View Full Version : Argh!! In Laws...

November 13th, 2007, 09:47 PM
So my husband takes our 6month old son over to his grandmothers place where they're helping her install carpet or something. Mike's (my husband) mother is there, aunts (one REALLY pushy one) and some cousins as well. I stayed at home cuz I had other things I needed to take care of.

Anyway, this past weekend was Mike's bday so they had a little cake for him. Well, the grandmother starts giving our son icing off her finger .... And as far as I know my MIL did as well. Then they start in about solids and how we should be doing it now! I mean I wasnt there but I heard this from not only Mike but another aunt that was there who knows what I'm up against with this family... (long story) The grandmother fed her kids egg whites and "they turned out fine" ...... So she doesnt see any prblm with feeding anything to babies .... Luke's teeth are developing, and they're feeding him icing??? I'm not okay with that but no one seems to care what the mother of child thinks because they just do it anyway....Without letting me know!

My MIL was even going to start Luke on solids without me know about it!!! She went out and bought rice cereal and spoons and everything the night Luke was to stay over at her place! I couldnt believe it!! And Mike just seems oblivious to it all.....

Sorry, just needed to vent a little

November 13th, 2007, 10:09 PM
Argh! How annoying! The audacity! I mean the bit of icing is one thing, but going ahead and buying whatever cereal and utensils?

My MIL loves feeding my son too and wants to buy all the feeding stuff but at least she asks me what's ok and makes sure to buy the foods/formula we do.

November 13th, 2007, 10:14 PM
If they did it once who's to say it's not going to happen again? I dont want my kid having alot of sugar EVER and this family LOVES sugar! I mean, he's only 6months old and they're already starting to give it to him!!!!

How can I trust Luke in their care now, knowing that they might feed him something that I dont approve of???

November 13th, 2007, 10:18 PM
I told my mother that recomendations had changed a lot and she raised me using the best information she had in 1967 and I'm raising mine using the best information we have now, including the fact that we know we should start breast fed babies on foods like banana and alvacado and it's formula fed babies who should start on rice cereal. There isn't anything wrong with what she did with her own babies however many years ago, but research has caused numerous changes in recommendations since then. Also think long and hard bedore this baby has a great deal of contact with your MIL without you being there since she seems determined to do things her way.

November 13th, 2007, 10:24 PM
The good news is that he doesnt spend a whole lot of time over there anyway. But she's his Nana and I do want them to bond and get to know each other it's just that she can be so..... pushy sometimes ..... It's not just her though, there are three others (none of whom have much contact with Luke so I'm not complaining about that)

November 13th, 2007, 11:20 PM
I can definitely understand how you feel. Seems like you should talk to Mike and have him talk to them. Usually best to get the guy to talk to his own family.

November 14th, 2007, 12:13 AM
Wow!!!! When did my mother have a son named Mike that I didn't know about?!?!?!?!
Bless your heart, you're dealing with your in-laws and they sound just like my mother! My mother is constantly doing/saying crap like that about my nieces. This last go around when she pulled a "WELL, I gave 'such and such' to all three of you and YOU turned out JUST FINE" out of her hat, I told her: "Well mom....just because you did that with us doesn't make it the RIGHT thing to do; it just means that you got lucky."

Now..on another note that is completely unrelated to this....

Weren't you asking for slow cooker recipes? There is a book (and a recipe a day calendar) called "Fix It And Forget It". This book (and calendar) is a book of nothing but recipes for the Crock Pot/Slow Cooker and the recipes are FABULOUS! My husband and I bought the calendar and said we are going to start using it the last week of December.....we're going to take all the recipes for the first week of January, make our grocery list from them and then go grocery shopping.....then we will start on Jan. 1 with the recipe for that day and work our way through the calendar. I highly recommend the book!

November 14th, 2007, 12:21 AM
Yes, that was me! Thanks, I'll have to go and look for that book! It sounds good. Thank you!!!

November 14th, 2007, 12:27 AM
while it's annoying.. it is the general behavior of grandparents to slide in sugar and annoy the parents....

let it go if you can....

have a gentle talk with her if you can't... i'm sure you will get "Well i did X and it worked out fine..." come back with "Well i'm sure that's right, but Mike and I (stress that your hubby supports you) want to do this, and WE are sure you want to support us doing what we feel is best in THIS instance."

be prepared to be undercut a little anyway.... its the unique position of grandparents to be sugar assholes.

November 14th, 2007, 02:00 AM
yup.... pretty well sums up gparents and inlaws....

i was like that with my first kid- i was a freak about everything. you know- not double dipping in the baby food jar... waiting one week before trying a new kind of baby food- i had a little chart of foods i was starting him on- i wrote down what it was, how much he ate, the date, his reaction... everything...
same with milk- i used a measuring cup to get exactly 1/4 cup milk and the rest formula and the 1/2 cup and then 3/4 cup and then we took the huge scary step of straight milk.... then other things- the dogs were trained not to go in his room b/c of germs and hair and stuff.... my inlaws---- no sense of any of this. it was a nightmare- especially since i lived with them!!! she wanted to give him the dessert baby food jars- you know the pudding crap... then she wanted him to try kool-aid b/c it tastes good...
I about killed myself.... then he got a little older (about 1 1/2) and i chilled out...

kid #2- she was born very sick- heart defect and other crap.... i'm not near as worried about her for what ever reason- the dogs lick her up one side and down the other when we come in... have since she was 6 months old "old enough to be on the floor". Shes 10 months now (see siggy).
We've started putting strawberry syrup in her bottles b/c she wont finish them and she's so skinny (14.5 lbs) and she needs the calories from the formula- the strawberry calories dont hurt either. lol...
and i would have been thrilled to have a MIL actually buy something for my kids when they're staying over there. we have to bring diapers, clothes, bottles, cups, utensils, medications- anything they could possibly need, food- even for my 2 yr old that eats 'real food'- we have to send him with a happy meal or something... it sucks....

anyway--- i think a talk and a breath might help.... try talking to her...
hope things get better...


November 14th, 2007, 04:06 AM
I think I'd be mad too... why would they choose to go against you rather than support you? I would definitely ask hubby to have a quiet word!!

November 14th, 2007, 02:07 PM
I think it's just what they do. They dont think about it they just do it. They dont seem to always understand that Luke is not their kid, he's mine. They dont see that what they're doing might be wrong, to me anyway. That I may not approve. It doesnt enter their heads. Although with the icing incident, Mike's mother whispered to him the other night "Did you tell her about the icing?" which I over heard. But she whispered it!!! Why would she whisper it???