She Broke me...

[newo51]

i was dating a girl for a year, after that year i proposed to her, she agreed, we were engaged for another two years. we were to be married about a month from now. a few nights agi she tells me she needs to talk but she`ll call me later on. so i wait and no call. so i call her...no answer...i call later on..no answer....i txt her....no reply. i stayed up al night because i thought something mightve happened to her. the next morning i call her house and her mom says she isnt there. i get a txt a few minutes later...suddenly she tells me she likes some one and needs a break from us. a week later tells me she made a huge mistake and wants to fix it because she loves me. hours later she tells me he cant break his heart.( mind you she was able to break my heart in an instant but someone who she had a silly crush on he couldnt). she led me to beleive she wanted time for herself and needed to be single for awhile. only for me to find out later on she started dating the guy the sme exct date she left me meaning she had that planned. How could she hurt me like that? she claimed she wanted to keep our friendship but how if she lied to me like that?leading me to believe her and i would get back toghether and she just needed time for herself while she was already dating someone else.

she realy hurt me emotionally and mentally and i dont how to recover from this. ive isolated myself from my friends and family and cant seem to feel anything. i barely speak at school or at home. and i spend alot of time alone now. am i worng for thinking shes nothing but a liar and not wantig to continue a friendship with her? how do i overcome this? any sort of response would be great....

[RoseKitten]

First of all :hugz:

I know that it hurts, but you really need to try and get out with your friends. I wouldn't try to stay friends with this girl, because she obviously doesn't care enough about you to be worth your time. Take this as time to focus on you, and what *you* need, on your own. Lean on your friends, that what they're there for, and set some goals for youself. :)

[newo51]

thanks for the advice, problem is though, i want to get out with my friends thing is i feel terrible on the inside like even in social situations i start getting uncomfortable, i feel like i let her become way to high a priority of mine and lost everythingelse on the way

[RayneStorm]

:hugz: I know it hurts! RoseKitten is right though. You need your friends right now and you need to focus on #1 which is you. If you feel you need to be by yourself, that's okay too only dont isolate your friends and family. Let them know as much as they need to know you dont have to tell them everything, just enough for them to understand how your feeling.

I wouldnt be friends with this girl right now. Maybe later on if that's what you choose but right now it's way too soon! Focus on you, spend time with yourself and learn to be comfortable again. I know it's hard and it hurts and it seems like it will always hurt but it wont.

I wish there was more I could say .... I'm sorry that this happened to you!

Rayne

[Aina]

Honey, I was engaged at 18....Being in the teens is a very confusing time and things. Sounds like she is young, and doesn't know what she wants yet. Give it time, and like everyone has said above, surrouned yourself with friends. Don't let someone control your emotions like that. You control how you feel, not the other way around.

I wouldn't agree to a friendship with her, because (from expirance) friendships with ex-fiancee's can lead to hard times, and rough feelings.

I hope things work out :) :hugz:

[Nitefalle]

When I was a teenager, all my friends who were with their SO's for longer than three months used to say they were "engaged". I know they meant it at the time, and I'm sure the feelings were very strong, but I never took it seriously. I don't know how teenagers expect to make such a serious life commitment during the greatest transition period of their lives. I'm not trying to bash the OP, it just always confused me a little as to why teens would even say that. My best friend was "engaged" to a boy she was with for two years.....during this two years, he cheated on her ten times, told her about it, convinced her to start an "open" relationship with her so that he could continue to cheat, was busted for drug possession with intent to sell and went to prison. I was flabbergasted that she considered herself "engaged" to this person!!! She was only seventeen at the time. People at that age are presented with so many choices regarding who to hang out with, what to do, what college to attend (if any), what career choices they are considering, what haircut is the trendiest, etc. They have so much pressure on them, I can't even imagine that they would want to add to it by being "engaged".

[RayneStorm]

True Nitefalle I agree but it doesnt make the hurt any less real.

[Nitefalle]

No, I know....I wasn't trying to imply that the age of the OP negated anything, because I know they are hurting and I can only imagine how I would feel if my boyfriend of many years played me out like that. It's horrible and I feel very bad for them. It just happened to be a subject that has boggled my little mind for a very long time.

[wolfjan1]

Well, you may certainly say good riddance to that psy-vamp.
Now it is time to ground, center, shield and leave a gift to the earth. Seeds, bread, something that will make a difference to a hungry critter.
Now let your bruised heart heal for awhile and don't get in to any relationships 9or one night stands) that may leave you feeling wasted and used. Make some friends of women and learn how we think and feel about things. You will be able to tell the sharks from the lambs. Then you will be able to pick out the right one for you. One who matches your intelligence and has a heart as soft as yours.

[Lady_Door]

I'm so sorry. That really is painful. I had something similar happen to me. The best thing to do is to cut them from your life. If they're willing to hurt you now, there won't be a reason not to later.

[Marcasite]

I'm so sorry. It will get easier with time though. It's gonna hurt for a while, but you will discover that you do have a life aside from her and that you will eventually move on.
When I got engaged to my boyfriend I was only 19 or 20 I think. He did end up dumping me and everyone said I told you so which *REALLY* didn't help. I know many teens that get engaged and break up. But I know many who end up married anyhow.

[Annorah]

I'm so sorry you are going through this :hugz:

I know you don't feel like being sociable but do "paint on a smile" and go out with your friends and start talking to your family. If you can act like you are enjoying yourself, you will start to enjoy yourself.

As for being friends with this girl, well, I was about your age when I was given this advice ...

"You can turn a friend into a lover but you cannot turn a lover back into a friend" ...

I have found that to be true (although others' experience may differ).

:hugz: to you

[newo51]

thank you everyone for your kind words and advice. i mean wwhen it all went down she told me instead of being mad i should support her and be her best friend. i found that ridiculous how she expected me to be ok and just act like everything is fine.

[mystic_zoe]

hey newo, im so sorry this happened to you!
you should try find a friend(s) to talk to, get it out instead of holding it inside.
besides, thats what friends are for :)

it is ridiculous that she expects you to be friends with her after this, nevermind best friends. you have every right to be mad at her aswell!

[wyldwolf]

I can totally see how all of this has hurt you so badly. I do have to agree with all of the others, take off with your friends and just try your best to have a good time. It will get easier with time. The best advice that I can offer you for your future relationships is to never make someone a priority who only sees you as an option._pounce_