Complete 180

[Mitsuko]

My fiance's mom has just done a total 180 spin when it comes to her stand about us being Wiccan. Seemingly, at least to me, out of the blue today she told me that my fiance and I are no longer allowed to practice on the property. Strange seeing how she's been fine with it for almost 2 years. I asked her why the sudden change, and she told me that she had spoken to many people of many different religions and they had all said that Wicca was devil-worship. I think my jaw must have been hanging open, because she looked at me strange and said "I don't care what you say, this house worships the Lord, and I don't want you or Rick doing any of this witchcraft stuff!"
When I tried to explain to her (*sigh*) she said "How come you think you know so much? You're only 19. The people I spoke to were at least twice your age. They've lived, you haven't." I tried to tell her that information stemming from "my friend has a friend" and coming from people who have no real experience with the religion weren't the best to go to for advice. She started asking some off-base questions, and repeating the "This house worships the Lord" and "I believe STRONGLY in the Lord." I tried to tell her that I respect her wishes, and that I just wanted to know exactly what she had been told, but she never did tell me much besides "its devil-worship". *sigh* What should I do now?

[Silverfangs]

Now thats a (not so) odd situation. You will need lots of patience and time to deal with it. Try to lend her a book that explains what Wicca really is, or maybe some kind of documentary (I think there are some). What I'm trying to say is, that she clearly will not listen to you since you are "to young to know anything about it". Calmly insist in demonstrating what you and your fiance believe, but the main thing is show her that others believe the same way. Maybe that way she will not think that you both are just going some crazy desviant path away from the Lord and close to the Devil. This is all a case of lack and wrong information beeing told to her, by others.
I never passed throught something like that so, I don't know what to say more. I hope all goes well with you, and that you can make her spin another 180º to get to the starting position again:)


Good Luck!

[Lunacie]

That sucks. Do you think it would do any good to tell her you've talked to someone who is three times your age, who was a Christian until about 20 years ago, and who knows that Wiccans do not worship any devils? Probably not, eh.

Do you live in the same house with her? If so, you may have to go somewhere else (park, lake, etc) to do your rituals.

Are you renting from her? If so, she may not have any authority to prevent you from following a legally recognized religion.

[Fairy_Princess]

Well it is her house.... If you want the freedom to practice as you see fit, i'm sorry this may seem harsh but: You need to find your own place. As long as you live with her, you do so at her sufferage. "My House, My rules" may be cliched but it's also fair, the one who pays for the place, pays the bills, pays for the food is in charge.

Does your mother in law look like this:

http://img472.imageshack.us/img472/9730/darksided3zx.jpg

[Lorrie]

My son and his wife went through a similar type of situation. Her mother found out that my son is pagan, and they were being forced to move out. People told the mother some bad stuff, so she was scared of course. Then she decided to find out more about it herself, and she did a 180 turn around when she found out it wasn't what she thought it was, and there were no more problem about it. I can honestly see why that mother is so upset, look at what she has been presented with from these people that are misinformed, if it was me, I would be scared to death too. I agree with let her read something real about it, maybe let her look at something online somewhere, help her see correct information.

[BlueEyedWolf]

:hugz: :hugz: :hugz: Great points all across your thread. Great advice from all.:hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

[Son of Deborah]

This is a bad situation, but I've had experience with it. When my cousin was 16, she wanted to tell her grandmother that she was exploring Wicca, and, although her grandmother is very open-minded and loving, she is a devout Catholic. As her good ole' Pagan cousin, she came to me for advice, so we came up with the following plan of action.

1. Realize that there would probably be only one chance to get it right (in your case, only one more).

2. Make sure the discussion was not in any way begun adversarially.

3. Make sure to approach at a time when she was amenable to discussion (as an empath, you have a leg up, as you should be able to tell when she is feeling open and loving.)

4. Bring at least one respected book that can answer her questions.

5. Have a plan of action, and be firm in your beliefs, even as you are understanding about her decision to allow them in her house.

6. Try to draw parallels between the two faiths (her grandmother is very devoted to the Virgin Mary, so we compared her to the Goddess aspect of divinity).

7. After the discussion, if we couldn't convince her to be ok with it, we would drop it for a time, if not forever. (As it turned out, her grandmother decided that she wouldn't have it in her house, but that she could explore it outside the house, as long as I supervised. She trusted me implicitly and knew I would not steer her wrong.)


Just remember that, although you are devoted to your path, as soon as you reactive aggressively, she will put up her defenses and shut you out, and that will be that. Be patient, understanding, and, most importantly, knowledgeable. I hope things work out for you.