Need Some Ideas

[mommydx3]

Someone else mentioned that they dreamed about an ex-boyfriend. I have had re-occuring dreams about a man that I dated 14 years ago. These dreams have been going on for years now and sometimes are similar in that I seek him out and visit him at his house.

I have no idea where this man lives now nor have I had any contact with him for at least 6 years when he called me and I hung up on him because I didn't want to talk to him - due to the man I was in a relationship at the time being in the room with me....After that I changed my phone number. I can't tell you how long it has been since I have seen him in person, I want to say at least seven years. We kept up with each other for a little while after we broke up and he dated another girl and had a child with her. I had a very hard time letting him go and moving on with my life.

We had a really crazy four year relationship when I was in my early twenties and it became abusive which is one of the reasons I left him. I'm not sure how much of my feelings were him were "true love" because of all of the craziness. But we did go through a lot together so maybe whatever is leftover of my feelings are out there is the real problem here. It really isn't something I dwell on anymore but the dreams do cause me to have periods where I think about him and wonder why everything was so messed up. I think mostly it was because I was young and very naive and didn't really know how to protect myself from people who control and abuse their partners.

The main problem being that these dreams really bother me a lot. They bring up a lot of the feelings (most of them upsetting) that I struggled with when we were together. I have a lot of unresolved issues over this relationship even though it has been over for a long long time. I've also harbored a lot of resentment for the way I was treated and I blame what I went through with him for a lot of the problems that I have had in some of my other relationships - I've been reluctant to get close to people and have actually been in a few other abusive relationships which kind of showed a pattern of self-destruction for a while.

Anyway, I finally got myself together at least I am much stronger as a woman, and I'm married now to a great guy and we have four kids and he has been soooo good for me and to me and doesn't even compare to this ex-boyfriend because he is so much better in every way. I feel really satisfied in our relationship. We do not talk about this guy or my past experiences when I was with him because it brings up problems between my husband and I.

Anyway, not to be redundant or anything but, my main issue is that these dreams keep coming up , I'd say at least once a month. About 8 or 9 years ago, after we had broken up, I had a dream about his sister telling me that he and his new girlfriend were having a baby. Then two days later his sister called to tell me that they were indeed having a baby. I had no idea except for that crazy dream. I also used to have dreams involving conflict with me and the girlfriend - since I did know her before I broke up with this guy. Those dreams about her went away a long time ago.

Now I just have these random dreams usually involving me visiting him and talking to him. Sometimes it's more involved than that. They are never bad dreams or involve abuse - just him being there. It's almost like I can't get rid of him or perhaps something even deeper and darker than that.

I'm pretty new to studying the different pagan paths. I've always felt that dreaming was special and important to me. Especially because I can sometimes control my dreams as if I am awake, I know I am dreaming and I can wake up and go back to sleep and go right back into the same dream. Also, on the other hand I have experienced sleep paralysis which was very horrible. I'd really like to explore more about my dreams and what they mean. I've started a journal as well as I am doing affirmations so that I can remember my dreams better. I'd appreciate any help or direction concerning dreams and how to interpret or understand their meanings.

Also any thoughts on how to get rid of that ex-boyfriend dream for good. He's caused enough problems for me in my earlier life and I am ready for him to totally be out of my life. Maybe someone could suggest a banishing spell or something like that???

Thanks!

[Brigid Rowan]

They bring up a lot of the feelings (most of them upsetting) that I struggled with when we were together. I have a lot of unresolved issues over this relationship even though it has been over for a long long time. I've also harbored a lot of resentment for the way I was treated and I blame what I went through with him for a lot of the problems that I have had in some of my other relationships - I've been reluctant to get close to people and have actually been in a few other abusive relationships which kind of showed a pattern of self-destruction for a while.

Anyway, I finally got myself together at least I am much stronger as a woman, and I'm married now to a great guy and we have four kids and he has been soooo good for me and to me and doesn't even compare to this ex-boyfriend because he is so much better in every way. I feel really satisfied in our relationship. We do not talk about this guy or my past experiences when I was with him because it brings up problems between my husband and I.





I think your answer lies in those paragraphs. You dont need a banishing spell, lovie....you need to understand the vast amounts of damage that can occur in an abusive and bad relationship. Sometimes a person can be so hurt, and traumatized, that our brain puts all are dark feelings in a "safe box" until we are in a place of relative emotional stability, where we are safe to begin to process all that has happened.

This can take many years..I think that your brain is trying to tell you its maybe time to start working on healing from that old relationship..the fact that the dreams are so upsetting and hard to take show the wounds are still unhealed.

[HedwigHarfang]

Someone else mentioned that they dreamed about an ex-boyfriend. I have had re-occuring dreams about a man that I dated 14 years ago. These dreams have been going on for years now and sometimes are similar in that I seek him out and visit him at his house.

...

Also any thoughts on how to get rid of that ex-boyfriend dream for good. He's caused enough problems for me in my earlier life and I am ready for him to totally be out of my life. Maybe someone could suggest a banishing spell or something like that???

Thanks!

(((mommydx3)))...Hi Brigid, by the way, this is Michael ;) now, Louise and I are almost ready to "come out", we just need another week or two of hanging out here and we'll be ready.

Mommy - Sometimes a banishing spell is the only language they understand...seriously, you are being told by your subconscious that the relationship is over and by dreaming about it you are expiating a lot of the tension in a safe and secure environment. Let me see if the cards can tell me anything about your waking situation (i.e. I just bought a new tarot deck and want to try it out!).

SITUATION: Knight of Cups
You are still a vessel for your ex and need to traverse this situation and come out on the other side. I suspect your ex is still trying to get at you and you are responding badly in this situation by still seeking him out in waking reality. The first thing to do is to resist the temptation to do this and to try and focus on your future with your current husband. It is very difficult to say this to someone in a hole but - first stop digging. Then get the magick out - a banishing spell to keep you at least from being in spiritual contact with him. As a practitioner of the Craft myself (I do have a life outside politics ;) though not much of one at the moment...) I can help you with this as it is often necessary for a third party to be involved with this. Looking forward rather than back is also needed here because the longer you go on being abused by him spiritually and mentally the longer the trauma will last.

SUBCONSCIOUS: Eight of Cups
You are moving down rather than up in this version of the card and I suspect the way he is keeping you imprisoned in the Underworld (the card depicts Persephone having to go home to Hades at the end of summer) is due to your spiritual bond having been broken by his bad behaviour. Magick is not always the answer but I disagree with Brigid and know you will be in need of something soon because people like this very rarely leave you alone if they know it gets a reaction from you. That said, you should try yourself: curse him to have to leave you alone in spirit and reality and if you need one, there is a small blessing here (curses should not be attempted unless you know that they are done with the best of intentions subconsciously as well as consciously): saying

"Space between us there shall be
"Of each other we are free
"Peace between us comes as well
"With the grounding of this spell
"By the power of the Law of Three
"As I will so mote it be"

Because you are now subconsciously ready to have this spiritual divorce, you will be subconsciously ready to perform this ritual; if you have any old photographs of him and you together you should take one and cut it apart while you are saying this blessing, and then bury or burn the halves. Because you have the intention now of leaving him, this will probably stop the dreams and free you from his unwanted attentions.

CONSCIOUS: Knight of Wands
Asking the forums now what these dreams mean and what you can do with them show your subconscious desire to move on has turned into real intentions to fight him off - but please take care and do it with the best intentions and with the best of love towards him, because here Bellerephon on Pegasus is showing that those who have too much of a will to power without the grounding and stability necessary to show love even towards those who have hurt us in the past can come to a sticky end. Bellerephon is moving backwards, and he reminds you that although you are at your wits' end with this sequence of dreams, you must proceed with caution rather than charging headlong into something that you will regret. Magick should be used sparingly, and I can help you in spirit with this later when I and Louise are ready to assist, but since you are subconsciously ready to move on from him at last, you need to curb some of the more aggressive impulses you feel towards him before you do everyone harm.

PAST: The Magician
The spark has been kindled in you and you seek help with this through magick and the pagan way, and I know many in the past who have learned to use and channel magick into useful and productive means of helping others. Louise used magick to find me when I needed help, and now that we are together we see you as searching for this to help solve your problems for you. Seeking help from the Magician is a double-edged sword, however, and channelling his spells into a careful and balanced way of thinking is the next step on your path. Bellerephon is pointing back towards the Magician, but you - in the Knight of Cups card - are also pointing forward to becoming more of a vessel and channel for the impulses and using your anger creatively. Louise heard a radio broadcast eighteen months ago where I said I was standing down from parliament, but knew that it was false and was put out against my own wishes because of other motives from other people. However she was sensible enough to control her anger and her passion at subconsciously knowing I still had plenty of time left on my clock to be careful with what she said to others about it, and to use her spark from the Magician in a peaceful and gently persuasive way to make sure people knew that I wasn't done with Parliament yet. Similarly, you have a spark in you to try and prevent your ex from pursuing you, but you need to channel this carefully and wisely and the Knight of Cups suggests you already are.

FUTURE: Seven of Swords
This card shows great strength in the face of great opposition, and although you are walking down a long and narrow road away from the light of the moon into darkness, you know you are walking the right path and for the right reasons. Magick is dangerous, but your skillful handling of the sharp swords at your disposal is showing you holding onto what you believe is right and true, just like Louise had to on her long journey towards me and the peace of mind she needed in order to find me in a confusing, hostile and often violent political arena. Old folk songs talk best:

"Don't you see the narrow narrow road
"So thick beset with thorns and briars
"That is the road to righteousness
"Though after it but few inquire

"Don't you see yon broad broad road
"That lies across the lily leaven
"That is the road to wickedness
"Though some call it the road to heaven

I have lost many friends to this dilemma - the easy path often leads to hell and although I am not going to name names, the lack of a clear moral compass in our society has destroyed it from within and it saddens me to see innocent victims of political games become disillusioned with the whole process because of a few bad men, or bad drugs, or whatever. Likewise, you must not be discouraged: having channelled your Magician's spark into your cup and knowing the right way to stop Pegasus from throwing you, you are now walking bravely forward along the right road, however difficult it may seem at the moment.

WARNING: The Hanged Man
Results may not be immediate here - although it is likely you will stop having the dreams after a while, remember God may need you to learn a few more lessons from a few more dreams. You can hasten the effect with the repetition of a spell but magick is not like electricity - you can't just suddenly flick a switch and turn the dreams off - so you will need to find your own space and peace before the spell will be wholly effective. But please rest assured that you are already seeking the right course of action, and magick is a helping hand that can free you from this pernicious man and safeguard you and your new family from his influences.

Another spell Louise found effective at coping with my disappearance from public life (ironically so I could reappear in her personal life later on when I was over my own battles with my own demons, inner and outer) I will detail now: it will probably free you from this man so that you can give your full attention to your husband. Using a red candle (L and I love candles, particularly scented ones), take a piece of tin foil in the shape of a heart - indented to make a kind of bowl or ash-tray - and every night for two weeks drip wax onto it until it is "full". While you are doing this, say the spell I gave you over to yourself. When the heart is covered completely in wax, break it in half, and bury both halves, preferably at different ends of the garden (or put them into two separate bins or something; sadly not everyone has a garden and I don't want to stop you completing the ritual!). It should help you state conclusively to this man in spirit and in reality that you are through with him and get him to stop messing you around.

ADVICE: The Lovers
Simple: cherish what you have and make it plain to everyone around you that you love them. The card here in this deck is strange to me in terms of imagery, but looking at it it makes perfect sense: there is so much diversity in life at the moment for you that you need to concentrate more on what you have than on someone who lost you a long time ago and is still haunting you. Please don't do anything stupid that would alienate your current family, and Louise and I will pray for you and them - and also for this nasty man who won't leave you alone, that he finds what he is looking for and peace for himself. God/dess is always out there looking and taking care of you, and Their peace is usually transmitted to you through guides and angels/nature spirits (different people believe different things, but we all know that something exists that is higher than ourselves, whether we think it is just the power of humanity itself, or angels, or the spirits of our ancestors. You have a loving family not just in waking reality but in spirit (and guides too) and you can't afford to lose them now that you need help. Doing things out of love for others is what I suggest, and being able to let go of this one evil man will allow you to give the love you had stolen from you by him all that time ago back to others who will return the compliment.

Good luck and take care of yourself. Louise and I will help you along, but remember it takes time for this magick to work. But it will help you relax and put this person behind you for good - and thanks for coming here before you just got sucked into the destructive anger that has consumed so many of my friends and Louise's too.

(and you take care of yourself too, Brigid...I'll see you later :))

[mommydx3]

Thanks HedwigHarfang, The reading was right on and thanks for the ideas about the spell. Believe it or not, I purposely put his pictures away in the attic, but I found one of us together last week...I was looking for something else and it fell out of an old notebook. I was really suprised and put it away - it was one of those that you get made in those little picture booths and it has several of us together in different poses. Those pictures will be perfect to use in that spell. Especially since they "fell out of nowhere" just last week. I'm not planning to do this so much in anger, but more to put that final divide between us.

Believe it or not the dream happened again last night while my husband is out of town no less. I had to consciously pull myself away from it. I got up and drank some water, splashed some on my face, said an affirmation and tried to cleanse my mind of the dream so that I would not go back there when I fell asleep again.

[HedwigHarfang]

Thanks HedwigHarfang, The reading was right on and thanks for the ideas about the spell. Believe it or not, I purposely put his pictures away in the attic, but I found one of us together last week...I was looking for something else and it fell out of an old notebook. I was really suprised and put it away - it was one of those that you get made in those little picture booths and it has several of us together in different poses. Those pictures will be perfect to use in that spell. Especially since they "fell out of nowhere" just last week. I'm not planning to do this so much in anger, but more to put that final divide between us.

Good to hear that.


Believe it or not the dream happened again last night while my husband is out of town no less. I had to consciously pull myself away from it. I got up and drank some water, splashed some on my face, said an affirmation and tried to cleanse my mind of the dream so that I would not go back there when I fell asleep again.Louise finds that she dreams better when there are fewer people around - it is much "safer" subconsciously for her to open up when she is alone in the house. As someone like Edgar Cayce who uses dreams consciously (often to astrally project myself into awkward or hostile situations - it is a godsend in politics to be able to consciously do it and often a necessity...), unfortunately I've never had the option to dream by just letting myself "go" into subconscious direction mode.

Evidently your subconscious here made sure there were no other people who could be rattled by the presence of your former other half. That was a good way also to banish unwanted dreams and I taught it to Louise several times when we were apart (but together in spirit) so that she wouldn't be disturbed by what she saw if she came scrying on me. About ten years ago I had an ...accident (a lot of ...accidents happen in politics) and was laid up over the winter (1997-98) - she and I couldn't have been together then because I was still prominently in the public eye, but she had a nightmare about seeing a "dead person" lying on the couch in a "kaftan" and she could see "bones protruding through the skin" - she'd been up late watching a horrid cartoon of skeletons on holiday or something nasty like that, and I think she thought she was dreaming about them.

It turned out she'd been scrying on me subconsciously and her shock at seeing me injured had propelled the cartoon to the front of her mind and she had overlaid the skeletons onto her image of me, in my dressing-gown, lying on my couch with white plaster casts on both ancles. Dreams being dreams, the two images had blended together because her subconscious was telling her "Michael is indisposed and doesn't want you to see where he is but he'll be along later to see you in spirit so don't panic, just wake up for the moment while he gets himself together and is able to project to you so you don't see what his mates did to him for a 'laugh'".)

Thanks for the karma - I've touched you back - let us all know how you get on.