Saying Goodbye Before I Go Into The Hospital.

[Lilith Morgaine]

I plan on going into the hospital tomorrow. I've been wanting to go for the last few months, but with finding an apt and all the turmoil, I just couldn't. I had to get things settled, you know?

Now I've been putting it off til I could pay my bills today for the month. Yes, even @ my worst I am responsible and conscientious, a definite worrier, and I figure the less I can give myself to worry about in the hospital, the better.

I've dealt with severe depression and anxiety for the last 8 years......

It will probably be a min 10 days max 3 weeks
Thank you all for you understanding.... I have what's called dysthymic depression.

If you'd like to read about it....

http://www.emedicine.com/med/topic3120.htm

and

http://www.psychologyinfo.com/depression/dysthymic.htm

I ask for your prayers, positive energy, and love.

I'm really scared. Scared that I will go in the hospital and nothing will change or get better, ya know? Kinda like having surgery and being scared it won't fix whatever it's supposed to fix?

I'm trying to stay positive and that's what counts, right?
I already know the phone numbers for the pay phones there. If you'd like them, to call me.... please PM me by tomorrow, July 5th, 9:30 am EST... after that I won't be around til I get home.

I love you all. I plan on taking you all along with me in my heart. Hey... you can always visit me on the astral......

BB
Amanda

[Willow Rosette]

Oh Lilith what a brave woman you are. You are in my prayers honey. :hugz:

[Shawn Blackwolf]

Lilith / Amanda...

Please ... If it be thy will...You do not know me...
But I would be honored , to call you , and wish you
well , during your healing...

So , if you care to , PM me...I will check in with you ,
to see your healing progress...

And you will heal...I know there are many , who love you...

Adding to the love you are...Blessings...

[alwaysfallingup]

I really hope that you find the comfort and healing that you want and deserve. You're already on the right track...wanting to get better is the first hard step. I'll be thinking of you and sending you healing wishes!

~Alisha~

[Merrilyn]

Best Wishes and Take Care.

[moonbride]

You're in my thoughts, Lilith. I hope nothing but good things for you coming out of this. :hugz:

[Eternal Night]

I wish you positive and healing energies hun and take care.
love u babes xxxxxxxx _pounce_

[Bluewillow]

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I really hope that you come out of this feeling a definite improvement, and that you find the comfort and peace of mind that you need. Remember that there are a lot of people here who care about you. :hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

[LostSheep]

Hey

Good luck. :hugz:

be thinking of you.

Sheep .

[Earthy]

Rest, take care of yourself and know that we are all there with you sweetie.
I love you and will be thinking of you every day until you return :hugz:

[October]

You are ever in my thoughts and prayers and I'll get another candle going for you. :hugz: I sincerely hope you get better. I can't guarantee I can call (I'll be out of the country for a while), but if you want to PM me your numbers, I will try to call at least once.

[Sennefer]

:hugz: You will be in my thoughts. :hugz:

[SilverClaw]

As I said before this is not good bye but rather just see you later. You will be in my thoughts and I wish for you the best outcome :hugz:

[Annorah]

Sending you loads of positive and healing energies.

:hugz:

[Bettie]

I'll keep you in my thoughts. Good luck.

[Lorrie]

http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif

[TheWomanMonster]

Hey, it takes guts to do this, you're a strong and capable woman.
And I know you'll do well. :hugz:
Don't know if it matters, but I'm proud of you.

Catch you on the flip side sweetie.

[Philosophia]

Sending healing, positive, and comforting energy to you! :hugz: Stay safe and be strong!

[Catiana]

:hugz: positive and healing energy sent

[Annest]

Lots and love and light on the way. :hugz:

[airmist]

Good for you; thank you for sharing your courage. I will ask the spirits I know to share their strength with you.

[Rudas Starblaze]

good luck LM.

[angle kitsune]

alittle late but good luck and much hugs. May this be what you need.

[Lilith Morgaine]

I'm home. I'm not sure exactly what that means to me yet. I feel better than before I went to the hospital, but *this* hospital experience was not something to be repeated. I have to focus on me. I never realized just how LITTLE of that I do..... what I thought was focusing on me was really me focusing on what other people wanted of me or worrying about that they thought of me, but not taking care of No. 1.

That's got to be my first priority right now. I don't know how many more breaks I'll survive so I have to take good care of me. I have to love me and what ever else that means.....

Thank you all for your support.... I need it now more than ever to stay strong... I love you all......

[SilverClaw]

That's got to be my first priority right now. I don't know how many more breaks I'll survive so I have to take good care of me. I have to love me and what ever else that means..... Glad to read that :D I know I have problems doing that for myself to. :hugz: WELCOME HOME !! Sweetie :D

[TheWomanMonster]

I'm so glad you're back! Lots of love hun!
:hugz:

[Shawn Blackwolf]

That WAS quick...I am so glad , Lilith...I did not even
have to contact you inside...Though I thought of you ,
and kept you in my prayers...

[Lilith Morgaine]

That WAS quick...I am so glad , Lilith...I did not even
have to contact you inside...Though I thought of you ,
and kept you in my prayers...


unfortunately it was so quick because I did not get to go to the hospital I planned on going to and got shipped to another which was EXTREMELY traumatizing and I wouldn't recommend the hospital I was in to a corpse... I had nightmares last night and flashbacks ABOUT THE HOSPITAL..... yes in this day and age.....

[Lorrie]

I went through a time not so long ago when I realized this type of thing too, then realized that I had no idea at all about what I liked to do, I had always done for others, never myself, I had no idea what makes me happy. It was a very scary feeling bacause I didn't know what to do.

[Shawn Blackwolf]

I am sorry to hear that , Lilith...

Hopefully , you shall not need to go back in anywhere ,
from now on...

You know...Just a thought...PM Elise...

She just posted a lesson , on grounding , that might help you...

Check with her , first...

[wintermagick]

Welcome home, welcome home. I hope that you will be able to continue to move forward with your discoveries the experience helped you make.

Love you,
D

:wave:

[October]

I'm home. I'm not sure exactly what that means to me yet. I feel better than before I went to the hospital, but *this* hospital experience was not something to be repeated. I have to focus on me. I never realized just how LITTLE of that I do..... what I thought was focusing on me was really me focusing on what other people wanted of me or worrying about that they thought of me, but not taking care of No. 1.

That's got to be my first priority right now. I don't know how many more breaks I'll survive so I have to take good care of me. I have to love me and what ever else that means.....

Thank you all for your support.... I need it now more than ever to stay strong... I love you all......


Welcome back (I've said that three times now, lol!)! It's good you feel better. Keep it that way!

[Annest]

_pounce_ Glad to know you are felling a little better. Take care . You are in my prayers.

Anne

[Earthy]

Remember sweetie, it never matters what others think of you..only your opinion matters.
Love yourself Lilith :hugz:

[angle kitsune]

welcom back! happy to have you here and still in one peice.