Cakes 'n' Ale (non alcoholic?)

[Lunacie]

I took over as leader for our little eclectic group a couple of months ago, and have had several questions occur to me since then.

We do Cakes 'n' Ale and usually have wine in our chalice. We don't sit around the fire after the pot luck dinner and drink ourselves silly, we just have wine for our Cakes 'n' Ale. Now we have 4 folks who are interested in joining our group and one cannot drink alcohol. At Litha I had made a bottle of soft mead, non-alcoholic, so this new person was able to take part in the ritual with us.

But I am wondering, if we go ahead and invite these folks to join our group, what are we to do in the future? Should we have two chalices - one with wine and one with juice? Should we just have one chalice with wine and have that person skip taking a drink?

[Ivyrose]

We have a reformed alcoholic in our group so I usually have two chalices, one with wine or mead and one with apple juice (which is also usually greatfully received by any designated drivers too!)

[Lunacie]

That's definately one reason we don't sit around drinking all evening, we all have quite a drive to get home at the end of the evening, driving on busy highways with bright headlights and lots of traffic... doesn't mix well with being blitzed.

So, how do you handle it when you do the symbolic Great Rite with the athame and the chalice? Do you pass both chalices around the circle saying "May you never thirst?"

And thanks for sharing your own experience. :)

[Rhisiart]

I dont see the problem with having 2 chalices, though if your tradition is for all to share of the same chalice this would decrease the symbology, I'd think. We usually use a juice or non-alcoholic drink, then have wine later if we choose. Since the Ale usually represents the fruit of the vine, I dont see where it has to be alcoholic in nature, though thats just moi.

[Vigdisdotter]

I'm a heathen who can't hold her alcohol at ALL. A couple sips and I'm loopy! :P

So I appreciate the non-alcoholic. Two challises can work very well. Another option is just make circle non-alcoholic and those who want to have something harder afterwards can do so.

Or if eh symbolism of the alcohol is important to your trad, then keep it and tell the person that this is way you do things. Not every group is suitable for every person. Some people will get pissing being told that one, but that's their issue to deal with. Your group comes first, so do what is best for the group.

[Lunacie]

Thanks for a non-alcoholic perspective.
Two chalices seems... cumbersome, to me.
I think I probably should ask this person how she really feels about having alcohol for that part of the ritual.
Maybe it doesn't bother her that everyone else drinks.
Maybe she would feel too left out. I should ask her.

[Astara Seague]

I have two in my group that dont drink either..I make homemade honey mead.. and the one I use for ritual is the non alcholic.. that or white grape juice
of course when they arent with us we use the real thing
two chalices is to much for me.. I have enough to do:hahugh:
but afterwards for grounding.. we all share the cakes and ale/mead..well except them
they drink whatever
I think it makes them feel better not being singled out

[~Elise~]

If the chalice doesn't contain alcohol--then it isn't communal in our circle and we use individual dixie cups.

Don't want germies being shared.

Those that don't drink--just kiss the chalice and raise it when it contain alcohol.


Elise

[Myrr]

Holding the chalice and bowing to what it represents will suffice.

[Cat]

Kissing the chalice is one option. Filling it with juice is another. Yes, that raises the germs issue. I was always okay with that. If one of us knew we were getting sick we just didn't drink. The other option we used was nonalcoholic beer.

I'd suggest having a group discussion and seeign what everyone wants to do.

[Ivy Artemisia]

Those that don't drink--just kiss the chalice and raise it when it contain alcohol.

I hadn't heard that before. That’s a nice idea. I've done the 2 chalice technique, but it can get cumbersome in a very small group, as usually, we just pass around the chalice. I was in a medium sized group (10-15 or so) and the HPS would walk the inside of the circle and offer the chalices to each person. This can take awhile, so it seems like that wouldn't work well in a big group. But it worked really nicely with the 10-15 member group. It seemed very ceremonial. No one in my current circle has an aversion to alcohol, so we usually use wine. But in our open circles, we usually do the dixie cup thing, depending on the circle, and its always cider or juice.

[Lorrie]

Just a little idea from one who is allergic to alcohol, there is sparkling grape juice that has a little carbonation, and looks like a wine bottle that is really awesome. This doesn't do much about the multiple chalice thing, just a suggestion for anyone having to deal with this type of thing. my daughters in-laws sent some over to my house once for a new years eve gift, they had just seen it int he store and thought of me, I have used it ever since.

[Lunacie]

My first group was very small and one person didn't want to have alcoholic stuff in the chalice so we usually used the sparkling grape juice. It's okay, but I like feeling "grownup" and having real wine in the chalice. Since there is only the one person in the group who may be joining us who can't drink alcohol, she could bring her own small chalice and grape juice or whatever she can have, or just do the salute instead of sipping.

I've appreciated all the posts.