Depression in a Small Child

[Lunacie]

My granddaughter, who just turned 6 a couple of weeks ago, and has been diagnosed with Autism or possibly very severe ADD, has been very unhappy for the last month and it's only getting worse. Nothing makes her happy anymore, she doesn't want to go to school, she doesn't enjoy anything or want to go to playland, I think she only goes outside to play with her sister because she is jealous of her sister.

I've been looking for information on depression in small children, and say drugs are the last resort after therapy. We're already doing therapy and she's only getting worse. Going to talk to the therapist about this on Thursday night, but that means we still have 3 more mornings to get her up and dressed and off to school. ACK.

Please send some energy for her to kick this depression and begin feeling better. I hate to see her so unhappy, and it's affecting all of us, making us all edgy and unhappy. Thank you

[1111]

Hugs, Lunacie!

Is there anyway to make getting ready and going to school into a game for her? Allow her to be in charge of getting ready and going there. Like say picking out her outfit or something like that?

Or rewarding her for getting through the day at school once she is back with you? It is such a hard diagnosis and they need so much to make them feel in charge and in control and the smallest thing will screw up an entire day for them.

Good luck until you see the therapist.

1111

[RainInanna]

Thinking good thoughts for your little granddaughter.

[Catiana]

:hugz: energy sent

[DreamSpell333]

:hugz: Energy sent to her! :)

[Philosophia]

Here are some sites that may help you:
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/welcome/conditions/depression.html
http://www.ncpamd.com/cadepress.htm
http://www.medicinenet.com/depression_in_children/article.htm
http://www.healthyplace.com/site/childhood_psychiatric_disorders.asp

Sending positive, healing, and comforting energy to her, you, and family! :hugz:

[Lady_Door]

Sending comforting energies.

Maybe you should look into making changes in her diet. Something in her diet may be making her not feel well.

I would definitely try and make a game of it in the mornings. If she gets on a routine she enjoys, it will be easier.

[Cat]

Energy sent.

If she is getting worse in therapy, it's time to find a new therapist. With a child that young, I'd suggest you go either the family therapy or behavioral therapy route. Just my two cents' worth there.

Beyond that, the best antidepressant there is, is exercise. Try to get her up and moving. Give her any positives you can too--I don't mean rewards, I mean praise, fun times together, 'I love you's, etc. Try to focus on the positives in her and in her life. Find her strengths and her health and make them better and stronger.

[Lunacie]

Thanks for the responses. ( I can't give karma to some of you - so here's a karma poke for all of you... :fpoke: )

1111, I do lay out her jeans, socks and shoes and then let her choose her shirt. Too many choices are overwhelming - she hates being asked questions all the time. The biggest battle over getting dressed is what shoes she's going to wear. She loves her mock crocs (three pair, lime green, light pink and orange) and hates it when there's snow or ice and she has to wear her boots or sport shoes. Yeah, the smallest thing can turn their whole day on it's ear, and there's no way to predict what that thing might be. It can be like walking though a minefield.


RainInnana - Catiana - DreamSpell, I appreciate the good thoughts and energy.


Philosophia, thanks for the links, those are different than the ones I found yesterday. I do wonder if more kids actually have symptoms of depression these days or if it's just that we are more aware of depression in general. Like how they say more kids have ADD and Autism nowadays, but actually it's just that those are recognized issues now where kids just used to be called "slow" or "retarded."


Lady Door, we have been working with her diet. We tried a gluten free diet and that didn't help. We cut out all fruit because of allergies on her dad's side of the family, which has helped with the bathroom issues, but maybe it's time to introduce fruit again, one fruit per month. Fruit is usually good for us, eh? And she really misses fruit. Probably start with bananas, and leave citrus till the last option. I hope we don't have to try a casein free diet!!!


Cat, I think it may be normal to go through stages like this when you start seeing a therapist. I know her big sister has gotten worse because we are giving so much more attention to the little one now, and the little one may not be comfortable with being the center of so much attention. We have started to divide the weekly hour - with the first half hour for the little one and the last half hour for the big one (who has ADD). George is a family therapist, and he has been very helpful in getting us all to see what each other is trying to do, and to work together better (mommy and me at home, and daddy at his house on weekends). Which is causing more changes for the little one to deal with and Autistic kids aren't good with changes.

Exercise sounds like a good suggestion, I'll give some thought to ideas to get us all moving (which is hard for mommy and me because we have Fibromyalgia but it will probably help us too).


Nove'Mber was so tired and cranky last night that she fell asleep right before supper. She woke up at one point still wearing her school clothes and asked if she could wear the same shirt to school again today. Mommy said of course, since that's the most interest she's shown in school since going to the Pumpkin Patch at Halloween. Mommy has been playing more games with both of them in the evening, but it's hard to find a game that's simple enough for Nove'Mber and is still interesting to Katlin (who's almost 10 now).

[dragoncrone]

OK - I'm going out on a limb here and suggest that you have the doctor check her thyroid.
I had a VERY sluggish thyroid not only as a child but for most of my adult life, and it can really mess with emotions as well as metabolism.
I never had much energy, didn't feel like playing real hard, didn't want to get up in the mornings, and had some gastro-intestinal issues for years. Plus relatively small things would plunge me into profound sadness for long periods of time.

Just a thought. Blessings and Strength to you all. :)

[RainInanna]

Yeah, the smallest thing can turn their whole day on it's ear, and there's no way to predict what that thing might be. It can be like walking though a minefield.

Poor baby. I know how it feels when the slightest change seems insurmountable. I hope she is feeling better soon. I hope you are *all* feeling better soon.

[Lunacie]

DragonCrone, that is something to ask the doctors about. The family doc was getting a little cranky when I asked him if we could do a test for celiac's sprue on both girls after the little one tested very low the first time (we don't have health insurance and they are covered by Kansas Healthwave Ins), he said the tests are too expensive. I don't know what a thyroid test would cost, but we are surely looking at finding whatever help we can for the little one.


RainInnana, yeah I've been in a place where any change was uncomfortable as well. Even wondered for a while if I had a more serious neuroligical issue than ADHD or Depression. We try to keep things regular and predictable for her, but I know things about school can't always be very predictable. Things like a substitute bus driver or a substitute teacher, or even different helpers in the classroom or a desk-mate missing because of illness can probably throw her off.

I've tried to work on a routine for when she gets home from school but she really wants her mommy then and mommy isn't always home from work when the bus gets here. It's difficult for mommy because she needs to spend some time when she gets home writing up her case notes before she forgets everything over the day. I think I'll suggest that she goes to her BF's house to write up her notes without the girls distracting her and wanting her attention so she should be able to do them quicker, and then she can get home and spend some time and attention on the girls. While we're waiting the girls and I can go for a walk or something.


Thanks again for the energies and the ideas. :hugz:

[RainInanna]

Yes it seems like you are doing your best and I have much respect for you and her mommy. Not being able to make everything smooth and comfortable for our little one is so so hard. It is most certainly the hardest part of motherhood to me, wanting so desperately to hold on and protect while having to let go and let the child live with all the road bumps. May some of the holiday spirit magically brighten this up for you.

[Lunacie]

Thank you. I know I kick myself for not doing better. Talking to others reminds me that we're doing the best we can now, and we are both looking for support and information online so we can do even better in helping both girls as well as going to the therapist once a week.

Their daddy would not listen to us about these issues, was one of those people who thinks ADD is just an excuse for being lazy. But going to the therapist has helped him to see the light and to realize how much trouble the girls are having - and how much harder it is for us to get them through the week here with school than it is for him to have them on the weekend with no pressure. The therapist calls it "Disneyland Daddy Snydrome."

[1111]

Ran across this today:

http://209.200.89.252/Search_site/detail.cfm?program_id=14770

[Lunacie]

Ran across this today:

http://209.200.89.252/Search_site/detail.cfm?program_id=14770

Thank you. We already knew about Rainbows, but that seems to be for preschoolers. Looks like the ARC chapter might be helpful although they may only serve Sedgwick County and we are in a suburb just one mile over the county line in the next county. There is very little available in our county, and what there is we'd have to drive further to reach. Kinda sucks.

[BlackLili]

Everyone's made some great points here. I just wanted to offer my continued encouragement and hugs. You're being so strong to deal with all of this, just know you're always welcome here to vent your spleen and get some energy. :hugs:

[Lunacie]

We parked at the far end of the mall last night (so we could find a parking space) and walked through the crowds (I got run over by a mom with a stroller!) in order for the little one to see Santa Claus and for the big one to pick a name off the Angel Tree.

Santa looked more like the old version of Father Christmas, an older fellow who wasn't a "jolly fat elf." The little one got in her hug and was happy, but then she threw a fit because she wanted mommy to rent a stroller so she could take a ride (they look like little red sports cars - never mind that mommy actually drives a real little red sports car) and she was throwing such a fit that we forgot to look for the Angel Tree and pick a name.

Bah Hu... I mean "HO HO HO!"

Mommy was on the phone with Daddy at the time and the little one started to run towards the rent-a-strollers yelling and screaming - and I snagged her by the coat and yelled sharply "Stop that!" Then got down on her level and talked to her very calmly, reminding her that mommy had told her if she or her sister acted bad in the mall we would walk straight out and go straight home - and that I would give her a spanking when we got home if she didn't stop throwing a fit.

She immediately said she was sorry and that she didn't want a spanking (hm, maybe we've been being too easy on her?) and Mommy told her she could go and look at the carts but we were on our way out to the car and were not going to rent a cart, and she agreed to that. Then my daughter told me that some people across the hallway had turned to look when I yelled at Nove'Mber to make her hear me above her own yelling and watched to see what I was doing. Good to know people pay attention and also good that they realized they didn't need to call 911. :lol:

[LadyCelt]

prayers sent

[PrincessKLS]

Has she been depressed due to diagnosis?

[RainInanna]

Their daddy would not listen to us about these issues, was one of those people who thinks ADD is just an excuse for being lazy. But going to the therapist has helped him to see the light and to realize how much trouble the girls are having - and how much harder it is for us to get them through the week here with school than it is for him to have them on the weekend with no pressure. The therapist calls it "Disneyland Daddy Snydrome."

I'm glad their daddy is starting to see the light. Otherwise I'm sure I'd feel the desire to slap him upside the head repeatedly were I you.

[Brightshores]

I don't have any ideas or suggestions, but wanted to offer :hugz: and I hope your granddaughter finds a happier place soon.

[Lunacie]

Has she been depressed due to diagnosis?

I'm not sure what you're asking... has she been diagnosed as being depressed? No. Or did she hear the therapist say she might be depressed so that's how she's been acting? No

However, last Thursday I was sick and stayed home but my daughter talked to the therapist about how unhappy Nove'Mber has been, and she may seem to be playing but she really hears whatever is talked about during that hour, and she's been better this past week. Of course that may be because she's been out of school and she really isn't enjoying school right now. She doesn't go back to school until next Thursday, so maybe she can find her "happy place" and stay there for a little while.

I've been talking to another parent of a kindergartener (who also works in a school) and she feels it's fairly common for kids this age to go through this stage. So Nove' is probably going through all the normal stages, but her reactions to them are slightly skewed and more pronounced than most kids.

Thank you all again for the good thoughts and positive energies as we learn how to help her simply cope with the things that most kids pretty much breeze through.

[PrincessKLS]

Oh, I was trying to ask, is she depressed possibly due to being diagnosed with ADD or Autism?

[Lunacie]

Oh I see. She is only 6 years old. In some ways she seems very mature and has learned so much in school already. But in many ways she is at least 2 years behind most 6 year olds. So, was she aware enough of what we were talking about to realize that she really does have some serious problems? That is possible, and I remember all too well how kids worry when they know there's a problem but don't really understand what it all means.

She may also have S.A.D. like her gramma (me), and to a lesser extent her mom. Or she may just be picking up on our less-than-cheerful moods due to the time of year.

And she may have migraine headaches which also run in the family. I remember hearing stories about my dad being so little he wasn't even in school yet and just disappearing. Grammy Kyle would go looking for him and find him in bed with his pillow over his head to block out the light and the noise.

Because she only started talking when she was 4 and still has trouble expressing herself, it's hard to tell what might be troubling her. When things bother her too much she generally lashes out instead of talking or complaining about it. When she came home from kindergarten last year with her arm broken she wasn't saying anything about it hurting, she was just holding onto it and looking sad.

[PrincessKLS]

Oh I see.

[kotu]

have you asked why she is unhappy? you may be the right person to ask

[Lunacie]

Yes, I have asked her why she is unhappy. I'm not sure if she knows the reason herself. As I say, I've talked to someone else who has a 5 year old and works in the school system and she thinks this is a pretty common stage for kids this age. School isn't as new or exciting as it started out being, there is more work to it every day it seems. Add to that we are just a moody kind of family and well...

She's also gone back to wanting to wear a pullup instead of panties and not wanting to use the bathroom. **sigh** I think it may be just a case of two steps forward and one step back, and that she will regain this lost ground again.

We are certainly taking a "hands on" "crash course" in Autism.

[1111]

:hugz: