Funniest things

[rantnraven]

When I first got out of the Army, I worked in security - you ever look at the end of a grocery aisle and see a window thingy high on he wall? - well that was me.

I was sitting up there one day and this couple with two children were moving up the aisle toward me. One child was in the cart and the other was strapped to the mothers frontside.

When people look up and down the aisle repeatedly, you become suspicious and that's what the man was doing.

But he wasn't stealing - well not products anyway. Instead,he would look up and down then start feeling up his wife. Up the blouse, down the pants :eek: - he was all over her. She made no attempt to stop this nonsense but, instead, moved and adjusted to accommodate him: all the while continuing her shopping without expression.

What some people think they are getting away with...:D

When they arrived at the end of the aisle, just below the window, I tapped on the glass with my badge. He turn 10 shades of red and she continued shopping.

Don't know if he touched her after that but I'll bet he didn't.

[ruthie]

I can't decide whether this is one of those "ah" stories, where you think, "oh they couldn't wait to get home"
or whether it's one of those "ew" stories where you think, "ew, they couldn't wait til they get home".

Whichever, it brought a smile to my face on a cold, very sunny morning. Cheers.

[sherry]

That was so great You caught him!! LOL

I love to people watch they do the most amazing things!

I'll bet you saw alot from that perch in the ceiling, HUH??

I worked in the bakery section for a time at our local grocery, and a young man desided to put 2 bottles of wine down his pants. When I asked him to please take them out of there. He told me that, in lack for better words, was his body he was born that way!!
Now please I am small town but that made even me laugh histerically! The police even tried to explain to him that on a good day, no man is shaped like a wine bottle and if he didn't stop putting chilled items in his shorts he would never know this for sure!!

When I see this young man to this day he turns 5 shades of red and goes the other way!!

[Mariposa De La Luna]

ROTFLMAO!! 8O
I needed that today.

My husband has a tendancy to feel me up at times, not under my clothes. I can't stop him without causing a scene so I just ignore him. The last thing I want to do is encourage him. On the bright side, he hasn't done it since I've had the baby. I'm very ticklish and he doesn't want to make me jump while I hold him.

[SahuaDjet]

Now I wonder all the crazy stuff I have done at the store.... :> not as bad as getting nookie right in the middle of trying to buy dinner! eheheheheh oh so funny!

Sahu Djet

[MystyPines]

That is too funny! When I was dating my husband, he took me to a nice restaurant. After dinner, he slipped off his shoe and thought he had his foot in my crotch. He started telling about what he was doing and he was really getting into it, but I did not understand, because when I looked down I saw a foot with sock rubbing the leather chair next to me, I just blurted out laughing, too funny. :)

[Fawn]

Those are priceless!!