On my own...

[~Audra~]

I'm nearly 25 years old. I think it's time I moved away from my parents, especially my Dad. There's just so much that i want to do that i can't do in this household. I NEED my freedom.

The thing is, I'm so scared that I can't think straight at work, i don't sleep right, and I literally start to shake at the thought.

Any pointers that some of you could give me would be great, but all i really need is a hug...and a cold one. :cheers:

:blushake:

[SilverClaw]

not much I could say in that department of moving out .... but here is a :hugz: And at first I thought you meant a cold hug not a drink sorry for my duhness this evening :D

[~Audra~]

not much I could say in that department of moving out .... but here is a :hugz: And at first I thought you meant a cold hug not a drink sorry for my duhness this evening :D

8O

thanks

[Aina]

Well, do you have a significant other? When I moved out, I moved out with my fiance. That made it really fun, and easy too!
If you don't have an SO, put an add in the paper for a roomate! Or if you have a friend who wants to move out too, then house-hunt together! (or apartment hunt).
I can't wait to move out of here again. >.>

[~Audra~]

Well, do you have a significant other? When I moved out, I moved out with my fiance. That made it really fun, and easy too!
If you don't have an SO, put an add in the paper for a roomate! Or if you have a friend who wants to move out too, then house-hunt together! (or apartment hunt).
I can't wait to move out of here again. >.>

I LOVE YOU... why didn't i think of that...thanks so much for this advice...:boing:

[Pagan Warrior]

Well, do you have a significant other? When I moved out, I moved out with my fiance. That made it really fun, and easy too!
If you don't have an SO, put an add in the paper for a roomate! Or if you have a friend who wants to move out too, then house-hunt together! (or apartment hunt).
I can't wait to move out of here again. >.>

While I do think it would be fun to live with an SO, it would only be fun for a short period of time. Roommating is much safer, but don't roommate with a friend ... I've lost a few friendships that way.

Here's what you need to do, go apartment hunting. All you'll need, for yourself, is probably a 1 bedroom at most, maybe a studio will do. Make a list of the most affordable apartments and go visit them. Here's the tricky part though, you will be given a tour of some fancy demo model ... you'll NEVER get an apartment that looks that good, so here's my suggestion. After the tour, bid them farewell (DON'T SIGN ANYTHING) ... then take a walk around the apartment grounds. Talk to people who live there, ask them how long they've been there and how they like it. Ask them what their average utilities cost, and be sure to get the "bottom line" price from the complex (make the calculate tax, and any additional fees ... if they're not willing to give you a commitment on a price, move on).

Next thing is to tour the neighborhood, make sure it's a safe area. Find out what school district it's in and what police department covers that area. Talk to the police and ask for crime rates in that area and specifically in that apartment complex. Trust me, the police will be able to tell you if you should move in or not ;) .

Finally, write up a budget and bid high on everything. For example, if they offer you $650 a month for rent, make it $675. If the average utilities come to $100 a month, bump it up to $150 or so. Give yourself some wiggle room on your budget. Factor in groceries, driving expenses (gas), phone (cell and/or land line), internet, cable/satellite, and whatever else you can think of.

What I'm getting at here is make sure you do your homework. Believe me you do NOT want to move into a complex and regret it for six to 12 months. Also, make sure you read your local Landlord & Tenant Act and be familiar with your rights and responsibilities. When you get to sign a contract be sure to read it CAREFULLY and ask questions. If you don't agree with something ask them to cross it out and then you both initial the paperwork to verify you both agree to the amended terms ... let me give you an example. I just renewed my lease where I live and the contract was different, it was from a home rental not an apartment. So, when I read the part about landscape responsibilities I asked them to remove the part where I am responsible for upkeep. Granted they probably wouldn't hold me to it ... but I'm not willing to take that chance.

Also ... when you make your list of apartments, factor into it drive distances to the places you visit most often. Calculate gas mileage and estimate how often (per week or month) you visit those areas and include that into your budget ... this can be driving to and from work, to your parents house, friends, local hang outs, groceries, malls, and so on.

I realize this seems like a lot of work, but take it from someone who's made a few mistakes in his search for a place to live. Last place before where I am now was so bad I broke my lease to leave. I almost got into three fights, one of them included a man who beat his wife and threw a knife in the direction of a friend of mine. Someone tried TWICE to steal my motorcycle, second time I ended chasing him through the parking lot in my bare feet. My friend, who also lived there, had her car stolen once and had to replace the ignition two or three times.

I hope that helps, and if you have any questions feel free to PM me!

Good Luck!!

[Lauren Michele]

:hugz::cheers:

[Willow Rosette]

Moving out is great!! I could never ever live at home with my Mom again. I can clean when I want have friends over when I want..Live my life when and how I want.

:hugz: You can do this!!

[oceandreams]

I so agree! Once you make the jump and move out, you'll never look back! Having freedom and being able to live the way you like to is far nicer than living with parents even if you get on really well with them!

I moved out at 18 and I know I could never go back!!

The apartment hunting advice you received from Pagan Warrior was spot on - take things slow and you'll be fine!

[Merrilyn]

I just know it'll be good for you! Moving out was so scary for me, too.. I moved out around your age as well due to one circumstance and another. I was TERRIFIED! But once I settled in, realized I was responsible for all my things, I felt wonderful! Having a roommate also helped greatly. We shared bills, shared cooking, all of that.. But we had separate bedrooms and bathrooms which really helped a lot.

I'm sending you a big :hugz: and some energy to boost your confidence! You can do it and it's a great time. :D

Best wishes.

[~Audra~]

thanks you guys so much for all the hugs and advice...:boing:

[Gwyna Star]

I understand where you're coming from. When I was 24 I decided I had enough of living at home, though I was very nervous about leaving. Through family gossip I found out that my brother's ex's sister was looking for a roommate. When she heard I was thinking of moving out, she contacted me and we got the ball rolling.

After a month or so of planning and finding the right 2 bedroom apartment, I moved out and never looked back. It was a little scary at first but my new roommate was older and had lived on her own before so she understood apartment contracts and so forth. I was lucky I had someone to look out for me. :)

I'm so glad I made the decision and would never consider thinking of living with my parents again. I love them, but my Mom especially would drive me absolutely insane! :nyah:

Get the word out through your family or friends that you're thinking of moving out, you might find a roommate that way. Good luck!

[Pagan Warrior]

I, too, was scared when I moved out on my own. I had never really been taught how to manage bills and budget my money, so I did a lot of trail & error ... more error than trail, but thank the goddess for parents who are willing to help out.

I think my biggest concern, honestly, was food. I could comprehend bills to a point, and managed to throw together a rudimentary system for managing my money ... but food scared me. I kept thinking if I didn't buy enough of the right things I would starve :lol: ... of course looking back it was a silly thing to worry about.

You will be fine, there's a lot of "seasoned vets" on thsi board who have been there, done that. If you need some advice don't hesitate to come back here for some ideas :)