what was your defining moment?

[Hestia]

Everyone usually remembers the exact moment they found paganism, wicca, witchcraft, etc...and realized that it's what finally feels right. I still remember wondering through a book store some 13 years ago looking for another fantasy novel to read and somehow finding my way to the adjacent new age section. I picked up Scott Cunningham's Earth Power and that was pretty much it. Nothing was ever the same again. What was your defining moment?

Was it a particular book that changed your life?
A person?
Was it part of your family tradition?

It's always fascinating to hear how we all found our way 'home'....

[Tigerwallah]

The closest thing to having a defining moment was when I was 12, and my mother's cousin came to NY from Nevada. We took her to the Metropolitan Museum of Art (it was my first visit) and I first saw the Temple of Dendur - the Temple dedicated to Isis that Egypt gave to the US in 1960. I never could get the temple out of my mind. It felt so right - although, at the time, I knew none of the history behind it.

I was a Catholic school girl, who angered all of my religion teachers from the beginning. Why? I had to know why? A bad word in a religion that is held together preaching blind faith and flock mentality. So, I continued to dig until I found about the Goddess and what the church was hiding from me.

Then when I was 23 I went back to the Temple and I met Isis. She appeared to me almost instantaniously through miracles that happened after I worshipped at the Museum's Ancient Exhibit. She has been with me ever since. Most defining book is "When God Was a Woman" by Merlin Stone.

[bluecat]

Having had witches in my family that is hard to say. But my defining moment had to be when I met a certain Aunt who I bonded with right away. She had a Gypsy spirit like mine and I knew there was something special about her. We are not of the Romany clan, we are Welsh and have Welsh warrior gypsy.

Blue :cool:

[Fawn]

Part of family tradition is looking at other beliefs and sitting in another's place of worship-I realized just how lucky I am to have my deities with me always.

[Dagda Moon~Lily]

I don't think I had one defining moment. It was more like a series of moments throughout my life.

As a young girl, I would go out side and sit on the crest of a knoll that faced a beautiful old maple tree, and just sit and ....meditate, I guess though I didn't know what exactly it was I was doing at the time. I would just sit there, and listen to the rhythm of nature. Feel the warmth of the sun caressing my face and feeling somehow....at home. It was so tranquil and at moments like that, when the a gentle breeze would touch my face and lift my hair, I just felt complete. I was totally embraced by the nature I was reaching out for.

At night, I would be laying in bed, and I always had to see the moon and have the moonlight play across my bed somehow. I usually keep my bed right under the window so I could lay there and watch it cross the sky. It was really entrancing. I've had an attraction to the moon, ....since I can remember. There is such beauty and serenity there. ...again, I would have the feeling of being complete.

I grew up in a home that believed in religion, but were advent practioners. Occasionally we would go to church, but not often. It was just understood that there was a god, and there were laws, but no ritual 'soulsaving' going on. Just the typical middle class family, trying to survive. Church wasn't a high priority, but God was something to be believed in and prayed to.

I got into paganism/wicca when I was in my early/mid twenties. I had always felt drawn to it, and most anything 'occult/new age'. (example: divination, female/male god, tarot, scrying, candle magic <which I was practicing long before I knew exactly what it was I was doing! :D>, incantations, the moon, dreams and symbology....all that kind of stuff)

So, my beliefs have been with me from the get go....I just never had a name/label to put with it. I feel I was born pagan, raised xtian and freed to bloom and grow in my own beliefs. I did have help though. My best friend, Illyandra. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have had the courage to question the name I put with my beliefs. Now, I feel I have reach a plane in my own nirvana that no one can take from me. A couple planes down, and many to go!

The important thing is, I've found home, and no can take that from me. :sunny:

~stepping off my self liberation box~

;)

~D

[adrian]

I too have to say that it wasn't one particular moment, it was with me from the beginning but being young and not having a teacher/mentor and not knowing anything
about the old ways, i tripped the life fantastic really blind to what it truly was...i just felt good.
Years later and gaining life experience i became aware of the true powers of this world and our place in it, it was then i felt compelled to research/seek truth, i have been at it for as long as i have been here but fighting societys' ills and trying to retain my sanity kept me from finding "self" for most of my life.

WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN....TO LIVE, WHITE LACE AND
PROMISES A KISS GOOD LUCK AND WE'RE ON OUR WAY.
HOME!

[Ayla]

Good question :-)
I was about twelve when I discovered, in the local library, and from one of my Mum's friends, that I wasn't the only one who could *do things* and that there was a name for us, and that name was "Witch". I used to play at being the villiage wisewoman in my parents garden when I was little (t'was my favourite game), and I still remember the sound telling off I got for making my friend ill because I fed her some "magick potion" that was supposed to make her feel better! lol I guess I would still use the words "medicine woman" to describe myself, but I'm a lot better at it now! I used to make houses for the fae and leave them shells, food, cloth all sorts of things. I didn't realise that making it sunny, or seeing faeries, or talking to the birds and beasties, or making someone well again, or having lucid dreams, or meditating was "odd" until I reached about 9 years old. Then I tried to hide it because noone else did it. I was twelve when I first told my Father I was a Witch, because I was so happy that I'd finally found other people that were like me.

Sorry to have rambled,
Love & Hugs,
http://ayla.brinkster.net/ayla/images/signatureT.gif

[Amora]

For myself, I never bought into organized religions. My parents never pushed it because fortunately they saw through the facade as well. For many years I didn't think I belonged to any religion. I had started going to Salem MA every October simply because I found it fascinating and very disturbing that these people were tortured for going against the church all those years ago. Then when I was 20 I made my annual pilgrimage to Salem and was prompted to look up some websites on the Craft. I'll never forget the first site I pulled up it talked about the basic principles of the religion and instantly I felt renewed. I walked through the door of my house and announced that I found my way...I was a Witch all along...I just never knew it. Since then it's been a learning experience, and a beautiful one!!

[LaDaya]

I would have to say there were several moments and then again not really.... I grew up feeling the energies in the world around.. of sitting there staring up at the sky, of believing I could talk to animals and spirits and believing that I could make things happen if I wanted it bad enough... I was raised pretty much in the middle class American family that was by faith Baptist when they chose to go to church but I wanted something more. For awhile I went to a United Pentecostal Church and thought I had found what I was looking for but soon realized that I was unhappy and depressed all the time. I didn't want to be that way so I started looking elsewhere. It took me years before I found paganism because I was raised to believe that it was Satanic and evil and I didn't want to go to hell. When I was 20 I was looking in the New Age section trying to find something that would help me understand what I was going thru. Anyway, a book by Ravenwolf caught my eye and so I bought it and took it home and read it. I realized that it was what I was had been practicing to a smaller degree. I have been studying it more throughly since then but I would have to say that was probably when I really found this path. Although I was "doing" it already I just didn't realize it.

[SahuaDjet]

Em Hotep,
My boyfriend started me out on Wicca but at the time I was studying something I knew nothing about so it was strange at the time. As time went on it became natural and opened my mind and heart. I went through a time of depression and took a "spiritual vacation" and during that time had a simple dream that told me I need the craft. Then I began to realize all the wonderful things it has giving me (to wake up and see the sun brightly above me, the rich green trees growing, ect...). It gave me a reason to live....

Sahu Djet

[adrian]

Originally posted by SahuaDjet
Em Hotep,
My boyfriend started me out on Wicca but at the time I was studying something I knew nothing about so it was strange at the time. As time went on it became natural and opened my mind and heart. I went through a time of depression and took a "spiritual vacation" and during that time had a simple dream that told me I need the craft. Then I began to realize all the wonderful things it has giving me (to wake up and see the sun brightly above me, the rich green trees growing, ect...). It gave me a reason to live....

Sahu Djet YES!!! and to feel like a vital part of the creation...to be truly ALIVE!!!

[Mariposa De La Luna]

No one moment. When I was a child my favorite subject was the Egyptians and thier mythologies, then the Greek and Roman and Sumerians etc,etc. When I was in High school my friend loned me a book, it was ok. When we got married i started reading his books and it still didn't spark but I wasn't practicing any religion then. I had a difficult time in my life then I decided I would better myself in order to find the Goddess. I started losing wieght and working on some issues. After a couple of years, just recently, we found a 101 class. Then my life begain to really change. When we attended the open circle this past Ostara something touched me and I knew I was on the right path. I'm on a truly magickal journey and I'm glad I have all of you to help me on my way. :)

[adrian]

Originally posted by SAHM
No one moment. When I was a child my favorite subject was the Egyptians and thier mythologies, then the Greek and Roman and Sumerians etc,etc. When I was in High school my friend loned me a book, it was ok. When we got married i started reading his books and it still didn't spark but I wasn't practicing any religion then. I had a difficult time in my life then I decided I would better myself in order to find the Goddess. I started losing wieght and working on some issues. After a couple of years, just recently, we found a 101 class. Then my life begain to really change. When we attended the open circle this past Ostara something touched me and I knew I was on the right path. I'm on a truly magickal journey and I'm glad I have all of you to help me on my way. :) I can relate to what you're saying, i too felt something that said to me
"this is what it is about, can you feel it" and i was so happy in that knowledge. I have been a christian most of my growing life and the feeling of connecting with the spirit while in church is different than connecting with spirit while in the creation. Church gave me a feeling of having a spiritual orgasm but that was all, something touched you, made you feel good and was gone until the next time you worked yourself into a frenzy, while being outdoors isn't orgasmic (unless one is skyclad and dancing around a fire) but...more of a revelation, it's so hard to find the correct word, it was so beautiful like looking upon love and knowing it for what it is.

[Hestia]

Wow, it's really great to read everyone's story! I agree that there were definitely several defining moments that led up to the one that finally made it all make sense. My most memorable ones involved celebrating certain holidays with my Catholic grandmother. I spent part of my childhood in the Philippines and although holidays like All Soul's Day were very tied in to the church what I remember the most were customs that aren't too different from what the early european pagans had. I just remember those moments as being very magic(k)al and although I eventually wandered away from the religion I wanted to still feel that connection to the old ways and the seasons. As I got older it bothered me that the holidays the church celebrated seemed out of sync with the natural cycle of the seasons. I just felt there was more to it. By the time I discovered the Earth Power book I had so many unanswered questions which was why I found it so amazing that this simple little book and what it eventually opened up for me, finally started to bring it all together.

BB:)
Hestia

[Armitage]

My defining moment was meeting my best friend. I am willing to admit, being only 13 at the time, I was out to shock, as well as explore almost anything that people shied away from. But after countless trips to bookstores and twice as many hikes around the nearest park (less a park, more a small jungle) with just my walkman, I was convinced that there was a deeper meaning to my shock tactics. This all solidified around my 17th birthday.
I'm still not sure where I'm headed but damned if the path there isn't interesting! :P

[Lilu]

I thought I'd answered this, I guess not! Oops!
GREAT question Hestia.

I was raised Catholic, and looking back I realise that even as a Catholic I was being called to the Goddess Brigid through St. Bridget who would have been the saint's name I took at confirmation (if I'd finished it).

My most defining moment would have to be when I read the book "Wilderness Moon" by Penelope Lucas. It's a prehistorical fictional novel based around a fictitious matrifocal tribe in Siberia in prehistoric time.

They worship the moon as Goddess Ahni Amwe. This book had a profound effect on me, and one night, in the middle of the book, it was a full moon and I was compelled to go outside and just dedicate myself to "Her".

I did so, even though I didn't even know there WAS such a thing as a pagan or a wiccan or a goddess worshipper for real (I was only 14)

Basically the dedication was a song I composed on the spot to Ahni Amwe (the name of the moon/goddess used in the book - I knew no other and it felt so comfortable to me) and I felt a distinct "coming home" feeling at the completion of it.

I remember the night clearly, where I was sitting, what I was sitting on, the coldness in the air, the dew on the grass, the feelings associated with it. The only thing I don't remember is the song!

A few years later I was to discover Wicca through the book "The Truth About Witchcraft Today" by Scott Cunningham, and the rest, as they say, is history!

Bright Blessings,
Lilu