How much more can I take??

[RayneStorm]

Is this a way of telling me something?? I dont know how much more of this I can take!! First he cheats on me, then he lies to me about it (repeatedly), not to mention ALL the bills that keep coming up. New ones even!! Did I choose poorly or what?! Ignoring it WONT make anything go away yet that's just what he did and now I'm the one getting screwed here!! Things are in MY name because he owes and now I owe too. His stuff no less! How much more am I supposed to take?????? I cant handle this. Things are WAY out of control. Before I hooked up with him all I had was my visa and now there's sooooo much more from waaaaay back in his past that's creaping up. We have a 3 month old kid, pets and we need hot water!!!!! There's no way of paying what they're asking before the end of the month but that stupid "woman" with absolutely NO people skills whatsoever doesnt get that!!! The meter being busted is NOT our fault. We didnt know. We're renters not owners.
I'm angry with him for being so incredibly stupid in the past and letting bills pile up that WE now have to pay. I'm angry with myself for letting this happen, for not knowing what I was getting myself into, for TRUSTING him and BELIEVING him. What did I do in this life or past that I deserve this?????????? And yet I'm not mad at him. I love him. I feel sooooooo helpless. I have things yet I feel like I have nothing. I'm not about to do anything drastic but still I cant help but think "the sweet peaceful sleep of death".
Overwhelmed doesnt even begin to describe what I'm feeling at this moment right now!!
Gods and Goddesses, Higher Powers that Be, please start looking favourably in my direction. I'm desprate. I need some sort of release.

[Artiste-LiLi]

[quote=RayneStorm;3230652].................., not to mention ALL the bills that keep coming up. New ones even!! Ignoring it WONT make anything go away yet that's just what he did and now I'm the one getting screwed here!! Things are in MY name because he owes and now I owe too. His stuff no less! Before I hooked up with him all I had was my visa and now there's sooooo much more from waaaaay back in his past that's creaping up. We have a 3 month old kid, pets and we need hot water!!!!! ".........

1) You have a child to care for...You MUST do whatever you can (within the bounds of being safe and legal) to care for and support this child...EVEN IF it means you having to move in with family members (parents, sister, brother, aunt, whomever you can). Start looking at what you *DO* have and what of it you can do without...whatever you can do without....SELL. That will get you *some* cash in.

You two need..no HAVE...to sit down and get a realisitc look at your finances..how much coming in verses how much going out and where can you cut expenses. CUT TO THE BONE where expenses are concerned. Save every penny you possibly can....if it is a choice of you or him doing without or the child doing without...you all do without, not the child.


"There's no way of paying what they're asking before the end of the month but that stupid "woman" with absolutely NO people skills whatsoever doesnt get that!!! The meter being busted is NOT our fault. We didnt know. We're renters not owners. "

2) Talk to all the people you owe and try to work out a deal with them. As for the "stupid woman"...go over her head...ask for her supervisor and talk to them..if that doesn't work, ask for THAT person's supervisor and talk to them. Don't give up...keep "climbing the food chain" until you get to someone who CAN help you out. If possible...go there *in person* and talk to them; it is much easier to tell someone "no" over the phone than it is in person. As for the busted meter....get it in writing from your landlord that the meter is busted..the *landlord* and the water company are supposed to be responsible for the condition of the equipment...you are only responsible for paying the bill for WHAT YOU USE.


"I'm angry with him for being so incredibly stupid in the past and letting bills pile up that WE now have to pay. I'm angry with myself for letting this happen, for not knowing what I was getting myself into, for TRUSTING him and BELIEVING him."

3) The past is the past...can't do a damned thing to change it or make it other than what it is..."done bun can't be undone." Deal with the NOW. Start looking for realistic ways to work your way out of this. Is he even concerned or trying to help "fix" this? If not...he better start NOW.

"What did I do in this life or past that I deserve this??????????""

4) This is nonsense....this is not "payback"......this is life. Besides, doesn't matter now. What matters NOW is that you start finding ways to "fix" it and that you *learn* how to NOT LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN. If that means taking a class in home budgeting and finance...then DO IT.

"I'm not about to do anything drastic but still I cant help but think "the sweet peaceful sleep of death". "

5) This worries me more than anything else you've said. Even though you said you aren't "about to do anything drastic"...the simple fact that you have even THOUGHT about "the sweet peaceful sleep of death", is NOT GOOD. You NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE......a professional. I'm SERIOUS HERE. Find a free counselling service in your area, speak with your spiritual leader(s)/advisor(s), call "Ask a Nurse" or a hotline, if nothing else....but TALK TO SOMEONE about getting some help. Once you have done that....find a free financial counselling service and get them to help you. Call the Department of Social Services and ask them for help finding these people to help you....that is what they are there for!


Now I'm sure you're wanting to know just what in the name of heck makes *me* think I can talk to *you* like this......

I HAVE been exactly where you are now with the exception that I have no children. I made it out...and so can you. Hang in there, chin up....you CAN make it. You have that baby to look out for and take care of.....be strong for your child, and do what you must do, if for no other reason.

Blessings to you and light, love and energy coming your way.