I still have feelings for my ex

[Olivelovingtiger]

Well as stated I still have feelings for my ex boyfriend. We had a very difficult relationship. We had alot of differances and limitations. But we may have loved each other and were bf+gf for close to a year Until I broke up with him because he refused to take things further and i was jealous of other girls he was friends with. Then last summer he told me he still liked me but his friend did to. Just when he was getting up the nerve to ask me out his friend did and I was just so worn out and fed up by then that I said yes. I obviously didnt like this guy so after two months I broke it off. But incidentally he was the one who took me on my first date and gave me my first kiss. Which I regret not doing those things with someone I genuenly had feelings for. Now in the present he and I have been good friends for a long while. But today I just realized that I still have feelings for him. But I suspect that he may have feelings for one of my good friends. What should I do? Please help!_whistle_

[Astara Seague]

well I have feelings still for alot of my exs..
they were part of your life you cant just ignore them..
as long as you realize what happened and know what will be will be.. your ok.. just dont dwell on him
and know you can do better

[Olivelovingtiger]

Thank you for your advice. Lately though its just been so hard to tell the past feelings from the present ones.

[TheWomanMonster]

my best advice is, don't fret!
you just do your best to enjoy life and be happy, even if that means being on your own until everyone involved gets their feelings sorted out.

come what may... right?
:)

be well,

[Olivelovingtiger]

Once again thank you!

[Glowy]

agreed AS and TWM both have excellent points. It is natural to have feeling for ex's. When you invest emotionally in someone.... It takes along time. I think by the fact you stated "It is hard to tell past feelings from present ones" speaks volumes. What should you do? Well you are friends now. Keep it that way. You can choose to tell him how you feel, or you can wait things out. The choice can only be made by you.

( IMOHO)I would be honest. I would tell this person that in the past, I was not in the place at the time to appreciate him, that I grew and now appreciate all that he is and that I would like to start again.

[Darkest Eve]

I think that it depends.

Were the things that were bad things that you could have worked on?

Has he now expressed a willingness to "take it further" in whatever sense you were looking for from him before?

If not, it's likely you're going to wind up in the same boat you were in before... and things won't work out again unless you have either changed your expectations or he has changed his.

The others are right - it is natural to have feelings for your exes. Like someone else mentioned, they were a part of your life for a time, and even if they aren't now... that isn't just something that you forget. Good or bad, it's unlikely that you'll ever really be indifferent to them or your feelings for them. What you do with those feelings and whether they warrant giving the relationship another try is up to you... since nobody can feel what you're feeling, they can't really put it into a nutshell for you and tell you to stay away or go for it. ;)

[Amythyst]

I do too, and they're all homicidal. :stomp:

[Mesektet]

I still have feelings for some of my ex's...its a beautiful kind of suck emotion.

[Olivelovingtiger]

All very valad comments. Thank you for your help. As of lately I've been making good on my life's motto. "Avoid & Conquer"