what to do?

[Luna Moon 1]

My problem is simple, but complicated in the fact that I am not sure rather or not I should.... Gee, I feel as though I am back in high school. But, anyways. You see, I am currently involved in a long-distance relationship (and have been for years - with the same guy). I want to be faithful to my boyfriend, but at the same time I want to date other people. I have already given him permission to date other women while we are apart, but it's not that simple for me. I have been asked out on several occasions and I am currently "talking" to a fellow Cast Member from ODF, but I constantly decline invites to the movies, mini golfing, dinner, and amusement parks jus because I feel as though to go out and in enjoy the company of another man would make me unfaithful and/ or brake my boyfriends heart (as he as been just as faithful to me). I won't mind going out with my ODF friend, if we were going to these places as friends, but I know that he likes me as more than that and I don't want to get his hopes up and disappoint him.

*Sigh* What to do? What part of me to listen to?

[oceandreams]

I'm confused! I was once in a long distance relationship but that didnt include seeing other people! We were as serious as any other relationship except we lived apart. Our energy went into planning time together though and we eventually got married.

If you're in an open relationship then there's no reason for you not to go out and have fun if your boyfriend is!
Are you sure you want each other to be able to date other people though?

[Merrilyn]

Time for some soul-searching and making up of the mind...! This can't go on for either of you. You have the right to do as you please in your adult life, and to boots with who doesn't agree. Make up your mind.. LDR with openness truly, or start exploring other options. Best Wishes to you.

[Wolf O Volos]

Says it all in your own post. The "friend" is not just a friend. He wants more. Unless you want more from the supposed "friend" and if you want to remain faithful to your boyfriend in the LDR, then going out on what the other fellow sees as a date would not be a good idea.

Long distance relationships are difficult. I would know. My girlfriend and I are seperated by the entire freaking Atlantic Ocean... And I have never taken the offer to go out on a "date" because the same rules apply if she lives one town over, or two thousand miles away. If it would be wrong to go out with this "friend" if your guy was living in the same city as you, then it would be wrong from ANY distance....

Just my oppinion, take it or leave it.

[TheWomanMonster]

I'm in a long long distance relationship myself.
Like Wolfie there, that whole damn thing made of salty tears keeps us apart.
And we under NO circumstances put ourselves in situations that would cause jealousy or hurt on either end. Friendships are all well and good, but if you do go out for a get together with this other fella make sure he knows that you're JUST his friend.
And if that's not what you want... well... it's up to you.

[imapepper]

I think it's time to make or break your LDR as much as you might hate doing it. When it comes to invested feelings there's no way around it, you can't have your cake and eat it too with human emotion; someone somewhere along the line is going to get really hurt, mutual agreements or not.

Maybe if you want to see other people the love you feel you have for your boyfriend isn't very strong, or maybe it isn't of the romantic variety. Then again that is my personal bias, I believe you can like a lot of people, sleep with a lot of people, have fun with a lot of people, but I don't think being in love is something that can happen more than once, or at the very least, not simultaneously. I think when you're in love you'll do everything in your power to be with the person and definitely don't have room in your heart for dedication to anyone else. Call me old fashioned though.

That aside, having an open relationship can be tricky, and having a long distance open relationship is basically more complicated. I suppose I personally don't see the point in hanging onto a LDR that doesn't seem to be leading anywhere, if anything by dating others you're just creating more seperation so, you really need to figure out which side of the fence you want to be on. Being a fence sitter guarantees someone is going to fall down and get some really nasty bruises.

[Luna Moon 1]

The thing is that Michael has never once cheated on me, never once accepted an invitation to dinner and a movie with another woman. I told him that he could date other women based on the events that were occuring in other family memebers personal lives - as I always do. I thought that I was protecting myself from getting hurt. Either way, someone gets hurt. Thanks for all of your advise.