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View Full Version : My MIL grr! (Rant)



DreamSpell333
August 16th, 2007, 12:13 PM
:rant: :rant:


I am so sick of my mother in law ! I was going to have her bring
the kids and i to the airport next month when we move to NH, but
my friend is off that day and told me she could bring us.
My MIL had told me she would do it,but it would be hard for her. I
figured it would be easier if she just came to the house before we leave. It would also make it easier on me as I really despise her lately and I want my trip to be good and positive. I dont need anymore stress than I already have..
I know I have to work on making ammends,but a this point there is still ALOT of anger in me towards her. I have so far been really civil with her because of the kids but inside it's a whole different story.

She took it as I wasnt going to let her see her grandkids,which is not the case and I explained that to her. She told me that she was not happy about us leaving (that too I understand),but then she said..
" If I didnt know the other Grand Parents I wouldnt let you leave and would fight you on it" which made me mad.

I told her I have no one here to visit,and no outlet and she told me that was my husbands fault!! I told her she doesnt invite us to events or even to her house and then she said that wasnt true that she has taken hannah alot.. YES hannah,but not vincent and she has YET to invite us
to her house for ANYTHING. She brought hannah to the house for a cookout and birthday party for her fiances grand daughter. She
never told us or invited us and we were hurt by that. When she moved out she said that she would have us over for dinner a couple times a month. That has YET to happen. Just another promise she's broken.. There is more to the story that im not getting into.

She doesnt care about how we feel,as she always turns it around and makes it about her. She did that with Olivia too.

She said to me before we both hung up "I hope that he is HAPPY" (my dh)

I cant wait to be out of here and away from her and her negativity.
I used to like her and we got along,but now I dont really feel anything for her and I dont feel sorry for her when she plays her "poor me" routine.
DH said he's had to deal with her his entire life. She used to beat him with spoons and also allowed his stepdad to hit him. He even
pushed arthur down while he was in the shower once.

Sorry for the rant, but I needed somewhere to vent and I didnt want to burden my husband as he has enough on his mind now as it is. ( i think I feel better now)

HUGS


DS

Flux
August 16th, 2007, 01:28 PM
Just some :hugz:

Flux
August 16th, 2007, 01:29 PM
Just some :hugz:

ladyalpha
August 16th, 2007, 01:36 PM
*A huge hug* I understand and relate to a lot of what you wrote. My mother hates my husband because he moved us years ago away from her. Now we are back around her but because I can't afford to see her every day, it is his fault. She told my brother, while he was on the road working, that I go to the town she is living in every day but never come to see her. I hadn't been to the town in about 2 months.
Anything and everything is wrong if my husband says it or does it..even if someone else did or said the same thing and they were right. He is never good enough, etc. We blow her off and unfortunally once I had to kick her out of my home due to her disrepect of him. He hates her just as much, not that I can really blame him. I wouldn't be biting at the bit to visit someone that treated me like that. But, sometimes it does make it seem like being stuck in the middle of it all.
I don't know if your Mother-In-Law is the same as my mom, in the sense of if your asked how your doing..she will butt in with how she is doing. But, if she does..I feel your pain. It is annoying to deal with people like that. Especially if they are the types that nothing can ever be good enough. A million dollars raining down on them would be complained about because there wasn't a bag to put it in.

A lot of it I think is a control issue. These type of personalities have to control everything and everyone. If all else fails use this line: "It must be hard living your life and everyone elses at the same time." I have stopped a couple of controlling women in my family dead in their tracks with that one. It doesn't change them..but for a second they realize that they are really pushing things on others.

Hopefully, with the move and distance you two can at least get some kind of peace between you. At the very least, you won't have to deal with her all the time. That will help you and your husband tremendously in the stress department.
I do find it very sad that she will take one of your children but not the other. Unless she has a medical reason for not being able to take a child so young, there really isn't any excuse imo. But, as you know, that is her loss and only she can take responsibility for that.
I think it is important to vent, if venting calms you down. Keeping all that anger and stress inside raises blood pressure, harms the heart and the vessels in the brain. So vent away hon and be healthy. :)
Blessings to you and your family..and keep in mind, the move is coming real soon so things will be better all the way around soon,
ladyalpha

DreamSpell333
August 16th, 2007, 02:13 PM
*A huge hug* I understand and relate to a lot of what you wrote. My mother hates my husband because he moved us years ago away from her. Now we are back around her but because I can't afford to see her every day, it is his fault. She told my brother, while he was on the road working, that I go to the town she is living in every day but never come to see her. I hadn't been to the town in about 2 months.
Anything and everything is wrong if my husband says it or does it..even if someone else did or said the same thing and they were right. He is never good enough, etc. We blow her off and unfortunally once I had to kick her out of my home due to her disrepect of him. He hates her just as much, not that I can really blame him. I wouldn't be biting at the bit to visit someone that treated me like that. But, sometimes it does make it seem like being stuck in the middle of it all.
I don't know if your Mother-In-Law is the same as my mom, in the sense of if your asked how your doing..she will butt in with how she is doing. But, if she does..I feel your pain. It is annoying to deal with people like that. Especially if they are the types that nothing can ever be good enough. A million dollars raining down on them would be complained about because there wasn't a bag to put it in.

A lot of it I think is a control issue. These type of personalities have to control everything and everyone. If all else fails use this line: "It must be hard living your life and everyone elses at the same time." I have stopped a couple of controlling women in my family dead in their tracks with that one. It doesn't change them..but for a second they realize that they are really pushing things on others.

Hopefully, with the move and distance you two can at least get some kind of peace between you. At the very least, you won't have to deal with her all the time. That will help you and your husband tremendously in the stress department.
I do find it very sad that she will take one of your children but not the other. Unless she has a medical reason for not being able to take a child so young, there really isn't any excuse imo. But, as you know, that is her loss and only she can take responsibility for that.
I think it is important to vent, if venting calms you down. Keeping all that anger and stress inside raises blood pressure, harms the heart and the vessels in the brain. So vent away hon and be healthy. :)
Blessings to you and your family..and keep in mind, the move is coming real soon so things will be better all the way around soon,
ladyalpha


Thanks ladyalpha! :hugz:

Yes,she is like that. EVERYTHING has to be about her, She has to have the last word.
When I lost Olivia instead of consoling me or being to listen to me,she made it about her. She balled and said if she had died that past november from her heart attack (she had stents put in) that olivia would have lived.

After the baby was born mom lost her job,and I offered to go back to work full time if she wanted to watch the kids. ( I was trying to fix our money issues). She
ignored me and talked about losing her job and how eventually she would get sick of being home and would probably want to go back to work. She didnt even acknowledge my suggestion..

My husband was in the hospital the end of febuary/beginning of march and I was talking to her about how stressed I was about everything happening so close together. (birth of the baby,my husband in the hospital,etc).
She didnt say ANYTHING and changed the subject. I even said it again to see
if she would say something then,but i got no response.
It was so heart breaking because with my mom being 1200 plus miles away,I was hoping she could be there for us and I felt we just got the backside of her hand.

Yup. only a month away from the move and we both cant wait! :) I'm alittle nervous about going back to work as I've been home since hannah was a year old. Im trying to figure out what I can work ,as my mom is going to watch the kids part time. I am
also happy to be going back to work,so I can have sometime to myself. I hate being cooped up at home .

DreamSpell333
August 16th, 2007, 02:14 PM
Just some :hugz:

Thanks! :hugz: :hugz:

ladyalpha
August 16th, 2007, 02:24 PM
Good luck with going back to work. I'm sure you will do great no matter what line you get into. I haven't worked outside the house for so long..and for longer than a couple of months at a time it has been over 10 years. My actual work experience lines me up to ask..Would you like fries with that?..LOL
But, I agree working even part time really helps with getting that adult time. A person can go insane if all they do is interact with children all day long. Kids can be great but for the most part they aren't the best conversationalists. lol And most other adults understand that need to be alone when it comes around.

It really sounds like you have a very supportive family and that is wonderful. I'm sure Hannah is just as excited to move and be in such a positive family environment.

DreamSpell333
August 16th, 2007, 02:25 PM
Good luck with going back to work. I'm sure you will do great no matter what line you get into. I haven't worked outside the house for so long..and for longer than a couple of months at a time it has been over 10 years. My actual work experience lines me up to ask..Would you like fries with that?..LOL
But, I agree working even part time really helps with getting that adult time. A person can go insane if all they do is interact with children all day long. Kids can be great but for the most part they aren't the best conversationalists. lol And most other adults understand that need to be alone when it comes around.

It really sounds like you have a very supportive family and that is wonderful. I'm sure Hannah is just as excited to move and be in such a positive family environment.

yup. :) Hannah will be going to kindergarden in october too! :D So she's VERY excited.
Has been telling grandma about it hehe.

aluokaloo
August 16th, 2007, 02:43 PM
:hugz:

wolfjan1
August 16th, 2007, 03:07 PM
Ok, you got that out, and you REALLY needed to do that.
See, some people enjoy misery, and if you won't joint them, they will manipulate you until you do. So, as soon as you get past the security gates at the airport, take a big deep breath and just let it out slowly. Get the children an unsweetened(NO SUGAR) drink and a small bite to eat(you can carry the snacks, but I don't know about the liquid.) Give them their coloring books or whatever toy you bring along that will occupy them on the flight. Then sit back, close your eyes, and breathe again.
The parting will be hard, because you and your children and husband need to heal.
Upon getting to wherever you will be, have a grounding, centering and shielding ritual. :fpompoms :hugz: :thumbsup: :huddle: :ringaroun
May you have a happy and well behaved flight and a happy new home with people that love and support you,
wj

DreamSpell333
August 16th, 2007, 04:05 PM
Ok, you got that out, and you REALLY needed to do that.
See, some people enjoy misery, and if you won't joint them, they will manipulate you until you do. So, as soon as you get past the security gates at the airport, take a big deep breath and just let it out slowly. Get the children an unsweetened(NO SUGAR) drink and a small bite to eat(you can carry the snacks, but I don't know about the liquid.) Give them their coloring books or whatever toy you bring along that will occupy them on the flight. Then sit back, close your eyes, and breathe again.
The parting will be hard, because you and your children and husband need to heal.
Upon getting to wherever you will be, have a grounding, centering and shielding ritual. :fpompoms :hugz: :thumbsup: :huddle: :ringaroun
May you have a happy and well behaved flight and a happy new home with people that love and support you,
wj

Thanks! :) :hugz:

I know I will be a whole new person once were out of here. I'm looking forward to it.