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View Full Version : Trying to Conceive and Early Pregnancy Advice?



TheWomanMonster
March 3rd, 2008, 07:17 PM
Okay before anyone breaks out into song I am NOT trying to conceive (YET),:cutie:
I was really young when my Mum had my brother so I don't really remember much of what she did.

I'm the sort of person that has to research things down to the last detail,
I thought it would be a good idea to start this sort of thing now.

I'm looking for advice for ALL the first time Mummies and Daddies out there.
Book recommendations, Products you liked, Studies, How to find a good OBGYN, Midwifes, Home Births vs Hospitals, Healthy eating and living while pregnant...
any resources you used during your pregnancy or while TTC, anything you found later that you wished you had sooner.

Hopefully we'll end up with a good batch of advice for First timers and those that are looking for simple ideas and tips!

Thank you in advance ladies! I know you won't fail me!

Lorrie
March 3rd, 2008, 07:33 PM
Start checking out the baby and parenting forums. Tonya and Jamie both relied on them. After Jamie died, I went to the one she liked and joined for updated advice, and also let her friends there know why she suddenly went silent.

Tanya
March 3rd, 2008, 07:36 PM
eat a healthy diet,

get lots of exercise

get a measles booster shot

take a multi vitamin with FOLATE.

get a physical including testing for STDs for yourself and your partner

Have lots of happy unprotected sex.

TheWomanMonster
March 3rd, 2008, 08:06 PM
Start checking out the baby and parenting forums. Tonya and Jamie both relied on them. After Jamie died, I went to the one she liked and joined for updated advice, and also let her friends there know why she suddenly went silent.

Sounds like a good idea.


eat a healthy diet,

get lots of exercise

get a measles booster shot

take a multi vitamin with FOLATE.

get a physical including testing for STDs for yourself and your partner

Have lots of happy unprotected sex.

I especially like the last part.... :cutie:

Any idea if someone who received a measles booster in high school would still be covered in their mid twenties?

Amethyst Rose
March 3rd, 2008, 08:31 PM
When I got pregnant, I had a blood draw around 16 weeks (I think ) and one of the things it checks for is rubella (the measles they're worried about in pregnancy) antibodies. I had my booster in high school... grade 7 or 8 I think, and I had the antibodies. They also check for common stds and HIV, and iron levels.

Brigid Rowan
March 3rd, 2008, 08:34 PM
Youve gotten some good advice so far!

Make sure you and your dad-to-be both are of a healthy weight, excercise regularly, take vitamins, dont smoke..and as Tanya said, have a whole lotta unprotected sex!

TheWomanMonster
March 3rd, 2008, 09:02 PM
Sounds like some great advice so far!

Amethyst Rose: that's good to know, I guess I'll likely have the antibodies still too.

Ceres
March 3rd, 2008, 09:13 PM
Its recommended that you get a booster ruebella every ten years if you never had the disease itself.

My advice is to read Immaculate Deception by Suzanne Arms and Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin. Know what kind of birth you want and go after it. Dont settle for a default birth experience, accepting whatever comes your way. Believe me, I did it that way the first time and it did irreparible physical damage, though I consider myself lucky it wasnt worse.

Tanya
March 3rd, 2008, 10:41 PM
you can get your measels antibodies tested. If I was your age, I'ld just get a booster.

I got one before I got preggers but it didn't TAKE!

so you might want to have your levels checked AFTER your booster just to make sure it worked.

aranarose
March 3rd, 2008, 10:44 PM
As far as vitamins go, use prenatal vitamins for yourself, and dad-to-be should be taking a good multi-vitamin as well.

Ariste
March 4th, 2008, 12:23 AM
I've read that it's most important to take the prenatals with folic acid the 3 months BEFORE you get pregnant.

My other advice is don't try to get pregnant. Like it seems if you're focused on it and stressing about it, it doesn't happen. My hubby and I tried for a year and a half for our second daughter. We had stopped trying and were using condoms when I got pregnant with her. A couple of my friends have similar stories. Obviously I wouldn't reccomend using condoms, but I think if you're just having fun and letting what happens happen, you're more likely to be successful.

Autumn
March 4th, 2008, 12:37 AM
get a measles booster shot

Have lots of happy unprotected sex.

It's Rubella or German measles, you can get tested forimmunity to it before you go off BC and if you are NOT immune or not immune enough (equivical) you can get a booster shot. It's more important if you work with kids especially in an area where the no-vax crowd is prevalent.

If you do need a booster ask before how long they want you not to get pregnant after you get it.

Go to a La Leche league meeting in your community and , after the meeting is over, ask 300 questions about the OBs and midwives in your community, get the lowdown. Start reading tons NOW, and try to get ATT reading too. sol didn't read anything and it drove me crazy!

TheWomanMonster
March 4th, 2008, 01:15 AM
Start reading tons NOW, and try to get ATT reading too. sol didn't read anything and it drove me crazy!

Yep that's the plan. :cutie:


Oh and as a side note: I think I HAD Rubella as a young child, I'll have to ask my Mum.

Ceres
March 4th, 2008, 07:24 AM
Yep that's the plan. :cutie:


Oh and as a side note: I think I HAD Rubella as a young child, I'll have to ask my Mum.

Probably not, but it is possible. My generation was one of the last in the country to get the disease and I am 37, but then the shot doesnt always give 100% immunity. If you did actually have it, your immunity is far less likely to wane, but like everyone says, best to have the levels tested either way. Its just a simple blood test.

Tanya
March 4th, 2008, 07:37 AM
frankly I would skip the prenatal vitamins.... all the way... extra iron is contsitpating...

eat plenty of spinach, cook your tomatoes in cast iron.. this worked fine for me and my bub... and my pooper was thankful... pregnancy has enough crap asociated with it ..w ithout not being able to crap.

my sister is an MD.. she took the prenat pills... not a happy girl.....

Ceres
March 4th, 2008, 07:59 AM
I didnt take regular prenatals either, just carefully adhered to a healthy diet. I think its much better to get your vitamins and minerals from where they are supposed to come - food, because they they are in appropriate quantities and blended with other nutrients that they are supposed to be paired with.

That said, I did take folic acid supplements (beginning before I conceived) because I had a sibling with Spina Bifida, so my risk was greater than average. On its own, folic acid doesnt usually cause problems and Spina Bifida, while rare, is such a horrid disease.

DreamSpell333
March 4th, 2008, 08:24 AM
As far as vitamins go, use prenatal vitamins for yourself, and dad-to-be should be taking a good multi-vitamin as well.

Make sure that they have folic acid too!! Folic acid is vital to help prevent neural tube defects. (lost my dd olivia to one)

I read the book : What to expect when your expecting. Barnes and noble have a good section on pregnacy books too.

DreamSpell333
March 4th, 2008, 08:39 AM
I didnt take regular prenatals either, just carefully adhered to a healthy diet. I think its much better to get your vitamins and minerals from where they are supposed to come - food, because they they are in appropriate quantities and blended with other nutrients that they are supposed to be paired with.

That said, I did take folic acid supplements (beginning before I conceived) because I had a sibling with Spina Bifida, so my risk was greater than average. On its own, folic acid doesnt usually cause problems and Spina Bifida, while rare, is such a horrid disease.

I didnt take vitamins before concieving my dd Olivia, and now I wish I had. Folic acid is important to help prevent neural tube defects. (Spina Bifida and Anenchephaly) Olivia had
Anenchephaly.. theres also trisomy 18 which I believe is vitamin b12 defiency..

I know friends who couldnt take prenatal vitamins,so their doctors had them take a flintstones vitamin instead .

Tullip Troll
March 4th, 2008, 08:54 AM
don't make it your only focus,

folic before hand

no smoking

sex because you want to

Laoghaire
March 4th, 2008, 09:09 AM
I'm too young to give any personal advice, but... I couldn't help myself ;).
I just wanted to say that Ariste is more than right. It took my parents 6 years to conceive me. They were perfectly healthy, but still...
To be honest, this is a big fear for me too... I want children so badly...

Autumn
March 4th, 2008, 09:16 AM
trisomy 18 is from an extra chromosone on pair #18, if a vitamin deficiency causes the nondisjunction, well I've heard weirder things...

I think trisomy 18 is just rotten luck increased by parental age.

Brightshores
March 4th, 2008, 09:20 AM
Take folic acid (if not a full prenatal multivitamin), eat lots of fruit and vegetables and whole grains and good protein, and also get your fill of everything you can't eat during pregnancy.

Read everything you can get your hands on. I agree with DreamSpell - What to Expect is very good, as is the Pregnancy Bible. Both were really useful to me. I've also heard good things about the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, but I haven't read it myself. The pregnancy forum here is also unbelievably helpful.

Prepare to lose all dignity. I could probably run nekkid down the street cheering like a happy woman - so many people have seen my boobs and bits at this point that I don't really care any more.

Try to relax and have fun with it - stress is counterproductive and it really is an enjoyable time.

And GOOD LUCK - whenever you do decide to go for it! :D

Autumn
March 4th, 2008, 11:29 AM
I have to say I do not like What To Expect books, I find them too main stream and too obsessive.

My fav has always been Ina May Gaskin's Spiritual Guide to Midwifery although I would recomend her newer book too.

It depends, in the end on your knowledge level and preference in child rearing attitudes. I like the tone of the Sears and Sears Baby book so I would recommend their Pregnancy book. If I were you I would hit the library and read for tone and content. does the author's attitude toward the subject match yours? then having found the pregnancy tome that you like; go and buy the latest edition in the bookstore.

Morr
March 4th, 2008, 12:49 PM
I'm in a hurry, since we're about to leave for the airport soon, and I didn't read all the posts (though I am sure there's plenty of great advice).

From my experience:

Before TTC/during TTC:

1) Get Multi-Vitamines at your local pharmacy. It has all the vitamines your body needs, especially FOLIC ACID, which you need plenty of in your body to support a healthy pregnancy, especially during those sensitive first few months.

2) Google is your best friend.

3) Asking questions!! ASK! Even if you feel stupid, ask!

4) When you start TTC -- DONT START COUNTING AND OBSESSING. You won't get pregnant. Only when you are at peace, and take the "it will happen when it's supposed to happen" approach, THEN you'll get pregnant! LOL

5) Enjoy sleep. Heheh. You won't get much after you get pregnant, and after the baby comes!


Pregnancy:

1) There will be ups and downs. Be prepared.

2) Your body will not be yours anymore.

3) Think what kind of birth and care you want for yourself. There are so many approaches out there. Neither is right or wrong. Do what is right for you. A hospital with an OBgyn is neither more nor less than a home birth with a midwife (I am using the two extremes, there's a few options in between). Research what kind of services are offered in your area.

4) If you eat a little junk food here and there, ITS OKAY. It happens. Just don't have too much of one thing. And no alcohol or drugs, or cigarettes!! Towards the later months of pregnancy, a glass of wine a week is fine.

5) Research BFing, and research it well, if you choose to BF. It is NOT easy in the beginning. Make sure you ask all the questions, and keep an open mind towards formula. It's not poision. ;)



My most valueble advice for any future mom/new mom:

NOTHING will go as you plan. Things will happen that you weren't expecting. It will be joyful, and a challenge all at once. Keep an open mind, and enjoy the ride!

and PS -- Try to plan for a pregnancy around the seasons. Being 7, 8, and 9 months pregnant in the middle of July/August will not make you a happy mama to be... Trust me...

Chesna
March 4th, 2008, 03:33 PM
If you are not on any BC..start looking at your cycle. I would write on the calendar when I started mine and then paid attention to it. When we were trying with Liam..it was soo much easier to get pregnant b-cuz I wa sin tune with my body.
I would also recommend a pre-natal when you are trying
But before all this...figure out what YOU FEEL is important to you while you are pregnant, meaning dr, hospitals, birth plan ect. Once you knw what you really want vs what you don't, it makes your choices easier. An example, it was very important to me that the dr who saw me while pregnant be my regular dr. So I went with a family practioner, that way they saw me for my physicals every year, all my pre-natal checks up and could then become my babies dr after it was born. To me it was very important that I have that connection. However, some women feel more comfortable with an OBGYN.
Lastly.. don't forget the daddy to be. He should be part of the decisions of what he feels is important to, give him the chance to be at pre-natal checks, and encourage him to go to classes with you, even if it is a BF class.
Ok..this is the lastly.....if you decide to BF..good for you..but keep in mind that if you ever hit a wall and start feeling it is not what you expected.. know that it is ok to switch to formula..I say this not because I am anti- Bf..I just understand the internal struggle that happens when you want to switch, but feel you can't. If someone had said to me earlier..it was ok...it would of helped..so I try to remind mothers of that.

Chesna

P.S. Lots and lots and lots of fun sex also helps!!

Marcasite
March 4th, 2008, 07:07 PM
I am hoping that I actually get to plan my next pregnancy. :lol: so I can't give you much advice on what to do beforehand. But personally, I do not recommend what to expect or books that go into every tiny detail on everything that might happen during your pregnancy either. I figured I'd be barfing every day (morning sickness skipped me), I'd be horribly constipated, my back would be killing me, and that either me or baby would get every one of the 10000 complications mentioned. I spent ages obsessing, and it was pointless. I feel fantastic, baby is fine, and pregnancy so far for me really is barely different from not being pregnant except for an increased need for naps and icecream ;)

TheWomanMonster
March 4th, 2008, 10:00 PM
Fantastic advice everyone.

I'm thinking I might check out a few books at the library (and I can always buy a copy with my sweet bookstore discount if I really like it). Just sort of trying to learn as much as I can about all this.

No baby Monster Tides yet! Promise. :cutie:


Keep it coming! I'm sure there's more tips and advice out there, SOMEONE is going to find it useful and likely before me! LOL

Seren_
March 9th, 2008, 05:10 AM
One thing that might be useful is to watch a video of an actual birth. I saw a very graphic one and my immediate reaction was, "There's no way something that size is coming out of there!" But after seeing several, it started to become kind of reassuring that other women can do it, and that it's done everyday and is a natural thing. It sounds obvious, I spose, but it's a very intense and personal experience and it helps to mentally prepare.

Whether you end up watching one or not, it's good to get informed about labour and delivery so you know what to expect. Being mentally prepared for it is as important as being physically and practically prepared.

I found that having a good idea of how things generally happen helped a lot in keeping it together when I was in labour, because it helped give me a sense of having some control over the situation. Knowing the phases of labour and delivery etc gave me something to focus on and helped me to kind of detach myself from the pain a little.

Of course, once you do get pregnant you'll have a long while to prepare, so I'm probably being a little premature, but it's one of those things that won't hurt to read up on well in advance.

Sage Rainsong
April 1st, 2008, 06:54 PM
I know that I probably don't have any business posting here since I am a gay man but a couple of years ago a vegatarian friend of mine was pregnant. I found a few resources and I'd thought that I'd share in case that there are some vegatarian moms out there:

http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/menu-help-for-vegetarian-moms-to-be

http://www.clevelandclinic.org/health/health-info/docs/1600/1674.asp?index=4724

http://www.vrg.org/nutrition/veganpregnancy.htm

http://www.recipestoday.com/articles/nutrition/are-you-a-veggie-mama-3336/

Amethyst Rose
April 1st, 2008, 08:01 PM
If you have the info, then it certainly is your business to be posting here. :) Thanks! That's great of you.

synopa
April 2nd, 2008, 09:33 AM
ok, I am assuming your not going to have problems getting pregnant! *knocks on wood* But since you said for others reading here too. A friend of mine is doing fertility treatments. Her Dr told her to avoid dairy products. I guess she said they are the kiss of death for fertility. Also avoid refined and enriched products. Like white flour, pastas and pastrys. Eat whole grains (complex carbs) and adhere to the food pyramid as much as possible. Eating lots of fruits and veggies.
avoid soda drink water.........take calcium, pregnancy robs you of your teeth if you dont. Never eat for 2.........eat wisely. exercise, my midwife says it takes strength to push out a baby so start walk ing now. Wear a girdle. They have wonderful pregnancy girdles, that have straps that go over the shoulders. If worn these almost eliminate stretchmarks. It also will help your tummy to regain its shape after. They give valuable support so buy one as soon as you know your pregnant and wear it daily.

plan to breast feed. take alfafa and brewers yeast for plenty of milk. drink lots of water. the breast milk is the perfect food for your baby, and it helps you to tighten up your uterus and lose the pregnancy weight. prior to the birth you can was your nipples with a soft toothbrush to toughen. wet, warm tea bags also help. the tannin toughens the nipple, for sore and cracked nipples massage a drop of breast milk into the nipple afterward. Be sure to have a supportive bra.........

Nitefalle
April 3rd, 2008, 11:24 PM
Okay.....this may sound really weird, so bear with me, but I think it is an important issue.

Talk about how you both envision raising a child and see how well they mesh. Better to suss these things out now than wait and find you have totally different parenting styles that are at war with each other. This happened to a friend of mine and her parents let it ruin their marriage (the mom told my friend as a teen that they were only together for the kids! Nice!) I watch a lot of those SuperNanny shows and the biggest thing that always strikes me is that even if one parent is trying to discipline their kids, the other parent doesn't support it or follow up and that's where the kids run wild. What would you do if you had a child that had a disability of some sort? What would you do if they were gay? What would you do if they became an evangelical Christian that disapproved of you both? What would you do if they came home knocked up / had a knocked up girlfriend / had an STD at age 15? All extreme scenarios, but the reactions can often be very telling and great points of discussion.

I have a stepson that is just past 2 years old, but when he was still an infant my SO and I discussed how we would discipline and what we would do if we came to an issue where we disagreed with each other. I know this is not the only issue where things could get hairy, but at this age, it's the most prevalent for us.


Other than that, I would say to stay healthy and active! And remember to take care of yourself emotionally, too! Happy is just as important as healthy. You're wanting to put your body through a radical change, so be good to it and pamper yourself.

TheWomanMonster
April 4th, 2008, 12:22 AM
Nitefalle that is some GREAT advice, I totally agree.

mermaid
April 4th, 2008, 01:40 AM
I'm almost 7 weeks and am worried about some light spotting. I spotted around for 2 days early in week 5 and one day late week 5 and now today. It's all been the same, very light--sounds like what I read implant bleeding (which, btw, I never had) is supposed to be like. But I'm really worried about this intermitant spotting so late, wondering if it could be a precursor to miscarriage... Anyone know anything?