Please, I need advice badly

[Kacie]

PLEASE read the whole thing! I need as much help as I can get! I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.
On Tuesday, I lost my love. He has ended our relationship, and after the deaths of those close to me and plenty of other breakups, I thought there was nothing I couldn't handle. I was wrong. I'm devastated, can't eat, can't stop crying (which is pretty embarrassing at work), can't begin to think of life without him. We had been closer than any two human beings have any right to be, very connected emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The breakup came without warning. His reasons are that he feels he can't handle his own life right now, let alone an intense relationship.

The worst part is that I am positive he's made a grave mistake. He has had huge changes in his life recently and is very distraught as a result of them, and I think he made a rash decision without thinking clearly. I believe with all my heart and soul that whether or not this is forever, we still have a long ways to go. I want so desperately to be there for him right now and support him through this time, and we have such positive influences on each other. We are good for each other and provide each other stability.

So my question is this. I love him so very much, and would never try to use spellcraft to bring him to me against his will. But I truly believe that we belong together and he is mistaken. Is there a spell or anything out there that can help him see clearly what he has thrown away? I do not wish to deceive or manipulate him, only to open his heart to realize that he is only causing unnecessary pain to both of us.

And failing that, anyone know a spell to cure a broken heart?

[WandererInGray]

Nope.

Just because you feel he's made a mistake doesn't mean he has. I'm sorry and that may sound harsh but it's the truth. You can't know what's best for him.

And the only spell I know to help heal a broken heart is Time.

[jelly.belly]

I'm with WandererInGray here... You might love him with all your soul, but if you really do, you'll let him leave, you can't play with people's emotions like that... I'm sorry, I know it's hard, but you do, need time...

[Phoenix Blue]

You've received so much good advice already, dear Kacie. **Smiles** All I would add to it is this: You are a whole person. While your love seeks the path which is right for him, seek your own path. Learn to love yourself--and when you love again, it will be with all your heart.

[Xander67]

I think the best thing to do right now is let The Goddess work in his heart...

He needs to have some time to examine his own heart, and I am reading frim your post that he has a big journey ahead of him, he needs to discover who he is... we all take that journey over and over again, and each time it is a diferent expierence...

The best thing is to show him you truly Love him....

Let him know you are there for him if he needs a friend, and let him make the journey...

He may have things he needs to deal with that he feels need to be delt with alone.....

just let him know you love him, and you are there if he needs you....

and be there for him when he does...

this is my 2 cents from a guy's point of view

[Rick]

in the stuck thread at the top of this forum. Carve it onto a votive per the instructions, & let it burn whilst you soak in a nice hot tub (use a healing-scented candle, if you have one)... this won't solve your problems, but it will make you feel better...

[SweetLover661]

Spells are somewhat like prayers ... As long as it comes from your heart, with only good intentions.

Putting or directing a spell on anyone can be very dangerous. Would you want your love to be artificial? I know I wouldn't.

If you TRULY feel he is making a mistake then go right ahead. Cast a spell. You cannot harm anyone if it's ONLY to help YOU attract SOMEONE, (get that? someone) who will love you, and who is right for you.

Wanderer is right. The only thing that can mend a broken heart is time. You really need to try and look on the bright side of any situation. I've always, and strongly believe ... that everything happens for a reason. :)

[cherrywind]

Well, that's a tough one. I do not believe in the law of three, or anything like that (not a part of my path) but just for personal moral reasons, I wouldn't. That's just me though. I think love and relationships are something that just should not be toyed with. As SweetLover said, it would be artifical if you use magical manipulation to get somebody to come back to you.

I'd say your best bet is to talk to him. Don't go jumping to spellcraft as your first option, there's always communication first.

[Myst]

If you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours, if not it never was.

(paraphrased from someone who knew what they were talking about)

[Xander67]

Nods in agreement with Myst!

[Phoenix Blue]

Quoth Myst:
If you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours, if not it never was.
Of course, Forever Knight introduced another version of this:

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours. If not, hunt them down and kill them.

:p Probably not-so-good advice in a serious aspect, but hopefully it brought a smile to your face this morning.

[Azure]

Can you just be friends with this person for awhile? Friendship can help smooth things out, and if you both decide to rebuild the relationship later, it makes things easier.

If you really love him, then you owe it to him to at least try to relate to him as friend only, if that's what he really needs right now.

It means being kind, unselfish, and really wanting what's best for him, however - not strictly clinging with an ulterior motive. So be careful.

[Xander67]

Kacie,

Azure is giving some great advice...

Maybe what he Needs right now is a friend, and if I may offer an objective point of view, perhaps it is what you need as well. He will need a friend to help him deal with the new things he learns about himslef.

You might want to tell him how you feel, and let him know that you do not want to loose him , and that you want to be the best friend you know how to be.... and you will need ot reasure him that you have no alterior motives, you will need to be very patient and give him a lil space... and most of all, Time...

Remember, the Goddess knows who your soulmate is, she knows who would make you feel like a woman, she knows who would make you feel good about yourself... she knows who you would want to spend the rest of your life with... and she knows who will stand beside you no matter how stromy the seas.....

and when the time is right, she will send him to you!

Hope this helps...
xan

[ChelleOfShadows]

Only time can mend a broken heart. One thing to keep in mind is if you did cast a spell and he did come back how would you ever know if it was of his own free will, and would you want him if it wasn't? Nurse your heart, meditation and prayer to the Goddess. A cleansing ritual. Sweep the negative energy out of your home. Put away reminders that hurt. GO SHOPPING!!! Buy something silly that makes you smile. Blessed Be, I wish you well.

[Grey]

I have to agree with what myst said (she always do seem to know whats she's talking about) Just wait for this "traumatic time" to pass then try to open up relations again (he'll probably do it first).

Until then meditate, look at lots of farside, and drink cocoa every time your cold.(or whatever warms ya)

This has happend to me before and believe me it always works out.

[Xander67]

Myst is a great person, and I have never seen her give bad advice, and one of the things I admire about her, is that she is not afraid to speak her mind... If she has something to say, she says it. I always respect a person who is not afraid to say whats on thier mind... even if the truth hurts :)

[*~*Chary*~*]

Myst is a great person, and I have never seen her give bad advice, and one of the things I admire about her, is that she is not afraid to speak her mind... If she has something to say, she says it. I always respect a person who is not afraid to say whats on thier mind... even if the truth hurts

Here Here :thumbsup:




Is there a spell or anything out there that can help him see clearly what he has thrown away? I do not wish to deceive or manipulate him, only to open his heart to realize that he is only causing unnecessary pain to both of us.

Ok ... i agree with the others but it is your decision and if you truly so want to do a spell then heres one to attract LOVE not a person but love it could be anyone.

http://www.newmoon.uk.com/spells/82.htm

And i don't have a clue if this works ... perhaps it just helps u move on

http://www.newmoon.uk.com/spells/96.htm

[Sacrlet76]

I know broken hearts are painful. It is never good to try and cast spells for someone unless it is an open mind spell for him to think clearly and understand his heart. A friend of mine loved her boyfriend so much that when he left she was devasted. She set about working on spells to bring him back and eventually got him back. It was wrong though and the energy around them proved it. They got married and came back not speaking to each other on the plane ride home from their honeymoon, he started cheating on her 2 months after they were married and they got divorced after he left her 3 times in a year. They were married one terrible long year. The point of all this is that if it is not meant to be you should not force it. She wanted him and couldn't picture her life w/o him and she got him full force. She hurt more by keeping him then letting him go to find her true soulmate.

Light some tranquility candles and burn your favorite incense and take bubble baths. Go out and go to a salon. Having yourself pampered and made to look great makes you feel better about yourself. Make sure you keep yourself busy. It sounds to me like you have greived him enough and need to calm down realize you love him, but "if you love something you set it free, and if it is yours it wil come back"

Hang in there, you'll be ok. I am sending positive energy your way for strength and you can also light some stregth candles as well to help you be tough.

Keep me posted on how you are feeling, I know matters of the heart hurt a lot.

[Kacie]

After a miserable month, he called me up out of the blue. We talked for about an hour, he came over, and to make a long story short he literally got down on his knees and begged for me to take him back - something he's never done before in his life, with me or anyone else. He cried as he apologized for causing me such pain, through his stupidity and selfishness (his words). We've spent hours talking through our differences and our relationship is now stronger than it ever was before. We're almost disgustingly happy together, and I have no doubt that we will now be able to continue the journey that I (correctly) thought had been so rudely interrupted.

I used several of the techniques that those who responded gave me, for relaxation and healing for myself, and also spells to realize the true desires and intentions of one's soul, for him. Obviously it all worked. I want to thank each and every person who responded to my post for your support and loving advice. Everyone has been great, and knowing that even strangers can really help out and care has been a great comfort through the past month, and remains so even now that my "problem" is resolved. There are a lot of beautiful people on this board and I just want to say THANK YOU!!!!!

Blessed be and good wishes to all!

[Haedis]

Congratulations! I'm glad everything worked out for you. :)

[WandererInGray]

*smiles and hugs* I'm very glad too.
And I hope that things continue to work out for the both of you.

[Sacrlet76]

I am so happy for you!!! Congrats and much love surrounding you both always

[jelly.belly]

How happy is that? YAY for you girl! :boing: