Do you choose this or does it choose you?

[LadyCelt]

I was wondering about your views on this. Do you choose this faith, or does it choose you?

Since around Fall of 2006, I've been denying being into this path as more than just studying it. Its a long story. But, part of it is that I do call myself Christian (and that is the closest explaination to what I believe.) But, I also believe in divinity as male and female. I just can't accept the concept of it only being male. But, at the same time, I feel there is something there to the Goddess side of things. I also feel that with studying history and religion, there is too much there to be nothing.

I've felt that tug from the Goddess and other things for a while. It seems that despite trying to put it away, it comes back. After going through a tough time last week with concern for someone I love, I really felt that tug from her again. I felt really conflicted, but also like I couldn't run from it anymore. And, I started praying to her again for the first time in a while a few nights ago. I know it may conflict with my faith, but I also feel I can't keep running. It tears me apart to keep doing it.

So, I was wondering; is it all a choice or something more?

[Lyrien]

I was wondering about your views on this. Do you choose this faith, or does it choose you?




My views are my views and this subject can have many different ones depending on who you ask.

With any religious belief, I feel it is a choice you make. You can choose to follow a faith because it makes sense, because of fear, because it feels good to you, or for any reason anyone could come up with. However, it is always a choice you make.

Does it choose you? Is it choosing you or are you choosing it and need to place responsibility elsewhere. This isn't accusatory, just something to think about. There is a lot of guilt associated with some faiths, and when you feel the need for change in that faith, you can feel guilty. By putting the responsibility for that change on "it chose me, what can I do?", it alleviates a bit of guilt. I'm not saying this is what is going on, but it is something to think about.


It is my belief that there is but one divine that speaks in many, many different ways. So for me, divine speaks as God and Jesus as well as the Goddess depending on how it is you best will hear her.



brb, phone

[Nitefalle]

This is a great question and something I was actually pondering yesterday, while perusing some posts.

I believe that your path in life chooses you. Perhaps it's predestination, perhaps it's something we're born with, I couldn't tell you, but something out there calls to each person in their heart. I was raised Catholic and as a child, I was content to go to church once a week (even though I thought it was boring, as all children do). However, once I was old enough to question things for myself and be more self aware, I realized that I never *felt* anything in church and that bothered me because I feel your religion should bring you comfort and joy. I had been exposed to Paganism at that point through a friend (who did not try to convert me, it just happened to be what she practiced and I was curious) and it just stirred something in my soul. Though it was my choice to leave the Church and pursue Paganism on my own, I made that choice *because* something within Paganism spoke to me on a level that I just couldn't deny. So, I say it chose me - or perhaps it was mutual.

I think that, had I chosen to stay in the Church, I would not have been happy...or at least not as happy as this path has made me. I inherently believe in too many things that the Church denies, such as reincarnation. It just makes sense to me, always has.

[Astara Seague]

I believe it chose me, I tried to deny it as long as I could and I am very glad that The Goddess did not give up on me

[Lyrien]

Sorry, sister was having a crisis. LOL

Anyhow, I lost my train of thought, but wanted to add this....

The Christian God gave you free will. Free will to choose many things in this life, including him. If you just so happen to relate to the divine through the Goddess a little bit easier than through Jesus, there's nothing wrong with that in my book.

[kheretsenu]

My faith chose me. I've been running circles around it from the time I was a child, and never in any of those other places did I find spiritual fulfillment. Kemet was an academic interest, a cultural one - it seemed to familiar and at the same time too distant to be a religious option.

When I finally payed attention to what was right in front of me, things got a lot better.

[Crystal Willowtree]

i'd say i chose my faith - it made more sense 2 me than other faiths...
i chose what i believe in

[LadyCelt]

Thanks for the replies.

I wouldn't say I relate better to the Goddess than Jesus. Its just, I feel I can't deny my connection to her and the female side of things. I am not mean to peopel about it, it is their faith, but sometimes I feel odd when I constantly hear people call God male. I just can't see divinity as only male.

i struggle with feeling like I contradict myself and my faith, but the running away from it and avoiding it hasn't been easy. So, sometimes its jsut too hard to run from it.

I think maybe its both finding it and it finding you. I know that making a couple of friends a while back in a class helped me get more into it (though I was studying this already.) and then, making another friend developed it more.

[Sage Rainsong]

For me it's pretty hard to say. I have always believed in "Pagan" things and it seems that it was just a natural part of me. I do choose to wear the label Pagan so I guess in a way it chose me, because it was naturally a part of me, and I chose it. Can both be an option?

[KylalaKitty]

I was wondering about your views on this. Do you choose this faith, or does it choose you?


I believe its both. You choose to allow faith to choose you and faith allows you to choose it.

[Greybird]

You choose it, but with the caveat that your fundamental nature, based on your experiences, makes certain options much easier 'choices'.

[Flux]

Great question. I do know that even as a small child I knew the church I was attending was wrong [for me]. It gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. I did attend various other Christian churches while growing up and in my young adulthood and while I occasionally felt satisfied, large facets of my beliefs were missing. When I discovered Paganism in my adulthood I knew it had been with me all along. I think like most relationships, you choose one another. For me, Paganism is no different.

[omar]

I stared by studying the Bible ,then history & found the Christian faith is a farce based on lies. So I became a Buddhist & wonderd onto MW one day while hunting Shamanisam & been here every since. I now am Pagan.

[Whitewolf]

I believe it chose me. Although I believe it depends on who you ask.

[inkywitch]

Oooh. Interesting question.

I do believe there is a journey laid out for me from birth. I'm supposed to play my part. I'm not sure if Deity comes into that and 'choses' certain people from birth, but I do believe the Gods choose you.
I also see this journey as a Point A is where I started, and I have to get to point B. The start and end of my journey is 'set in stone', the rest is up to me to figure out. I choose what I do and what I don't.

I also choose to use the label Pagan to describe myself.

Edit: Maybe.. just like how certain deities have 'domain' over certain areas of the universe, maybe they also have 'domain' of certain types of souls. Maybe they do choose you from before you were born. That's some food for thought for my day.

[Nocturna]

I think it has to be a combination of factors. I honestly believe sometimes people are "called" to a certain faith. It will resonate strongly with the person on many levels in a way other faiths have not. At the same time, we all have free will. We can ignore the call, or to never seek it in the first place. Then of course there are all of the cultural factors--what options are available in the particular space and time you find yourself in.

[LadyCelt]

Thanks for the replies.

I think its been confusing as to whether I can ignore things or not too.

[Tanya]

well, you know in hebrew Yaweh doesn't really have a gender... and 'he' is really refered to as 'it' in the oldest text...some bibles translate it as he/she interchaingably or give 50% hims and 50% hers when refering to the deity.

as far as itchoosing or us choosing... well... I really don't think the divine in the universe wastes much time on lil'ole me.. so for me, nothing else made sense to me, so i follow what does

[Fairy_Princess]

Like everything in my life, I chose my path. I chose to become Christian at age 12, I chose to leave the church when I was 17. I studied many religions, and lack of religions for many years and decided on my own to become pagan when I was about 21. I decide my fate, not anything else.

[wrenjamin]

I was raised Catholic, and only ever tolerated church because I could sit there and read the gospel (the more "story like" part of the mass). As I got older, I realized that much of what was being taught I didn't agree with and further, the masses just didn't sit right with me.

Right around that time, a friend of mine asked if I had ever heard of Wicca..which pretty much sparked the initial interest. My devotion and attention has waxed and waned over the years, depending on time and what I felt was the general "need" for spirituality, but I've always been drawn to it.

I believe things happen for a reason...and I do think that as much as I sought this out, there are ways in which it found me as well.

[LadyCelt]

Thanks for the replies.


I know of God referred to in plural form etc. I struggle with hearing people only refer to God as male. I keep quiet and respect them, but I just don't see it as possible. I've just been drawn to the Goddess as well as simply thinking of God as male and female more lately. I think it can be hard to ignore things or put them in your past.

[serenarian]

As some people have already said, it really does depend on who you ask. For me, it was a bit of both. I felt called to Paganism and a lot of it resonated with me (the faith 'choosing' me, if you will) but I made a conscious choice to practice and develop what I believed in (i.e. me choosing the faith).

[Shield_Wolf]

I believe it goes both was and in the end depends on the person. I believe my faith chose me, I was trying to find what I believed in and all the believes I looked in to didn't make any sense at first, but last week I found it, by the help of a Goddess. I won't go into any more about it right in here, don't want to hijack.....:)

[gwendar]

I think you can choose to follow a religion, spiritual practice, path, or whatever you like to call it.
I don't think, however, that you can choose what you believe.

[mystic_zoe]

i think it can go both ways, but for me i chose paganism.

[Shanti]

I didn't choose, I wasn't chosen. I just am, which includes my spiritual aspects. I have always had the same basic feelings in the spiritual sence. What I do choose is how to apply those feelings in my life, how to define them, and so on. But what I feel just is.

[bbnflpn]

it chose me so to speak,

i had a dream one night that i was burning and people were yelling at me that im a witch (as if it was a flash back of a past life that was in the burning times) so im thinking in my mind cause it was some what of a lucid dream as i could think in it rather than its playing not that i could control the dream, that yah i am a witch, and then my current life flashed before me and all the witchy type things i do or have done.

so in the morning i wake up and i go to the puter and i look up about wicca, and other paganisim, and i realized that yes that is what i was.

i had been in denial, and there were many signs that i was ignoring, many pagan people in my life, especially my best friend who came out to me a few months before, and as i didnt freak out about it, i just said to becareful with what she did, she said i knew you would understand.

when i came out as a witch all my friends who didnt runaway screaming, either said its about time, or what you didnt know you were a witch. and my coworker who was pagan said i thought you would come around.

so i was always pagan but the gods were having trouble makeing me realize it, so they threw me in the fire and told me. in that way it was chosen for me, but it was somthign i always was

[HadouKen24]

I didn't really choose this for myself, either. Years ago, I read plenty about paganism, but I didn't think it was for me. A couple years ago, though, I took inventory of myself, and realized that I fit perfectly into a generic sort of paganism. Which felt rather strange, to realize that this thing I'd thought of as "great, but not for me," was in fact what I was.

[Xentor]

I chose my path, but it took years before I realised it was pagan, and there were others like me out there.

[LadyCelt]

Thanks for the replies everyone

[-Sky-]

LadyCelt,even though i don't know you personally i have felt your struggle through your various posts around MW. I couldn't exactly place the feeling i was receiving but now it seems more clear.
You should not deny or doubt what comes from your heart. And it seems that the Goddess does speak to your heart. Religion is not as limited and strict as people make it seem,it is a personal path that we walk. I was raised a Christian Orthodox and although i occasionally enjoyed attending church and praying to Jesus i was always drawn to the supernatural and magic. When i discovered Paganism i knew that i had found a home. I have to admit that i still feel some pull towards christianity(although i deny it many times).
So what you should do is be open!When i found out about the Goddess i realised that she was within and next to me since my birth,i just hadn't acknowledged it. She's a very strong and nurturing force,let her guide you!

[fay]

Lady Celt, I think that you shouldn't feel guilty about the pulls you feel towards the Goddess, your conceptions of deity or your involvement with Christianity. I do not see any of these things as mutually exclusive. God is referred to as male in Christian teachings but that is a human way of understanding the divine. It is difficult to comprehend something that has no gender or both so we either split it into two or assign one gender to it. This does not mean that believing the divine is both male and female makes you any less of a Christian.

I know what you mean about not being able to resist. When I first started looking into different Pagan paths and researching, it caused some friction between my mum and I. I couldn't bear it because we are really close and so I put away all the books I had been reading, small tools I had started working with etc and decided that it wasn't that important to me. However, the reason I was drawn to some paths that are classed as Pagan was that when I was researching, the writings corresponded with what I believed already. It wasn't so much finding something new as discovering that there was a term for what I inherently thought. This meant that putting away physical items did not stop me from being who I am. I still revered the moon and took note of the phases. I still thought of the Earth as sacred. I still believed that energy can be used for a number of purposes. I realised that all I had done by putting away the books was hinder my own learning and so out they came again. Of course, because I had realised that it was important to me or more accurately a part of me, my mum accepted it.

[aluokaloo]

i have a friend who told me about the akashic records, and that our destiny is pretty much set in stone for each life time, but we choose what we want to be and do and life lessons to learn before we actually come into a physical body, that way we excperience all of life's hardships, and joys, and everything in between, but we do it a little at a time, until we understand everything eventually. I'm not sure if that's true, but it might help you out a bit.

[Empress Stillnight]

Hi There,
You might want to see if you can find the book "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey From Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine." It's by Sue Monk Kidd.

[Heart of All]

I think it chose me. I was always "Christian," but off and on. I would see a beautiful sky and have a divine experience and start going to church, but then I'd realize that Church wasn't what I wanted. I read something that referenced paganism, and then semi-jokingly asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were pagan. His reaction wasn't very good, so I put it away. A few months ago, I read a little more into it and realized that it was what was missing in Church. So here I am. I mean, I chose to teach my boyfriend enough about it that he didn't have the "eew babykiller" response and everything. But as soon as I admitted to myself that I was pagan, I felt as if a snake left my body, and I knew I was doing what I was supposed to do.

[LadyCelt]

thanks for the replies

[enteef89]

I feel that religion is chosen. using me for an example, I was called by Posiden and the water element. I feel more at ease with water, and this is how I became what I am, a pagan. I happen to believe that many people are christians, who are just really interested in paganism. Just as a study of sorts, not that they believe it. But they become so interested, that they eventually believe that it is their spirtual path, and then they leave christianity.

[daphnerose]

I've always taken my strength/spirituality from the Mother Earth. Even as an 8 yr old child I can recall pulling in strength from the Wind blowing around me when I was especially tempestuous. It took until I was in my mid twenties to find a name for who/what I was. I think I was born unto the Mother and Father . Weird, I know, just looking back as a 30 plus adult I can analyze my past and see things more clearly now. I've always been who I am now.

[Son of Deborah]

While the idea that we are chosen by birth for our exact path is a gratifying idea (and a common narrative), I personally think that, when you talk about "choosing" a path, it is truly culturally relative. I do believe that there are those of us who, from birth, have a certain heightened attunement to the Earth and the energy around us, but that doesn't mean that we are all destined for a specific religion.

For example, if you were born in Saudi Arabia, then you are, in all likelihood, going to grow up Muslim. That said, if you have this preternatural gift, you might find Sufism to be your path. Still "islamic", and still tied to the culture of the region, but very "inner mystery" style. Qabbalah and esoteric Christian sects are further examples of this. We are born with free will, but that free will is constantly informed by our environment and our culture. I grew up Catholic but made a complete break from the Church. Others may not make such a clean break, but will seek out Christian mysticism or other outlets for their calling.

[faery songs]

Both. You're both searching for each other.

[Silverfangs]

I do that kind of question to myself, over and over again.

At first it was me who started it all. My desire to try something new, to search for other ways of looking at Life, at Nature, and at the Divine.
But for many years I entered a stranger phase of cepticism. Since I am studying archaeology, I started looking at the religious aspects of many cultures in a distant, antrophological, scientific way...

Yet, recently all of that vanished... like a calling to this path again. And I started over from the zero.


So I guess the answer for this question is: BOTH.

Either you start searching for yourself or you feel like you where "called", if this is your true nature, it is very difficult to deny it... and when we denny something that is part of us, we end up feeling incomplete and unrealised.


Well, that's my opinion. Sorry for any grammar error I may have done. My english is rusty ;)