Merrick
April 4th, 2007, 11:05 AM
Lady and Lord of all,
It is late at night and i cant sleep. i dont want to call and disturb a friend at this hour but i feel the need to get this off my chest, so that i can sleep in peace.
I have been lying awake for hourse thinking about death, a subject that everyone thinks about from time to time.
What will happen, what it will be like, will comfort me or is there nothing at all but a simple stop, a bleak and empty nothingness. i keep imagining myself in a personal hell; buried alive in my own coffin for eternity. i visualise Darkness, lack of air, stiffling heat, panic, grief of abandonment, frustration that no one can hear me, my body going numb, my mind going insane. the fear of not knowing is keeping me wide awake. what happens to religion after death? does it all merge into one great spiritualism, or are my nightmares true and our souls are simply to be judged by a Christian God? i know mine will be sent to hell, if it exists, which i personally believe it doesn't. i dont believe in mortal sin. i fear this judgment more than anything. Will life just continue on and on in one painful cycle of reincarnation?
What do the ancient stories say about Pagan death? i know nothing about it except we'll reach the Crossroads and gain understanding. do we even WANT to understand the mysterious of life? Or are we happy in our innocence. does my life here on earth serve any great purpose at all other than to worship your glory?
Thankyou for allowing me a chance to share some of my concerns with you. i dont expect to suddenly learn anything about the mysteries of the afterlife, although i do seek comfort from you - something i havent found lately in this particularly stressful period of my life.
Yours in life and death,
Merrick
It is late at night and i cant sleep. i dont want to call and disturb a friend at this hour but i feel the need to get this off my chest, so that i can sleep in peace.
I have been lying awake for hourse thinking about death, a subject that everyone thinks about from time to time.
What will happen, what it will be like, will comfort me or is there nothing at all but a simple stop, a bleak and empty nothingness. i keep imagining myself in a personal hell; buried alive in my own coffin for eternity. i visualise Darkness, lack of air, stiffling heat, panic, grief of abandonment, frustration that no one can hear me, my body going numb, my mind going insane. the fear of not knowing is keeping me wide awake. what happens to religion after death? does it all merge into one great spiritualism, or are my nightmares true and our souls are simply to be judged by a Christian God? i know mine will be sent to hell, if it exists, which i personally believe it doesn't. i dont believe in mortal sin. i fear this judgment more than anything. Will life just continue on and on in one painful cycle of reincarnation?
What do the ancient stories say about Pagan death? i know nothing about it except we'll reach the Crossroads and gain understanding. do we even WANT to understand the mysterious of life? Or are we happy in our innocence. does my life here on earth serve any great purpose at all other than to worship your glory?
Thankyou for allowing me a chance to share some of my concerns with you. i dont expect to suddenly learn anything about the mysteries of the afterlife, although i do seek comfort from you - something i havent found lately in this particularly stressful period of my life.
Yours in life and death,
Merrick