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cheddarsox
January 13th, 2008, 08:02 AM
I woke up this morning, and, as always, wondered what the day would hold...what the weather would be like, if my son and I would get together, what time it was...and the title of a young adult book came to mind...

"Are you there God? It's me...Margaret" and it struck me, how many times in my life I lay in bed and felt that way..."Is anyone out there?"

And now, when I wake up I sort of do.."Are you there Universe?" even before I open my eyes, and my answer is immediate. I feel the air filling my lungs and the pillow beneath my head and the weight and warmth of blankets on top of me, and I get a warm fuzzy inside. Yes, it's there.

I don't have to wonder into the darkness if God is there, squinting for a sign. I recognize the Divine now, everywhere. And yes, I still have those questions, about the weather and how I will spend my day, but the BIG one, is answered. "YES." it's there.

That means so much to me. It's sometimes the only security I have, but it is really substantial.

RavenStars
January 14th, 2008, 12:29 AM
I wish I could wake up so peacefully! I am not a morning person. When I remember it I do my version of zen mindfulness and just be present. I look at and name everything around me or I follow the stems and leaves of one of my plants with my eyes. It makes me feel rested and alive at the same time. More real maybe. It's a connection to what really is, not all the baggage that clogs my head. It helps me keep perspective.

GabrielWithoutWings
January 14th, 2008, 01:59 AM
Consider yourself lucky, then. I feel abandoned and cosmically alone upon waking or sleeping.

Kudos.

Windsmith
January 15th, 2008, 06:24 PM
Yes! Yes! I was just thinking about something along these lines earlier today. Not having to force myself to believe in anyone or anything I really don't took so much stress off of me. Being able to point to the thing(s) I believe in - to put my arms around What Is (parts of it, anyway!) is very spiritually fulfilling. Knowing that I'm a part of What Is puts me over the moon.

Eleisawolf
January 15th, 2008, 11:49 PM
Gabriel,

Sorry to hear that. I have those days, too. Those are the days when I wish there was a reason for all the pain we suffer and the frustration that surrounds us daily.

Then I realize, I don't really want there to be a reason for suffering, but I would prefer that it's just the way things are, and that I can choose to either drown in it or find the best in it, and no god/dess/s/desses have a need to push me to think otherwise. Thinking that my destiny is all up to me and what I choose to make of it is actually more comforting to me than waiting for guidance from something that works so hard to conceal its existence from those it supposedly loves. I definitely feel comfort in that.

That's part of what I love about my path--it is what I choose to make of it, not what someone is forcing it to be around me. Ultimately, I control whether I am abandoned and alone or empathetic and perseverant.

Peace

cheddarsox
January 16th, 2008, 07:34 AM
Consider yourself lucky, then. I feel abandoned and cosmically alone upon waking or sleeping.

Kudos.

I used to feel that all the time. My awakening to pantheism is what "saved" me...realizing that what I was feeling was my lack of awareness.

I don't think there is anything "out there"...there is What Is. I am part of it. It is solid and real...not mystical and mysterious. I don't have to reach for it, search for it or try to make contact with it. It is gravity and earth, and sun and the asshole driving like a moron in front of me on the way to work.

It is you, and your wry and heartbreaking and belly laugh inducing contributions to this community.

Feeling lost, alone, etc is part of What Is too. It draws us into community, and we need community to survive and for our sanity (though sometimes it seems in opposition to such). When I start to spiral, I realize that my spiraling isn't disconnecting me...it is just another way in which I am connected...part of the human condition.

That doesn't make it all shortcake and donuts...but it does put a different spin on it for me. I may be in pain, and anxiety...but I am not lost...I am experiencing life, and it keeps me from trying to avoid it through self destructive means, and allows me to stay aware during the process.

I like you Gabriel. I'm glad you are here.

Earthwalker
January 17th, 2008, 10:12 AM
I know what you mean Cheddar! While I'm not exclusively Pantheist, my general outlook could be described as such and your post reminded me the reason why that is. So many people are wandering around trying to find some connection to something that sometimes they forget to look for meaning right in front of their faces. Just yesterday as I was driving to work there was a gorgeous sunrise and I couldn't help but think how blessed I am to even exist in this Sacred place!

DandelionDame
January 17th, 2008, 06:56 PM
I'm having a bit of a spiritual identity crisis at the mo' but just had to comment that I love reading the Pantheist threads, especially when I don't know what the heck to think! And this thread is so uplifting.

Thanks for the lift, cheddar, Eleisawolf, and everyone! :hahugh:

spiral
January 18th, 2008, 10:39 AM
I know exactly how you all feel! I love being pantheist because little everyday things that I used to take for granted inspire me. Just sitting outside, watching the sunset, seeing birds in flight feels spiritual to me now :) Sounds a little corny but there you go lol

and :hugz: to you Dandelion, I'm sure everything will become clearer

RavenStars
January 19th, 2008, 12:44 AM
I'm having a bit of a spiritual identity crisis at the mo' but just had to comment that I love reading the Pantheist threads, especially when I don't know what the heck to think! And this thread is so uplifting.

Thanks for the lift, cheddar, Eleisawolf, and everyone! :hahugh:

I agree with you. There is so much... um... holiness on these threads. I'm still pretty wishy-washy, but I know where my heart is—it's buried in the All. "Whatever that is," says my mind. But that's not a new argument!

Eleisawolf
January 19th, 2008, 03:11 PM
I'm having a bit of a spiritual identity crisis at the mo' but just had to comment that I love reading the Pantheist threads, especially when I don't know what the heck to think! And this thread is so uplifting.

Thanks for the lift, cheddar, Eleisawolf, and everyone! :hahugh:

Big huge giant :hugz:

I'm SOOOO glad you're here.

It's an amazing moment to be able to think. It's also an amazing moment to find that you've stopped thinking and can just be. Rare for me, but precious, and more possible when I look at the What Is.

Peace

erika
February 5th, 2008, 10:27 PM
I just wanted to say that I very recently discovered that everything I believe has an actual name - pantheism. I've been studying various paths of paganism for the past 8 years, trying to fit my beliefs in somewhere and nothing ever felt right. I was never comfortable putting a name or face on the Divine because I've always just felt like everything around me is simply a part of that. It's not a seperate entity. It was a relief finding pantheism after years of feeling like I just didn't fit properly in any path.

:) And I often have those moments too where I'll suddenly be completely awestruck by the simplest things - the stars at night, a sunset. My favourite place on the planet is our family cottage in Northern Ontario because ever since I was a child I could just sit there by myself in the middle of nature and just be and when that happens I just feel so... connected to world around me and with it the Divine. I mean when your sitting with your hands rooted in the oldest rocks on earth (the canadian shield)... it's actually a very spiritual experience for me.

Finding this path has just made me feel so at home. It's a wonderful feeling to know all you have to do is look, touch, and realize what's around you to feel connected to that higher power. Expecially after the long road it took to get here!

Julea
February 6th, 2008, 05:22 PM
And now, when I wake up I sort of do.."Are you there Universe?" even before I open my eyes, and my answer is immediate. I feel the air filling my lungs and the pillow beneath my head and the weight and warmth of blankets on top of me, and I get a warm fuzzy inside. Yes, it's there.

I don't have to wonder into the darkness if God is there, squinting for a sign. I recognize the Divine now, everywhere. And yes, I still have those questions, about the weather and how I will spend my day, but the BIG one, is answered. "YES." it's there.

That means so much to me. It's sometimes the only security I have, but it is really substantial.

You've just made me so happy, cheddar. :cutie: Warm fuzzies!