A Question of ethics...

[Lavender]

I need your opinion on something...

Quite a few of my family are Christians...veeery strong Christians. They know that I don't have the same beliefs as they do & am not a Christian. But after all these years, they don't accept that I'm a pagan & a witch at that. Never hiden anything but they just don't want to see...y'know...if I don't look at it, it's not there kind of thing.

The thing is, a lot of times, I would be asked by various family members to pray for them or someone else. I can't pray to their god but I would like to light a candle & say a blessing for them in my own way. Is this wrong of me to do this?

I never do magic for someone that doesn't know it. Usually, when I do something for someone, it's because they've asked me & they know what I am.

I guess my question is: If they expect me to pray for them to their god, & I pray to my goddess, would that be wrong of me? Hope I'm making sense here.

[Vinga]

I don't think it's wrong at all. Even in the Christian faith there are many different ways of praying, some pray directly to their God and others pray to patron saints like the Virgin Mary.
I have many friends of varous belief systems and when one of them asks for help with prayer or healing energies or white light or what have you, I usually light a white candle and send a positive thought (or 'my kind of prayer') out for which ever God or Goddess best suited to pick up. Perhaps it is theirs perhaps it is mine, but whoever, it is the right one for the situation at hand.
I agree though, that it's not right to use spells or magick for someone that strongly disapproves of it, even if it's done with the best intentions.
Just my humble opinion :).

[Xois]

nope
I don't think its wrong! I often ask my christian relatives to ramp up the ol' prayer circle when I am in need

as well as lighting all the bloody candles that I can ! I figure it can't hurt. Don't tell them if you think it will offend

Xois

[bluecat]

Whether you are praying to your Gods and Goddesses or they are praying to theirs, if a person is in need of Divine Intervention you should not feel bad about doing it or asking for it. While your Christian friends may throw in a little bit or two about your mortal soul, that is okay, they are talking to their God and doing what they believe is the right thing. I am sure many of them would be more than happy to pray for you if you asked, some of them probably already do.

It's not wrong, when someone asks me to pray for them I simply ask the Universe as you would go to a specific God or Goddess and I know that when folks pray for me they are praying to a deity that I do not worship, but they do and it is their belief and their strength in that belief that is important.

Because I have a life threatening condition, I know of many folks who pray for my well being and I appreciate it. it does not matter to me that they may also be praying for me to see their "light." If I am in a public forum when that occurs they get a knowing smile that tells them I have seen my light and it shines very brightly in my spirit. They know that even though Steve is a curmudgeon, he is a nice curmudgeon. :cool:

Blue :cool:

[Lilu]

I agree with what everyone's said so far. In Reiki, there is a principle that you should never send healing to someone without there permission - this makes sense, because if they are opposed to such healing it's a waste of time.

The same goes, imo, for prayer and other sending of energy. If they have asked for your well wishes and prayers then it doesn't matter who you are praying to because the good intent is still there, and their body and their guides will know how to use the energy.

BB
Lilu

[Mariposa De La Luna]

IMHO, and a few others too, it ok to even do a spell for them. Prayer itself is a form of magic, the Christians just don't see/understand it. So if someone asks you for your prayers tell them you will so they'll know and then you can do some magic for them. Its not a conflict which God/dess you choose for they are all facets of the same entity.

[amberlaine]

Hmm,, I have to disagree with SAHM on this one. I dont think its ok to work magick for someone without their permission. And the reason I feel this way is that I feel (and I didnt always feel this way--this is something I"m just coming to terms with) that magick is an attempt to encourage the universe to work our Will--which is not altogether wrong. It doens't *force* the Universe to do anything, but we do kind of whisper to the Univers saying, "Hey, if yo dont mind, would you consider doing X for me, please?"

Prayer, on the other hand, leaves everythin in the hands of God. You tell God your hopes and what you need, and then God works His/HEr will as S/he sees fit.

Therefore, to work a spell for someone withotu permission is like you telling the Universe what you ant--but it may not be what is right for that situation. If a person asks for prayer--sure, I Think its ok to pray to whatever Deity you pray to--but I dont think its ok to work magick for them.

My 2 cents.

[Lavender]

I've read all the replies over & over again. This is something I'll have to mull over a bit. I've written a response several times & ended up deleting it. I'm so glad you guys are here. It's so good to get so many different opinions. I know in the end, it will be my decision but I will consider everything here as well.

Sometimes, reading some of the threads really makes me stop & think of how I stand on certain issues. I've gotten so much in the few short weeks I've been here.

[Rævyn Cigány]

Ack! Bluecat you stole my answer! (Great minds think alike and all that ;)) I will reiterate to point and tell you that my mother (as well as 99% of my family) is very strict Roman Catholic and she asks me constantly, even though she knows I am wiccan, to pray for her or for someone else. I simply tell her that I will, and she is happy with that. Who you beseech for help, no matter what religion, always hears you if you have faith that They will.

In gratitude that I have Her to turn to,

Rae )0(

[Twig]

Originally posted by Wildchild
I guess my question is: If they expect me to pray for them to their god, & I pray to my goddess, would that be wrong of me? Hope I'm making sense here.

You know...actually it's not hard at all. I tell everyone, xtain and pagan alike that I'll say a prayer for "whomever". My prayer consists of lighting a candle, incence, using crystals, etc. I pray to the One, my patron Goddess, and my Guide, all at once. But I only tell the person "I'll say a prayer for them". By doing that, noone is put off or scared that "That crazy druid bastard is going to do some godless ritual about my BABY!!!"

They don't need to know HOW you will pray. The INTENT is all that matters at that point.

Peace,
Twig
:elf:

[Mariposa De La Luna]

Originally posted by amberlaine

Prayer, on the other hand, leaves everythin in the hands of God. You tell God your hopes and what you need, and then God works His/HEr will as S/he sees fit.


I see your point Amberlaine. Prayer, though, can be what you stated or it could be a form of magick. It really depends on the person. If the person just asks their God for help and doesn't necessarily expect it, that's one type. But some visualize what they want when they pray and unconsciously make magick. So depending on the person's personal style of prayer, and it can vary between the two for an individual, you can get a mix of both wether intentional or not.

I would not do something more complex or involved than candle/visualization magick for someone who asked for a prayer.

[Celtic_Angel]

I'm a Catholic and most of the friends I have are pagan. We have asked each other to pray for one another many times. As it has been said by many here before me, it is not who you pray to or how you pray that matters, it is your intent. Sorry if I'm just repeating everyone else, but it is the best answer I can give.

[bluecat]

Originally posted by Celtic_Angel
I'm a Catholic and most of the friends I have are pagan. We have asked each other to pray for one another many times. As it has been said by many here before me, it is not who you pray to or how you pray that matters, it is your intent. Sorry if I'm just repeating everyone else, but it is the best answer I can give.

You have no need to apologize, even if your answer is the same as someone else's answer the person asking the question may want to know how people see this issue. :cool: Many folks just read a post or thread and think to themselves that they have nothing to contribute because they agree with one of the postings or perhaps the thread itself. They do not post, but move on without saying that they agree or disagree and, more importantly, why.

You did just fine. ;) :cool:

Blue :cool:

[Celtic_Angel]

:) Thank you Bluecat! I guess I'm still nervous about adding my Catholic opinion in a pagan community. :)

[Xois]

Celtic_angel

I know I speak for the group when I say you are MORE than welcome! We love having you here!

Xois

[amberlaine]

You're absolutely right, SAHM. And i think that, in that case, its ok. But like you said, I think anything more involved, or anything that imposes my own WIll upon the situation is nt ok.

[bluecat]

Originally posted by Celtic_Angel
:) Thank you Bluecat! I guess I'm still nervous about adding my Catholic opinion in a pagan community. :)

You are Most Welcome!

Blue :cool:

[Ozymandias]

Perfectly allright. Any pryer is good prayer.

[LaDaya]

If they asked you to pray for them than they are basically giving you permission. If they choose not to accept your faith and practices than that is their problem not yours. If they ask than you have to respect that and pray for them in your way not theirs.

[bluecat]

Originally posted by LaDaya
If they asked you to pray for them than they are basically giving you permission. If they choose not to accept your faith and practices than that is their problem not yours. If they ask than you have to respect that and pray for them in your way not theirs.

Very good point LaDaya. :)

Blue :cool:

[gunner]

i hold with the majority here, if i'm asked to pray for someone i don't say anything about to whom i'll pray, i find a quiet moment and speak to my patron for that person without reference to what they, or i believe. and celtic angel, speak freely, you're welcome here, you have shown respect for our beliefs and we return you the same respect.