anything magickal i touch becomes worse

[harrypottertew]

anything, i mean anything i touch with my mental abilities in magick, i just seem to get into more trouble than what it is done to. i try not to get into trouble but i cannot help it. this must be the reason why i forgot my magick abilities when i was younger. i feel so scared and depressed, i do not know what to do anymore. i need some guidence in magick, i feel so alone. my family is abondening me for what i have become "a witch-wizard". i have possibily two friends here, but i am not sure what to do. i have had no friends in my lifetime, everyone has shunned me away from themselves. i must have something wrong with me. it must be me, i must be a... freak. i had a loved one, but she shunned me away for someone better than me, "bigger muscles" guy she went to 3-4 years ago. i feel like i am going through a midlife crises at the age of 18 year old. i believe that i have released something evil or something from a binding spell or something and i do not have much left of my magick. please help.

[Aina]

Honey, you have magick in you. Trust me...you can't just not have magick :)
You are probably wearing yourself down by doing all of this stuff. Have you been eating right?
Also, it's really good to ground and centre yourself before doing any magickal work. If not all your energy is gonna go haywire and you're gonna feel like crap and trust me, you don't want that :)
Hmm, I've never heard of a "witch-wizard" what is it exactly?

Just take a break from meditating and magick work, okay? I think you are wearing yourself out...

PM me if you just want to talk


Oh yes and I forgot! :hug :hug :hug

-Brightest Blessings-

Aina

[harrypottertew]

"witch-wizard" it is a defination i could not give, i couldn't really decide and i just thought that i could just put it in there. i am not sure completely if i am a witch or a wizard. witches are girls while at the same time it could be a male, while a wizard is a powerful magick person that has abilities of his own. i have been eating right, i have alot of stress from yesterday lightdagon told me i met a bad enity. you see, if i take a break from meditation, then i will be become a sloth. i will not be able to go were i used to go. also, at times i do ground my self and i still have my energy go "haywire" so sometimes it is better when i do not ground my self. but i will attempt to focus my energy in grounding and centering my self in magick uses.

[Annorah]

Just a :hugz:

Hope that you soon feel better and more in control.

May the magick soon come flooding back into your life.

Blessings to you.

[harrypottertew]

today i went to off campus school for a machining class and there was a awards cermony for people who have done over thier share of work in the CATC. "calhoun area technology center" i have helped, rebuild, re make, and fix machines for the instructors. i am 1 out of 3 seniors that could of been chosen. the other two are, as some would say "stupid." usually they slack off and do nonthing but talk, while me on the other hand gets to do everything they do not do and my own projects to work on. i see it as unfair, i helped the tech center even though i did not have to. i feel like no one sees me. like i am a ghost or something. i had to stop myself from crying in that room, but i did cry inside though. all my hard work, realized as nonthing but a neusance. the kids that slacked off got the awards, i do not understand what i have done wrong. i get good grades, excellent attendance records, i have never gotten a refferral or a detention or sent down to the office for behavior reasons. i work my butt off for... nonthing for the whole year. :wah2: i have worked my hands down to the bone and i am having to use my wrists to work at the machine shop. i cried for for what seemed for a eternity inside of me, i am still crying right now. i do not show emotion, i just bottle it up for the fear of getting attention. i would like some kind of recognition though for something i did for a whole year. please help me, i keep on going deeper into a dark casem of distress and sadness. it would be nice if someone cared at what i do.

[Lunar_Dragonfly]

Oh, that must be really painful to feel like your work's not appreciated *hugs*. I'm no expert on magickal workings, but I'm sure as with everything, practice makes perfect. Just keep at it! Also if you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a PM, or I'm on gmail-chat as martianlunatic :)

[harrypottertew]

i am so upset right now that i cannot remember my own name. i just feel like i want to go into a corner and wait for next year to come by so i can start a new. but i know better to hide in my self doubts. i am like a empty egg shell, i just feel empty inside, i cannot help it. every one abondons you in your life. your mother, father, sister, grandparents, aunts, cousin, and uncles despise me at any rate possible. i cannot hold in my feelings anymore. i am having a mental break down, i just started to believe in magick and now i am a loner in my own craft. i am human, just as everyone else. why do people shune me off? the worst thing about the end of my school day was that a couple of kids walked passed me in the hall and called me a f.. a... a freak of nature at the same time:wah:. :heartbrea my heart is being broken piece by piece, "sob" i have no one to look up to, "face to face" not through a computer message. i thought i found sanctuary, but this can only go so far as to have someone love you. i tried to relax but the mental pictures just keep on coming up in my mind. "you freak, get out of my sight", "hey weirdow, go jump off a cliff and spare us." there are more insults from yesterday, but just typing them is breaking my spirit even more. i do not want to go back to were i was when i was younger, a place of helplessness, being scared. i broke down my barriers ever since i started posting here to gain my magick abilities. now i am afraid of going back to that place again.

[wolfjan1]

OK, here's the deal. Taking a break from your magick does NOT mean becoming a sloth. Perhaps taking a little study sabbatical, a bit of studying and refocusing on the basic elements will help you to better understand what is going on within yourself will be a BIG help. It sounds like you may have been bound or somebody is sending you some VERY bad vibes.
Clean your space, cleanse, bless and protect your tools, re-focus on your food, get outside and re-ground and re-center every single day. Eat a healthy diet.
This is DEFINITELY not sloth action, it's hard work. Cleanse and bless yourself everyday. Once your space is clean, protect it. THOROUGHLY.
Free yourself of the strings of negative emotions that are tying you up like a big spider trap.
THEN get back to the basics. Study EVERY day.
I PROMISE you, things will get better.:achillpil :fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms

[Lunacie]

OK, here's the deal. Taking a break from your magick does NOT mean becoming a sloth. Perhaps taking a little study sabbatical, a bit of studying and refocusing on the basic elements will help you to better understand what is going on within yourself will be a BIG help. It sounds like you may have been bound or somebody is sending you some VERY bad vibes.
Clean your space, cleanse, bless and protect your tools, re-focus on your food, get outside and re-ground and re-center every single day. Eat a healthy diet.
This is DEFINITELY not sloth action, it's hard work. Cleanse and bless yourself everyday. Once your space is clean, protect it. THOROUGHLY.
Free yourself of the strings of negative emotions that are tying you up like a big spider trap.
THEN get back to the basics. Study EVERY day.
I PROMISE you, things will get better.:achillpil :fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms

This is actually very good advice. Cleanse and bless yourself every morning and every evening. Cleanse and bless your living space tonight and again in a few days. Cleanse and bless your vehicle if you own one. Visualize yourself surrounded by a sphere of divine white light that will protect and bless you - that's basic magic and that's what I think you need to focus on for now.

[wolfjan1]

This is actually very good advice. Cleanse and bless yourself every morning and every evening. Cleanse and bless your living space tonight and again in a few days. Cleanse and bless your vehicle if you own one. Visualize yourself surrounded by a sphere of divine white light that will protect and bless you - that's basic magic and that's what I think you need to focus on for now.
Oh, THANK you for the reminder. It is time to detail the car, and cleanse and bless the stones and protectors(you can never have enough protection in your car.)I have been so busy with myself, my Mom and the house, I just let it slip my mind. Must jot it down on my calendar as a repeat monthly thing. Thanks again

[Lunacie]

I try to do that every time I go to the car wash. Sometimes a couple of times a month. Sometimes every other month. I'm not good with schedules. ;)

[Annorah]

Just a thought ...

There's a spiritual cleansing class due to start soon in CoT if you are interested and have the time.

Please don't think that you are a freak - just because you are different, it doesn't mean that you are wrong!

:hugz: and blessings to you

[harrypottertew]

the basics, what are those? i am still waiting for "wicca for beginners to begin." i literally do not know much of magick, not do i know how to use it. sure i have attempted to cast some, but i do believe they have failed. i know i can cast a protective bubble around me.

[harrypottertew]

i am feeling better today. i had to go and cry in the corner of my room. felt good to cry, physically. i haven't cried in..... ummmm..... eight years. had to think about it for a while.

[MankyCat]

You need to be a bit easier on yourself. You sound like me in some senses... or how I used to be, should I say. Here's a few thoughts.

1. Don't worry about being considered a freak. Being a freak isn't always a bad thing. Honestly, most of the people I surround myself are freaks in their own ways... and they see me as one too. Not in a bad way, mind you. It's just part of what makes us unique and interesting. I learned a long time back... it's when you stop worrying about what other people think about you that you start being accepting or finding your niche. I could give examples... but I don't think it's necessary right now.

2. You are still in an uneasy time in you life... agewise. The cusp of possibilities. Relax. Things change over time. Could be over a few days, a month, a few years... but nothing stays stagnant.

3. Taking a break isn't necessarily quitting. It's like sleeping. Your body needs sleep for it to repair and recoup. No different than a break from spells and such. It gives you time to re-energize and recoup.

4. Sometimes negative things are attracted to us, not because someone sent them to us or because of a spell we did. Sometimes it's because of the energy we put out (even in just the way we think or allow ourselves to feel). Sometimes it's to help us learn. I've run into entities that seemed negative at first and turned out to be great teachers, and vice versa. I've run into some that I've had to get rid of... but from doing so, I grew stronger in my own abilities and wiser in how to handle certain situations. Pessimism begets pessimism. You don't have to be all sunshine, but try not to see just the bad in things.

I'm sorry about the award thing. Unfortunately, there might have been a certain level of politics involved. Also, unfortunately, it's a fact of life that this sort of thing happens. If it's something you can change, then do something about it. Maybe you could talk to someone about it and explain how you feel (without accusations). There are a number of options, I'm sure. You might at least get an explanation as to why it happened. If you can't change it or don't want to, then best to let it be "water off a duck's back".

Hope that helps some.

[Lunacie]

the basics, what are those? i am still waiting for "wicca for beginners to begin." i literally do not know much of magick, not do i know how to use it. sure i have attempted to cast some, but i do believe they have failed. i know i can cast a protective bubble around me.

The basics of metaphysics or magic as I was taught them include:
- learning to channel your own energy,
- learning to channel energy from the earth, or the universe, or other people (only with permission),
- learning to use that energy to create a shield (and take it down and put it back up, and practice that a lot),
- learning to do visualization (imagine a rose so real you can smell it and feel it for instance),
- learning to do meditation (look online or do a search here on MW for suggestions on this).

I expect I'm forgetting something but the kids are home from school and my concentration is shot. Maybe someone else can offer some suggestions for practice before you jump into doing spells that can backfire on ya and get ya into trouble.

[LadyCelt]

Have you tried doing some grounding or centering? Maybe that'll help.

[wolfjan1]

Excellent! Sorry I could'nt get back to you, Harrypottertew. Craziness around here!
To even start on a mgickal path, you really have to follow the steps of getting to know yourelf. That takes a great deal of work. Perhaps you started a bit early and forgot a few steps. You really need them, though, to be successful. You may have overwhelmed yourself from the start.
But don't worry, dear one, you can get on the right track and find the path that was meant for you.
There is magick in the simples of things, and what you appear to be looking for will start with a few important steps. As your load begins to lighten and you re-discover the world around you, you will mbe SO surprised at the weight that will come off your shoulders. Once cleared, once cleansed, (that never stops, by the way) once grounded and centered, your talents will begin to shine and your talents will come clearer to you. Then you can start simple by surrounding yourself with beneficial colors, eating a cleansing diet and studying, reading and talking with the community.
Keep on going, keep on asking. When you lear to love yourself, you will do well.

[harrypottertew]

these messages really do help me, i am happy to hear someone actually cares for others feelings. i thought the world has gone and made it's self cruel and unusaul. to answer a question about grounding and centering, yes i have tried it. some times it works for me and my energy is in a perfect line when i am centered, but other times when grounded and centered my focused energy just dissapates like lightning. i know i can focus becuase i can do meditation, i even have my own as some would say "habitat" in meditation. i have gone and asked my instructor about the awards assembly, he said and i quote "you are not good enough for the awards assembly." unquote... the words "not good enough" keeps on echoeing through my mind. i worked for him on my day off, i fix his machienes, i built material from scratch for others and him, and i am still not good enough?... i had to excuse my self from the class room, for the fear i would literally beat him to a pulp. all my hard work... for nonthing. i am like a flake in the wind, noticed but useless. i had some time to think over it during the weekened. i cannot get a answer for what i am looking for. have i made a mistake? have i not given perfect pieces of material to him? or am i just a tool to everyone? a tool once broken just gets tossed into the trash and a new tool appeares out of the pocket. i will try not to think of it, life moves on wether or not i am ready, i guess....

[wolfjan1]

It really sounds like you are in a deep clinical depression right now, and REALLY need to address that. It's only a bad thing if you don't seek help. Truly, getting help is the first step. Trust me, I know. I felt like I was falling slowly in to some quick sand and the more I struggled, the deeper I went. Please, get yourself some help. Whether it be at your local health clinic, Or wherever, you really need this. IT takes a little while, but you have to cooperate and take the meds they give you. If they don't work, ask to have them adjusted. If you cant afford all this, go to your nearest mental health clinic and get 'er done! There is only so much we can do for you here, then you have to start taking care of you. Dear friend, this is not a put down. I have been where you are. I know how much it hurts.
Bless you, and standing right next to you
WJ

[Lunacie]

That is good advice about checking into the depression, I've been there too. It's a dark, lonely, unhappy place to live.

As far as grounding/centering working some times but not others, I think that's normal. Just like we may be hungry at times but not at other times. Or interested in learning something new last week but this week feeling like vegging out. Just go with the flow and get used to listening to your own body and spirit.

[MankyCat]

or am i just a tool to everyone? a tool once broken just gets tossed into the trash and a new tool appeares out of the pocket. i will try not to think of it, life moves on wether or not i am ready, i guess....


If you are a screw driver and he's trying to make you fill the role of a hammer, then it's not the tool that's the issue, but the person attempting to use it.

Sometimes there are people who are just jerks. There are people who are intentionally hurtful. There are going to be people who just plain don't like you for some really stupid reasons. Their opinions are not a reflection of your worth.

Not all tools get tossed out just because it's broken. Some get repaired. Some find a new purpose.



I also dealt with serious depression for most of my life. Definitely find someone to talk to (your school probably offers free counselling if you are still attending... if not, there are free services out there). It might or might not be depression you are dealing with. Could be a number of things with a number of different ways to handle it. I worked myself out of the depression, but that's not an easy way to go and might not be best for you. But the only way to work past a problem is to learn what is causing it (and not just the surface stuff).

[harrypottertew]

i have taken a Psychology course for a whole year. for those who are not familiar with psychology, psychology is::" is an academic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academic)/ applied (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Applied_science) discipline involving the scientific study (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Science) of mental processes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_function) and behavior (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavior). Psychologists study such phenomena as perception (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perception), cognition (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognition), emotion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotion), personality (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_psychology), behavior (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavior), and interpersonal relationships (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_relationships). Psychology also refers to the application of such knowledge (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knowledge) to various spheres of human activity (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_behavior), including problems of individuals' daily lives (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everyday_life) and the treatment of mental health (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_health) problems.
Psychology differs from the other social sciences (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_sciences) (e.g., anthropology (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthropology), economics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economics), political science (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_science), and sociology (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sociology)) due to its focus on experimentation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experimentation) at the scale of the individual, as opposed to groups (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Group_%28sociology%29) or institutions (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institutions). Historically, psychology differed from biology (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biology) and neuroscience (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroscience) in that it was primarily concerned with mind rather than brain, a philosophy of mind (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy_of_mind) known as dualism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dualism_%28philosophy_of_mind%29). Modern psychological science incorporates physiological (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychophysiology) and neurological (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuropsychology) processes into its conceptions of perception (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perception), cognition (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognition), behavior, and mental disorders (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_disorders)." i was taught how to deal with depression, "self anylisis" and learn how to take care of it. it does seem to work pretty good, but there are still a couple of strings hanging loose though. i have done some research about those clinics, they only offer massive psychology treatment "for people that are really in need for treatment." the psychology course is very intresting for example: if you put a number or a couple of words down on paper and place the paper about a foot away from you on a table for the other person to read, the reader will concisously grab the paper and lean forward. this will allow for the person "be active" on the paper and will be in a more active converstation with you, and less defensive in the conversation. this is also known as a hook bait. car dealers do the same thing. just pay attention if you are making a mortgage and ready to sign the paper. they will keep the paper closer to themselves so you will be more active in the signing and not really reading what they have on the paper. this also means that you are the most vulnerable, more gullable.

i have felt better over the weekened since the last time i visited here. i have been doing a selfanylisis on my self. i have a talent to use both sides of my brain and see both sides. i have actually taken alot of the "disturbing" questions out of my mind. also, for the help of the clinics, i have had a bad experience with a eye doctor once. not really want to go into discussion, but a long story short, we talked about outdoors, and i debated on hunting defenceless animals. she started screaming and holloring about the "forgive me" stupid animals. since then i havent been really social.

[wolfjan1]

:fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms :hugz: :hugz: :hugz: An eye Dr. is NOT a trained clinical psychologist Nor a Psychiatrist. You REALLY need help with this clinical depression and the anxiety that goes with it. Please, just do this for yourself. You have some issues that we cannot help you with, because we are not right there with you. Right now you are in a bad place for your psyche. I suggest you go to an ER and just tell them that you feel like you want to hurt yourself of someone else. They may admit you, evaluate you and try to get you stabilized. The would also refer you to outpatient help, and may even help you try to relocate. I don't know if you are in the US, or another country, but you really need this help. Please seek it out.
We are here to cheer you no and help you make a good decision for yourself.
Blessings,
wj

[taai]

your work is not for nothing. to give service is food for your soul-- it is the meat of life. if your aim is self-gratification, take gratification from work well-done to the best of your ability; do not look for external validation. if you look inside yourself for pleasure during service-- service for the sake of service-- you will never be disappointed.

as for highschool... ah, highschool will make many people clinically depressed. right now, you cannot see past what's around you at the moment. i must say, life gets a whole lot better the further away from adolescence you get. try to stay positive and manifest a more positive future. if you envision, it will come. i would not have believed that as an 18 year old outcast-- but my experience has taught me that those people who found themselves ridiculed in highschool tend to make the most interesting adults.

[MankyCat]

I took several courses in psychology. I'm not an expert. I know a decent amount, but I also know that there's a lot more to it. That's why I saw a psychologist a couple times... He confirmed my suspicions and actually helped me figure out how long I'd been depressed (since sometimes, what we feel is normal really isn't). Then I found my own way to handle things. The way I went is not one that most people feel is appealing, but it was the best way for me. No meds. But mostly alone. The Psychologist was provided by my school, and there was no way they would provide "a massive psychology treatment 'for people that are really in need for treatment'". The free services I'm talking about are NOT clinics, but actual groups that offer therapy to people free of charge. Clinics have a very different goal than these groups.

A psychiatrist can perscribe medicine to assist with chemical imbalances. A psychologist can help you too (but can't perscribe anything). Handling it yourself can work (as it did for me), but it can take a lot longer and can be a lot harder. I know it was the best course for me. Then again, I didn't use any special tricks or methods. I did a whole mental overhaul. But I also know what caused the plummet into the depression... and know meds won't help.

The whole 'eye doctor' thing... I think you need to really keep in mind that an eye doctor is a far cry from a psychologist/psychiatrist/councellor. I had horrible experiences with a psychologist and a councellor and various other 'let's help them' groups. But I do not disregard all people of the field due to those few people. I've also met some really great people in these fields. I definitely wouldn't discount a gynocologist because of the reaction of my dentist. My dentist doesn't need to know about the stuff I talk to the gynocologist about, just my eye doctor doesn't need to know about the stuff I'd tell a psychologist/psychiatrist (if I had one at this time).

[harrypottertew]

hmmmm.... been pondering what you all said yesterday. it has come to my attention that i may need a thearapist. i defentily a drug free person and i only take drugs only on occasion when i have massive pain, and surgurey. i looked at clinics in michigan, USA and i have found only four. i decided to go to one yesterday. they want to know my past, my present, what i have been doing lately that has been causing my anxiety-stress, and they want to know if i joined anything lately. anyone that tries to know me knows that i cannnot lie, not even if my life depeneded on it. i would have to tell them that i am a pagan-wiccan believer and i joined MW. i believe that telling someone about my practices might get me killed. i live in battle creek, michigan and it is like living in Detroit michigan. more gangs, racess people, molesters, and the list keeps going on. in your opinion, do you think i should bend the truth, like if i was to say i believe in pagan-wiccan beliefs, should i say that i follow my own path of belifes? i am not really lying, nor am i giving false information, so technically i am still telling the truth right? anyway, i have joined a therapy group, they said it lasts up to one week. from what i hear, they are pretty good. so yeah, i am going to go there, see if it helps me. thanks to those that are helping me, i really do appreciate it. i will let you all know how far the therapy is going. again, thank you. i would of never of analyzed myself to the point of therapy.

[Lunacie]

I am amazed that you could get an appointment so quickly.

Legally I don't think they can demand that you reveal your personal beliefs about religion, or other personal things like your sexual practices. Especially when you will be attending a group and don't know how others would accept you.

[harrypottertew]

i just caught the hook on the last day to join the therapy group. they did not ask me about my personal information, but i have to tell them what i have joined or anything that has been giving me strees lately. yesterday i was shocked when i was able to concentrate on my magick. lately i haven't been able to but yesterday.... it just hit me. i made a energy ball between my hands and i was amazed at how big it got. about the size of a medicine ball, "the large ones". i think i will reopen my thread for my questions about tarot reading... see if i can get a accurate reading with the concentration i got today. so yeah, the therapy group is going to start today at 4 in the afternoon and it is asposed to end next week. kind of small for the timeline, then again i did read the pamphlet they gave me, and the people that had a problem got cured less than three days. i am sort freaked out about the threapy group, they may ask questions and i may screw up and tell them what kind of religion i am or something. i guess a trail not taken gives out the most rewards.

[Lunacie]

I don't think you have to tell the group anything but your first name, so even if you slip up and mention something about your religion they shouldn't be able to use it against you afterwards. And if they do, you could complain to the mental health center.

I've been part of a therapy support group before and everyone has to swear that what they hear stays in the group, that they won't share any personal information with anyone outside the group. If they do, you can take them to court.

But, wow, that sounds intense, every day for a week. I like to have a little time to process what I've heard between meetings. Good luck with figuring out what's bothering you and getting your life back on track.

[MankyCat]

Very glad you seem to be able to concentrate better right now and that you were able to find a clinic and a group that seem okay.

You don't have to tell them anything that you aren't comfortable with. Period. Omitting certain info is not lying. As my boyfriend's father said (this is coming from a Preacher!), "Omitting information is not a lie unless they have a right to know." You don't have to tell them you are pagan/wiccan. But you can tell them that you are questioning your beliefs or having issues with your faith. You can even say you joined a forum that you feel will help you and give you support. You aren't lying. But you are giving them some idea of what's going on. If you are afraid for your safety, then don't go into further detail.

Good luck, and definitely keep us informed. :cheers:

[harrypottertew]

okay, i just went to the therapy group yesterday. intresting class of only 4. i thought there were going to be a lot more people there. any way, the therapist there is a girl that looks like she could snap you in half in a second. the session lasted for 4 hours straight, no breaks whats so ever. she finally got to me and asked me a series of questions. weird questions, like "do i believe in ET'S? or have you ever done dangerous stunt devil works like juming off a cliff?" just weird questions, and it defently gets weirder than that. she actually diagnosed me. she said and i quote "your problem is that you care too much about others think of you, you do things for others out of your heart but in return you only get no work recognition or something you did. you also have a condition i like to call, bottle up syndrom. you tend to compress your emotions and your feelings so others will not see them for the fear from something you had or you have made to come to believe and one more thing, you tend to over think on what you do or need to do. this also means that you are a good problem solver of others but not yourself." unquote. i literally looked at her with my mouth open in shock she was right. how the heck did she know me in the last 3 hours in one session. i was thinking that was inhumanly possible. usually it takes a person "i think" about a day or so to know me. not just three hours. then i caught my self in dis beliefe, that she could be wrong. the funny thing about her is that she knew what i was thinking when i was given the discharge. she said "there you go again, over thinking what others say." then she continued to the guy next to me. as the session was over, i was still thinking what she said. my god... she is right... how could i of missed this in my year of psychology classes i have taken.

anyway that is what happened in the therapy class, still thinking about it. crap there i go again, over thinking it, ahhhhh.... "starts pacing the room trying to stop anylizing the therapist":abbed:

[Lunacie]

Wow, she could have been describing me for the first 35 years of my life. What turned it around for me was finding a business size card that said "Don't sweat the small stuff". Then I turned it over and on the other side it said "It's all small stuff."

Well, of course it isn't all small stuff, but that showed me that I was making some things much bigger than they needed to be. I learned to start figuring out which things were worth getting upset about and which things weren't.

In general, if it was something where I could do anything to make things better, it was something I could fix. If there wasn't really much I could do to change the situation then I needed to just stop focusing on it and work on something else - or find something I could enjoy.

I hope this therapy helps you to sort things out in your head and feel better about your life, and about yourself. :thumbsup:

And... I'll bet by the end of the week you'll be able to tell what you really want to accomplish by magical means and have the magic work for you much better and more often. Just remember that some things take longer for the full effects of the magic to be obvious.


edited for typo

[harrypottertew]

she figured me out in less than three hours and i am still amazed at how she did it. she is going to try hypnosis on us today and i am going to try and seal off any informatin about my magick. any suggestions?

[Lunacie]

Would it be possible to have a quiet word with her before the session starts, and say that you don't want to talk about politics, religion or magic during your turn at hypnosis?

[harrypottertew]

i did ask her about that at the end of the last session and she did say, no. so it is like a free for all. so i am the picking for the buzzards, or in this case the therapist. i did read something about hypnosis but that was a while back, can't really remember what i read. something about keeping your focus on something to go into a hypnotic sleep, or was that the other way around...

[Annorah]

Hi there

Here is the link to the official sign up thread for the Spiritual Cleansing class:

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?p=3108852#post3108852

It also has details of the areas to be covered.

Blessed be

[harrypottertew]

i am so relieved that i am only able to be half hyptomotized. i was able to answers the questions by will but not completely answer them. i realized the question but i only could modify the answer slightly. for example, she asked me what i believed in. my mouth started moving but i think i said "i believe in my own paths in life and the road takes me to were i believe in." i think i said that. my mouth was moving without my acknowledgement. i had to think fast, i believe i did screw up on the second question. what has been the second most thing you cannot do? i know i said magic, i screwed up... my cover has been blowen, i know it has been. maybe she thought like magic tricks or something i do not know. _inabox_ she woke me up and she reviewed me. i was only able to remember a small amount of things questioned to me. she said to me that i was so advanced in my knowledge that i tend to over do it. she gave me a example from one of her questions. i guess she asked me if i could meditate and i guess i told her. she knew the first couple of weeks i couldn't get me nose to stop bleeding during and after a meditation. she said that i concentrate too hard on something that i do not realize that i self terminate. then it hit me, i was practicing magick for most of the day and i guess i couldn't really sleep because i couldn't stop thinking on what i was doing wrong to creat the even most basic of spells and or castings, wich ever you guys want to define magick work. all of these solutions start coming to me from what i have had questions for. i have been overdoing others work, i haven't paid attention to my mental workings, i have neglected my work on other subjects, others have disowned me for the task i have chosed and made in my past. lots of questions answered.

[harrypottertew]

i forgot to mention in the last thread but when i got home after therapy and i got ready for bed and i was able to sleep for over 10 hours. i feel refreshed today, who knew that therapy could work for me? she said to come today for a final examination of my mental capeablities and see if anything else bothers me. a good thing happened to me today. i turned in 2 mites projects "projects i have been working on for a month in the machine shop" and i recieved one 1st prize medal for regional and the second project recieved a 2nd place. feel like dancing. but today i have to turn in my projects for the state compatition that gets judged tommorrow. hopefully i get first prize. i saw the set up for everyone in the state for machining, it is defently going to be close. can't wait for the results.:cheers:

[Lunacie]

I'm so glad the therapy is helping you sort things out in your mind. I agree, it's going to make a world of differrence, not just in your feeling like you can work with the energy to do magic, but in your everyday life and dealing with other people. :woot:

[MankyCat]

I'm so glad the therapy is helping you sort things out in your mind. I agree, it's going to make a world of differrence, not just in your feeling like you can work with the energy to do magic, but in your everyday life and dealing with other people. :woot:


I second this. :hahugh:

[harrypottertew]

i just took a nap before going to the library and i had the worst memories come to me in my sleep. when i was younger- my abondonment, then came a series of lonliness in my little tree house by myself while watching the whole neighbor hood played with each other and they forgot me. then another series of dreams of me standing tall on a hill, looking proud into a little puddle of water. then i found myself in the shadows of a room watching others dance and i was tring to make contact and have a converstation with someone but they continued to walk away from me. that is were i woke up my eyes tearing and staining my pillow. i never have had a dream in quite a while, maybe for the last 2 years i havent had a dream. this shocked me at first and then i realized i have completely broken down my barriers of emotions that have been sealed up since i was a young boy. very weird things are happening, i have felt emotions i have never felt in many years. is this how everyone feels or am i wrong?

[harrypottertew]

the therapist said that i was okay to be released unless i have something else on my mind. so it sounds like i am completely cured. i have been resting a lot better now and i am so energized that i got my magickal working back on focus. i am so glad that you all have helped me. i would of had a mental crash and i would of probably jumped off a building or soming. without you i would of been completely lost. now, if i do not screw up on my magick workings again and miss any eyebrows "LOL" i am in good shape!! words cannot express the feelings i have for you. i may even call you all a friend, that is if you do not shunn me off or something. but anyway i would like to thank you all for the help you have given me and getting on the correct path. again thanks.

[Lunacie]

Glad to hear things are brighter for you. And it's OKAY to screw up with magic. I think we learn just as much from our mistakes as from our successes. Just keep things simple at first so if you do screw up it won't cause the world to come to an end. :lol: