my "grandmother"

[*ULA*]

Around Christmastime, I received a letter from my grandmother. My mother's mother, actually. A woman who abused/neglected my mother and who sent my mother off to live with someone else.
I have never seen this woman - didn't know if she was dead or alive.
So you can see how shocked I was to receive this letter. She wrote that now I am old enough to decide for myself whether or not to communicate with her. She says she loves me, and wants me to write her.
I've been trying to decide what to do!
She must be in her late seventies now and at first I thought it was just an old biddy christian woman's last stab at getting into heaven.
Perhaps she has changed..? I don't know.
I don't know whether or not to write her and say hello at least, or just to pretend I never got the letter and continue going about my business.

Any advice?

Always aprpeciated!

Bright Blessings,
Ula

[Earth Walker]

Yes, you should write her a letter, and later, maybe
invite her to visit with you.
I went through similar with my mother, and it was only
in the last 2-1/2 years that we reconciled, and I am
very happy that we did. :sunny:
Let us know how it works out for you sweetie.
We love you and our support is behind you. :heartthro



Only my cat understands me. :D

[belladonna23]

My mother's father (my grandfather, I guess) abused her, sent her to a foster home with her sisters after her mother died (until he found a replacement), and always cut her down. He never tried to establish any relationship with me, either. I feel like I missed out, even if I didn't.
I think you should give it a shot, but be cautious, there is a potential for being very disappointed.
If you were to form some sort of relationship with your grandmother, it wouldn't alienate or hurt your mother, would it? I would take that into consideration as well. If you and your mother are close, you wouldn't want to jeopardize that, for someone you've never even met.

[sherry]

If it were me I'd write to her and see why she feels it is important at this time to contact you!! I'd be affraid to wait due to her age you may not get this chance again!!

But thats just me!!

[*ULA*]

thank you all.. i think i was secretly hoping this would be the response - i am very curious.

and my mother is okay with it all - she's healed, and says if i want to speak to her mother then i have every right to. it wouldn't bother her.

thank you again.

this board has come to mean alot to me - in terms of advice, support, lovey dovey feelings:).. i feel like i can always post and receive loving intelligent replies..
you all have come to mean alot to me - have a beautiful, beautiful night!!

*ULA*

[Fawn]

Why not follow your heart? And why is it wrong for a woman to change after years? It is not--why is it necessary to know her motives behind her writing you? Just accept it and if you wish contact her if not then don't. But personally I would be intrigued to meet this woman and hear her side of things. There are two sides to everry story.

[rantnraven]

I worked in the Elderly Care industy for a couple of years - mind you as an MSI manager but I was friend with all of the RN's and NP's that dealt with them daily.

There comes a time when guilt sets in. Be it true guilt or, manifested. Perhaps she wishes to make ammends. However, watch how this might affect the relationship between you and you mother. Very volital there.

Go with your heart but be prepared.

RnR