My cousin is adopting

[Amethyst Rose]

I just found out (by reading his blog, no less...really close we are, can you tell? heh), that my cousin and his wife are adopting a sibling group of 2 (4 years of age, maximum) from Kenya.

In the last 3 months they've completed their homestudy, and now are working on their dossier, which they are 65% done.

Once that paperwork is done and sent to the Kenyan government, they should have their kids within 3-12 months.

I think it's great that they're doing it, however it is a bit of a shock. The last I heard they had finally decided to start a family of their own (biologically). However, my cousin's wife is diabetic so I knew that may be a consideration for her.

Anyway, has anyone here ever done or looked into international adoption?

I will consider adoption for myself, assuming we can afford the adoption process as well as another kid, of an older child (6 maybe?) maybe ten years down the road, to round out our family.

[Brónach Druid]

Congratulations to your cousin!

I have never looked into the process, but I did have neighbors who adopted two girls from China. They were not siblings and were adopted a few years apart. It didn't seem like it was an overly difficult process or long wait for them.

I have never quite understood why some people adopt from other countries.....in the US anyway there are so many children waiting to be adopted, it seemed kind of sad to me that they would go outside the country to adopt. Maybe it is less expensive or something? I don't know those people where both pharmacist and had money! My cousin and his wife have adopted five children, but from here. They do not have a lot of money so I don't know if that had anything to do with it. The adoption process for them was fairly easy and quick too.

[Amethyst Rose]

I don't know why, really. I asked him why Kenya (I meant, as opposed to other countries like China), but I think he kinda took offence, because his answer was, "Why not?"

I looked into it and where my cousin lives it costs between 18K and 50K to buy, err I mean adopt, a child internationally. While it's around 15k for domestic adoption. And this is not private adoption - legislation passed in 1997 in B.C., where my cousin lives, eliminated private adoption and they must now be done through non-profit agencies.

[la tortuga]

Well, I know a lot of people won't adopt babies that were born in the US because a shocking percentage of them are actually crack babies. I worked in the NICU with a few of them here in town and they stayed in the NICU until they were a few months old so CPS could figure out something to do with them...

Sad, isn't it? My mom always said charity starts at home, and yet no one wants what's at home...

[Sun Sprite]

I'd be glad to adopt from home, even a child who had suffered, simply because i had as a child, and i understand the pain and fear. However, my husband and I were turned down by the state five years ago, and have been trying again for almost a year now. The homestudy (which is required to be completed in 30 days) is still not complete over six months after we finished the adoption classes! They are too busy keeping kids in bad homes to follow their own rules.

Due to health considerations on my part, I could never take a child unable to walk, so infants are out for me, which includes all regular adoption agencies, not to mention we don't have sevreal tens of thousands of dollars to "buy" the adopted child. I have met adult adoted children who found out how much their parents paid to adopt them, and ended up feeling like they were just a "thing" their parents had to buy. It's sad really.

[RainInanna]

In Canada, what I've read says with public domestic adoption you generally can wait about 8 years if you want an infant. I'm surprised you mentioned a cost for it though, everything I've read says there is little to none for public domestic.

With international you could have an infant within a year, there are many more babies waiting, and the care in other countries is poorer then here. The rules tend to be looser, and there's less chance of a mother changing her mind since most are abandoned and live in orphanages.

In domestic adoptions there is a better process and greater chance that mothers and families will try to get their baby back, which is seen as better for the child, but also results in a lot of legal red tape. In the case of the boy we want to adopt, for instance, his entire first year was spent in care while his mother had a chance to reform and regain custody. After that the process of her losing legal custody took 4 months. During his second year at least two adoption requests were put in - they have to be done separately, cannot be done concurrently - and fell through. It would seem the system is rather backlogged and not easy to get through - without getting into too many details, even as a family member I spent over three weeks trying to get someone to answer my messages about adopting him, and even then we went over several heads and contacted another group for assistance (the actual adoption itself could take as little as six weeks and so far as I know now will only require paperwork to be completed and processed).

As to diabetes during pregnancy... It's possible to have an uncomplicated pregnancy but blood sugar control to a certain level for a few months prior to TTC is required as well as for the first trimester. Blood sugar levels can easily be affected by hormones during pregnancy, and completely thrown into chaos by morning sickness, cravings, etc. And in the first trimester blood sugar irregularity can cause a multitude of problems including miscarriage. Eyes, kidneys, heart, and a complete medical exam by an endicronologist prior to TTC are needed. I would guess your cousin's wife was unable to keep her blood sugars level while waiting to TTC.

[Amethyst Rose]

Well, I got an answer to my 'why' question from my cousin...I think it's a very good one, though some people would say it never really answers the question. :)

He said:


Good question, Cuz... When we decided that adoption was for us, Kenya was always front and center in my mind. We also looked at Ethiopia and South Africa, but Kenya was certainly in my heart and on my mind. Truth be told, 10 months ago I wasn't crazy about the adoption scene. I wanted my own kids first, and then I'd think about it. In March, I saw a film called "Invisible Children" and it really was the catalyst that opened my eyes to adoption. The children in this movie are Ugandan, but I felt really called to look into Kenya. And I make no bones about it, I was called to do this. God gave me a 180 degree change of heart, from "no kids but my own" to "My kids are waiting for me in Kenya." That's the really long-winded answer :) The short answer is, "The is no reason, It's just seems natural to be adopting from there."

[Brigid Rowan]

"My kids are waiting for my in Kenya"...

That letter brought tears to my eyes. He is gonna be an awesome daddy.

[Athena-Nadine]

Congratulations to your cousin!

I have never looked into the process, but I did have neighbors who adopted two girls from China. They were not siblings and were adopted a few years apart. It didn't seem like it was an overly difficult process or long wait for them.

I have never quite understood why some people adopt from other countries.....in the US anyway there are so many children waiting to be adopted, it seemed kind of sad to me that they would go outside the country to adopt. Maybe it is less expensive or something? I don't know those people where both pharmacist and had money! My cousin and his wife have adopted five children, but from here. They do not have a lot of money so I don't know if that had anything to do with it. The adoption process for them was fairly easy and quick too.

My BIL and his wife adopted our nephew this past May. He was adopted in the US. It took them over 2 years just to get to the point where they could start finding a match and cost them over $100,000. Adopting babies and toddlers in the US is extremely expensive, often prohibitively so. If you are matched up with a woman who is pregnant, you also have to help her with her expenses if necessary. That includes medical bills, rent, food, and even spending money. Also, in the US, parents adopting out their children have the option to require those adoptions to be open. Not everyone wants to or can handle that.

Two of my husband's best friends and their wives adopted internationally. One adopted from China (they are infertile) and the other from Russia (she has Type 1 diabetes and decided a second pregnancy would be too much on her body--they had a biological son already). Both times it took less than a year for them to get their children and cost half as much. But those aren't the only reasons they chose to go out of the country. They also didn't want open adoptions. The couple who adopted their first daughter from China just got word that they have another daughter in China waiting for them the same day my daughter was born. :D They will be leaving after the new year to get her.

[Brónach Druid]

Well, I got an answer to my 'why' question from my cousin...I think it's a very good one, though some people would say it never really answers the question. :)

He said:
Good question, Cuz... When we decided that adoption was for us, Kenya was always front and center in my mind. We also looked at Ethiopia and South Africa, but Kenya was certainly in my heart and on my mind. Truth be told, 10 months ago I wasn't crazy about the adoption scene. I wanted my own kids first, and then I'd think about it. In March, I saw a film called "Invisible Children" and it really was the catalyst that opened my eyes to adoption. The children in this movie are Ugandan, but I felt really called to look into Kenya. And I make no bones about it, I was called to do this. God gave me a 180 degree change of heart, from "no kids but my own" to "My kids are waiting for me in Kenya." That's the really long-winded answer The short answer is, "The is no reason, It's just seems natural to be adopting from there."


That is a very nice response! I guess for some it is just a matter of what seems right, a calling, or whatever you want to call it. :)

My BIL and his wife adopted our nephew this past May. He was adopted in the US. It took them over 2 years just to get to the point where they could start finding a match and cost them over $100,000. Adopting babies and toddlers in the US is extremely expensive, often prohibitively so. If you are matched up with a woman who is pregnant, you also have to help her with her expenses if necessary. That includes medical bills, rent, food, and even spending money. Also, in the US, parents adopting out their children have the option to require those adoptions to be open. Not everyone wants to or can handle that.

Two of my husband's best friends and their wives adopted internationally. One adopted from China (they are infertile) and the other from Russia (she has Type 1 diabetes and decided a second pregnancy would be too much on her body--they had a biological son already). Both times it took less than a year for them to get their children and cost half as much. But those aren't the only reasons they chose to go out of the country. They also didn't want open adoptions. The couple who adopted their first daughter from China just got word that they have another daughter in China waiting for them the same day my daughter was born. :D They will be leaving after the new year to get her.

That is very interesting, I guess my cousins just kind of got lucky then. I don't know what the total cost was for their adoptions, but all five where under the age of 4 when they adopted them. The first three where babies, the last two one was older as the last two are natural siblings that they adopted together. Its a shame that the process can be so long and expensive when there are so many children in need of homes and so many people who would love to have them. :(


* Sorry Amethyst Rose! I did not mean to hi-jack your thread with my question.