Worst period of my life

[PandoraHealer]

I've been blessed with 2 children in the last 2 years. and a wonderful husband. Whats so horrible about that? My life sucks. My daughter is sick and could die at any time with little or no warning. My dearly beloved grandmother is dying- she's not gotten out of bed in over 6 months and doesnt want to 'go' in a hospital. She's having to suck water out of a wet rag to drink. she hasn't eaten in almost a week. I'm just miserable. I lost my job when my daughter was born (since she was sick, brain tumor, heart defect, kidney disease- thats the short list) so our income got cut to jack crap. which means we're way and I mean WAY behind on our bills. We run an animal rescue that is pretty self sustaining at this point, we don't get many donations but Iguanas aren't expensive to feed. we ordered a lot of 'snake food' before my daughter was born (when we had money) so thats not an issue- thank the GODDESS!!! I think she's really looking out for me right now, my rescue is about all thats kept me going. I cry myself to sleep every night. My husband doesn't know what to do with me, for me, or to me to help. My neighbor (best friend) is worthless at this point- she's gotten into this competition phase where everything thats happening to me has happened to her 1,000 times worse so she knows exactly how it is- even though she has no kids, and her parents AND grandparents are all live and well. My only other friend is 3 hours away and rarely online and b/c of bills neither of us can be on the phone much. My other neighbor who is a wonderful, sweet person, isn't much help either. She's 17 years older than me and still a bit of a stoner and doesn't remember half of whats going on the vast majority of the evening. - so that doesn't leave me with many options of whom I can cry on.
My dogs are good- they cuddle with me and let me ball my eyes out on their fur. but 110 lbs of dog in your lap is a force to be reconed with. a bit painful at times. .... well, i can barely see the screen through my tears at this point so I'm going to go lay in bed with my cuddle bug dogs for a bit. maybe i'll feel better.

BB-PH

oh! and the bird thats been in my family for 15 years (since i was 5) died last week. I know that may not be much for a lot of people, but the animal lovers out there know what I mean.

[TheWomanMonster]

I can't offer much more than a :hugz:.

[Lauren Michele]

I am so, so sorry. You are going through enormous pain. I will pray for you.
:hugz::hugz::hugz::hugz::hugz::hugz::hugz::hugz::hugz::hugz::hugz::hugz:

[BlueEyedWolf]

:hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

[alwaysfallingup]

I know that right now I can't offer anything more than prayers, energy, and hugs...you have all three.

Goddess bless you and keep you.:hugz:

[Willow Rosette]

Oh honey, I cant even imagine what you are going through but I am here to listen. You are having a rough time right now and deffinately need someone who will listen. Im always here if you want to talk about anything from your daughter, to Grandmother to your bird. I cried when my fish died so I do believe it is a big deal to loose any member of the family. :hugz:

[_Banbha_]

((((( :hugz: )))))

[Rowan MoonDragon]

I'm so sorry. :hugz: I wish I could offer more, but I"m here if you want to talk. and I understand about your bird too. Its not a small deal. I own 5 and if any of them passed I would be devasted as well.

[Annorah]

May life soon get better for you.

:hugz:

[Metagion]

:hugs: to you :(

[Kalika]

Just....:hugz:

We're here any time you need some place to come and feel loved. :huddle:

[Brightshores]

I too know what it's like to struggle alone... :hugz: to you and blessings for peace and comfort. May things get much, much better very soon.

This place has really helped me through a difficult time... I second everyone else who says to come here for friendship and support. :)

:hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

[PandoraHealer]

I feel a bit better today, the issues are still there but its a beautiful day, my mom has my kids for the weekend, and I'm going to clean my house and then do several rituals (after I kick my hubby our fo a while). The energy in this house is just... dead. Its been a bit.. "blah" since we moved in over a year ago. Lots of bad things have happened here- drugs, prostitution, someone got shot on the porch, someone got stabbed on the porch, just... blah. I'm hoping that once I do another really good cleansing (after a physical cleaning) I'll feel even better.
BB-PH
and thank you for your support. Virtual hugs are sometimes better than face to face hugs- since I didn't get many physical hugs yesterday. (husband doesn't know what to do with my right now)

[Catiana]

:hugz:

[LadyAquamarina]

If you need to talk send me a pm anytime! :hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

[PandoraHealer]

My grandmother passed away on Thursday April 5th around 5:30 am. The funeral was held in El Reno, Ok at 11 on Saturday. Breaks my heart.... I can't stop crying- I'll be ok when I'm around my friends and wrapped up in other things but when I'm alone or just with my husband- or even when I step out of the room for a potty break, my mind wanders and I start crying again. Its much better for her- she was in a lot of pain and I mean A LOT!!! on several pain killers and couldn't get out of bed for so long. She passed in her sleep, my aunt was there and saw she was breathing very shallow, then she went on....
*sniffle*
thank you for all those who listen.
BB-PH

[The Incense Dragon]

My grandmother passed away on Thursday April 5th around 5:30 am. The funeral was held in El Reno, Ok at 11 on Saturday. Breaks my heart.... I can't stop crying- I'll be ok when I'm around my friends and wrapped up in other things but when I'm alone or just with my husband- or even when I step out of the room for a potty break, my mind wanders and I start crying again. Its much better for her- she was in a lot of pain and I mean A LOT!!! on several pain killers and couldn't get out of bed for so long. She passed in her sleep, my aunt was there and saw she was breathing very shallow, then she went on....
*sniffle*
thank you for all those who listen.
BB-PH

You hang tough my sister. We'll get together soon. Would you care if I dropped by to visit for a few minutes this weekend? I'm pretty busy getting ready to go out of town but I can spare a few minutes for an in-person hug if you think you will be home.

Namaste,

Carl

[Annorah]

So sorry to hear your sad news.

Sending comforting energies for you and your family.

:hugz:

[~Owl~]

I've been blessed with 2 children in the last 2 years. and a wonderful husband. Whats so horrible about that? My life sucks. My daughter is sick and could die at any time with little or no warning. My dearly beloved grandmother is dying- she's not gotten out of bed in over 6 months and doesnt want to 'go' in a hospital. She's having to suck water out of a wet rag to drink. she hasn't eaten in almost a week. I'm just miserable. I lost my job when my daughter was born (since she was sick, brain tumor, heart defect, kidney disease- thats the short list) so our income got cut to jack crap. which means we're way and I mean WAY behind on our bills. We run an animal rescue that is pretty self sustaining at this point, we don't get many donations but Iguanas aren't expensive to feed. we ordered a lot of 'snake food' before my daughter was born (when we had money) so thats not an issue- thank the GODDESS!!! I think she's really looking out for me right now, my rescue is about all thats kept me going. I cry myself to sleep every night. My husband doesn't know what to do with me, for me, or to me to help. My neighbor (best friend) is worthless at this point- she's gotten into this competition phase where everything thats happening to me has happened to her 1,000 times worse so she knows exactly how it is- even though she has no kids, and her parents AND grandparents are all live and well. My only other friend is 3 hours away and rarely online and b/c of bills neither of us can be on the phone much. My other neighbor who is a wonderful, sweet person, isn't much help either. She's 17 years older than me and still a bit of a stoner and doesn't remember half of whats going on the vast majority of the evening. - so that doesn't leave me with many options of whom I can cry on.
My dogs are good- they cuddle with me and let me ball my eyes out on their fur. but 110 lbs of dog in your lap is a force to be reconed with. a bit painful at times. .... well, i can barely see the screen through my tears at this point so I'm going to go lay in bed with my cuddle bug dogs for a bit. maybe i'll feel better.

BB-PH

oh! and the bird thats been in my family for 15 years (since i was 5) died last week. I know that may not be much for a lot of people, but the animal lovers out there know what I mean.

Dear Child...

There, there, ducky. It's always darkest before the dawn.

As an active member here of the Helping Hands, and also as a professional Astrologer, (over 15+ years of experience), I have often helped Keish with the Astrogy forum as well, by doing some charts.

If you would like, I can do a Chart, that might help shed some light on the matter, and what is infuluence it.

NOW~

Remember. WE are in charge of our reality. We are MAGICKAL people. We bend and shape reality to it's will. Why succumb to "Fate".

YOU are your Fate. Every action, produces a REaction.

If you are interested, you can either giveme the info needed here, or in a PM if you prefer.

I will help any way I can. :)

Hang in there, sweetie...

For your Chart, I will need the following:

Your date of birth
YOUR EXACT TIME of birth (VERY important)
Your place of birth-city, state, country, NOT county.

I have a professional astrology software installed, that can do just about everything. I compared it with my own, and some friends, over the years, to make sure I have a good system. It was a 101% match.

It is cablable ofthe most simplest of tasks, all the way to the EXTREMLY advance issues. And everything in between.

You can ask Krowe here. He's my latest client, if you would like a reference. I would give you his email, but it's best if you just PM him.

There are much more here, I have done, but I keepthat provate. To my knowledge, none were dissatisphied. (sp?)

Let me know...;)

[Evan]

*wipes tear*

[PandoraHealer]

Birthday- 07-29-86
Time- 3:24 pm
Place- Oklahoma City, Oklahoma USA

I'm doing a bit better today. I went out to my other grandmothers house and did some painting and cleaning (baseboards through out a huge house- on hands and knees wasn't too fun but it pays the bills). I got a bit of $ for that which helps relieve some other stresses. I don't have much support in my family. My mom doesn't know what to say, nor does my grandmother- so they don't. my dad is going through the same thing and isn't too emotional about ANYTHING!! so there isn't a lot of comfort there- except to know I'm not alone.... My husband hasn't said a word about it- He prefers the route of "if i don't say anything- its like it never happened and she won't come crying to me blah blah blah" he's not so good with crying women....
I'm glad I finally found a good website with real live decent humans. The other sites I've found are, for the most part just full of pissing contests and its such a drag- I really like this site and so far haven't had any problems. thank you !!!
BB-PH

[Shaw]

I PMed you. please read with an open mind.

[PandoraHealer]

well, on top of al lthe other things going on right now. Found out my uncle passed away a few days ago. Someone in the apts. he lives in called to do a "well person check" . They found him dead at his computer. We're planning a funeral tomarrow for monday. We've had to call his ex-wife in texas and tell her- so she can tell his children (20yrs, 12yrs, and 9yrs). The ex-wife won't be telling the kids until after the weekend. She told us that she doesn't know how to get ahold of the 20 yr old- so I (read that again= I) had to send an E-MAIL to him. (isn't that the proper way to find out?!?!?!?) Hopefully he checks it before monday and can come to the funeral...... he's still living in tx but not with his mom (and new husband).... I spent most of my day today cleaning out his apt. taking all his things- tv, vcrs, ps2, laptop, computer, guns, imp. paperwork, clothes, etc... out- it was rough. I went b/c my mom and g-ma didn't need to be there. They came later in the evening for trip 2. He didnt live in a good neighborhood so we had to get any valuables out TONIGHT b/c everyone that lives there was outside watching and knows EXACTLY what happened- they're waiting to break in. Its horrible.
And of course- through all of this I've been helping my neighbors move, paint, clean, etc. into thier new house- that was a WRECK. and when I need help- I'm 199% srewed. So I suppose I've learned my lesson. I got screwed when my daughter was born- they left my dogs in the house for 10 days- no food or water and no place to go potty besides the floor. all they had to do was walk around the fence (they lived next door). When my grandmother died- they didn't care- they pitched a fit and asked when I would be available to help them paint THIER house and move THIER stuff. Now, today when we need help moving- they decide they want to do other stuff. they did watch my son for an hour so my husband could move heavy stuff- they called after an hour and said they wanted to go to bed (at 7:30).... and now they've left a mess of crap all in thier yard after they moved out today. trash, a big piece of roll out floor, a few chairs, an old mop, cigarette butts EVERYWHERE pop cans and a bunch of bs thats either going to blow into my yard and I will have to pick it up or it will start rotting and attract flies and other nasty bugs and things and I will have to pick it up anyway- I'm going to call the city tomarrow most likely... hehehe- am I bad or what? (thats really sad that calling the city on someones mess of crap in thier yard is what I consider bad.... )
anyway- part of that was an update for those of you following this- and I appriciate all those who are following and commenting- it helps me to know that I've got friends around- whether they're in hugging distance or not....
Thank you!
BB-PH

[Kudzu]

*hugs* Being close to so many in the dying process sounds so hard. I hope you can find some positives in all of this!

[Sakurako]

:hugz: I'll be sending some energy to you tonight. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with so much all at one time.