someone to do or believe anything. They make things up themselves. A world where everyone was the accepting and the same would be utterly boring and completely un-human. Sure, bad things happen, you can't stop it all. However, there is nothing wrong with a Christian, for example, disliking a Pagan. That doesn't mean they're gonna kill you. Far from it!

[Glory]

I think if you just be yourself and don't impose on his beliefs, he must just see what a wonderful person you are, and open his mind himself. I know, that sounds dreamy and naive, but it's surprising how well it works. When you get to know someone, it's hard to see them as tainted or sinful. Lead by way of example. :)

[Willow Rosette]

I think if you enjoy talking to him then call a truce. Your not going to change his views any more than he will change yours. So it is a non subject between the two of you. If you dont value the rest of the conversations with him then just cut contact.

[Philosophia]

People need to learn to just move on sometimes. You can't force someone to be "open minded". You can't force someone to do or believe anything. They make things up themselves. A world where everyone was the accepting and the same would be utterly boring and completely un-human. Sure, bad things happen, you can't stop it all. However, there is nothing wrong with a Christian, for example, disliking a Pagan. That doesn't mean they're gonna kill you. Far from it!

_handclapp

[LadyWillow]

I'd just stop talking to him, unless it was required for class.
Don't argue with him, it's apparent he's set in his ways.
Just a waste of energy and breath to try and convince him otherwise.

I agree with Woman. Just a waste of time an energy. He's not worth wasting it on. It seems that he isn't going to change the way he sees things, he's not going to change and see things differently anytime soon. Move onto someone else.

[morningstar2651]

So... This guy I know from two college classes sits next to me and we help each other out with homework and things. He's an alright person... except when it gets down to religion and politics. Basically, he's a very conservative Xian, which is typical down here in ol' Georgia, USA (aka the Bible Belt). He recently found out that I am Pagan and he seems okay with it, but anytime I try to talk with him about religions other than Xianity or if he tells me what he's learned about other religions, he is so closed-minded! His main problem is that he tries to see everything through a Xian lense, and you cannot do that if you are to understand and coexist with the Others.

I'm under the impression that everything that he doesn't agree with he considers "left-wing" and against the Bible; he's accused me of being a "tree-hugger" b/c I respect nature and animals and believe they are just as important as humans, whereas he believes humans were put here to dominate Nature; and he's accused me of being "left-wing" just because I am open to the believes of Others; he also believes that I "detest" the Bible just b/c I disagree with many of its passages. He cannot see outside his box!

Now, I know we've all known someone like this. I've known many; even my parents are like this, if not worse! My question here is... is it worth it for me to keep being patient with him and try to open his mind? I've been trying to do this the last few weeks... I'm not trying to force him to see anything he doesn't want to see b/c that never worked for me back when I was Xian. But when he's surrounded with people that think like this and make him believe this kind of thing, should I still continue to be his window? I feel like I am doing the right thing by trying to talk with him about this stuff, but sometimes he can be so arrogant and ignorant, and I wonder if he's just going to forget everything I've told him.

What do you all think?

-- GallyWhy are you trying? You can't change him - don't waste your time or energy. If he wants to see past his own nose, he will look for himself.

[Cindlady2]

I agree for the most part about just avoiding touchy subjects. However if you feel you must comment about something said or would like to talk yourself.... perhaps if you find a way yo relate things in "his" world.

[lestismitethee]

Thanks, everyone, for your advice. Like I said, I'm not trying to force him to believe anything, but I am trying to be a way for him to get some outside perspective by just talking to him about who Pagans really are... But you're right; if I keep feeling drained talking to him and I'm getting no where, I should avoid the subject all-together. We get along fine until those things pop-up. Oh well.

Thanks again ^_^

-- Gally

[Renny]

I say, still try to be friends (or whatever you are) with him, because maybe it will show him that you're a decent person even though you're very different from him. Show him that people who have such differences can still get along. But don't bring the subject up if you can help it. However if he starts attacking what you believe in, then hell yeah you'd better defend yourself. But if you just sever all ties with this guy, then in his mind he'll think "guess i was right about all those others"

[Amelserru_halqu]

You could always go all Spanish inquisition on his ass.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

[lestismitethee]

You could always go all Spanish inquisition on his ass.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

_wedgie_ :hehehehe:

[aluokaloo]

You could always go all Spanish inquisition on his ass.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

:stomp: :lol:

[BFD_Zayl]

well, at least he is trying to be nice about it and keeping his thoughts to himself.

[ap Dafydd]

well, at least he is trying to be nice about it and keeping his thoughts to himself.

He could be a lot worse. At least he's not preaching at you, setting burning crosses on your lawn, or turning up on your doorstep brandishing a stake and a can of petrol!

Stick to stuff that's not to do with religion or politics and you'll do fine.

gwyn eich byd

Ffred