Rayne's Place of Peace

[RayneStorm]

He's trying but I'm unable, most days, to forget and forgive. I keep asking myself why he did this for so many years but I'm never going to get the true answer, not from me or from him. I'm not even sure if he knows exactly why. I would like this to be over in the sense that it never happened but of course that cant happen.
It's hard. I keep making myself relive it over and over wanting to dull the pain and sometimes that works. Other times it just makes me angry all over again.
There's nothing new or at least I hope there's nothing new. I look but dont find.
Why did this happen and why did it happen for so long?? I'll never know.
I know that it hasnt even been a month yet but I just want it to go away. I know also that it never will.

[RayneStorm]

Talking is good. Even if it's only to vent. It's a way to let go and that's what I'm trying to do. I know that every time I bring it up to him it hurts him. But it hurts me too and I'm the one who was wronged, not him. I feel bad that it hurts him, I dont want to hurt him but at the same time I need to talk about it. Even if it's something that we already talked about. If I need to go over it again then that's just what I'm gonna do and if that hurts him well.... sorry. I cant help that. I'm trying to help me.
I k now he understands why I'm doing this and so he sits there and listens. Which is good. I dont necessarily need feedback. I just need him to know what's going on with me now. Hopefully this will help in the healing process.

[RayneStorm]

I ask for patience. I feel like I'm losing it sometimes and I need some sort of good luck or something to come my/our way.
I ask for good fortune and prosperity. Bills Bills Bills. They're never ending! Everyone wants money and they all want it now.
I ask for wisdom. What can I do to make this whole situation a little easier for us?

[RayneStorm]

I ask for help in releasing the resentment I have. I dont want it anymore. I dont need it. It holds me back. I want to be able to move forward.
I'm tired. I've got too many things on my plate at once and I ask for help in dealing with everything, for the patience I need to deal with everything. Sometimes it's so overwhelming that all I want to do is crawl into a hole or a cave and just hybernate for awhile, sleep.
Why does it seem like all the good fortune happens to others? I know this probly isnt true for the most part. Lots of good things have happened to me it's just..... I dont know.... Things are REALLY tough right now and I need some help dealing with it, some good luck or something.
Prosperity come my way
Bills need to be paid today
Food on the table
Clothes on us all
Prosperity heading my way

[RayneStorm]

Well, after everything that has gone on in the past year (not to mention the past couple of months!) we finally made it to our first wedding anniversay! So far so good. This Thursday though maybe a little tough though because I have to once again spend the night at my parents place leaving my husband alone which makes me nervous for obvious reasons! I'll prbly take his 'puter with me though so that'll be some relief.
I ask for help in dealing with that and I give thanks for the help in making it to a year!

[RayneStorm]

I feel crappy and overwhelmed and hop on the net to take a break and get my mind off of shite and no matter where I go or what I say I seem to just go unnoticed. Maybe it's just me because I do feel like crap. I dont know.
I need energy, good positive energy and just dont know how to get it anymore....
I mean I even ruined the Kraft dinner I was making... Come on, how do you ruin Kraft dinner???

[RayneStorm]

I ask You, will it get any better? I dont know how much more of this I can take! It's so dismal right now and I can barely see my way through ....
I need some help and I dont know how to get it. Please, I ask for Your help, Your guidence and some positive energies! Help me help my family!

[RayneStorm]

Goddess give me the strength to cope with the everyday things!
Bill paying
Baby crying
Housework
Pets
Husband
Friends
Family
Myself
Grant me peace and serenity, love and happiness, strength and endurance, wisdom and knowledge

[RayneStorm]

Lately I've just been feeling like I'm floating around and not in one particular place. I feel like I need to find my place but I'm unsure how to do this. I dont know what path I'm on nor do I know which path to take.

I ask for Your wisdom and guidance.

Who am I? Where am I going and where do I need to be?

Everything just seems so cluttered and confusing right now and I dont know how to break free and find myself.

I am grateful for all You have given me!