Tec...

[lizea]

Alright, this kind of coincides with the Losing Faith thread, but it is almost the opposite... My sisters are really Christian, and around here we have this thing called TEC, Teens Encounter Christ. I used to be a Christian but then kind of lost it, which I seem to do with every strong feeling I ever have about anything. Anyways, TEC is like a retreat weekend kind of and my sisters went through together in February last year, and now they work them together sometimes. There is one coming up in November, and Erin was talking to me about going through. She filled out my application, and I think I am going to go through. But I am afraid I will lose all the confidence in the world that I have found with Paganism... I don't know how to describe it. I have always tried to be really open and to look into other religions, but this time I am afraid that my whole world is going to collapse in on me... Anyways... has anyone else had a fear like this before? It is terrifying to me... what should I do?

[SweetIsTheTruth]

what should I do?

Don't go.

[Mesektet]

Alright, this kind of coincides with the Losing Faith thread, but it is almost the opposite... My sisters are really Christian, and around here we have this thing called TEC, Teens Encounter Christ. I used to be a Christian but then kind of lost it, which I seem to do with every strong feeling I ever have about anything. Anyways, TEC is like a retreat weekend kind of and my sisters went through together in February last year, and now they work them together sometimes. There is one coming up in November, and Erin was talking to me about going through. She filled out my application, and I think I am going to go through. But I am afraid I will lose all the confidence in the world that I have found with Paganism... I don't know how to describe it. I have always tried to be really open and to look into other religions, but this time I am afraid that my whole world is going to collapse in on me... Anyways... has anyone else had a fear like this before? It is terrifying to me... what should I do?

Don't go, and if you do end up going, just treat everything from an analytical, academic viewpoint. This is what I would do when my parents would sign me up for things like this when I was younger.

[Novembers River]

I think you should go. Experiencing this will help you grow into who you really are. Evaluate what you see and hear while there and honestly think about how you feel about it all.

I was raised a Catholic but left the church many years ago. I hadn't been to a mass in years when my grandmother died. At first I was nervous about attending her funeral because there would be a mass to begin with. Would the mass sway my beliefs? Was I really the pagan I thought I was?

All was fine. Going really helped solidify my views and beliefs. I felt freed after going to that mass. I knew I didn't belong there and felt more at peace with my beliefs.

[Brigid Rowan]

Well, what do -you- think you should do? On one hand, spending time learning about other religions can be a good thing, on the other, if you feel false, and like you'll be uncomfortable...then maybe its a bad environment for you.

[Windsmith]

I would say stay away. I don't know much about TEC, but I know a lot of other similar groups, and some of the tactics they use to try to convert people are subtle and sneaky in a lot of ways. Being open to looking at other religions is an admirable trait, but going off on a weekend retreat with a lot of other Christians - including your own sisters - is going to cut you off from all your support systems. And it has nothing to do with the strength of your belief in Paganism; some of the things they might try are specifically designed to overcome even the strongest of faiths and the most rational of analyses.

Like I said, I don't know much about TEC; maybe they're not like that at all. But why risk doing something in the heat of the moment that you'll regret Monday morning?

[lizea]

I really am torn though... Everyone I have ever talked to that went through said it was really fun, but I don't know how to approach it... I think I am going to send in my application, and go through, and see how it goes... wish me luck I guess...

[Brigid Rowan]

I do wish you luck, dear, and remember, if at any point it feels wrong to be there, just leave.

[teishabee]

Do what you feel you want. I would say dont let anyone peer pressure you out of your beliefs but sometimes like Windsmith said this isnt always so easy.

Personally I would go with an open mind but I would not comment on my current beliefs. That way if the environment does sway you you know its only because of that and not some group trying to force you to change your current faith.

[BlackLili]

I would say go, be with your age-mates, and enjoy the time you get to bond with your sisters. Good luck, and remember - you don't need to take anything away from the experience you don't want.

Beannachtai,
BlackLili

[Novembers River]

remember, if at any point it feels wrong to be there, just leave.

Wonderful and sound advice.

Good luck!

[cheddarsox]

If your beliefs are based on truth, and what you know and have experienced, this retreat won't change them. If this retreat has truth and spiritual growth to offer you, you won't be hurt by it.

Even if you ended up finding out Christianity was the path for you, that would be a good thing right?

I don't know about this particular program. If you feel that this is being set up as some kind of specific intervention targeted at changing your beliefs, then you might want to shy away, but if it is just a fun retreat for teens, then it might very well help you sort out some things about yourself and your faith...no matter what that is.

I recently went to a women's retreat at a Pentacostal church and had a lot of fun and was very spiritually moved, but it didn't cause me to question my pantheistic faith or anything. Take what serves you and leave the rest.
Ask others who have been to these, check out the website, etc, and then make your decision.

cheddar

[wolf]

Cheddarsox said pretty much what I would have, only much more eloquently.

[lizea]

If your beliefs are based on truth, and what you know and have experienced, this retreat won't change them. If this retreat has truth and spiritual growth to offer you, you won't be hurt by it.

Even if you ended up finding out Christianity was the path for you, that would be a good thing right?

I don't know about this particular program. If you feel that this is being set up as some kind of specific intervention targeted at changing your beliefs, then you might want to shy away, but if it is just a fun retreat for teens, then it might very well help you sort out some things about yourself and your faith...no matter what that is.

I recently went to a women's retreat at a Pentacostal church and had a lot of fun and was very spiritually moved, but it didn't cause me to question my pantheistic faith or anything. Take what serves you and leave the rest.
Ask others who have been to these, check out the website, etc, and then make your decision.

cheddar
Yea that is true, but facing that might even possibly be the case is really scary... I don't know why, but it is...

Yea no, it isn't... the sister that asked me to go doesn't even know I am a Pantheist... it is really just... I don't know how to describe it... but it's like # 54 or something like that... I don't remember...

I'm really nervous... but I am going to go, and make the most of it... and just hope that whatever I find out isn't too heart breaking... thanks so much for everyone's advice.

[Sethserpenthus]

Personally if I'd been invited to a Christian retreat I'd go, but I have an academic and social interest in other religions. If you don't want to go, don't go simply because your sister wants you to.

[aluokaloo]

I would say stay away. I don't know much about TEC, but I know a lot of other similar groups, and some of the tactics they use to try to convert people are subtle and sneaky in a lot of ways. Being open to looking at other religions is an admirable trait, but going off on a weekend retreat with a lot of other Christians - including your own sisters - is going to cut you off from all your support systems. And it has nothing to do with the strength of your belief in Paganism; some of the things they might try are specifically designed to overcome even the strongest of faiths and the most rational of analyses.

Like I said, I don't know much about TEC; maybe they're not like that at all. But why risk doing something in the heat of the moment that you'll regret Monday morning?

i don't know i went to a christian camp when i was younger and other then christian oriented games, bible verses and the like, it was like any camp would be, complete with swimming, arts and crafts, smores, hiking, nature walks, talent night, and the delightful delicacies of mess hall food.:smileroll I had a great time! anyways to answer your question, why don't you meditate on it and ask yourself if this would be right for you to do. best of luck with your decision.

[cheddarsox]

Yea that is true, but facing that might even possibly be the case is really scary... I don't know why, but it is...

Yea no, it isn't... the sister that asked me to go doesn't even know I am a Pantheist... it is really just... I don't know how to describe it... but it's like # 54 or something like that... I don't remember...

I'm really nervous... but I am going to go, and make the most of it... and just hope that whatever I find out isn't too heart breaking... thanks so much for everyone's advice.

I do understand your fear. I've been through a conversion experience, and it is scary, losing something that is such a personal and important part of one's life is one of life's most challenging events.

There is a whole internal upheaval, mourning, second guessing, etc.

If you are that scared, before you get into anything...maybe explore some of your faith issues on your own, or with people who share or support your faith. Maybe there are some doubts that are behind the fear. Maybe you are just not ready to take the chance right now. Like someone who just came out of a bad relationship, you may be in a "healing" mode, and not in a place to deal with being challenged.

Only you can answer that for yourself.

I just had a vision of a person who just went through their boat sinking. They have finally found and grabbed hold of a life saver and is hanging on, catching their breath and strength. The see a huge ship heading their way...they realize that the ship might create such a huge wake that it might slosh water over their head and make them lose hold of their lifesaver...on the other hand, it is also possible that someone on the ship might see them struggling in the water and pull them up. But the shipwrecked person doesn't know what the outcome will be...are the folks on the ship friend or foe. Are their chances better swimming for shore alone, or catching a ride on a friendly dolphin?

All I can say is that you have a "family" here that will help you through this. I think that you are really wise to be asking these questions and thinking about all of this. And even though it is scary, I think that you can and will be OK either way, you are NOT alone.

[earthsong]

I would say go, be with your age-mates, and enjoy the time you get to bond with your sisters. Good luck, and remember - you don't need to take anything away from the experience you don't want.

Beannachtai,
BlackLili

This is very sound advice. Do what feels right to you, not what everyone else says is right for you.

[lizea]

I do understand your fear. I've been through a conversion experience, and it is scary, losing something that is such a personal and important part of one's life is one of life's most challenging events.

There is a whole internal upheaval, mourning, second guessing, etc.

If you are that scared, before you get into anything...maybe explore some of your faith issues on your own, or with people who share or support your faith. Maybe there are some doubts that are behind the fear. Maybe you are just not ready to take the chance right now. Like someone who just came out of a bad relationship, you may be in a "healing" mode, and not in a place to deal with being challenged.

Only you can answer that for yourself.

I just had a vision of a person who just went through their boat sinking. They have finally found and grabbed hold of a life saver and is hanging on, catching their breath and strength. The see a huge ship heading their way...they realize that the ship might create such a huge wake that it might slosh water over their head and make them lose hold of their lifesaver...on the other hand, it is also possible that someone on the ship might see them struggling in the water and pull them up. But the shipwrecked person doesn't know what the outcome will be...are the folks on the ship friend or foe. Are their chances better swimming for shore alone, or catching a ride on a friendly dolphin?

All I can say is that you have a "family" here that will help you through this. I think that you are really wise to be asking these questions and thinking about all of this. And even though it is scary, I think that you can and will be OK either way, you are NOT alone.
Wow... oddly enough, this is not the only time I have been compared to a drowning person today, and it seems to be the theme of the week around me... I want a dolphin... someone go get me a dolphin before I drown!

And yes, I get the bad break up analogy too... it seems like me and religion have had a string of bad breakups in the past couple of years, and I am about ready to be done with it... I thought I was finally done, but then my sister asked me the innocent question of if I wanted to go to TEC... and something in me tells me that I really need to go and see where it leads me... Anyways, that dolphin sure would be helpful any time now...

In all seriousness though, my mom doesn't really want me to go... and neither does my shrink. They think it will be too intense. My shrink is one of three people that know I am a Pantheist. But yea, she is saying that given my past and knowing how I react to stress and stuff like that, she thinks it would be too intense and stressful to me even if I was already a Christian going into it... because it is like intense and there are lots of testimonies and stuff like that... I don't know...

My step mom wants me to go, and so do my sisters (well, the two that are going to be there... the other is adament [sp?] that I don't go...) I don't know... there are so many people that are telling me different things, even within my own family. My best friend (that knows I am a Pantheist and is one herself) told me that if I went she will go as my support system so I don't totally lose it... I don't know... I am going to meditate on it tonight, and hope for an answer soon...

[Fiamma]

Wow... oddly enough, this is not the only time I have been compared to a drowning person today, and it seems to be the theme of the week around me... I want a dolphin... someone go get me a dolphin before I drown!

And yes, I get the bad break up analogy too... it seems like me and religion have had a string of bad breakups in the past couple of years, and I am about ready to be done with it... I thought I was finally done, but then my sister asked me the innocent question of if I wanted to go to TEC... and something in me tells me that I really need to go and see where it leads me... Anyways, that dolphin sure would be helpful any time now...

In all seriousness though, my mom doesn't really want me to go... and neither does my shrink. They think it will be too intense. My shrink is one of three people that know I am a Pantheist. But yea, she is saying that given my past and knowing how I react to stress and stuff like that, she thinks it would be too intense and stressful to me even if I was already a Christian going into it... because it is like intense and there are lots of testimonies and stuff like that... I don't know...

My step mom wants me to go, and so do my sisters (well, the two that are going to be there... the other is adament [sp?] that I don't go...) I don't know... there are so many people that are telling me different things, even within my own family. My best friend (that knows I am a Pantheist and is one herself) told me that if I went she will go as my support system so I don't totally lose it... I don't know... I am going to meditate on it tonight, and hope for an answer soon...


Up until this post, my first thought was that going could be a good experience for you- learning about other religions is never a bad thing, it could be a lot of fun, and could even help you to better understand why you don't jive with the Christian religion.

The possibility of finding out that you don't really believe what you think you do is scary- but this won't be the only time in your life that you have to face such things, so personally, I don't think it's a good idea to avoid it for that reason.

However, if this is a truly potentially unhealthy situation for you, and a mental health professional is advising against it at this time, perhaps it's not the best time to force such a situation upon yourself- it's one thing to be thrown into it unexpectedly, but to willingly walk into it when you know you're extremely vulnerable and may be affected adversely by it.

At the very least, give it very careful consideration, you may have a very good experience, you may come out with a stronger understanding of yourself and what you believe. If you go, would you be able to leave if the situation turned out to be too much for you?

Tough choice, hope it turns out well for you.

[lizea]

Up until this post, my first thought was that going could be a good experience for you- learning about other religions is never a bad thing, it could be a lot of fun, and could even help you to better understand why you don't jive with the Christian religion.

The possibility of finding out that you don't really believe what you think you do is scary- but this won't be the only time in your life that you have to face such things, so personally, I don't think it's a good idea to avoid it for that reason.

However, if this is a truly potentially unhealthy situation for you, and a mental health professional is advising against it at this time, perhaps it's not the best time to force such a situation upon yourself- it's one thing to be thrown into it unexpectedly, but to willingly walk into it when you know you're extremely vulnerable and may be affected adversely by it.

At the very least, give it very careful consideration, you may have a very good experience, you may come out with a stronger understanding of yourself and what you believe. If you go, would you be able to leave if the situation turned out to be too much for you?

Tough choice, hope it turns out well for you.
My shrink doesn't think it will be unhealthy like I will have a heart attack or anything. She is just worried because when I get overwhelmed (lots of people, loud music, dark confined spaces... and yet I am addicted to concerts...) I tend to break down and stop functioning for a while and she doesn't want that to happen to me if there isn't anyone there for me. But one of my dads is working at it, and so are my two sisters, and if I go my bestie is going with me, so my shrink is alright with it now, she just didn't want me alone or mostly alone as far as not knowing people there. I am bad at getting to know people so she didn't want me all alone in a dark room having a panic attack or anything...

I'm so scared... the thought of leaving my comfort zone (it is also in a city I have never been) freaks me out... but I am getting the feeling that I will always regret it for some reason if I don't do it. Not to mention now that it is a major fear it is something I have to overcome or I will always beat myself up over being too scared to go through with it...

But yes, I would be able to leave if I can't handle it.