Shocked and Horrified!

[AineDanu]

My mother has reported to the police that I have molested my little sister! I have never touched her in an improper manner. There is a scratch on her vagina and when asked how it got there she said Sissy. She couldnt explain exactly what happened and instead of asking me about it they called the cops and had a rape investigation done. Monday I have to go in and do something similar to a polygraph for up to two hours to prove I never did it.

This is why I am being ignored by my family. They decided I did this horrible crime and are turning their backs on me.

She got the scratch cause one night I watched her for a couple hours while mom went to the store and she started pooing a LOT and we ran out of those soft damp cloths they use for bigger kids now and so I used regular toilet paper. Only it was the cheap rough stuff and im not sure if it papercut her or if my nail scratched her but somehow she ended up with a small cut and they are saying that that is proof I molested her.

They didnt even ask! How could they think me capable of such a thing??

[Annorah]

Sending positive energies your way in the hope that this situation will get cleared up really quickly.

:hugz:

[wolfjan1]

Sending positive energy and prayers with a lit candle for justice for you.
Blessings,
wj

[Willow Rosette]

Ohhh honey that is so awfull. I will increase my prayers for you and include that the police see the truth right away so this can all be put to rest. :hugz:

[SilverClaw]

Holy crap I would be on a rampage ... that was what my first thought was when I read your post. I am so sorry you have to go through this BS.




How could they think me capable of such a thing??
I have no answers for you but it shows that they are not worth having in your life. I do wish for you the best out come and contiue prayers and sending energy your way.

Stay strong I know it is hard but you will over come and you will have your day when the tables will be turned.

[Garnet Heart]

I'm so sorry, this must be unbelievably painful for you. It's unconscionable that they would jump to such a conclusion without even hearing your side of the story. You're their flesh and blood, you deserve better than that.

:hugz:

I hope you can clear your good name.

[Lunacie]

I've accidentally scratched my grandchildren in much the same way at least once on each child. I join in sending energies to you for resolution of the situation and justice to be done.

[Agaliha]

Hey, I noticed you live in Bremerton, I'm only a some miles away! Cool.
I hope you don't get on the news or something....you know how lame local news is :2G:

As for your situation. Wow. They should have asked you first, for sure. I've done similar things to myself with crappy toilet paper! It's not impossible. It's weird how they'd jump to those conclusions that quickly and acted the way they did!

I hope things go well with the polygraph-like thing ;)

Edit: Out of curiosity, how old is your little sister?

[Lady_Door]

If you did nothing wrong than you have nothing to do but proclaim your innocence and wait for justice to find you.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[AineDanu]

thank you for your support. It's nice to know that someone out there believes in me - even if its not my own flesh and blood. I'd never ever do that to a child and its horrible feeling that my "family" believes it of me.

I sent my mother a text message that said I would be taking the lie detector thing on Monday and that after that was done none of them would see or hear from me again. She responded begging me to talk to her and listen to her side of things and swearing that she loves me with all her heart. She then in a later text begs me to talk to her face to face and to not leave their lives. I told her I had to think about it because I really didnt know what I had to say to people who honestly believed i was molesting my little sister.

She didnt reply to that. She is 8 years old but has down syndrome and doesnt speak well. The damning "evidence" was that when asked how she got hurt she said Sissy - but couldnt explain about the wiping and the toilet paper. So instead of asking me they just did what they did.

I was going to do a spell and light a candle for justice and protection but I cannot think of one to cover the situation - any suggestions? Thank you all for your continued belief in me. I would NEVER do something like that. Ive been there I know the damage done I just couldnt do it. Hugggs to all of you.

[SSanf]

Honest to Goddess! I would be so incensed that if I were you, I do not believe I would have any further contact with them for a very long time after clearing my name.

I would have a very hard time forgiving such an unforgivable insult. How could they have ever even entertained such an evil thought about you? How could they have acted on it without even asking you what happened?

And, though I don't by any stretch of the imagination think anything will go wrong, none-the-less they have put you and your entire future life at risk for no good reason.

No. I would not want to take the chance of having them in my life any more no matter how much I might love them and how much it might hurt to walk away. Some relationships are just not worth it.

I am sorry for your pain, grief and humiliation. And, it came so unexpectedly. I don't think you can handle this by yourself. You must be having an overload of anger and depression right now. I think you need to talk to someone professional just so you can have a safe place to unload the rage and hurt you must feel right now. I don't think this is one you can just suck up and go on with life like nothing happened.

[wolfjan1]

Seeing a professional is a good idea. And tell them the absolute truth. Express the pain that you are feeling that you are being falsely accused. Take the test and remanin calm. If you are nervous, like right now, try your grounding and centeing exercises. You have nothing to hide, so don't let anyone intimidate you. Especially the examiner.
Energy for you to be OK in this mess is in the air.

[darkchild]

Wow, I hate to hear about these situations. I hope it is resolved quickly for you. I'm sending positive energy to you for healing and justice.

[ILOVEAUTUMNS]

please take chamomile tea and any other calming herbs you need before the test because you have to be calm and centered

i agree with the others who said to lose contact with all of them because this is beyond senseless what they are doing to you

love is understanding.....and they would have understood to ask you first had their love for you been real

not talking to them is really the only way you can have justice for what they have accused you of without asking you

Maybe they can get her to remember the toliet paper by bringing it up to her and she might say yes.... hence clearing your name? Well I'm not good with legal stuff but all the other advice I gave I feel is the very best

You are too sweet a person to be around people like that, if you need time alone before you save up to move somewhere else that is fine, as being alone can help you become your own best friend, do things to cheer yourself up, maybe get some pets to keep you company. If you have people supporting you and helping you through this now then you know who your friends are and keep them close to your heart no matter where you go in life, but I would totally not speak to the accusers ever again because you and your life is worth too much than to surround yourself with such ickyness

[Tigerlily]

Positive thoughts go to you. I can't believe they would jump to conclusions like that.

[AineDanu]

I believe I know why they did it - when they moved out and I wasnt sure yet if I could afford to stay here by myself or not I mentioned moving to Montana and my mother through a fit. I'm wondering if this is her way of paying me back or maybe somehow she thinks it will keep me near? I dont know she needs mental help. I would never have done that to any child and cannot understand how she could ever ever think I would. My test is at 9am pst and im very nervous. Im not sure if I should take my medicine before I go in or not - im on my pain meds as well as valium and stomache/anxiety meds. Do you think it would be ok to t ake my meds so im not so stressed out i cant answer correctly without freaking out first?

[Willow Rosette]

I would keep your medicine to the normal routine you take them. If that means taking them before then I think you should and then just tell the test person so they know you are not trying to hide anything.

You will be in my prayers tomorrow morning honey. :hugz:

[Cassie]

Good luck with the test. I would keep as close as possible to your normal medication routine and explain to the testers what you are taking and why. They will know and expect you to be nervous anyway.

I slightly disagree with what some others have said about breaking off contact with your family. I think once the test is over you need to know for your own peace of mind why they accused you before deciding what to do next. If you are correct in your idea that this was your Mum's way of keeping you near, then, I think she needs help and you need to put distance between yourself and her.
:hugz:

[Lightning Strike]

Goodness...this is indeed a shocking scenario.
Sending healing and justice. It is fairy easy to scratch or makes a tear in or around the Vagina, especially with harsher paper. The skin is extremely thin, with many blood vessels and veins surrounding the area.It is possible that she herself did it, unintentionally. I can understand your mothers concern for the well being of your sister, however, I think she is jumping to a pretty huge conclusion, and a dangerous one at that. Molestation is difficult enough at the best of times to prove, and where a child is disabled like this, it is nearly impossible unless there is undisputed evidences, which clearly there are not. More over the authorities should know better, but we are living in a paranoid world now, where they will jump at any chance to take down the enemy. The enemy, being the victim [you] in this particular case. It is sad that we have allowed the paranoia to rule our brains. You have to appreciate they are at the end of the day doing a job, and it is great that you agreed to have the tests. This will all help them see that you are innocent here, and wrongly accused of this awful thing. You mother should trust your word, that you are innocent here. I am sorry that you and your sister are being dragged through this. I wish the best for you both, and that justice may be served, and the truth be seen crystal clear. I hope you get a massive apology from the authorities and that your mother, forgive me, feels like a complete b!tch and spends her life asking both your forgivenesses._pounce_

[SSanf]

Very young children and retarded people sometimes pleasure themselves and sometimes they use objects to do it. They sometimes also lie and say someone else did it it they think they may be scolded for doing something. I would suspect self-inflicted wound.

[Agaliha]

Good luck with the test--- it's almost 9!

One thing though, that I thought about was even if your mother has mental problems (which sounds like she may) you can decide not to have any contact with her--that is your right--but is that fair to your little sister? She didn't do anything wrong and she had no way of knowing it would result in this...I'd just hate for her to lose her sister and really not know why or perhaps feeling guilty and thinking it's her fault, when it's really your mother's for taking this to the extreme.

When you do get cleared, I think some sort of group counseling might be good-- your mother get help for her problems and discover why she'd accuse you of that, you to overcome your hurt over her actions and your little sister to understand it's not her fault and she's not to blame. I'm sure she's overheard your mother talking about it, I'm sure she thought it strange with the cops and the rape kit and all that-- I'm sure she's pretty confused right now.

Another thing to worry about is her hearing what your mother said and repeating it as fact because she wants to please your mother, which again isn't her fault as I don't think she knows better-- but that can get you in problems if they talk to her again and she starts repeating what your mother said...Kids do it all the time. There was even an Law & Order: SVU episode on last month about that. It happens and when it comes to innocent people that can cause a lot of problems.

Anyway, this just sounds like a nightmare for you.
Even if you walk way today knowing you're cleared, there's still that police report with your name on it....and sometimes that can come back to haunt you.



Im not sure if I should take my medicine before I go in or not - im on my pain meds as well as valium and stomache/anxiety meds. Do you think it would be ok to t ake my meds so im not so stressed out i cant answer correctly without freaking out first?

I always thought you're not suppose to take those types of drugs because they an skew the results, they should have explained things to you before.... :huh:

[Willow Rosette]

Any news??? Your in my prayers honey!!

[Agaliha]

Last activity: Last Activity: October 15th, 2007 08:40 PM

Aine, did things go well with the test?

[ThePaganMafia]

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Im sorry you have to go through this.

[Willow Rosette]

Last activity: Last Activity: October 15th, 2007 08:40 PM

Aine, did things go well with the test?

That scares me...she should have been on by now I think. Im going to leave her an off line message on yahoo.

[Agaliha]

That scares me...she should have been on by now I think. Im going to leave her an off line message on yahoo.

I would have thought she'd sign in too.

We have a storm coming in now, but it hasn't hit...she doesn't live too far from me (in a general way, I don't know specifics) and I haven't heard of any power outages yet or anything. So I don't think that's it.

I don't think she's guilty of anything, but sometimes those tests aren't solid and if the cops suspect anything they might take action. I hope that's not the case!

Good luck with contacting her, I hope everything is okay.

[AineDanu]

Hello folks,
I am just late getting home from mthe test. I returned about an hour ago and I have a major migraine from it all. Plus i'm so completely stressed out. I took the test - it was a lot easier than a poligraph it measures your voioce tones to see if you are lying or telling the truth. I went through the test twice and I passed it. That is great new BUT the investigation is over and even though I have been cleared by the lie detector and the two investigators who read the results the guy who is in charge of the case told me that in the end the prosecuting attorney could still decide that it is somehow my fault. And I wont know for several weeks to several months to never. I think thats crap that they dont let you know when the case is closed so you can move on with your life.

How am I supposed to move away from these psychos if I dont know that this is resolved??

Thank you for all your love and support and for believing in me throughout all of this it has really been my life-line. You guys kept me going when I just wanted to swallow my bottles of pills and leave a note telling my family if they want me gone well now I am.

Anyway, You are all wonderful - I thank each and every one of you and send youo each a giant hug, kiss on cheek, and a thank you.

Love, Karina aka AineDanu

[Agaliha]

Whew! I was getting worried.
I'm not surprised you passed, I didn't think you--or anyone-- molested your sister. I think it was an accident (with the toilet paper or her masturbating herself as SSanf mentioned) that was totally taken to the extreme and you got caught in the middle.

I'm glad you were cleared though. But that does suck that the attorney has the final say. Odds are that they won't prosecute, but I can see why you're still worried. Looks like you can't move on just yet. :(


Thank you for all your love and support and for believing in me throughout all of this it has really been my life-line. You guys kept me going when I just wanted to swallow my bottles of pills and leave a note telling my family if they want me gone well now I am.


:hugz:

Please don't swallow any pills! You have support here on MW, if not at home. If you haven't already it might be helpful to see a therapist to talk about this-- it's a lot to deal with-- the betrayal of your mom, the accusation itself, the pain, hurt, anger, etc. It'd put anyone though a lot of stress.

I hope things get better for you!

[ThePaganMafia]

Man I wish I wasn't 8 years away from becoming a lawyer. I would defend you pro bono if they did prosecute. That is some stupid stuff right there.

[AineDanu]

[quote] You mother should trust your word, that you are innocent here. [quote]
I was never asked what happened, I was just completely ignored for a month and then a cop shows up one days with the accusations.

[SSanf]

It is a real relief that you have been cleared by the test.

Now, comes the problem of how to deal with all this. You need some way to just take a break to think and calm down. Rent a motel room for a few nights and curl up into a little ball and cry out your rage, anger and hurt. You deserve the luxury of doing that. We are all entitled to do that from time to time. And, go blow a wad on the best restaurant in town. Eat comfort food. You can take those pounds off next month. Or, read a good distracting book if that is all you can do. You need some real time off. And, you need some big time self-nurturing.

When the whole world lets you down, remember this. You are your own best friend and a damned good one at that!

This is tough. But, remember you are a strong person who can deal with all the tough things life and fate choose to throw at you. Move forward into the fray with your head held high because you are a good, worthy, noble and worthwhile person with a whole hell of a lot to offer.

I wrote this for you.


EVEN IF YOU DO NOT LOVE ME
by SSanford 2007

Even if you do not love me, I love myself.

Even if you do not like me, I like myself.

Even if you do not respect me, I respect myself.

Even if you do not want me, I want myself.

Even if you do not need me, I need myself.

Even if you do not understand me, I understand myself.

Even if you do not trust me, I trust myself.

Even if you are not my friend, I am my own friend.

I wish you did love me. But, it is really OK. I have a greater love.

[AineDanu]

That is beautiful SS, you brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much.

Pagan - thanks for the thought, I hope this is the end of it though.

Once again thank you all, you've been wonderful.

[Lunacie]

Hello folks,
I am just late getting home from mthe test. I returned about an hour ago and I have a major migraine from it all. Plus i'm so completely stressed out. I took the test - it was a lot easier than a poligraph it measures your voioce tones to see if you are lying or telling the truth. I went through the test twice and I passed it. That is great new BUT the investigation is over and even though I have been cleared by the lie detector and the two investigators who read the results the guy who is in charge of the case told me that in the end the prosecuting attorney could still decide that it is somehow my fault. And I wont know for several weeks to several months to never. I think thats crap that they dont let you know when the case is closed so you can move on with your life.

How am I supposed to move away from these psychos if I dont know that this is resolved??

Thank you for all your love and support and for believing in me throughout all of this it has really been my life-line. You guys kept me going when I just wanted to swallow my bottles of pills and leave a note telling my family if they want me gone well now I am.

Anyway, You are all wonderful - I thank each and every one of you and send youo each a giant hug, kiss on cheek, and a thank you.

Love, Karina aka AineDanu

Good news! :abanana: Thanks for updating us. Sending energy for the crash that always follows a period of stress like this, and for the headache to go away. And a hug too. :hugz:

[wyldwolf]

Aine,
I am so sorry that you have had to go through this! What a horrible ordeal! I am so glad that things went well. As for the whole getting them out of your life, I can completely understand that feeling. I moved to another state for my mother because of things that she had been telling me for several months only to find out 4 months after the move, that everything that she had told me was a lie! I lost absolutely everything because of it and I just moved away from her and yet she continues to torment me. It's a terrible thing to not want to have anything to do with your own flesh and blood, but sometimes, it really is better that way. Know that you are in my prayers and I am sending all the extra energy that I have to you. Keep me posted as to how this all turns out._pounce_

[SilverClaw]

AineDanu I have some ideas for you if you want me to pm you about letting go of your mom and family. It worked well for when I had to let go of certain members of my family as well as give up on my mom ( or at least I am in the process of that ) . Pm me if you want ok?

Also I am glad that you got your named cleared :hugz:

SSanf that is a beautiful poem :)

[Lady_Door]

I'm glad things are starting to clear up a little. I would tell that attorney that you have nothing to hide. If it means taking another polygraph test and telling them what happens, so be it. I would also consider suing for slander. Instead of asking what happened they just jumped in and started throwing accusations- accusations that could very well damage your social standing. I would talk to a lawyer and see what they can do to right a few wrongs.
If you still feel like you're going to implode, I like physical activity. When I'm angry and stressed I pop some good ole Tae Bo into the VCR and work the stress out.

[ThePaganMafia]

Sueing would only bring more drama and not solve anything.

[BlackLili]

What a horrific experience. All I can offer is hugs and comforting energy.


_pounce_

[wolfjan1]

Hello folks,
I am just late getting home from mthe test. I returned about an hour ago and I have a major migraine from it all. Plus i'm so completely stressed out. I took the test - it was a lot easier than a poligraph it measures your voioce tones to see if you are lying or telling the truth. I went through the test twice and I passed it. That is great new BUT the investigation is over and even though I have been cleared by the lie detector and the two investigators who read the results the guy who is in charge of the case told me that in the end the prosecuting attorney could still decide that it is somehow my fault. And I wont know for several weeks to several months to never. I think thats crap that they dont let you know when the case is closed so you can move on with your life.

How am I supposed to move away from these psychos if I dont know that this is resolved??

Thank you for all your love and support and for believing in me throughout all of this it has really been my life-line. You guys kept me going when I just wanted to swallow my bottles of pills and leave a note telling my family if they want me gone well now I am.

Anyway, You are all wonderful - I thank each and every one of you and send youo each a giant hug, kiss on cheek, and a thank you.

Love, Karina aka AineDanu

Generally, by now, the investigating officers will have made their reports, after having talked to your motherAND your sister to the best of her ability.They will have seen your mother's actions and reactions.
Based on your cooperation, and the "facts of the case." you will probably not see any prosecutors anytime soon.
Should you decide to visit your Mother and sister, DO NOT do any bathroom care for her. That is your Mother's job, and she should do it herself, or have any care givers that might be there do it.
Keep your distance and do not do any thing in that manner. Only the things your normally do together. Don't take her out of the house for quite some time.
Bless you, and many good hugs._handclapp :hugz: :hugz: :huddle:

[AineDanu]

It doesnt matter that the computer test proved i wasnt lying my family still blames me and while saying they love me are having nothing to do with me. I am competely alone. They had no reason to believe this and yet they did and now I am possibly screwed for life. What if I want to adopt a kid or do foster care? Is this going to stop me? I've never done anything to a child, I was the one abused as a child so why would I do it to another? arghhhhh I asked my mother in a text message as she is still not talking to me just how many of the family believe i hurt my little sister. her response was oh they dont know what to think - but non are taking my calls. I have to leave here and yet i dont know if i can leave if im still a suspect then i have to stay dont i? besides i have no where to go. curses loudly and throws things a nd cries.

[Arianne Weaver]

A candle for "Justice would be OK - that's what you're needing. It sounds as if you're Mum just panicked - she must be very protective of your Sis due to both her age and disability. but to just jump at abuse as an explanation is realy harsh. It does sound as if she wants to make up, but that, of course depends on how you feel about it and what she has to say. Hope the Polygraph thingy went well - I'm in England so don't know what time it is for you or if it's all over now.

maybe a prayer to Maat or Athene/Minerva or another Deity of or tradition would help, especially if you're meeting family members soon.
Love & blessings -
Arianne.

[mammas_girl]

The thing is when your dealing with a child with developmental disablities some times they are guided to an answer. I know from my many years of working in that field. I am so sorry that you are going through this. However you should have nothing to worrie about this should be over as quickly as possible. All the postive energy and prayers to you. During your time of need. Blessed be!:ringaroun

[AineDanu]

For all of you wondering I am still waiting to be cleared. It seems the detective wanted to talk to my sister (middle one) and they have played lots of phone tag. I guess they finally connected some time a week or two ago but I have still received no notices telling me that the investigation is over. I know I should probably call and ask but i haven't worked up the courage to do so. Part of me is afraid i'll get angry or frustrated and end up being rude to the cop and part of me is scared that even though I passed the polygraph and told the truth about everything that they will still not believe me. I'm afraid i've not been on here because i've shut down from everyone and everything. I go do my dr appts and thats it. Some of them i've cancelled even. I just can't stand that anyone could think I would do something so horrid and it makes me not want to talk to or see anybody at all. Thank you all for your support. It was greatly appreciated. I thought that I should at least let you guys know that its not over and im still waiting.

[Lunadria]

I don't really know what to say, but I hope this all gets cleared up for you soon. :hugz:

[Cassie]

I know I should probably call and ask but i haven't worked up the courage to do so. Part of me is afraid i'll get angry or frustrated and end up being rude to the cop and part of me is scared that even though I passed the polygraph and told the truth about everything that they will still not believe me. I'm afraid i've not been on here because i've shut down from everyone and everything. I go do my dr appts and thats it. Some of them i've cancelled even. I just can't stand that anyone could think I would do something so horrid and it makes me not want to talk to or see anybody at all. Thank you all for your support. It was greatly appreciated. I thought that I should at least let you guys know that its not over and im still waiting.
Rather than call and ask is it possible to write and ask? This would allow you to express yourself clearly without fear of getting worked up and loosing your temper. It might also be good to speak to a lawyer and take advice on where you stand if this thing drags on any longer.
I do hope it is all sorted out soon. :hugz:

[Willow Rosette]

Ohhh honey :hugz: Im so sorry your still suffering from this. Dont let them win and end up stuck in your house forever. You deseserve better and to move on from this. Please come and talk to me if you need me :hugz:

[Lunacie]

Lighting a candle for this issue to be cleared up ASAP so you can get back to living your life again. :hugz:

[~Belladonna~]

This is awful!!! I don't know what to say to make things seem any better, though I'm sure things we get cleared up soon. These things always come to light in the end hun.

Sending you positive energies and a big :hugz: