Lonely, bitter and frustrated

[Kahlil the Heretic]

I mean seriously, where is everyone? How do you get to know other people? I can't meet anyone at school or on the bus because everyone is in a little shell that blocks everyone else out...I'm just so frustrated because there are billions of people in this world and I have like only one friend. What should I do? What do you guys do? This sucks, I'm so damn lonely...I have so much to offer people but I'm stuck living the life of a hermit.

What is wrong with me? Why are women completely repelled by me? Does anyone know of how I can get a girlfriend?

I'm so pissed off that women leave nice guys in the dust. I'm sorry I'm not a muscle-bound, domineering control-freak jerk that needs to know where you are 24/7...FUUUUUUUUCK. I've got so much goddamned love to give and no one to give it to...I'm sick of trying to be positive and patient. I want to meet people! What do I DO?

I'm having a DAMNED MELTDOWN RIGHT NOW

[Chaos Hawk]

It's tough. I understand where you are coming from. I have a hard time talking to people and getting to know people too. So I don't have any great advice for you. I'm sure there is someone out there for you who can appreciate all of your great qualities. :hugz:

[Lightning Strike]

_pounce_I think you are being too hard on yourself. Be patient, and don't put yourself down, things will tun out in the end. Have a little faith.

May you find new friends and new faces,
Meet good people in all the right places,
May your days be blessed from this day forth,
From all corners, South through to North,
Keep your chin up, hold your head high,
Learn to smile, and not to sigh,
Have faith, my friend, that all will turn out,
Of this may there be no doubt.
So mote it be.

[dragoncrone]

Like, right now!
Go somewhere, to a bookstore or coffeehouse (or both) where there are live people and lights and possibly music. NOT TO A BAR. Bars are lousy places to meet people.
Go to an all-night supermarket and just stroll the aisles, looking for almond paste or hair nets or something unusual. Look at people. Smile. Or just wave.

Do the same thing tomorrow night and the night after that. DO NOT STAY HOME on the computer!!
There are people out there but you will never meet them IF YOU DON'T GET OUT THERE!!!!

...and, try to have fun, OK? Life is too short.

[Meagan]

As you said, there are billions of people in the world they just aren't talking to you. Sometimes you have to talk to them. If it doesn't work out then too bad...if you think it is something or someone worthy of pursuit then go for it. Don't give up and don't let go until you deem it a hopeless cause. I don't think your goal with women should be to get a girlfriend but to make them your friend. Friends typically make the longest lasting relationships in some cases. Concentrate on your interests or boldly go out and meet people. Join clubs, go to school events...you can't serious say you have no one to talk to, can you? Talk to your classmates even!

[RoseKitten]

:hugz: You could be me... you know, if it weren't for the "female" issues... heh. Really though, I don't really know what to tell you. It's frustrating, depressing, and makes me want to just wither away sometimes. I always wonder if it's really worth it, what the point is, why I even bother. But, you know, in the off chance that I can figure out a way to actually be happy, I guess it is worth it. I wish I could give you better advice, but I don't have any. If you ever want an e-friend who's where you are, hit me up. :)

[Kahlil the Heretic]

I am always at the fringe of every group I'm in. I don't know why, and I can't stand it. I speak and no one listens.

And that still doesn't explain why women are repelled by me.

Where do I meet weird people? I'm weird, where can I meet them?

And does anyone know of any free dating websites or something? I need a frickin' date here. I can't be patient anymore.

Edit: You see? Why can't I meet awesome people like rosekitten?

[RoseKitten]

I am always at the fringe of every group I'm in. I don't know why, and I can't stand it. I speak and no one listens.


Again... know the feeling quite well. And, not only do they not listen, but when I do talk, I usually get interrupted like my opinion isn't even worth hearing. Blah.




And that still doesn't explain why women are repelled by me.



That, I could not really tell you sweetie. :) Except, most women (in my experience), suck (and not in a good way... at least not to good guys, but that's a whole 'nother topic).




Where do I meet weird people? I'm weird, where can I meet them?



Join a gaming group (if you're into that sort of thing), or an anime club, or whatever. I don't know where you're from so I'm not much help for directing you to decent groups, but I'm sure you can find *something.*




And does anyone know of any free dating websites or something? I need a frickin' date here. I can't be patient anymore.



All most of those sites are good for are one night stands and a bunch of crap. :hugz: Patience is a good thing, but is so frustrating (I know... trust me), it's even more frustrating when you think you've actually got something going on and then *poof* they're way more into someone else than they ever were into you. *sigh* I wish I had more advice, but it seems I can just sympathize (that word looks WEIRD). *huggles*




Edit: You see? Why can't I meet awesome people like rosekitten?
[/quote]

*looks at the comment about weird people*

:2G:

_whistle_

[ILOVEAUTUMNS]

I am guessing all the people who have a hard time meeting people come from
suburban or snobby towns, am I correct????????????

Please let me know if I am correct!??????????????

I also live in a suburban and also a snobby town (usually suburban increases the probability of snobby)

I do believe that if we all lived in little farm towns it would be easier to meet people because people are WAY friendlier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyone agree with this????????????????????????????????????????

ps for free internet dating try
Plenty of Fish online dating, but
be aware there are
"serial daters"--meaning they date many new people every week and never call the rest again,
some of the profiles, especially on match in my area have been on there since 2001 (same photos,
and i've dated some of them, they never call back and just keep searching! it's insane and I really
hate this area I am in and want to get the hell out but I need money before I can move and start my
life again)

[Merrilyn]

I know the sentiment. I'm a lonesome soul, myself...can't find a real friend for the life of me. Online is great & all but, sheesh. Do I offend? Smell? Look funny?

I'd be your friend. :hugz:

I just wish more of us knew how to seek each other out.

[RayneStorm]

Try becoming more comfortable with your own company. Join groups, online or outside, in areas that interest you and there'll be others there who have the same interests.... Things happen when you least expect it. If you're confident within yourself and you appear to not be looking for anything inparticular, it shows and ppl can pick that up. You might get approached then.

Now, I could be wrong.. Im not a ppl person and I really enjoy being by myself (even though I'm married and have a son). But there were times when I too wanted friends and to go and hang out with other ppl. I would go out by myself and just do it. You dont know until you try. You might surprise yourself.. you never know.

Good luck and have fun!
Rayne

[Brigid Rowan]

I have no clue why its hard for you, the OP, to meet and make friends..but I have a feeling that its hard for MOST people. Barring anything obvious (I am going to assume you bathe, brush your teeth, are polite, have clothes on, and dont carry big knives with you) I think a lot of it may be atributable to the fact people exist on autopilot...we dont actively seek contact with others.

That is why a club or small group is usually a good way to meet people, they are there for that purpose, and have their guard down. Look into pagan groups, SCA, LARP groups, basket weaving classes, whatever you like..and join in.

Im a loner by nature...I have a handful of friends, the rest are all just "folks I happen to know"...In fact, hubby and I rarely go out and socialize with our neighbors, we avoid them, actually..as our neighbors are turning "bizarre" into a high art form. (And not kooky, fun bozarre...more like..cold, and do-you-even-have-a-pulse bizarre. Like, wouldnt know fun if it bit them bizarre)..

[ILOVEAUTUMNS]

maybe for all the people who already have friends, husbands, etc.,
you can tell us how you met them so we can try the same things

also how many loners live in suburbia or snobville?

i think if we lived in a small farm town or in other poor communities,
people are friendlier! anyone agree?????

[Kahlil the Heretic]

What's an OP?

[Brigid Rowan]

What's an OP?
You are, the op=original poster (on the topic)

[Sun Sprite]

I can certainly relate!

In fact people ignore me, then when what I say happens, they run from me as if I had the plauge!

How did my hubby and I meet? Want a fairy tale story? Seriously, my ex moved me out to an upstairs apartment. My co-workers gave me a microwave, and told me not to carry it upstairs. I asked this guy I saw, that I recognized as living across the hall to carry it up for me.

He saw I had no furniture, and offered me to look at his on Saturday as he was moving out and not takeing it. On saturday, we ended up going furniture shopping, then to the zoo, and have been inserapable since (this was 5 1/2 years ago).

Go to that block watch party, you never know who you might meet!

[Chaos Hawk]

maybe for all the people who already have friends, husbands, etc.,
you can tell us how you met them so we can try the same things

also how many loners live in suburbia or snobville?

i think if we lived in a small farm town or in other poor communities,
people are friendlier! anyone agree?????.

I live in a suburban snobville, and it can be hard to make friends here. I've also lived in poorer smaller towns and people there can be downright mean. I've lived in semi wealthy areas and people there were very outgoing. I don't think socio-economic status has that much to do with it. Although, part of the country may.

The friends I have are mostly from where I work, but we don't do social things very often. I found that an easy way to get to know people is to just start chattering. I'm the worst at starting up conversations, but I can usually find a way to interject a comment into one (like I'll post in existing threads but not start my own). I.E. "that remindes me of thus and such book that I read. . ." or "people were talking about that same subject on this site that I'm a member of." The main thing is to just shrug it off when people look at you blankly and keep talking.

I think it's mostly about confidance. Even if you don't have it, anyone can pretend like they do. One of my more outgoing friends expressions was "fake it till you make it." That approach can be helpful in making conversations less intimidating.

[MOONLIGHT SEREN]

lonliness is the most common
illness in the world
it is also the least understood


I hope that your difficult path becomes a wonderous walk soon

[RayneStorm]

How I met my husband was on a phone chat line. He lived in another province at the time and I dont even really know why I kept talking with him because of that. I remember thinking that nothing will come of it, he doesnt even live here.
But then he came out to visit me and I gotta tell ya, I wasnt even attracted to him when I first saw him but the longer we hung out and the more we talked the attraction started to build and here we are.
As for where I live, I dont really know what it's like yet. We just moved here last Jan and I've been somewhat housebound (mostly by choice). We do know a couple of our neighbours but we dont really socialize. My husband is a total ppl person and me, well not so much so we try to balance each other out. Mainly it's family that we visit and a few friends but that's it.
So that's my story.

[mystic_zoe]

I am always at the fringe of every group I'm in. I don't know why, and I can't stand it. I speak and no one listens.

i know how it feels! the people i used to hang out with used to cut me off when i spoke or didnt pay any attention and just spoke over me. since starting college i havent really made any friends because i find it really hard to just strike up conversation, my mind just goes blank.



Where do I meet weird people? I'm weird, where can I meet them?

i suppose just joining clubs which interest you.

if you want a buddy to talk to online let me know :spinnysmi

[Kahlil the Heretic]

Doesn't it just burn you guys up to be interrupted? Man...

Sometimes I just fall into the role of the "mysterious guy" because I really have no other choice. I figure, "Well, no one really listens anyway, so I might as well be the quiet fly on the wall." People tell me I don't communicate well because I'm quiet...I say I'm quiet because people don't listen in the first place.

Now that I think of it, I find the vast majority of "normal" people to be very boring...maybe I'm the one who is ignoring them. My friend Lauren says that I simply vibrate at a different level. That's certainly encouraging, but I don't want to think of myself as better than anyone either...just different.

In the end I ask myself...is it worth the loneliness to be different? And I always answer yes.

[Myzterio]

So you're different... Does it suck? Oh, yes. It sucks! But it's also a good thing, a... gift, perhaps?

It certainly doesn't make you any better a person, but it may make you capable of achieving things with a greater scope. If that's what you want.

I find communicating with people to be hard, but ultimately it's worth it, in some cases. I've recently taken up on going out, and the location I've picked for it is the nearest big city - where I go to two different places; the first is the Irish Pub, which is fun (I love speaking English, but don't get much of a chance, living in Belgium; and I love the Irish accent!) and secondly, and mostly, a cafe called 'De Witte Non' - the White Nun - a rock café filled to the brim with metalheads, goths, and whatnot. I find like-minded people there, and I find it somewhat easier to start speaking to people there, and sometimes people will even come up to me!
I still don't fit in there, entirely - even there I'll be the odd one out - but it's not so bad, because they're more open-minded.

Just try to find a place where people are expecting oddities, and you'll notice they won't mind you so much, I guess... ;)

[mystic_zoe]

Doesn't it just burn you guys up to be interrupted? Man...

it does! it annoyed the heck out of me !
i dont socialise a lot ( except from work or college) so i am used to my own company, but you should make yourself heard if you have something to say. when they interupt you, make it known because sometimes they will know they've done it sometimes the wont, y'know?

dont be a fly on the wall if you have something to say!

:spinnysmi