raising kids in your religion- a problem?

[Fiamma]

So over on the "pagans are delusional thread", someone commented that 75% of pagans are delusional, 25% are folks who have seen flaws in Christianity and atheism. They appeared to be serious about what they were saying.

Taking issue with this statement, I responded to say, among other things that this discounted people who are born into families who are pagan, and brought up with any number of pagan religions.

LostSheep responded with this comment:


I do wonder whether that's an altogether good thing sometimes, given that it's often stated that one of the advantages of paganism is that people aren't just brought up in it like they are with the mainstream religions, that children don't simply follow their parents but choose it for themeselves.

Just a thought...

And this was my response:


How is this an advantage? Why on earth would it be a bad thing for a family to teach their kids in their religion?

Why is the idea of raising a child in your own religion such a bad thing? I see this a lot amongst pagans also, and I find the idea that it's wrong to bring your kids up in your religion absolutely repulsive. It's a parent's right and responsibility to teach their kids the way to go about in this world until they are able to make up their own minds (and I don't see there being a set age for this) For that reason, I say to parents who have massive issues with things like Harry Potter- if you don't want your kids to read them because you find them morally objectionable, don't let your kids read them, by all means it's your right and responsibility to bring your kids up as you see fit, but it is neither your responsibility nor your right to tell another parents how to do so with their own kids.

That said, there's a huge difference with bringing them up in your religion and still teaching them that it's okay if they prefer to go another way, and bringing them up in your religion, but teaching them that yours is the only valid way.

I have no plans to have kids, but if I should ever wind up with any, damn skippy I'm going to bring them up in my religion. If they should feel the pull to something else, then they will be free to find their own way and I will help them as best as I can. but they're going to get their start with what I teach them.


So there's the background on where that came from.


So what on earth is the deal with raising kids with religion? Why is this a bad thing? I have to note that I see this mostly amongst the vaguely Wiccanesque neopagan crowd, and occasionally in other circles as well. But I've talked to pagans of all flavors who have said either that they simply will not raise their kids with any religion, or that they won't teach them their religion unless they ask, or that they don't think that kids should be exposed to religion until they're a certain age, or any number of similar sentiments.

To me, this is kinda the inverse of the mainstream Christian parents who send their kids to church but refuse to go themselves.

[LostSheep]

Well, how I see it (hello :wave: ), is that it's just about freedom of choice, that's all; nothing at all wrong with teaching your children about your path and why you follow it, but, like you say yourself, just as long as one doesn't try at the same time to persuade them that that's the only right way. I just think that they should be free to choose that path, or something else, or nothing at all, just as soon as they're old enough to be able to make those kind of decisions. Not to tell them that they are {whatever}, just tell them why you are, and what it means to you.

[childofbast]

If I have children, I plan to raise them Pagan. I will take them to Pagan gatherings, celebrate with them, and teach them what I know. I will also not hesitate to teach them about other religions, and encourage them to study more on their own. I couldn't possibly keep them from following their own path, but I think raising a child in a religion isn't a terrible thing. I think it can give a child a good moral grounding, as well as traditions to make life more exciting. I was raised Catholic and, while I dislike many things about the church, I've never faulted my upbringing.

[RainInanna]

I was taught morals, values, and principles, without religious framework, which is what I hope to teach my children. When they are mature enough to understand the implications and choose for themselves, they can do so. If they show interest, I'll share with them, if they feel connected to a specific deity or culture, I'll help them learn about it. But it's important to me to pass on values and principles with the understanding that you need not be religions to have them. Their belief system should arise naturally and from their heart, not from what they're familiar with due to what Mama does. Later on they might like "an it harm none, do what thou wilt", or "the golden rule", or what have you, but it's up to them to choose when they're ready.

My DH was forced to be Catholic, as were his brothers, from childhood, and as a result has serious problems with Catholicism and being forced to follow someone else's beliefs. They weren't allowed to choose until they were adults, and none of them are the better for it.

[David19]

I'm gay so most likely won't have kids, but I wouldn't raise my kids in religion, 'cause, like RainInanna, I was raised in a non-religious house (well, my dad is Catholic, but my mum isn't anything and she had more of a say and didn't want me being raised in a religious way) and I grew up fine (sort of anyway ;)).

I think it's fine to teach your kids about your religion, but I personally wouldn't raise them in it. It kind of, IMO, takes away their freedom of choice 'cause you are, in an indirect way, saying this religion is "better" than that one or at least subconsciously, they might be feeling that it's better (and you (generic you, not specifically you) may say you respect other paths, but kids will pick up on subtle mannerisms, and ways that might give another impression).

Anyway, those are my thoughts which I hope made some sense.

BTW, this is quite a cool thread.

[Brightshores]

I plan to teach my kids about all religions for many reasons - I think it fosters tolerance and understanding, I think that it helps to talk about ethics and morals and how they differ between groups of people, I think that learning about religions help people learn about the world, and frankly we both think it's really, really interesting.

I have no problem with people raising their kids in their religion. I plan to do it to a certain extent myself - we will raise our children according to our own ethical and spiritual guidelines. However - should they decide to follow a different path someday, that's fine; I just hope they choose with care, honesty, and self-knowledge. To me, problems with raising one's kids in a specific religion only arise when parents are intolerant of their children's spiritual individuality.

[IvyWitch]

I plan on raising my children in my religion, despite the fact that I was raised Catholic. I feel it's important for children in religious households to be raised with more than just intellectual knowledge of religion - a foundation in spiritual experience is, I believe, essential for children to have when they grow up and have the capacity to gather knowledge and choose for themselves. Had I been raised an atheist, I don't think I would have been able to experience Paganism the way I have.

I thin it's possible to raise a child in a religion without harming them in the way many Pagans feel they were harmed by their Christian upbringing. What really hurts a child's ability to choose a spiritual path is a parent who isn't willing to let their child make their own choices, a parent who insists that their path is the one correct one, and a parent who is ignorant of religions other than their own. Raising your children to believe in something can only help a child establish and grow their own spiritual selves.

[Willow Rosette]

I have a 5 year old daughter and she is absolutly raised with my beliefs. But having said that she has already made it her own. She talks to her own Goddess, she has her own little "rituals" in her bed room. And pretty much decides how she worships and when.

I believe children need to grow up believing in something. If Toria where to come up to me at some point and tell me that this other religion makes more sence to her or none at all for that matter I would be fine with it.

I think the difference is simply a parent being upset when their child says they dont believe in what they where raised in vs. a parent being ok with it.

[DracoJesi]

Well, how I see it (hello :wave: ), is that it's just about freedom of choice, that's all; nothing at all wrong with teaching your children about your path and why you follow it, but, like you say yourself, just as long as one doesn't try at the same time to persuade them that that's the only right way. I just think that they should be free to choose that path, or something else, or nothing at all, just as soon as they're old enough to be able to make those kind of decisions. Not to tell them that they are {whatever}, just tell them why you are, and what it means to you.

I agree, there is nothing wrong with teaching a child about your religion and/or spiritual path, or exposing them to the concepts and practices of that path (with some exceptions such as being circumsized, which I think is something that should be the circumsizee's decision and only theirs alone, for obvious reseasons) however, I do believe however, that you should also teach that there are many aths and allow the child to find their own.

however, this isn't as simple as it sounds, many can say they do this but really do not, excluded certain paths and/or religions as being "invalid" perhaps the most well known example is with Christians, many of who see other paths within their own religion in the form of Baptists, Protestants, and Catholics, and even see Judaism and other religions as, well religions, however they see Witchcraft and other belief-systems, and Religions such as Wicca or Strega to be non-valid religions, devil worship corruption, ect. (not all of them hold this view however)

some religions also preach that even though one should be expecting of other paths, that theirs is the only right one and to not follow it will lead to God's hatred, eternal damnation ect.

so the question and hand, while itself simple, the meaning and practice of such as concept isn't as black and white as you'd think.

now, not to sound, holier-than-thou nut, I think is isn't really a problem among Pagans (but it might be for some as there are many types of Paganism) especially for those paths such as Wicca, that teach diversity of spiritual path and that all is really one, that each conception of deity is really means to an end, for lack of a better word.

also, I think that because of the misconceptions about many Pagan paths out there, that we, as a people, understand the need for diversity, and that there are numerous path and no one should be considered "the one" or right for everybody"

so to expose one to religion, no thats not wrong, but for one to say, "this is what you have to believe, because this is the one true way" is, in my opinion wrong, but different cultures and religions have a different sense of right and wrong and some would disagree.

[PrincessKLS]

Well, how I see it (hello :wave: ), is that it's just about freedom of choice, that's all; nothing at all wrong with teaching your children about your path and why you follow it, but, like you say yourself, just as long as one doesn't try at the same time to persuade them that that's the only right way. I just think that they should be free to choose that path, or something else, or nothing at all, just as soon as they're old enough to be able to make those kind of decisions. Not to tell them that they are {whatever}, just tell them why you are, and what it means to you.


A lot Christian families teach their children it's the only way. How could it be wrong for a pagan to say this is their true path?

[Willow Rosette]

many can say they do this but really do not, excluded certain paths and/or religions as being "invalid" perhaps the most well known example is with Christians, many of who see other paths within their own religion in the form of Baptists, Protestants, and Catholics, and even see Judaism and other religions as, well religions, however they see Witchcraft and other belief-systems, and Religions such as Wicca or Strega to be non-valid religions, devil worship corruption, ect. (not all of them hold this view however)

I think this is so true. IMHO Teaching our children that there are other paths is the first step in teaching them acceptance of someone different than them.

For example: The people we live with right now are Christians. So I sat Toria down and explained to her that they do not believe in Freya and Innana the believe in only one and no others. But because we love them we will not try to change that but instead love them simply for who they are.

She has had several questions about this and I think it has been a good learning experience. She knows that they go to the house with the big letter T on it and that is where they talk to their "God" and that we go outside to nature to do something similar.

If we teach children that another path is wrong then they will grow up trying to change people instead of loving them simply for the people they are.

[IvyWitch]

now, not to sound, holier-than-thou nut, I think is isn't really a problem among Pagans (but it might be for some as there are many types of Paganism) especially for those paths such as Wicca, that teach diversity of spiritual path and that all is really one, that each conception of deity is really means to an end, for lack of a better word.

I don't know if I can agree with that 100%. I think a number of Pagans would secretly be very upset if their children converted to a conservative strain of one of the big three, but especially Christianity. Actually, I think a lot of Pagans would secretly be upset if their children converted to any type of Christianity. Tolerance doesn't always extend to Christians, so I think your faith in the value of diversity among Wiccans may be slightly misplaced.

[DracoJesi]

I don't know if I can agree with that 100%. I think a number of Pagans would secretly be very upset if their children converted to a conservative strain of one of the big three, but especially Christianity. Actually, I think a lot of Pagans would secretly be upset if their children converted to any type of Christianity. Tolerance doesn't always extend to Christians, so I think your faith in the value of diversity among Wiccans may be slightly misplaced.

I wasn't trying to single out Christians, it's just that thats the easiest comparison I can think of.

and yes, I agree that many would be disappointed but theres a big difference between being disappointed and being understanding and supportive.

many parents hope that their children will carry on in there footsteps, it's a sense of of legacy, and that ones influence will continue to be present long after their gone.

[dragoncrone]

When my kid was growing up we went to the Unitarian Church. It's pretty much as close to being Pagan as one can get and still say they 'go to a church.'

Why did I do this? Because when my 100%-pagan kid started getting flak from his little Baptist friends at school for not being a bible-pounder, I wanted him to be able to say, 'Okay, here's what I believe in, this, this and this.' But the cool thing was, we ended up learning about Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hindu dieties, Egyptian civilization, Taoism...all kinds of socio-philosophical topics which made him feel at ease with a broad spectrum of theologies.
Now he has kids of his own, all pagans, and we are doing the same thing with them. My grandson is fascinated with Ganesh. The more they know, the better able they are to cope with not only their concept of religion, but their peers' comments and alternate realities.

[EvieLee]

My mother raised me to feel free to investigate which ever religion I felt interested in. This admittedly was restricted to the Christian denominations because I didn't know of any other religions as my paternal relatives were all heavily Christian. If I were to have kids I would raise them the same way, but maybe put more of an emphasis on educating little hypothetical kiddie to what else is out there in the world. For me, a major part of my whole Pagan journey has been the discovery of it in the first place, and I would hate to deprive my child of that same experience.

[DracoJesi]

When my kid was growing up we went to the Unitarian Church. It's pretty much as close to being Pagan as one can get and still say they 'go to a church.'

Why did I do this? Because when my 100%-pagan kid started getting flak from his little Baptist friends at school for not being a bible-pounder, I wanted him to be able to say, 'Okay, here's what I believe in, this, this and this.' But the cool thing was, we ended up learning about Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hindu dieties, Egyptian civilization, Taoism...all kinds of socio-philosophical topics which made him feel at ease with a broad spectrum of theologies.
Now he has kids of his own, all pagans, and we are doing the same thing with them. My grandson is fascinated with Ganesh. The more they know, the better able they are to cope with not only their concept of religion, but their peers' comments and alternate realities.

:)

Ganesh?

[cheddarsox]

When people grow up they choose for themselves...no matter what they were taught or led to believe. That, to me, IS the definition of growing up.

I think that parents should teach their kids what they believe is true and right, in all areas, not just religion, and not excepting religion. The people who believe that only one way is the right way...should absolutely teach their kids that. The same way that others who believe in many paths, and tolerance, should teach that as well.

I think it is a ridiculous notion that people should teach their kids what they don't believe in, or hide their beliefs so as not to indoctrinate their kids into them. My kids attended UU for several years and while they learned about many faiths, they were never shown (in that fellowship) the beauty and joy of practicing any faith. It was always just talk about what some people do, somewhere else, and isn't it interesting.

In our home, my kids learned about what I believe and why, and I always knew that in the end they will choose their own way, or no way...because I was raised in a very strict Catholic family, and I still went my own way. The only one out of my entire family that chose so.

But my children did see, up close and personal, what faith looks like, how it shapes a year, enriches a life, and provides a framework when things get chaotic. I think that is the greatest gift, to model how spirituality enriches life, they may choose a different model, or even to go without, but they will have seen and experienced how it can enrich them. I am grateful to my parents and the faith of my childhood for the foundation it gave me to have a faith and spiritual practice, even though I do not share theirs.

There are many things that I teach my kids there are options about, and yes, faith is one of them, because I believe that. But in other areas...I have told them that I believe there is only one viable option, and I think that people who feel that way when it comes to religion are right to do so as well. My kids, your kids, their kids...will make their own choices no matter what, but it is only fair to be honest about how we feel and where we stand, even if it is not PC.

[Annest]

I teach my kids (well actually just Alvin, he is 10 yrs, Jacob is not in such a state that we actually talk religion) about religions. I have alway taught him that he can believe whatever he wants as long as he do not hurt anyone on account of his beliefs. We talk about Greek, Norse and Roman mythology, we have several copy's of the bible including a children's bible that he is currently reading. I have been reading the Quraan and looked into Hinduism and Buddism.My family has a lot of different ideas on religion, my dad is an atheist, my mom is agnostic, my brother is who knows what and my sister is pentecostal. In Alvin's class there are many Muslims so he knows that they are just as "human" as the next kid. I try to make sure that he can choose whatever feels right to him, be it Islam, Christianity or atheism, it is his choice. But of course he is very interested in my beliefs so he is likely to take after me at least as a child. At this time he is worshiping Jesus and Thor, and I am fine with that, he has to try his own ways to find his "thing".

Anne

[DracoJesi]

When people grow up they choose for themselves...no matter what they were taught or led to believe. That, to me, IS the definition of growing up.



true, but, what about the emotional and psychlogical affects here, confusion, and fear of their family and friends finding out, if their parents thought them that there is only one true way, then this could lead to problems later on, and may eventually cause an end to their relationship. I don't think it's a healthy outlook, of course thats just my view....

if you truly believe in your spiritual path, then no, it won't matter what you where taught prior, but sometimes you have to give up allot for your beliefs, and the sad thing is that most of the time, this can be avoided...

[Treegoddess]

So what on earth is the deal with raising kids with religion? Why is this a bad thing? Everyone (this includes children) has a different path. Everyone has to find their own spiritual path and I will assist my children and give them my opinions and let them choose for themselves.

I think anyone chooses better when not forced. Of course my children know my beliefs, celebrate holiday's with me, & listen to my opinions. They know that they are my opinions and personal feelings though and they have the right to disagree or find a different way that works better for them. As it is, if you give them the choice, they will usually choose what they are surrounded by. My children are very much pagan. BUT, if they chose to follow a different path I would support them. I think it would be hard if they chose Christianity though b/c I hate the thought of them thinking I'm gonna be stuck in hell for eternity, but so be it if that is what calls them!

I homeschool and make sure we do studies on all religions, most recently one of my son's researched Taoism and the other researched Wicca. I think it is incredibly important to know about other religions just like it's important to know about history, science, other countries...you can't just teach your children what you know and your little world. They need to know about the world they live in.

My father was an atheist and my mother believed in god but that was the depth of it. They gave me the knowledge of how to be a good person and do the right thing without the base of religion. I would think most pagans would agree that you don't have to have religion to have morals and principles...but maybe I'm wrong about that. Anyway, I think that I turned out pretty ok being given the freedom to find my own path. :smile: One of my sisters is also a pagan and the other is a born-again christian!

[mystic_zoe]

true, but, what about the emotional and psychlogical affects here, confusion, and fear of their family and friends finding out, if their parents thought them that there is only one true way, then this could lead to problems later on, and may eventually cause an end to their relationship. I don't think it's a healthy outlook, of course thats just my view....

if you truly believe in your spiritual path, then no, it won't matter what you where taught prior, but sometimes you have to give up allot for your beliefs, and the sad thing is that most of the time, this can be avoided...

but you can still raise your children in your religion but still teach them that they are free to choose their own path if something else calls out to them.

i think that if you believe that your path is the only valid one, then you do have every right to raise you child/ren to believe the same (like it has already been said). if you believe that you shouldnt raise your child/ren to follow one specific path so they are free to choose their own, then that is your own choice.

[DracoJesi]

but you can still raise your children in your religion but still teach them that they are free to choose their own path if something else calls out to them.

i think that if you believe that your path is the only valid one, then you do have every right to raise you child/ren to believe the same (like it has already been said). if you believe that you shouldnt raise your child/ren to follow one specific path so they are free to choose their own, then that is your own choice.

well, I never said exposure itself was bad....

and if you saw my first post in this thread, I did say that the idea of valid religions is debated upon by different people, and that this isn't merely a black and white issue.

but I do believe you should teach them that their are other beliefs out there, instead of acting like they don't existed, if only for communication and understanding....

[Solya]

I have decided I am going to raise my children with some of my own basic ideas concerning faith and religion and so on, just to provide them with a solid base as they grow up, but that I will make every kind of info on other religions and spiritual ways of life available to them. I will assist them, provide them with what I know and what I personally believe about things, and will do my best to answer their questions.

The discovery of these things is theirs and theirs alone. :smile: I will give them the opportunities to find out about certain beliefs, but I will not force them to do anything with it. If they are interested, they will start to discover things for themselves.

[Bettie]

I will teach my kids (if I have any) the way I was taught - my parents sat us all down, and said, this is what we believe in, now go out and learn what you can and decide for yourself what YOU believe in.

[mystic_zoe]

well, I never said exposure itself was bad....

and if you saw my first post in this thread, I did say that the idea of valid religions is debated upon by different people, and that this isn't merely a black and white issue.

but I do believe you should teach them that their are other beliefs out there, instead of acting like they don't existed, if only for communication and understanding....

i did see your first post :)
and i do agree with what you are saying, i was just trying to put my opinion out there that you can do both. you can raise your kids in your religion and teach them that there are other paths out there which are just as valid and if they choose to follow a path different from the one you raised them with, then that is perfectly fine.

if i have kids i would raise them with my beliefs and i would give them the resources to learn about other religions, so the option is there if they want to learn about other religions.

[Brigid Rowan]

I will teach my kids (if I have any) the way I was taught - my parents sat us all down, and said, this is what we believe in, now go out and learn what you can and decide for yourself what YOU believe in.


I like your parents.

[LacyRoze]

I will teach my kids (if I have any) the way I was taught - my parents sat us all down, and said, this is what we believe in, now go out and learn what you can and decide for yourself what YOU believe in.


This is how my parents raised me and how I'm raising my children.

[cheddarsox]

true, but, what about the emotional and psychlogical affects here, confusion, and fear of their family and friends finding out, if their parents thought them that there is only one true way, then this could lead to problems later on, and may eventually cause an end to their relationship. I don't think it's a healthy outlook, of course thats just my view....

if you truly believe in your spiritual path, then no, it won't matter what you where taught prior, but sometimes you have to give up allot for your beliefs, and the sad thing is that most of the time, this can be avoided...

Yes, it could lead to problems. That's life. Everything could and many things do lead to problems. There is no way of avoiding that. There is no way to cover every base and make life a smooth, wide road in every circumstance.

But here is what I believe, children have a much harder time "making a choice" about anything, when they did not have a significant exposure and experience with the thing. Most of the people I know who were not raised in any faith, never chose a faith at all, most that I know who were raised in a faith, chose something, because they had learned the value of spiritual practice.

The OP was asking about teaching our children our religion, not forcing, abusing, or threatening to disown them if they chose not to follow it. I do think we do our children more of a service by teaching them our faith, and including them in the practice of it, than we do by leaving them out and letting them choose later.

I expect that, like language, there are key times in the development of a young child's brain that they are more open to spirituality, and if they don't receive any...they will tend not to pick it up later. But if they do, they will be more perceptive to it for the rest of their lives. Training the brain in diverse areas when young, allows for greater ability to collect and process information and experience for the rest of our lives.

For many of us, our early religious foundations...for good or ill, are what led us to the productive paths we are now on.

[Windsmith]

My hypothetical larvae would be raised in my and my wife's traditions, but with lots of books around the house about other religions, and lots of opportunities to talk to people who follow other traditions (if we were sure they would just talk and not prostelytize).

I would consider it far worse to continue practicing our religion but not expose our child to it (and we would continue practicing). If we continued to perform rituals and spells but didn't share them with the kids, they would grow up with the idea that religion - or, specifically, our religion - was something secret and shameful and dirty that we didn't want them to know about. And that's not the attitude toward religion that we would want them to have.

[PrincessKLS]

I will teach my kids (if I have any) the way I was taught - my parents sat us all down, and said, this is what we believe in, now go out and learn what you can and decide for yourself what YOU believe in.

M y parents weren't that open, especially not my mom. I mean my dad will watch and read stuff about history, different cultures and different religions even but he didn't really teach us about them.

[parallax]

As I am not yet a parent and do not expect to be anytime soon, my ideas on child-rearing are not very well researched at the moment. However, I like ideas such as attachment parenting, continuum concept, co-sleeping, and alternative schooling. Many of those concepts involve the child in every-day life. The child grows and learns by doing tasks right along with parents and older siblings. Whether they actually perform the task or play at it, they are just as involved as the parent. It wouldn't make much sense for me to have them doing everything but religion with me so I intend on raising my kids within my religion. I don't intend to doctrinate them, I do intend on giving them the tools to make their own decisions. But I will also involve them in rituals and devotions. I intend to read to them myths of many cultures and facilitate any relationships with kindreds they wish to form. If, at any point, they express a lack of desire to be involved, that is something I will have to accept.
My friend is raising her children Pagan and it goes over well. She brings the children to ritual for most holidays and one of them even has his own altar at home and does devotions with her. One of the children usually dislikes rituals and is never forced to stay (he usually runs off once we've made offerings to the outsiders...we're beginning to notice a connection there).
I was raised without religion because my parents were not religious. I actually rather resented it and started searching at a young age. I don't think I would've rather been brought up Catholic (their religions growing up) but I do think it would've been really strange to be disconnected to my parents' religion if they had one.

[TygerTyger]

I am a parent. I was raised a Church of England Christian, as was my wife. I turned from that path many years ago but I still respect the teachings of Jesus, I believe that there are some essential truths in his lessons but that the Christian churches fail to live up to them. I was married in church and both of my children have been Christened.

My daughter shows no interest in religion whatsoever, she’s very materialistic, but she is aware of the major religions and the existence of other beliefs. She appears non-judgemental on the issue, which I applaud her for.

My son is 9 and showed a keen interest in Jesus when younger. He has recently been asking questions about my pantheism and I can see that we are going to have to have a discussion, which I’m looking forward to. If he chooses to take a certain path, any path, I will not try to dissuade him, as long as it doesn’t lead him into a conflict with my own beliefs concerning the sanctity of life and the evil of intolerance.

I believe in self-determination and that we should all follow the path that feels right for us. If he chose to become a Catholic priest I would be disappointed, not because of his choice but because of the kind of institution that that particular church is, but I would still respect his decision. As long as he makes a choice based on his own reasoning I would support him, if it was simply a fad I would give him a good talking to!

I don’t feel the need to validate my own beliefs by raising my children in them; I want them to have the opportunity to choose even if that choice is not to believe at all.

[RivaWitch]

I would think anyone who was religious would be a bit delusional.


Riva

[TygerTyger]

I would think anyone who was religious would be a bit delusional.


Riva

That would suggest that anyone who believes in anything is delusional!

[Tullip Troll]

rasing mine very pagan and we openly do not support being christian in this house. So far so good ; )

[Nitefalle]

true, but, what about the emotional and psychlogical affects here, confusion, and fear of their family and friends finding out, if their parents thought them that there is only one true way, then this could lead to problems later on, and may eventually cause an end to their relationship. I don't think it's a healthy outlook, of course thats just my view....

if you truly believe in your spiritual path, then no, it won't matter what you where taught prior, but sometimes you have to give up allot for your beliefs, and the sad thing is that most of the time, this can be avoided...

I'm sorry, but I am confused as to how you think the trials and tribulations of becoming a separate adult identity apart from your parents can be avoided? There will always be issues on which parents and growing children disagree, spirituality being the least of them. How exactly can this be avoided? Just teach your child nothing at all, in any area of life? Say they have to make their own decision concerning everything, with no role model or point of comparison? The kid would probably have a complex and never leave the house.

[PandoraHealer]

rasing mine very pagan and we openly do not support being christian in this house. So far so good ; )

I'm beginning to share this feeling.

My children are very young- a 2 year old boy and 1 year old girl.

My mother watches them some weekends and takes them to her baptist church.
My 2 year old participates in rituals around the house--

Still too young to know the difference i feel.

I do know that in a few years, both my children will be raised in the Craft. I don't know yet if i will put my foot down and tell my mom she is not to take my children to church. I see that doing both can be massivly confusing to a child and could also possibly pose some awkward situations at church-- seeing as how christians are less tolerant of pagans as we are of them... "Miss. Sunday School Teacher, Was Jesus a Goddess Too?" HA! that would defintaly raise some eyebrows...

Anyway-- My kids will be raised in the Craft, as this house is becoming more openly pagan each day, it won't be long before i'm fully out of the closet, only select members of the family don't know, nor do i care for them to know.

I don't have a huge issue with my kids making thier own religious choices-- they want to go join the church people- go ahead, but i will not hide who i am or how they were raised, just so they can have thier church friends over... :smile:

ph

[Nitefalle]

As for myself, to answer the question of this thread, well....I have an interesting situation, so I don't know how it will go. I have a step son - the mother is a lax Christian. She doesn't go to church that I know of, but she did have him baptized (though into which sect of Christianity, I don't know, I assume Catholic). My boyfriend (the father) is a lapsed Catholic who, even though he doesn't go to church or read the Bible, still thinks that I'm "wrong" in my beliefs and we agree to disagree on the subject. I do not hide my beliefs or practices from my boyfriend, though.

As my stepson gets older, I want to be able to show him that there is more than one way, that he is free to make his own decision. I know that my boyfriend won't make him go to church as he doesn't go himself, but I can't speak for the mother. I want to be able to show him what I do, as well, and that even if he doesn't agree with it, there are still options to be had and it's something that he will have to decide for himself, no one can make that choice for him or tell him what he's "supposed to" believe.

If my boyfriend and I ever have children of our own, I will adamantly oppose them being baptized because I feel it would be grossly hypocritical, no matter how much my parents or his parents pressure us (and they will!). After that, we will just have to take it one day at a time, seeking compromise wherever we can.