Becoming Spiritual

[Fireheart]

...I think this is probably my first thread since I joined. I'm always really intimidated by new forums lol.

Anyway, I come from a Baptist background, and lost my faith about 2 years ago. I regained some semblance of faith a little while ago, but I really have nothing to base it on past the fact it makes more sense to me that there's something beyond...this. I do have this sense that I could belong in paganism. Thinking back, past that thrill I got from singing praise songs when I was 11 and that sense of belonging finally, I never really felt...spiritual. I've never had any special experiences, past getting prayers answered, and that could just be coincidence.

I guess I think of myself as spiritually dead. I don't know how to awaken that part of myself, if it even exists. Thanks for any advice yall can give me.

[Cassie]

I think that simply by posting here and asking the kind of question at the start of this thread proves that you are not spiritually dead. Personally I think actively searching for spiritual meaning in life is a sign of being very spiritually alive.

I am not trying to be glib. It may well be that you don't feel particularly spiritually alive at the moment but there are several things that might help overcome that feeling. One thing is being part of a community that shares your core belief or at least is searching in the same direction. You will hopefully feel that more and more here at MW, but if you could become part of an active group in your area that would give you a spiritual boost.

The second thing is reading. When you find Pagan writers who are saying the kind of things you have always felt, it certainly gives your spirit a lift.

Last, but certainly not least, I am sure that prayer and meditation (in whichever way feels comfortable to you) will help to strengthen your connection to the spiritual aspects of life and the world around you.

[Lemon]

About a year ago I lost all my spirituality. I was first diagnosed with a mental illness, become suicidal, ended up in a hospital, and was on and off tons of pills. About 6 months ago I started to return to religion. It first started by researching my beliefs, and learning as much as I could. Recently I started praying again, and I really feel like that helped. When I started to doubt my religion, I would read about other religions. When I realized that nothing else fit, I become more positive towards my own beliefs. I hope this helped a bit.

[LadyCelt]

I don't think spirituality dies. I think it changes directions. I think its good to research what you're drawn to and why when you change from what you're used to.

[Nocturna]

I think I get where you’re coming from. You have the urge to spirituality, but you’re troubled that you haven’t had any of the spectacular experiences some people describe (like visions or ecstatic communion)? Is that what you meant?

For those of us who don’t naturally have a great deal of spiritual awareness (I’m one of them), I think it’s a matter of learning to listen for whispers rather than waiting for the Divine to shout. My best advice is to cultivate a regular meditative practice. Start out with trying to clear your mind. Focus on something simple, like a candle flame or your own breath. When you can do that, start trying to expand your awareness. Just be aware of everything around you—like little sounds, the feeling of your clothes, smells, etc., but don’t try to analyze it. Just experience. This will help you calm down your mental “noise” and help you be more receptive to subtle cues.

Like I said, I’m not naturally aware myself. It took me a long time to sense anything at all, and my experiences still pale in comparison to some of the things I’ve heard. I try not to get discouraged about that and to stick to my practice, knowing that I’m developing at my own pace.

Hope that helps, and good luck!

[Nitefalle]

Also, remember that while you are on this journey, in order to have meaningful experiences you must stay true to yourself. It is so easy to jump on a path's bandwagon and say "Yes, this is a package deal, this one path will have all the answers and I can just sit back and relax and ignore those few things that bother me or I don't agree with". If something doesn't make sense, you don't agree with it or it just seems *wrong*, listen to yourself. Find out why you feel that way and go with it. You don't have to follow 100% of a path to count yourself among its followers. Take your time and let yourself take each experience as it comes.

[Fireheart]

Thanks for all the advice and encouragement...yall made me think :)


I think I get where you’re coming from. You have the urge to spirituality, but you’re troubled that you haven’t had any of the spectacular experiences some people describe (like visions or ecstatic communion)? Is that what you meant?

Something like that, yeah. Plus, in Christianity (and I hang out with Christians a lot) it seems like everyone talks about "loving god" a lot. I never felt that...and I never felt any sort of connection to the divine, or desire to worship it. I do want that, but I'm very earth-bound...:)

[Windsmith]

...it seems like everyone talks about "loving god" a lot. I never felt that...and I never felt any sort of connection to the divine, or desire to worship it. I do want that, but I'm very earth-bound...:)I direct your attention (as I am wont to do) to the Non-Theist and Pantheist sections of the Paths forum (http://mysticwicks.com/forumdisplay.php?f=86). You might find some ideas and practices there that will be of use to you - from people who don't exactly believe in deities, and other who don't believe in deity at all. If nothing else, you may read something there that lets you further hone your understanding of what you're seeking.

[catgrrl]

I direct your attention (as I am wont to do) to the Non-Theist and Pantheist sections of the Paths forum (http://mysticwicks.com/forumdisplay.php?f=86). You might find some ideas and practices there that will be of use to you - from people who don't exactly believe in deities, and other who don't believe in deity at all. If nothing else, you may read something there that lets you further hone your understanding of what you're seeking.

I started out feeling the same way. I could feel very connected to nature, but the thought of feeling "close to God" and "loving God" just didn't jibe with me. I felt better out in nature, on the side of the mountian or watching a sunrise than I ever had in a church. I had a lot of experience with "Christians" who used the label to look down on "the world". I had a huge problem with that. I didn't want to limit myself in growing spiritually and I felt that most of the "Christians" that I associated with didn't know or care that they were limiting themselves. Which is their choice, of course, but it gave them no right to impose that, or try to impose that on me. It took me many years to get to the point where I could feel comfortable exploring other possibilities.

I was raised Church of Christ, which some people say is a cult, for the first 15 years of my life and forced to go to church three times a week. Then I moved to my dad's. He is much more open minded than my mom is. He told me that he didn't care where I went to church, or even if I went. He told me that until I could drive, he would take me whereever I deciced I wanted to go. So for about a year, I didn't go anywhere. Long story short, I went to a Baptist church for about three years before stopping going all together.

During that time, first I felt fine, then I started wondering. I started feeling like "So I'm not Church of Christ or Baptist Christian, those don't feel right, but what does?" I thought I had to be something, b/c I'd been something all my life. I felt bereft in a way. But on the other hand, I felt incredibly liberated b/c I knew I didn't have to be anything. Yet on the other hand, I felt kind of like I'd turned away from Christianity and stepped off a spirtitual ledge and what the heck is out there?

About three years ago I started reading the Beverly Lewis amish fiction books. I didn't know much about the Amish and I thought that was a way to learn about a new culture. Little did I know it would lead ultimately to what I am today. After many months of reading all the books that she had out at that time and reading the ones that were coming out during the time, I kind of went "what now?" I took the Belief O Matic quiz and somehow started researching Unitarian Universalism, which is pretty much an open minded path. For months I read info on that church, sermons online, message board posts (I think), etc. There wasn't a church in my area, so I couldn't attend a service, but still I learned a lot. Learning about UU's opened my mind to paganism. Or more accurately re-opened my mind. I had been curious as child about the Greek gods.

To conclude this already too long post, I'll say this. I recently read "The Circle Within" by Dianne Sylvan and one quote stood out to me. It goes something like this, "God had pretty much ignored me my whole life and here was the Goddess, Her arms open and her eyes dancing with delight at the thought of welcoming Her wayward daughter." I can't find the exact passage, so if I messed up a couple of words, sorry.

I am still sort of wavering on wether gods and goddesses are literal beings, so to speak and I have not dedicated myself to one or more, but I am very open to the idea and that quote just made me feel good.

I hope all this helps. If I can be of further help, feel free to PM me.

Good luck!:wave:

I also meant to tell you, I know what you mean about feeling "spiritually dead". You don't feel like you did before "this isn't right", but you also don't feel "full", satisfied. I felt like that before I realized that "pagan" was the word for how I thought, so to speak.

[Fireheart]

Windsmith, thank you :) I've been reading the Pantheist forum avidly...I may have to check out the Non Theist board as well.

Catgrrl...that quote you gave me from that book brought a tear to my eye. lol. And yeah, that's kinda how I feel..."pagan is the word for how I thought." Your descriptions sound a lot like how I've felt...thank you for sharing them :)

[Russ]

If your trying to build a spiritual life my friend the only advice I can give you really is to pray, meditate and do ritual often.

If possible every day. Wish I could give more and better advice.

[Veritas]

...I
I come from a Baptist background, and lost my faith about 2 years ago. I regained some semblance of faith a little while ago, but I really have nothing to base it on past the fact it makes more sense to me that there's something beyond...this. I do have this sense that I could belong in paganism. Thinking back, past that thrill I got from singing praise songs when I was 11 and that sense of belonging finally, I never really felt...spiritual. I've never had any special experiences, past getting prayers answered, and that could just be coincidence.

I guess I think of myself as spiritually dead. I don't know how to awaken that part of myself, if it even exists. Thanks for any advice yall can give me.


i, personally can not tell anyone how or what to do. the best advice i can give you is to simply throw everything away. don't think------ just feel. it seems that your definition of spirituality isn't really yours. what i'm trying to say is: you, yourself need to define spirituality for you. throw away the books, throw away the opinions of others, throw away the subconscious manipulations of society and what THEY think you should be. i noticed that you don't feel the same things as your friends, but, you know, your not them, exactly as you should be.......so undefine yourself and you will find yourself and don't look for it.

[Windsmith]

don't think------ just feel.I must respectfully disagree with this advice. I believe with all my being that in order for a religion to be a good fit for a seeker and vice versa, it must resonate with that seeker's emotions, passions, body, and mind. To leave out the mind and "just feel" is every bit as dangerous as living completely in head space and never checking in on what your intuition and integrity are telling you. Don't throw out any part of you - make sure they're all happy, and you'll have found the spiritual path that's right for you.


it seems that your definition of spirituality isn't really yours. what i'm trying to say is: you, yourself need to define spirituality for you. throw away the books, throw away the opinions of others, throw away the subconscious manipulations of society and what THEY think you should be. i noticed that you don't feel the same things as your friends, but, you know, your not them, exactly as you should be.......so undefine yourself and you will find yourself and don't look for it.Now this is good advice!

[Shanti]

I must respectfully disagree with this advice. I believe with all my being that in order for a religion to be a good fit for a seeker and vice versa, it must resonate with that seeker's emotions, passions, body, and mind. To leave out the mind and "just feel" is every bit as dangerous as living completely in head space and never checking in on what your intuition and integrity are telling you. Don't throw out any part of you - make sure they're all happy, and you'll have found the spiritual path that's right for you.

Now this is good advice!

What Veritas was meaning, I believe, by 'dont think, feel' was basically the sum of his whole post.
Feel where your spirituality lays. Ones spirituality should come first from the heart, from self. The rest is a build upon that foundation that comes from your feelings of your own truths.

* Oh Vertas is my mate. I was with him when he posted and we talked about his post. :)