Beginnings

[Philosophia]

I asked you a long time ago to show yourself and, in my skepticism, I believed you didn't.

But I think you did. You've always been there, holding me tightly and teaching me when to speak, listen and know. You lead me down my path that is littered with holes, stones and other debris that block my path and make me think again. You know I over analyze everything, watching every minuscule and wonder what really lies underneath. I've always believe that there is a reason to everything and have seriously doubted your presence in my life. Maybe I really am an atheist but I don't think so. A Pantheist? Or a Panentheist?

I'm confused, lost, and maybe a little weirded out by all thats occurring in my mind. When I go outside, I feel the wind on my cheek and I think its you, touching me in love. Or when I lower my head in shame, you touch my hair in peace.

I don't want to lose anymore, to fall again. I don't want to enter that place where I'm lost. If I do, I'm afraid I may not return. And that scares me.

[RavensEye]

( sorry if I am intruding) when you are lost or get lost you have to learn to believe in and trust yourself. Once you do that you can find your way.

:hugz: here for you when you need me my friend.

[Philosophia]

On a day of sorrow where I should be mourning the soldiers lives....

I faltered again. Under the pressure of a building argument, I left the house and thought about the darkness. I thought about how the river would feel, enveloping my body, and flooding my lungs. I was so close on the rivers edge until I saw a group of ducks.

Can you believe it? A group of bloody ducks! It stopped me. I was like watching life and its cycles. How they kept paddling around like a small family and how, even though they drift apart, they ultimately come back together?

I think about it now and realize what an idiot I was. The argument was over some crap and I felt bad enough to think of it, close enough to even acting on it.

Thank you. Some how, you saved me.

[plumedsnake]

This is the first time that I've really check this part of Mysticwicks and reading this thread I've got to say that I'm touched. I know that I don't know you from adam but I get the sense of a very deep searching spirit, if somewhat melancholic but that comes with the territory. There isn't really anything much that I could say, just that I am touched. . . . And also that I think that you're a talented poet. . . . And I think that it would be a shame if you topped yourself.