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Ziana
March 15th, 2008, 10:57 AM
We went back to court yesterday, only to find out that it wasn't a modification, but a contempt hearing. With my husband being the one in contempt for not turning the child over to his mother per court order. Several reasons for this:
1. the child in question is terrified of his mother and didn't want to go
2. We were court ordered to transport the child back and forth, a 2 hour trip one way, and she would never contact us for a place to meet.
3. My husband works weekends, and for him to ask off would cost us hundreds of dollars.
4. I have narcolepsy and was pregnant at the time and could not take my "stay awake" medicine.:zzz: Doctors said I was unable to drive more than 15 minutes away.
5. He did spend mothers day weekend there and came home in the same underwear, same clothes, smelled awful because he hadn't had a bath or brushed his teeth, and his head was shorn. He was not taken to the address she said she lived at, but to her boyfriends house, who is physically abusive to the boy, and who's address we do not have. Turns out she was living there, because that is where all her things were, and where he had a room set up.

Now we have the custody thing in our county, and yesterday she drove up here to go to the hearing. She refused to negotiate, even though her lawyer kept telling her to take the deal, and ended up losing everything. She even wanted us to pay her lawyer fees, because she opts not to work, and is living off said boyfriend. Judge denied everything once she found out that she hadn't taken the child to her stated address. She also said that the mother was not allowed to stay with the boyfriend when she had the kid. So mom stated that she and boyfriend had broken up and she was living at stated address. Judge also said that we had to stick to the previous agreement until May, or another modification is put in place, if one is done before that, stating that the mother gets 1,3,5 weekends and we are to drive him all the way, not meeting halfway. This is providing that she is not with the boyfriend, and we do not have reasonable doubt as to her whereabouts.
So get this. It's a Friday. Kids have early release due to Spring Break this week. She never once says 'hey can I see the kid' or 'since it's my weekend I will just take him back with me'. Instead she leaves town without contacting the boy, then calls us around 5 wanting to know if we are bringing him! We told her no. Number one reason is because she left the courthouse in boyfriends truck, and number two reason is the fact that she was in town and could have at any time asked about her son, asked to see her son, or asked that her son go home with her. Judge admonished her in open court to be more cooperative with my husband and vice versa. This does not seem cooperative. To honestly expect us to follow her 2 hours down the freeway, because the papers say we have to drop him off. I don't believe the people who wrote the document thought they would ever have to specify "unless you are already in the county the child resides in, in which case contact the custodial parent, and take the child with you"!
:rollingla

KaidaMidnight
March 18th, 2008, 11:39 AM
Sounds like you have your hands full.. LOL Good luck in May.. hopefully it all goes the way you want it to.

Willow Rosette
March 18th, 2008, 11:48 AM
My heart goes out to you. I know how awfull going to court can be, both with my own children and with my daughters siblings when they lived with me.

If you ever need to vent about court or uncooperative parents feel free to give me a holler. :hugz:

Ziana
March 18th, 2008, 10:36 PM
thanks for the support! quick update, she called my son today (yes I know, she's the bio-mom, I'm the step, but that just a technicallity...he's my son) anyway, tangent! She calls my son today to 'talk'. Really what she wants is to whine to my son in the hopes that he will side with her against his father. So it's all "you're supposed to be with me, but your mean ol father wouldn't bring you blah blah blah." and my favorite "I'll be getting a hotel room each time you come to stay with me, won't that be fun?"

Hotel room? why? judge has no problem with my son staying with her as long as she is living at the sisters. would only need a hotel if she were with the boyfriend. anyone else coming to the same conclusion? :T

I still say that if the boy truly meant anything more to her than a way to get back at my husband for not staying with her she would have tried to see him when she was here, instead of heading out of town and blaming us for him not getting to see her.

Willow Rosette
March 19th, 2008, 12:38 PM
My daughter's siblings have a mother like that too. She has lost her kids more times than I can count and then when she has them she pits them against anyone she possibly can so that she is the poor abused Mommy being kept wrongly from her kids but when I lived with them for 3 years the woman never once called them much less attempted a visit.

I have always felt that having my daughter is my privilage and I am so very blessed to be her Mommy. So there is no way I can even begin to understand that lack of parenting. But I do totally know your POV.

Nitefalle
June 20th, 2008, 08:37 AM
I still say that if the boy truly meant anything more to her than a way to get back at my husband for not staying with her she would have tried to see him when she was here, instead of heading out of town and blaming us for him not getting to see her.

If the boy meant anything to her at all, she'd be a good mom and not let her disgusting boyfriend abuse him. She would make sure he stays clean and healthy while at her house. She would actually love and care for him like a parent is supposed to. People like that make me sick.



As much as we loathe and absolutely despise JT's bio-mom, I've always told my SO that he should count his blessings that she actually does love the baby and makes sure he's healthy, takes him to the doctor, etc.

Ziana
July 23rd, 2008, 12:38 PM
I couldn't agree more. In the time since the last court hearing she has seen him twice. Once when his older sister graduated hs and he went down to see the ceremony. This was only a day trip. The second time is when he was in the hospital after having an emergency appendectomy and she came up the nect day for a few hours. We are no longer required to take him the entire distance so she now has to meet us halfway. We are also getting ready to go back to court again in order to get child support set, as this was not done when we were awarded custody, as well as a few other changes such as his last name and hopefully to get the county restriction removed, as my husband has been offered a promotion that will have us moving. Right now the only way we can leave the county is if she moves first.