I need help my parents think into drugs!!

[Grey]

during the past few years my grades have slumpned, my overall attitude has gone into a depression, money has dissapeared from my bank acounts with out her knowledge, and I hang around my room alot. I have low level depressions that last for months when set off be trigger events and Ive always been rather secretive.

My parents and other adaults have always said Ive been a well manered smart child if with an extremely messy room and being big for my age. But my mother is very stubborn once she gets an idea into her head and while I have to agree I show many of the
signs of drug use but I cant even think of a good reason to try them. The money has been going into food for a local family my mother dosent know and some preseants for my friends but I cant tell my mother that or she'll go bisseark! we're kind of in a tight spot lately and while ive aked if I could contribute to the bills or meals Ive always been turned down

what do I do??

[Ben Gruagach]

Tell her the truth.

She might go berserk at first, but the fact that you're not doing drugs should be a relief.

If you want to help people, talk to your mom about how you can help. There are things you can do that don't require you to give money. You could volunteer somewhere and make a difference that way. Or help a local food bank - that way you could be helping more than just one family that needs help getting food.

Be sure to tell your mom about how you feel, too, about the depression. Depression that lasts more than a short while could be something that can be dealt with by a doctor or therapist.

Your mom can't help you if she doesn't really know what's going on. She could be your best friend if you talk to her about whatever is bothering you in your life.

[Myst]

If you want her to trust you, tell the truth. Believe me, she'll be relieved.

[Faery-Wings]

I think Ben said it the best- please tell your mom the truth. And try to get help with the depression, so you can feel better about yourself, too. That is really important.

Let us know how things go, OK?
:)

[Yvonne Belisle]

Also you may want to reassure her even further. If you really haven't done drugs you may want to suggest that she have you tested for her peace of mind after you tell her the truth. Good Luck to you :)

[Grey]

Ive offerred to get tested and she brushed it off.
I'm going to wait tell our out of state family leave (they know nothing about it) But what if she dosen't believe me?? its happend before. the truth is often stranger than fiction.

[Yvonne Belisle]

Can you bring her to meet them?

[materra]

I would hate not being trusted. It so hard to understand how someone who "loves' you would think the worst. I was thinking that perhaps you can convince her to let you see someone professionally with a goal in mind. That goal would be to get your mom to trust you, and for you to get help with the depression. Sometimes (and I am a parent so I kinda get this part) parents are so worried about the temptations and threats to their kids by the world they forget they can become a problems too. I know I have...my kids have told me. LOL.

Regardless, please let us know how things are going. Try to show your Mom by your actions that you are helping others, not using, and growing up into a caring person. Let her know how depression is bothering you....she may understand alot more than we know...and surprise you. BB

[Witchy Cowgirl]

Yes, I agree, be open and honest. My husband has asked me if were medling enough in our kids business to know if they are doing drugs. He's just worried. None of our young'uns have shown any of the signs you've mentioned. But since you have (and your not using) I'd say that the main problem you have is diffently the depression. Depression can be a serious problem, (as you can see for yourself) and you should seek help.
Brightest Blessing to You and Those Who Love You.

[Old Witch]

Everything said above is good advice.........and I applaud you for helping a family in need!!

[Flaire]

I agree..Honesty is the best policy. :) Just tell them what you're up to....and, like Ben said...You can volunteer at a local food bank (or donate money/food there).

Let us know how it turns out.

[Phoenix_Blue]

Grey, in addition to what's already been said, could I suggest you look up a professional for the depression? Under some circumstances, it's a chemical condition that you have to carry with you for life. . . but it doesn't sound like you're so bad off that you can't live normally.

Still, I'd talk to someone and see if there's something that can be done to help you out with it. I'm on Sertraline (Zoloft), which works well for me; of course, mileage will vary per person. . .

[Grey]

Gods it good to have somone to talk to.
Ive told my mother about the people and she just king of stood there for a second kind of blank and then said how do I know your not lying. The mom+ daughter of the family is coming over to meet my mom tomorrow.... I hope it goes well.

As for the depression what if it is a chemical inbalance?? I don't like the idea of being artificially happy. It just seems like someone messing with my soul.

[Faery-Wings]

Grey, depression is one of my "things" I tend to rally about. *G* A chemical imbalance is nothing to be ashamed about, it is simply a different way of of an illness manifesting itself within the body. Believe me, I know. I had postaprtum depression and was on Prozac for a full year before I felt good enough to live off of it.

I understand not wanting to take meds. I didn't either. Have you tried St John's Wort? I have reasonable luck with that for seasonal affective disorder.

If you feel like someone is messing with your soul, have you tried to meditate on what is disturbing you? I know it is not easy to do, but sometimes taking a good look at what issues are deep down bothering you is really enlightening.

If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to pm me, K? :)

Good luck tomorrow with your mom too.

BB

Chris

[Ben Gruagach]

During the teenage years, your body goes through all sorts of changes - some obvious, some not. It's not surprising that depression is common among teenagers. Their bodies are going through a hormonal and chemical rollercoaster ride, after all. But that doesn't mean that all depression is normal, either. If you find you're depressed for more than just a couple of weeks then it really should be looked at by a doctor.

Keep in mind too that if you do opt to try and balance things out with medicine, be sure to ask your doctor about herbal remedies like St. John's Wort too. I've heard that St. John's Wort is just as effective as most antidepressant medications, without the side effects you get with the other stuff. (Mind you, there are possible side effects to herbal remedies too - they are drugs even if they're herbal!)

I'd like to congratulate you, Grey, for telling your mom the truth about where the money was going. That was a very wise thing to do.

BTW - here are a few websites that talk about depression. Knowing more can't hurt!

http://depression.about.com/
http://www.depression.org/
http://www.ndmda.org/depression.html
http://www.depression-net.com/

[Myst]

If it's a chemical thing the meds are for your body, not your soul. :)

[Flaire]

Um...I'd rather be artificially happy than wallowing in depression. :o

[Old Witch]

Grey, Please let us know how the meeting between your Mom and the two women goes................

[Demeter]

Originally posted by Grey
.
As for the depression what if it is a chemical inbalance?? I don't like the idea of being artificially happy. It just seems like someone messing with my soul.

Think about it this way: The chemical imbalance is making you "artificially sad." The anti-depressants don't make you "artificially happy" -- they just put you back where you should be, and then you can get normally happy, or sad, or bored, or whatever, all on your own. None of it has anything to do with your soul.

[Phoenix_Blue]

Again, most of the other folks here have beaten me to the keyboard regarding the value of anti-depressant drugs. I'll just add this:

I went through the exact same internal conflict. . . I'm overall anti-medication and anti-doctor, when I can help it. I trust my body, under most circumstances, to repair itself.

But depression caused by chemical imbalance is a handicap as surely as a broken leg. There is no shame in a crutch or a wheelchair, nor is there any true pride in crawling around on your stomach because you refuse the tools available to you.

**Smiles** And the antidepressants aren't a cure in and of themselves. For me, it was a combination of antidepressant and mental discipline--I reprogrammed my own mind, even as the Sertraline helped stabilize my body's BIOS. :) You still have to work to find peace and happiness, just like you still have to exert yourself to move around when you're in a wheelchair. But it's a lot easier to accomplish than it would be otherwise.

I hope that helps!

[Grey]

I guess I still don't know about meds though....
whats this about st johns wort??

Well the Moms didn't actually meet (a couple of bizarre acidents dont look at me) so they had a talk over the phone. A quick one cause well you know.... But my mom is still a little more .... I guess the right word would be spooked? ..... about the whole thing. Whe is however giving me more space just not as much as she used to.

One up I can now use the van too bring food instead of my feet!:boing:

[Yvonne Belisle]

It may take time for her to come to grips with her fear not being what it was but depression is a big concern for any parent. She may need time to reevaluate and reassess the situation.

[Faery-Wings]

If you can stand looking through another site, here is a link to a Holistic health site. http://www.holisticonline.com/Remedies/Depression/dep_home.htm
To the right side of the page are links to information of holistic and alternative treatments of depression.

Here is a link to information about St J's specifically: http://www.holisticonline.com/Remedies/Depression/dep_herbs_2.htm#wort
This says to take it as a tea. However, I have had good luck with it when taken in capsule form, right from the health food store.

If you have any other questions about St J's, pop on over to the Green Room, Wildchild is a wiz when it comes to herbal remedies.

HTH!