GEBS
October 15th, 2007, 10:16 AM
Maybe I am a minority here but I have to say that I feel very blessed with the woman that my ex-husband married.
I do not always agree with her. We have very different life styles. Our thoughts on many things are different. I am a lot more laid back in my parenting style. I am firm with the things that matter most to me and flexible on the things that don't. She is a lot more of a traditional Christian. The things she stresses as important I disagree with. BUT... we communicate and we come to agreements. We work things out for the benefit of my son.
When she is with my son he is treated no differently than the children she shares with my ex-husband. I have family that she has never met. They have seen her out with my son. They could not say enough good words about how she related to my son.
I know that in a divorce situation that is one of the biggest worries, at least in my experience. There was someone my ex was living with for a short while. I tried hard to avoid being the "typical ex-wife". I didn't call the house for trivial reasons. I didn't make attempts to manipulate him. I didn't try to use our son against him. I wanted him to be able to move on and be happy. But this woman.... this.... woman. She was horrible. She was never out of line to me but the things she did and said in front of my child were inappropriate. She even humiliated him when he was 3 because he had a bed wetting accident. I was thrilled when he finally broke it off with her.
After that he got together with the woman he is now married to. Now, to be honest, she is no Saint. We have had disagreements and I know that she has manipulated certain things to her advantage. But ya know what?? It could be a hell of a lot worse. She is a blessing, as far as I'm concerned.
Note: Before you think it let me say something. This is not a case of not liking the first girl because she was the first one he was serious with after our split. She had nothing to do with our split. I left him for other reasons not at all related to this woman. And the woman he is married to is actually someone we knew during our marriage. I knew she wanted to be with him. If I should be angry with anyone it would be her. But I am not. I never have been. She also had nothing to do with our split.
I know I'm the ex in the situation I'm speaking of so maybe my view is a bit skewed. Maybe she sees me the way second wives often see ex's. I don't know. I hope not. I do my very best not to overstep any boundaries. I make sure all of my involvement is limited to our son.
Anyway I guess I wanted to post to encourage those of us that are in less than desirable situations with our spouse's ex. Things can work between and ex spouse and the new spouse. I don't know if it's common but I sure hope so. I hope that there are some others than can post about positive stories with an ex. They can't all be horrible.
I do not always agree with her. We have very different life styles. Our thoughts on many things are different. I am a lot more laid back in my parenting style. I am firm with the things that matter most to me and flexible on the things that don't. She is a lot more of a traditional Christian. The things she stresses as important I disagree with. BUT... we communicate and we come to agreements. We work things out for the benefit of my son.
When she is with my son he is treated no differently than the children she shares with my ex-husband. I have family that she has never met. They have seen her out with my son. They could not say enough good words about how she related to my son.
I know that in a divorce situation that is one of the biggest worries, at least in my experience. There was someone my ex was living with for a short while. I tried hard to avoid being the "typical ex-wife". I didn't call the house for trivial reasons. I didn't make attempts to manipulate him. I didn't try to use our son against him. I wanted him to be able to move on and be happy. But this woman.... this.... woman. She was horrible. She was never out of line to me but the things she did and said in front of my child were inappropriate. She even humiliated him when he was 3 because he had a bed wetting accident. I was thrilled when he finally broke it off with her.
After that he got together with the woman he is now married to. Now, to be honest, she is no Saint. We have had disagreements and I know that she has manipulated certain things to her advantage. But ya know what?? It could be a hell of a lot worse. She is a blessing, as far as I'm concerned.
Note: Before you think it let me say something. This is not a case of not liking the first girl because she was the first one he was serious with after our split. She had nothing to do with our split. I left him for other reasons not at all related to this woman. And the woman he is married to is actually someone we knew during our marriage. I knew she wanted to be with him. If I should be angry with anyone it would be her. But I am not. I never have been. She also had nothing to do with our split.
I know I'm the ex in the situation I'm speaking of so maybe my view is a bit skewed. Maybe she sees me the way second wives often see ex's. I don't know. I hope not. I do my very best not to overstep any boundaries. I make sure all of my involvement is limited to our son.
Anyway I guess I wanted to post to encourage those of us that are in less than desirable situations with our spouse's ex. Things can work between and ex spouse and the new spouse. I don't know if it's common but I sure hope so. I hope that there are some others than can post about positive stories with an ex. They can't all be horrible.
