Potty training???

[Athena-Nadine]

A few people keep telling me that I need to get Robert a potty chair, that he's at the age when he needs to be able to start getting used to it being around, that I'm procrastinating in this and that it's going to make it more difficult later on.

I don't think he's quite ready to start potty training yet. He only occasionally is aware that he's peed or had a bowel movement in his diaper and has limited interest in what we're doing in the bathroom. He mostly just likes to be in there with us (though he tries to put his hand in Mark's pee stream :lol: ). With a one month old to take care of as well, I'm also in no hurry to get him potty trained, though I do admit that I am going to throw a party in a few years when I no longer have to change diapers. ;)

I will bring this up at Robert's 2 year well check in February, but this is something I admit I haven't given any thought to yet.

Should I be addressing this now and getting him a chair so he can get used to it? Should I just leave it alone?

[Chesna]

I guess my thought is what would it hurt?? You can get one..let him pretend to sit on it when you guys are in there, let him put stuffed animals or action figures on there. I think we had our potty chair about 6 months before Ellie used it. Mostly she would sit on it as I peed. Sometimes I would ask if she wanted to sit on it and such. It's another one of those things- do as you want.

Chesna

[RainInanna]

What I read in a parenting magazine the other day said typically boys are ready at 3 years old and girls at 2 1/2. I wouldn't push it with the newborn there (even if he were doing well before he might regress anyway). Better for your sanity not to have one more thing to worry about, IMHO. People are pushy :D YMMV.

[Athena-Nadine]

Thank you both. :) No, Chesna, you're right in that it wouldn't hurt anything. I think I was just a bit surprised. My initial reaction was, "Is he that old already?!?" :lol:

[wolfjan1]

Yes, Having a potty chair in the bathroom is a good idea. Since children tend to imitate their parents' actions, they will catch on. And follow through with all the actions, hand washing , drying, flushing, the whole bit. If Dad takes a book or the paper, give him one of his books or keep one for him on his potty seat.
Boys, for some reason are a bit slower to train, But curiosity and imitation are good tools.

[ladyalpha]

I had one for each of my children but I found them to be a waste of money. They were great for pretending and giving my child a place to sit while they were hanging out in there with us. But, when it came to them actually using something, the girls preferred the ring that clips onto the toilet seat. I think my oldest may have used her potty chair to urinate in maybe a handful of times.
My son was too big, even for pretending at a young age, to sit on one comfortably. The rings that went on the toilet seat was too small also..at least with the guard in place. So he had to learn on the toilet sitting backwards to conquer his fear of falling in. Then he switched to sitting right and standing when the mood strikes him to. lol Urinals are apparently the greatest thing in the world..not sure why that is. LOL

If you feel that he, or anyone else in the house, are suddenly pressured to use it..then I don't see anything wrong with getting one now. But, if you think he would feel like your trying to push him to grow up, it may cause issues. Especially since you have a new baby in the house.
Really it just depends on your son and his personality. And on your own thoughts and how it will affect you.

Later on, you may find that he will do better learning with using the actual toilet better than going through the step of potty chair, then toilet. Every child is different. And there is no need to push him in the direction of being potty trained right now when he isn't showing a real sense of readiness. Which is what the "suggestion" sounds like to me. That will only cause unneeded issues, drama and chaos, in your house.

[Brigid Rowan]

I, and this is is just my opinion, would wait to really begin potty training. Introducing him to it conceptually is fine, probably...but with a new baby, is now really the time to devote to having a toddler in undies who will undoubtedly pee on the floor several times a day for awhile? Do you have the energy to spare on the work involved? I never tried potty training a kid with a newborn in the home, always waited till the new arrival was 4-6 months old and we were all better adjusted, better rested, and on a schedule..

[Seren_]

If you don't think he's ready for potty training, then it's probably not a good idea to start. I made a few efforts with Tom to start potty training, but it just got frustrating for me because he wasn't ready, though I think having the potty around has helped. Then one time he was running around naked and saw his dad peeing, and stood next to him and started peeing too. My husband lifted him up and Tom did the rest in the toilet, then the next time he peed we quickly put the potty under him. From that point onwards, he's peed in the potty. Numbers twos are slower progress, he tends to wait for his nappy to go on. And he's not ready for underwear yet...

I think it's also important for the parents to be ready to begin the training as well. Even when things go fairly easily it can still be frustrating, and there are different ways you can approach training as well. Deciding on the approach you're going to take, and getting an idea beforehand of ways to overcome problems you might encounter will make it much easier on you and your husband. Not to mention being mentally and emotionally prepared for it. It's a big developmental stage for them to go through.

[Chaos Hawk]

I think he's probably a little young, my sons were a bit older when I started working with them. My oldest son really liked reading "potty books" and he would sit on thr toilet and we would read them. My younger son couldn't be bothered to even really try till he was about 3. So all kids are different.

[Ceres]

Personally, I think potty chairs are yucky and counterproductive. What I found worked was if the toddler was using the REAL gown up toilet, they were inclined to do it on their own, without being rewarded or made to. Everything else is learned by imitation and I think using the toilet is no different.

At his age, I would say "When you are bigger, you can use the toilet for peeing and pooping like mum and dad". You know toddlers - this makes them want to try doing just that. Maybe not right away, but over time, as they hear more and more that this is a big kid thing, they will want to try it.

When he starts trying to pee in the toilet like dad in a year or so, I suggest buying one of those toilet seats that are built to let toddlers use an adult toilet instead of a potty chair. They are cleaner and more portable. Tell him this is a device for big kids to use the adult toilet when they want to and leave it on a hook in plain sight in the bathroom until he asks.

I am not into praising or making a big deal out of this because I think kids recognize this as coersion and thats why they tend to backslide. Like anything with anyone, personal motivation is far more powerful than external imposed motivation. Read: rewards. If you make it clear you expect that when he is ready to use the toilet, he will, he will expect that its something he is quite capable of when he decides he is ready. And what toddler doesnt want to be big? :lol:

As for timing, I think you are wise not create a source of tension in your home at this point. He is still getting used to sharing mommy and you dont need to be cleaning up accidents with so much to do already. Its not like there is a window where if you dont introduce the idea of potty they will never learn or not learn as well! If anything pushing it will just invoke that famous toddler counter-will.

[Athena-Nadine]

Thanks so much, everyone. :) It's nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks it wouldn't be a good idea to start on this now. You know how it is. Some people have an opinion about anything when it comes to other people's children and have an insatiable need to share it whether you ask for it or not. ;)

I can't even get him to go down the stairs on his own or eat with utensils with any consistency. I highly doubt he'll be wanting to give up his diapers anytime soon. :lol:

[willa]

My personal opinion is much as everyone else's - I don't feel it's a good idea to start potty training so close to a major life event for a toddler especially a new baby in the house. It's better to wait at least 6 months. He'll let you know when he's ready - he'll be more curious, wanting to watch dad, & start asking questions. So, don't stress about it. My situation was very similar to yours & I had to firmly but gently remind those criticizing that my husband & I were the parents & we felt we knew what was best for our family. If they persisted, I would jokingly suggest that they move in for a while &take responsibility - they usually got the message at that point.
When my girls did decide they were ready, it was a quick process. It took my older one longer, but what seemed like an eternity to me . My youngest one actually came in one day & told me she didn't want to wear diapers anymore - I think she was 2-1/2. We switched her to panties & she had maybe 3 or 4 accidents the first week then that was that. Each child is different so you just never know.
I also found the potty chairs a huge waste of money. My kids wouldn't even use it as a chair & my grandson absolutely hated the thing. But, on the other hand, you don't know until you try.
Good luck & don't worry about it. It a it'll happen when it happens type of thing.

[la tortuga]

Get the chair in there and take him with you when you go to the bathroom. It sounds sick, but it works. Boys are SO hard to potty train. My brother is four and he has most of it down, but it's not a complete thing yet. He forgets to go to the bathroom. Don't start him off with underpants until you think he's got it down. Pampers wouldn't hurt, though, they're the same as diapers but the child can pull them down while potty training. When you do get to underwear, though, use a pamper during the night because wetting the bed is going to be an issue for a long time.