when was it first "real" to you?

[Sequoia]

When was the first time Magick seemed real to you? When did you begin to belive? If you do belive, that is. What was the first thing you witnessed that convinced you it was real, or if you've simply always known (from your parents or such), what do you think was your first real realization of it?
:)

[Phoenix Blue]

Quoth Puma Hime:
When was the first time Magick seemed real to you?
Probably the first time I met my science fiction characters in a dream. . . **smiles**


When did you begin to belive? If you do belive, that is.
It was not long after that, let me tell you--because I'd also been seeing the same name creep into my sci-fi, completely unintended. I later adopted the name as my Spirit-name.


What was the first thing you witnessed that convinced you it was real, or if you've simply always known (from your parents or such), what do you think was your first real realization of it? :)
**Ponders** I think one of the most amazing demonstrations of its reality was the one or two times I've seen cloudfronts sweep over the sky out of nowhere. . . and the one time that I asked nature to hold back its torrential rainfall until I got to work (I was on a bicycle at the time), which She obliged.

[Haedis]

Well I've always known that its real. I've been practicing witchcraft for a few years and have almost always worked magick successfully.

But the first time I was totally taken aback by the power magick was when I did a spell to help my friend who had been bed-ridden with a disease that was basically shutting down her organs. She had been hanging on for many months but no matter what she just kept getting worse. The intent of the spell was to allow her condition to improve, whether that meant she would begin to get better or that she would pass away to end her suffering (providing it was her time). A few days after that she died.

[Myst]

Looking back I think it was when I did my first spell. It was the night before my dad was having a single bypass and I did a really simple healing spell (blue candle, blue pouch with healing herbs, etc.). The next day the doctors found they could do a triple (they could fix 3 instead of 1) and he healed surprisingly well and fast even though other health complications he had would've probably made him heal slower.

[Flaire-FireStar]

Originally posted by Puma Hime
When was the first time Magick seemed real to you?

Probably my second spell...My first one was a flop. :rolleyes:


When did you begin to belive? If you do belive, that is.

Hmmm..... I'm not sure, actually.


What was the first thing you witnessed that convinced you it was real, or if you've simply always known (from your parents or such), what do you think was your first real realization of it?

When I started to notice the beauty of the world I live in, and being able to see over the problems that go on around here.

[Eudaimonia]

I don't know! 'we' played around with it for a while, but didn't really do anything. I think that I've always beleived in magic and the like. My mum showed me how to use medican cards and guided meditation when I was 5 (never failed!). I've also always been a big fantasy reader, so it has been in the back of my head for some time. I think that the final blow (knocked down the wall of resistance) was when I met cyprian (again). You wouldn't believe the energy!

[AradiaSupernova]

when was it first real..hm..

well..I'd been studying the books and websites my sisters had been studying with at first but I never really caught onto it..until a mole on my right knee started turning purple and getting a ring of blood around it on the inside. It hurt like hell...and my parents were pretty sure that it looked like skin cancer (heaven forbid I can spell that other word). That went for about a week and the pain was absolutely HORRIBLE...and in my sister's book that she had bought..there was an "owie fix" spell. Its was just a simple little chant..and I figured "what the heck" and did it. The pain stopped and all that..and when I woke up the next morning..the mole was completely gone. The only reminence(sp?) of it now is a little scar on my knee. :) Thats when magick really really became real for me :)

[Storm]

The whole reason I am on this path. When I was 16 I had my heart stomped on by an evil boy. I didn't know better and I hurt and I cursed him. I cursed him to be ugly, and impotent and I think alone as well. Well I saw him a year later and he was fat and pimply. I didn't ask if he was impotent. Well years later I felt really guilty. I sat down and meditated. I thought the curse off and I got the distinct feeling that an invisible force was lashing out at me, I deserved that I guess. I feel that I was successful in removing it though I have not seen him. Well, that was a long time ago but more recently I have a love and we cannot be together as a couple but I can't let him go. I recieved a free love spell that I altered. I didn't need to make him love me and I wouldn't want to but I wanted him in my life just the same. I think he was mad and I hadn't seen him in awhile. Well I made the spell a binding to my life (no lectures alright) and before I finished cleaning up he was at my door. Another time after we made acknowledgements to our feelings I hadn't been able to see him and I wanted desperately to talk to him and let him know I was thinking of him. I was sitting outside at night and I saw him come home. He didn't see me or he would have come over (I hope). Anyway. I was upset. I ran up to my alter and lit the candles. I couldn't even make a prayer..just a prayer I was going to do...but all I could do was cry wishing there was some way to get a message to him. As I lay there crying the phone rang. I answered and it was his friend who has never called me..who I didn't know even had my number, who claimed he didn't even know how he managed to call me and that he meant to call someone else. At any rate, I was able to get a message out that I was thinking about him and missed him and hoped he was well.

[Flar's Freyja]

During my self-dedication/initiation.......I never felt such power and energy running through every cell of my being......

And I believe even more every time something wonderful and unexpected manifests in my life:)

[Emy]

Puma Hime, your question has really made me wonder... And I can't seem to find and answer, I don't know when it was first real to me, so I guess it has always been real to me?! But, I think maybe I wasn't always so aware of it. I think that somewhere in my teens I got to a point where I started to put words to thease things and therefor I could say that it was first real since that time, but I also feel that it wasn't in anyway unreal to me before that, it was just as real, only on a more unconcious level... :) So therefor I say that I have always believed, but the last ten years ('boy am I getting older!!!! ten years ago I was 17... ) I have been able to sort of define, and put words to thease things, at least to myself...

However the power and connection that I feel today, seems stronger than the one I had ten years ago, but it was there even when I was four aswell...

:)

[Lauralu]

I guess it was "real" to me when I began to notice the world around me a little differently than before. Everything was more beautiful, even gray skies in their own desolate kind of way. I have more patience with people than I used to and stressful situations don't seem as stressful any more. It's like the world is calmer since I've been delving into Wicca and paganism. i haven't really done any magick...I just like to read and meditate for the time being. :)

[Melysande]

When was the first time Magick seemed real to you? When did you begin to belive? If you do belive, that is. What was the first thing you witnessed that convinced you it was real, or if you've simply always known (from your parents or such), what do you think was your first real realization of it?

I'm not sure. I remember when I was little and had just barely learned to read, I went shopping with my mom and found a book of garden spells. And it just looked so simple. My mom made me put back the book on the premise that "God doesn't approve of things like that." But I still thought about the book because it was just a bunch of little rhymes to say that would make your garden grow better.

I remember being in first grade and pretending to make soup in a pumpkin. But I'd include imaginary magickal ingredients along with the more mundane food items.

I remember the first song I learned that year was Black Cat. "Black cat, black cat / Looking for a witch. / All a-round the night is dark as pitch. / You can see me 'cause your eyes are green. / Black cat, black cat, / This is Halloween."

I remember daydreaming in classes while looking out the window, and I always fancied that when I blew, the wind would make the trees move. I also thought that if I concentrated really hard, the rain would get harder or the sun would shine brighter, and that when I relaxed, the rain would let up or the clouds would dim the sunlight.

I used to leave flowers and pretty rocks in special places as "gifts", but I never quite knew who I was leaving the gifts for.

I used to sprinkle imaginary magickal sleeping dust on my brother to make him fall asleep and have peaceful dreams. (This was back when he was an infant and I was only seven, so we shared a bedroom.)

And I've always relied on wishcraft and prayer. When I was little, I went for a ride with my aunt and her boyfriend (back before she decided to acknowledge that she was a lesbian) and we drove through some Massachusetts farmland so I could see the horsies. Well, we patted a couple really nice horses, and then we were about to leave. We had to back up before we could turn the car around to go back home, but before we did, I said, "I bet there's a white horse up that driveway." My aunt and her boyfriend smiled and said they didn't think so. And what was in the driveway? A white horse getting it's picture taken for something.

Weird stuff like that happens even now. My most recent thing was where I wished for an office flood. Never, EVER do this. (Don't say I didn't warn you.)

Whenever I use magick, I fully expect it to work. And it always does. But somehow, every time it does, I still feel the same sense of wonder that Wow, it actually worked.

[Azure]

Well, I told my mom, rather proudly, that I was a witch with magic powers when I was two - and insisted that it wasn't make believe.

We moved to Greece when I was three, and I spent my formative years, way back in the seventies, running around assorted temples all over Greece. there was never any question - ever, that the Pagan part was real.

[WandererInGray]

Probably always, though a lot of it got sucked out of me by the mundane world until I found myself again. My first spell was a complete flop. But it didn't stop me from believing.

And I don't even think I can list the numerous things that have happened this past year and half. Every single on of them is another reminder that magick does exist.

*grins* The most recent was a properity spell I did, and then mentioned something about it to my roommate later in the week and she laughed and said she'd been selling things like crazy all week long.

*shrugs* I suppose it's just such a part of my life I don't even think about, like breathing.

[cherrywind]

The first time I actually sat down and meditated. I felt an extreme rush of energy through me... almost like I could hear the very earth whispering inside my head. I had never felt anything that strong in my life.

[Jasmine Star]

I was in the computer room in the library (like I am now) I was searching religions because I felt something was missing in my life I knew it was religion but I wasn't happy with mine. I found Wicca and as I read the beliefs (so like my own) a feeling of peace came over me. I had been suffering from depression for years but since finding Wicca I have come off my anti- depressants and stopped councilling. I'm happy for every little thing in my life not worrying about every little mistake.
I've only done a few simple spells so far but they have worked in ways I can't believe.

[Sora]

When did it first become real to me. Sheesh, that's a thought provoking one. I honestly don’t remember is specifics. When I had first dedicated myself to paganism, all I did was believe. Simple meditations and prayers, that sort of stuff. It was only at the start of last year I tried my hand at formal spells, and I never found any reason to doubt my path. There have been no ker-BOOMs in my life that have led me to believe in magick. I just… do.

[Emerald Oak]

Okay, this is gonna be long...

I guess it all started when I was in Kindergarten. Back then, you have a supreme imagination, and EVERYTHIGN is possible. For me and a friend of mine, it was the ability to control wind. We would stand outside during recess and say something like, "Slow, wind." The wind would actually slow down. This wasn't imagination, it actually happened. The same goes for when we said "Go, wind." It would speed up.

As the years passed, those thoughts kind of melted away, but the seeds were still planted in the back of my mind. I gradually shunned Christianity, and eventually realized it wasn't my religion a few years back. So, I started searching for a new truth.

I remember needing money about this time, and talking to my Wiccan friend about it. She suggested a money spell, which I never actually performed, but I was still interested. After that little topic was over, she went on about how great Wicca was, and mentioned that she was practicing telekinesis. That sounded like a neat idea.

At ninth grade graduation (in this town, Jr High ends at ninth grade), we all went the lake. While sitting on the grass, I remembered what my friend said about moving things with your mind, so I pulled a wadded up five dollar bill out of my pocket, let it rest in my palm, and began concentrating. My eyes were closed, but I knew there was no one around me, and the wind was totally dead, but the bill just suddenly twitched in my hand. It surprised me, but I wasn't freaked out. I wasn't Wicca yet, either.

Since then, I started observing new things... Like strange visions (not hallucinations, but flashes of color out of the corner of my eye, and even a ghost one night), sounds, colors, everything. The urge finally hit me to look up Wicca.

So, I went online and started my research. I was amazed. It was like someone had pulled my ethics and beliefs straight from my head and placed it on a web page. I asked one of my co-workers what his thoughts on Wicca was, and he flashed his Pentacle (and explained it, since I didn't know what it was). He became my teacher.

Finally, I was having very painful chronic toothaches, and one day it became simply unbearable. So, I collapsed to the ground, and winced out the words, "Whatever divine force is up there, please rid me of this pain, and I'll plant a tree for you!" I don't know where those words came from, but my tooth ache suddenly stopped, and its been fine since then.

Oh, and I still haven't planted that tree :-D I'm STILL getting hit with the negative energy, I think.

[Danustouch]

Hmmmmm...When was it first undeniably real to me? Well...I started by doing alot of reading, and was pretty convinced by what I read because it rung a chord in me. It seemed to just "fit" and feel right.

My first ritual, was a ritual of protection, because a really psycho girl was interferring in my relationship. Not only that, but she was stalking ME to get to my boyfriend. Basically, she wanted to get me out of the way, so she could have him. So she was doing a bunch of psychotic mind games on me, as well as having her little gangsta thug buddies follow me around. I did a very impromptu ritual, even before I had a designated altar, and tools, Just with a few stones, some herbs which I burned, and a representation of the trouble maker. Poof...she was soon after sent to a mental hospital by her parents. That was pretty convincing.

After that...the next ritual i did pretty much sealed it for me. It was a healing ritual for a friend of mine. Two hours after my ritual ended, his fever broke (he'd been running a 103 temp for three days, and was starting to hallucinate), and the next day, his congestian in his chest broke up enough that he could start coughing it up, and after a small dose of antibiotics, was completely cured.

What really made the God and Goddess real to me, though, was my first mass Imbolg ritual. There were 13 people present, and I was the guest highpriestess for the circle. I had written a chant, to be used at the drum circle portion. The room was heavily drenched in incense smoke, and many candles were burning, and almost everyone in the circle had some instrument they were using for drumming (drums, tambourines, bells, etc). And when I started the chant, I really started to feel the energy mount and rise. That had never happened before in quite that way. I'd never been to that large of a circle, nor that "loud" of a drum circle. It felt like I was floating (not really..but..you know what I mean. I had that hazy unconnected feeling). My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I really did feel the energy of that circle. That's when I was utterly and irretrevably convinced about the power of magick. And the presence of the devine. This is something I had never experienced in any other way...

[qidrogreevat]

Heh, I began to believe probably more than a year ago, though I didn't follow it at all. It was more something that 'other' people did.

Now I'm ONE of those 'other' people :D, though, strangely enough, I've never performed a spell, never had any divine presence felt, nothing, besides feeling energy being drawn up through me when I concentrate on it.

But despite all that I just know that it's real. It's as real as the wind and rain to me, in a different way though.

[Emaleth]

There wasn't one specific event that made me BELIEVE. It came really gradually. When I first started out, the ideas and beliefs of Paganism appealed to me very much, they were something that I believed was true all my life. But it was more theory than actual, deep religious experience and connection to the Goddess.

But later, when I read more about the religion, I started to pray to the Lady and REALLY felt that she was with me, she was listening and she cared about me.

A couple of months ago I went through a hard time and I felt that then was the time when I could either turn from my path or dedicate myself completely. Fortunately, the whole experience strenghtened my faith and now I'm sure of my choice and my path.

My rituals aren't perfect, I'm still in a broom closet and doing everything in hiding bothers me much, but I have faith and pray to the Gods for patience, cause I know that once I'll be able to worship my God and Goddess openly and just the way I feel is right.

Blessed Be

[HeatherN]

Well, I'm still searching myself. I started researching Paganism about five months ago. Something just clicked inside me, like I'd found my home. It just made sense.

I've been attending a coven study group for the past month, and they invited me to their Mabon feast. At one point in the evening, we all stepped outside to witness the full moon. There I was, standing atop this small hill, the moonlight coming through a grove of trees and it was something I will never forget. I can't even really explain it. There I was, basking in Her full glory...I nearly fell to my kness with the sublimeness of it.

I'm still taking things pretty slow, learning and reading. About a week ago, I did a little private circle and meditation ritual...my hands hardly stopped tingling, especially when I cast the circle.

And I think my being here tells you how real I think it is...LOL

[Sequoia]

:)

[Pan]

Originally posted by Puma Hime
When was the first time Magick seemed real to you? When did you begin to belive? If you do belive, that is. What was the first thing you witnessed that convinced you it was real, or if you've simply always known (from your parents or such), what do you think was your first real realization of it?
:)

The first time Magick seemed real to me was when I was walking through a metaphysical store. I was looking around and I just felt something in the air. Hubby was with me and so was his mother. He'd always been talking to me about paganism, though not being mean or forceful about it. The way his mother and her friends would do ritual and talk to things I couldn't see always seemed interesting to me. I wanted to belong.. so I went with them when they went to the metaphysical store to pick out something for hubby.. she bought me my first book and I've been hooked ever since.

I began to believe while I was reading that book.. seeing things that had happened to me but I could never explain them. I've always believed in Faeries.. so that helped me a lot. :)

My first real realisation of magick was when I saw the spirit of a stone that was supposed to help me with my jealous streak. I still have the stone today, still have the image of the spirit that lives in it. And she still helps me a lot.

That's about it... but hubby and the things I do now always reaffirm to me the belief that magick is real.

[Tranquility]

I think 2 incidents made me first believe in... well i don't know if magic would be the term but it made me believe in the goddess more...
the first time wasn't much, it was pouring very hard and i was freezing, i was actually just biking home from a spot where i liked to create things at ( at this time a wand). On the way home, the wind and the rain was too intense, so i sat under an oak tree, and i tried to talk to it. Now at that time i wasn't too skilled, so i was pretty skeptical about the outcome, but i did anyway, i asked that if the tree would please provide us shelter and that the storm would soon stop. A few minutes later the storm stopped, and i tried to thank the tree and left.
The second incident im glad i survived from. We used to have a 100+ foot willow tree in our back yard, i think in '97. It was the biggest storm in years and my brother and i were collecting fallen branches from the tree for a fort. We were walking under the tree, and i could feel a wierd sensation, just to look at the willow tree. I took a look over and peered all the way up, i felt some sort of wierd energy pass through me and i said that we should hurry to my brother. We walked around for a little longer, ,and then stopped because of this strong current that just passed through me, and i just had to stop. I told my brother something was wrong and we began to walk back. I looked back and started to hear creaking and the tree began to fall right above us. We ran for our lives and made it out with our lives, thank the god/dess *praises*

[stevie]

Well, about age 11, I started having dreams of snakes. They frighted me at first, but they did guide me. I started to believe in Magick aroung 20, when I was deep in depression, sitting in the woods by a brook looking for answers, crying out to no one. However, the wind blowing in my hair and a mist falling around me seem to understand. It maid me think of all the times Dad took me camping. I realized, I had always felt at home in the woods. I found strength in that and found a reason to carry on.

[Derry]

It all became clear to me one fall evening when the moon was so bright and full. I had always secretly believed in Paganism, but kept quiet as my family is devout Baptists and Catholics. I had always read historical items about the ways of the ancient and had even read an article about the true meaning of halloween. Then I was suddenly overwhelmed with the question, " Is it real? Should I explore this side of religion? Is the Mother Goddess really there?" That night I went on a long walk completely alone, no hubby, no dog. It was in the month of October. The moon was a deep yellow, almost orange. At a point, I actually felt like a mother figure was watching over me. As I stared at the moon I soon realized why the ancients so loved their religion. It just feels right. It feels so right when you can look at the moon and know, there is something there. That night I felt like I had my answer. She was telling me that she was there and she was real. That was magickal to me. That's when I believed.

[Sequoia]

That is so beautiful. . . *soft smile*

[Xentor]

That was the first time I healed someone.

Our group had been practicing energy and chakra manipulation, using a five elements system (earth, water, fire, wind, and emptyness) to invoke the needed states of mind and body, had been practicing aura reading. We had been doing that for over a year and I thought I'd never get it working.

Then I was at a party, where a close relative hurt his knee so bad he couldn't walk. Being almost as stubborn as me, he sat down in an empty room and refused to join us. So I joined him.

I sat opposite to him, across the room, and started channeling energy, from my heart to his. Thus, I managed to partially cleanse his energy field and relieve the pain. From that moment I knew this was real. I just hadn't called it "magick" yet.

[Lunacie]

I think I've always believed in magic, or at least wanted to. The first time I experienced magic was when a jealous former girlfriend of my fiance got her circle to help cast a spell on me. It made me so sick, so quickly. It really scared me away from the whole thing for many years. About a dozen years ago in desperation I asked my now-ex to teach me to cast a shield for myself. It was awesome being able to manipulate the energy myself. Very cool. And even better, as I was finishing, the Goddess appeared to me to say "Well done, welcome home dearling." I still get a rosy glow remembering.

[Sylv]

My first realization of deity, like Derry's, came from the moon. I was reading Cunningham's Wicca For the Solitary Practioner and my atheist side was asking if any of it could be true. So I got up and went outside. There was a full moon, and I sat down facing it and asked if there was a goddess. I began to feel the moonlight shining on me, then it was like I could see these silver designs being painted on my skin by the moonlight. The designs felt cool on my skin, and made me feel so beautiful. Then She came into my mind: I could feel Her going through my experiences, my thoughts, my self. And then I felt her smile, and she said, "I exist, and I love you." It was amazing.
As to realizing that magick was real, it's actually a funny story. I had decided to try casting a circle (my intro to paganism was Wicca) but I was so nervous that I completely botched calling the elements, and didn't bother opening the circle-I felt like such a failure. :o It was about 4 or 5 in the morning, and I went out on the deck to read and just relax-well, when I had calmed down I went to go in and discovered that the door was locked. It is a sliding glass door, and there is no way it could have been 'accidently' locked: it takes a lot of force to lock/unlock the door. No one else in my family was awake, and I would have seen them come to the door (I was sitting right by it). So I sat out there for about an hour, tried it again: still locked. I ended up having to bang on the door until my dad woke up and let me in. As soon I as realized the door was locked, I knew that it was the elements, spirits, etc. showing me how my circle had felt. :o I learned my lesson, and never did half a circle again, lol. :D

[Knight]

My first magickal experience occurred years before I actually started looking in earnest. I was driving home at night. I was waiting to make a left turn across a divided highway (Route 40 for those of you near here). I got the green turn arrow, and started forward, when suddenly, my foot moved back to the brake pedal. It was like in driving school when the instructor pushes the brake for you, only it was my foot. I sat for a second, puzzled, and thought, "That's stupid. Why did I do that?" At that moment a police car blew through the intersection against the lights: no siren, no flashing lights, no headlights! If I had proceeded, I'd have been broadsided at sixty miles an hour (that's about 100 kph!).

I knew I hadn't seen anything, and my "what the...?" reaction tells me I wasn't consciously stopping. Someone was looking out for me. Since then I've had enough wierd experiences to prove to myself that these things are real.

[Partly Cloudy]

When I was about ten, it was raining one day and I was playing this piece which was quite complicated (for me at that stage,anyway) and I wanted to know if I could make the rain stop. The better I played, the softer it became, as though it was listening to me. It was really special, but I didn't really think about it that much afterwards. Also, later when I heard about Wicca and started to get interested and look up stuff about it, I did my first spell/ritual. Frankly, it was pretty abysmal but somewhere in there I got the faintest inkling of what a better ritual should feel like and it was like a spark that had been sitting in me had caught alight. I started reading whatever I could find and gradually I realised that this was the right way for me.
Later than that, I recognised the feeling when I was singing in the school Chorale. We were singing this song called 'song of the earth' and I really loved it. We'd got it to this perfect point and when we sang it that time, everything just fell into place. I could feel the energy that was created by it rushing through me and it was the most amazing thing I'd ever felt.

[*NeraViolet*]

Did I already sign here? I suppose I tried without a success.. Well, a new try.

In the summer 2001 my grandpa was driving me home from the countryside where I had been visiting my friend. Back then I didn't know much about Wicca, I had just heard about it... I was kinda interested in it but I hadn't done anything about it... I remember thinking of if there really was a Goddess (I had used to being a Christian...) and stuff. Well, when we were driving, it was raining and I was looking out of the window. All I saw was trees and trees and a little more trees in the rain. Then suddenly, the sun came in and a beautiful rainbow appeared to the sky. It was beautiful and remained in my mind for a long time. I had this beautiful and peaceful feeling, it was incredible.

It took about a year after that before I really started considering myself a Wiccan but I don't know if that would have ever happened without that.

[Lucid]

It was always real to as a child . I did "don't see me " spells ( maybe not spells..chants ) to sneak out of boring family get togethers and play outside. I usually knew when teachers were going to call on me and stuff like that . I always wanted to order the big book of witchcraft advertised in the back of my mom's true story magazine . But I was not allowed to do that .
As I grew up I seemed to forget about it . Found some books in my early 20s . Enjoyed reading them . Did a spell that worked but almost cost me my job (becareful what you ask for).
Started practicing with groups...nothing . I was very upset about this . How could something that felt so true not work ect., Then started to realize I work better alone and that there is nothing wrong with that .
So I guess its really 2 answers as a child and now .

[Annyka]

I started ot realise it was real to me when I first started predicting deaths and births... I then started to make things happen. It scared me and I shut myself off from it for about 2 to 3 years...

It is soooo hard to get it back now :(

Annyka

[Pingmao]

I have believed in magic for many years, since I was 12 or 13. I started reading Piers Anthonys Xanth series, and that hooked me. My only problem now is that I have these unconscious doubts in my ability to perform magic, which really bugs me.