Depressed after car accident

[Lemon]

Last Friday I was in a car accident, it was my fault. I was the only one hurt, and my car was the only one destroyed. (it was my small car against a big truck). Physically I'm fine, just a black eye. But mentally I'm really unwell. I'm depressed, nervous about driving, stressed, and I'm afraid that all my family members will get in crashes and die. I keep crying and getting really depressed, but I'm acting like I'm okay in front of everyone else.

My mother is staying with me until the end of this month, but my dad is going back home tomorrow. I feel like I can't let him, like he can never leave me because there's that chance he will get in an accident.

I don't know what to do, I'm just so sad and nervous all the time.

[airmist]

Ouch, Lemon. I'll ask the spirits to help you know you are really ok.

You say quite forthrightly that the accident was your fault. Good for you. I'm sorry you made whatever mistake you made. But you aren't hiding from it or exercising denial by blaming someone else. Those are the real mistakes you could have made.

I understand and have felt the same fears you are suffering from. I was in an accident where a truck rear ended me while I was stopped and he was doing 40. It took the fire department's jaws of life to get me and my daughter out. (We were both uninjured fortunately.)

For almost a year I panicked if I saw any vehicle on my tail, even if far enough back. I would dream of my daughter screaming. If I heard a child crying, I sometimes would remember the accident. I kept thinking about being in the hospital unable to remember what happened.

It took almost a year, but the fears all left. Make sure you talk about your fears. There is nothing wrong with you for having them. Just outwait them. Share them with people you trust and who will support you. They will go and you will be ok.

[Cat]

The first thing is to talk to your parents and tell them honestly what is going on. Then go and see your doctor and make sure that this reaction is not from some physical head trauma, since you got a black eye. I very much doubt it--but I don't know you, can't see you, and IMO its better safe than sorry. When the doc clears you, you can talk to him/her about getting some help coping with the accident.

[SSanf]

Have you been out driving? The cowboys used to say that when you got thrown by a horse, you had to get back in the saddle and ride.

[Lemon]

I guess on the papers from the emergency room it says that depression and anxiety are normal for awhile. But, I'm missing school today. I can't stop crying. It doesn't help that I'm missing one lens from my glasses, so I can't really see. That's really bad for a photography student.

I don't feel like I can get behind the wheel again just yet. I can't even go by the accident site without breaking down. Just being the passenger in a car freaks me out. But, my mom is staying with me for 3 weeks, so hopefully by then I'll be able to.

[SSanf]

You really MUST get back out and drive!!! Even if you just go around a parking lot, you have to screw up your courage and do it. The longer you put it off the harder it will be.

Just go do it! Get on that horse and ride again or you may never be able to do it again or, at least, not for years.

Listen to me about this! Face your fears and conquer your demons. When you do, your depression will take care of itself.

Almost everyone has accidents. Usually, we walk away having learned a valuable lesson to be more careful.

Now, get those glasses fixed, today, and get out there and drive that car.

[Lemon]

I know I really really need to, and once I get my glasses fixed tomorrow I'll try. The main issue is that every time I'm in a car I think I hear sirens. See, I was hit by a fire truck because I didn't hear or see them coming. Now I'm really paranoid about hearing sirens when I'm in a car. I haven't told my parents this because every 5 min. I would be saying, "Are those sirens? Pull over...those are sirens, right? Can't you hear them?"

I'm just afraid that when I go out there and drive I'll be pulling over all the time, which really isn't good to do with other cars around.

[Brigid Rowan]

Ok, reality time. Millions of people drive everyday and are not plowed into by a firetruck (or any other siren bearing vehicle). You need to tell yourself that. The chances of it happening to you again are very small. Very. You brain is fritzing out, you must remind it about logic, probability, and chill it out.

The longer you stew about this at home, and the more wired you get, the worse it is for your health and sanity. You had an accident. So what? It was a mistake, and guess what? Everyone makes mistakes. Don't keep throwing yourself on the sword over it. No one was seriously injured, and that is a wonderful blessing. From now on, promise yourself you will pay more attention, and realize you will likely be a better and more observant driver because of this whole experiance.

[Lemon]

Ok, here's an update. My mother is going to get me behind the wheel starting on Monday. Yea, it seems a couple days away, but I have to wait for my vision to be better. (contacts aren't working, and I haven't got my new glasses yet).

Wish me good luck!

[darkchild]

Good luck to you.

I know how traumatizing it can be to deal with an accident like that.

I had to regain my confidence in my ability to drive after an accident that I was in. It wasn't even my fault, but it taught me a lot about responsibilty as far as driving a vehicle is concerned.

It can take some time, just allow yourself to remember how capable you actually are.

I agree with Brigid Rowan.

Just learn from it and go on.

[dragoncrone]

I was in a motorcycle accident back in the 60s, and for weeks I couldn't even stand for people to WALK too close to me!

Not only is driving without your glasses/contacts NOT a good idea, but absolutely you should be given the green light by your doctor before driving. When these things happen, our muscles get sore and stiff - which can prevent being able to turn your head and be aware of traffic.

Once you are BOTH mentally and physically sharp, then by all means get on the road. Peace and Blessings!!!

[Lemon]

I was in a motorcycle accident back in the 60s, and for weeks I couldn't even stand for people to WALK too close to me!

Not only is driving without your glasses/contacts NOT a good idea, but absolutely you should be given the green light by your doctor before driving. When these things happen, our muscles get sore and stiff - which can prevent being able to turn your head and be aware of traffic.

Once you are BOTH mentally and physically sharp, then by all means get on the road. Peace and Blessings!!!

Yea, I know I was in a lot of pain with my shoulder for the first 3-5 days. But, that's starting to get better. Mentally, I've been improving. I was in shock for a day or two, then a deep depression, and now I'm just full of anxiety. I have a large fine to pay and all that jazz, so I've been worrying a lot. But things are gonna get better and I'll start off slowly with the driving. I'm not going to start driving by that intersection I had the accident at, that would just bring on a panic attack. lol.

[Lunadria]

:hugz: to you. A co worker of mine was involved in an accident a couple of weeks ago, pretty similar circumstances. She was a mess until very recently. It's ok to be depressed and panicy, it's a tramatic event and it takes time to heal yourself emotionally. Don't rush with it otherwise you'll do yourself more harm than good. Do you have a good circle of friends you can speak to? Talking is a great healer. If you need someone to listen I am only a PM away.

[Lunar Raven]

It's good to hear that you're going to start driving soon..that is very important.

I understand that it can be traumatic, but as someone said, no one was seriously injured, and that is something to be extremely happy and greatfull about, not sad. Just remember, don't dwell on your mistakes, and don't let fear control anything you do. Simply learn from your mistake, and move on. Once you get out there and drive, I guarantee you will be 100% more alert than you were before..and this will simply make you a better and more controlled driver.

Good luck, and face your fear. This will be way behind you in no time.