Craziest questions asked by fluffs or non pagans.

[Jeremy Westenn]

Here's my story. I was in a yahoo chat for Paganism a long, long time ago when I still browsed those rooms for information. There's a person in the chat spamming something along the lines of,

" Looking for someone with powerful magic/rituals and spells, please pm me. " over, over, and over again.

I ask him what he needs because I had enough knowledge then to probably pinpoint him in the right direction, make a spell for him for whatever he needs, and I also was just curious. So he tells me.

" I need a spell to transform me from a man into a woman. "

:weirdsmil

Needless to say it makes a for a bit of a funny story but at the time I actually felt bad for him. I'm gay, I'm not transgendered, I can't even imagine what it's like to have a body and mentally inside to be the exact opposite. It's possible with hormones and surgery to change ones gender and emulate the gender your transitioning into well enough to integrate into society with few problems. However, most people don't have the finainces and medical coverage to afford anything beyond breast reduction, augmentation/implants, and the most easily available hormone therapies of testosterone and estrogen.

I tell him quite politely, I don't lol at him in chat or anything, and I tell him quite reasonably that magic works but it doesn't work like that, there is no flashy Buffyverse magic, and that more or less no such ritual/spell is going to do that. Magic works, but not like that. (I wish otherwise, and part of me believes that maybe at some point in may have...)

Anyways, he basically ignores me and goes back to spamming chat. I take my o_O eyes and more or less move on. It really compromises my only instance with a non pagan/magical practitioner that really made me raise my eyes.

What are your stories? :)

[Tanya]

Well that's an interesting and sad story.

I wish you hadn't headed this thread as you did... its kinda disrespectful... calling people fluffs...As a hedgewitch, i've been called it enough to have it rub my fur backwards.... "Yes I believe in the general positive nature of creation... no that doesn't mean I am empty-headed or naive. It means I want to build on what is BEST in the world. Tar me and feather me for being optimistic."

when really i think what you are legitimately getting at is 'ignorant' questions. I.E. Questions from people who don't know much about paganism.


I tend to heap questions like the above into a pile of the "Buffy-Based Witchcraft" questions. also known the "How can I get something for nothing..."

I usually tell folks... witchcraft doesn't negate the physical laws of the universe. sorry.

Including "can you make a spell to increase my penis size "

"yes, there are herbs for that... but.. it hurts... a lot... and the effects only last as long as its hurting... not to fun... sorry.)"

Also "Can you make me rich"
"No, not over night. In the long term, I could give you a good chance"

"Can you make X love me."
"No, try brushing your teeth and thinking about somone besides yourself for starters.... then someone will probably love you"

"Can you kill X"
"Yes, in about different 50 ways. But you didn't ask "will I" to which I would answer "NO" I'm a fluff bunny, I don't believe in acting like that.

[Jeremy Westenn]

When I say fluff I mean people who believe stuff that is flat out historically incorrect, like Mary Magdelin had a temple to the Goddess, etc. (What Goddess btw Silver) That sort of stuff. I mean people who claim to be Wiccans, Witches, Pagans, but really are totally not correctly accurate about historical information. I didn't mean to offend you but I changed the title to take away any possible elitist feel to it. :)

^_^

[Bettie]

Eh, I get it all the time. People who think because I am a Satanist I must therefore worship Satan and sacrifice goats in my bathroom, or just generally be all spooky and EEEEEBIL... :lol:

Then there are those who are convinced that all Satanists are doing it just to piss their parents off (heh, not likely, my parents would've been more pissed off if I'd turned out to a christian, FFS.)

But then there are stupid assumptions made about all religions. Not all muslims are suicide bombers, and not all christians are intolerant hypocrites either.

:D

[Windsmith]

I knew of someone who was transitioning via magic. I think it worked. Not that magic made her outward appearance more feminine, but that it shifted her mindset and self-image so that when she looked in the mirror, she felt like the face she saw better resembled who she knew herself to be inside.

Of course, I recall that this was a change many months, if not years, in process. Asking for "a spell" to effect that change is pretty naive.

The strangest question I was ever asked was by a former roommate, who when he found out I was Pagan, said, "Isn't that a made-up religion?" I pointed out that all religons are made-up. He thought that was a pretty good point. I cherish that moment, because he didn't usually like to concede that I'd said anything worthwhile. But that's a rant for another day.

[Brigid Rowan]

~hmmmm~...Who is to say who is a "fluff"? Belief is in large part, a very subjective, personal thing. And Im sure we are ALL guilty of asking a few questions that might be considered silly by others....Im just glad most people I have met have been kind.

[Jeremy Westenn]

I would say a fluff is a person roaring about the burning times and how millions of pagans were killed. Historically innacurate. Many were killed, many weren't pagans actually, and it wasn't millions.

Fluff is expecting buffyverse magic, declaring that Mary Magdelin(And SRW has done this I believe) was villified for men for having a temple to the Goddess(Never said which Goddess), etc.

Fluff is being historically and factually innacurate. Fluffing of buffing stuff up so it's more mystical and moving away from fact and reality.

I tried to change the title from fluff to newbies out of respect for a poster above but it only let me did in the title. :/ I hope that explains my personal view though. ^_^

[Brigid Rowan]

LOL, ok, I hear you.

And my reply is that those people dont last long. Not long enough to worry over, anyhow. They either a. start reading and get a clue or b. get bored and become followers of the next cool thing. As far as "interesting" questions I've heard, hmm...I cannot think of a specific one, but I have seen a depressing number of folks that think magic negates the mundane. In that "my bf hits me, does anyone have a spell to make him stop?" as opposed to mundane things, like, breaking up, getting a restraining order, etc.

But as I said, ignorance doesnt last too long, most people just need a few good books and a few gentle pointers on manners, ideas, and the like. :)

[Jeremy Westenn]

I was actually thinking the same thing after I posted that, how most fluffs are very, very young people who once realising this is not Buffy, Angel, or a role playing game decide to go find another shiny object to pass the time with.

lol! Thanks for contributing! :)

[BlackLili]

The most "out there" question I've ever gotten...aside from the things that are easily solved in more mundane ways - "Make X stop picking on me," etc, the strangest one was from my own Mum.

We were in Maui having lunch and she knocked over the salt on the table. She had only recently started accepting the fact that I'm a Pagan at the time. She picked up the salt, tossed some over her left shoulder, and set it back down, smiling. I asked her why she did that, and she said "Well, I thought you'd appreciate it, being Pagan and all," after my eyes went back to normal from O_o I asked her why she thought I'd appreciate it. She didn't have an answer beyond it was something she thought I'd recognize.

So I explained, to begin with, I'm a Witch, but not superstitious. Then I explained the etymology of the salt-over-shoulder thing (throwing it into the Devil's eyes as the Devil rests on your left shoulder and quite possibly made you knock that salt over) and how salt - especially sea salt - has been used by many cultures for millenia for purification purposes. Over all it was a productive conversation for us in terms of religion, and I still think about it and laugh when I see someone like Rachel Ray throwing salt over her shoulder on her show.

[Sage Rainsong]

I actually had a person e-mail me a few months ago. I used to volunteer to answer questions on a Q & A site. They asked if I knew how to enchant a golden compass to tell the truth. It did coincide with the movie premiere. It was very strange.

[Windsmith]

So I explained, to begin with, I'm a Witch, but not superstitious. Then I explained the etymology of the salt-over-shoulder thing (throwing it into the Devil's eyes as the Devil rests on your left shoulder and quite possibly made you knock that salt over) and how salt - especially sea salt - has been used by many cultures for millenia for purification purposes. Over all it was a productive conversation for us in terms of religion, and I still think about it and laugh when I see someone like Rachel Ray throwing salt over her shoulder on her show.Do you watch Good Eats? Watch him sometime when he takes too big a pinch of salt out of the salt cellar. Instead of putting it back in, he tosses it behind and away from him. I don't know if that's superstition or if he just doesn't want to put salt back in the cellar after he's touched it (he is freakishly meticulous about cleanliness). But I always watch for that, and for some reason, I get a kick out of catching him do it.

This actually reminds me of my favorite story about Pagan/non-Pagan miscommunication. My college girlfriend was a crazy superstitious witch. Her roommate was a Mennonite who grew up in India. They had a lot of cultural misfires. Anyway, one night at dinner, her roommate knocked over the salt shaker, and a bunch of salt fell out. My girlfriend freaked out and started shrieking at her roommate that she had to throw it over her shoulder. Her roommate asked her why, and, frankly, I'm not sure my girlfriend knew the "why" behind it. It was just what you do when you spill salt, and my girlfriend said so. Her roommate shrugged, said, "OK, whatever," and tossed the salt shaker over her shoulder.

I couldn't stop laughing. My girlfriend was ever so unamused.

[BlackLili]

Do you watch Good Eats? Watch him sometime when he takes too big a pinch of salt out of the salt cellar. Instead of putting it back in, he tosses it behind and away from him. I don't know if that's superstition or if he just doesn't want to put salt back in the cellar after he's touched it (he is freakishly meticulous about cleanliness). But I always watch for that, and for some reason, I get a kick out of catching him do it.

This actually reminds me of my favorite story about Pagan/non-Pagan miscommunication. My college girlfriend was a crazy superstitious witch. Her roommate was a Mennonite who grew up in India. They had a lot of cultural misfires. Anyway, one night at dinner, her roommate knocked over the salt shaker, and a bunch of salt fell out. My girlfriend freaked out and started shrieking at her roommate that she had to throw it over her shoulder. Her roommate asked her why, and, frankly, I'm not sure my girlfriend knew the "why" behind it. It was just what you do when you spill salt, and my girlfriend said so. Her roommate shrugged, said, "OK, whatever," and tossed the salt shaker over her shoulder.

I couldn't stop laughing. My girlfriend was ever so unamused.
/dies laughing
I wasn't surprised that my Mum didn't know why people do it either. Isn't it funny the things that get ingrained in a person's psyche as "the thing to do"?

[TheWomanMonster]

It wasn't a question but my friend heard a good one from one of her friends younger sisters (a self proclaimed new wiccan) re: his recently deceased girlfriend...

"we can contact her with a ouija board! and we can always bring her back to life!!"

ETA: I should add, my friend is Wiccan (has been for years) and quickly clarified these things for the youngster. LOL.

[Morrigan_Wolfwind]

This thread is the most uncomfortably hilarious thing ever. :D

The craziest questions I've had to deal with were along the lines of "What do I do for a human/animal/whatever sacrifice."

My response to that is always: "I don't support killing unless it's a life-or-death situation."

I've also gotten a few "How do you do X spells?" To which I say, "Magic isn't my thing."

Unless it's a love spell. Then I laugh for a minute and politely inform them of my views on that sort of thing.

[Mitsuko]

The wierdest questions I ever get are from my cousins. They're the only people in the family that know I'm a witch, and they like to pick at me for it. So whenever we're hanging out, they'll ask me these inane questions like:

"Can you make my boobs bigger?"
"Can you make me win this Halo tournament on Saturday?"
"Can you kill my ex?"
"Can you kill your ex?"

They're other great thing was at Christmas. Changing the tags on every present I got to say "To: Christye From: Jesus" And telling me "Look what he gave you! Don't you believe in him now?"

[Jenett]

I had a weird gender related one a good handful of years ago that's (obviously) stuck with me.

Someone wanted to be a different gender - but to have a very specific physical appearance. Turned out that he'd been talking online (and had fallen in love with someone) who thought he was female, and he'd been using a picture he found online as 'her' picture.

I explained, as gently as I could, that this was not a thing magic could help with in that way, pointed him at some resources, and made some other suggestions.

[Xentor]

Their other great thing was at Christmas. Changing the tags on every present I got to say "To: Christye From: Jesus" And telling me "Look what he gave you! Don't you believe in him now?"

How odd. Did they think that just because you're a witch, you don't believe in Jesus? As far as I know, Wicca doesn't claim anything about his existence. My own path also leaves plenty of room for people to believe in Jesus. How is that in yours?

[Belgalad]

I wish I got questions. Questions indicate a willingness to gain knowledge and stave off impending ignorance.

Instead I get Harry Potter/D&D Wiccans who say crap like "Oh, you're a pagan? Let me spend an entire conversation dropping the most blatant hints about my dark and mysterious past as a Demon Hunter/Banisher/Binder until I may as well be shaking you by the shoulders screaming 'ASK ME ABOUT MY SECRET MAGICAL LIFE! ASK ME! ASK ME, DAMN IT, SO I CAN TALK ABOUT IT FOR HOURS! AAAAAASSSSSK!!!'"

The Navy should just, like, sponser a club or something for them so they can regale each other with outrageous lies while comparing character sheets and let me read my tarot cards in peace.

[David19]

I knew of someone who was transitioning via magic. I think it worked. Not that magic made her outward appearance more feminine, but that it shifted her mindset and self-image so that when she looked in the mirror, she felt like the face she saw better resembled who she knew herself to be inside.

Of course, I recall that this was a change many months, if not years, in process. Asking for "a spell" to effect that change is pretty naive.

This may be kind of OT, but Raven Kaldera has done something kind of similar to your friend, when he was in the stages of becoming a man, he shapeshifted astrally to help his physical form become more masculine, and it worked, it wasn't just a psychological exercise though, but did achieve physical effects.

I think it was in this article that he mentioned it (http://www.cauldronfarm.com/nine/intro.html):


Over the next seven years, I got the sex change that had been demanded, and began to live life socially as a man. The male hormones cleared up three-quarters of my hormone troubles, raised my immune system, banished my depression, and stopped the hemorrhaging permanently. My body shapeshifted physically with a speed that awed me, and astonished the other female-to-male transsexuals in my support group. While they were still counting their first few chest hairs, I was growing a full beard and passing as male, even with large breasts. The secret was simple; I'd discovered that shapeshifting my astral body to male speeded up the effects of the testosterone. (That, and some divine aid, I suppose.) It was an object lesson: when I was fleeing my path, things would go appallingly bad for me. When I was following it, things would get dramatically better

Although, from the article, he may have received some divine aid from Hel or another God as well as his magic that he did (OT, but reading about what Raven Kaldera does and has been through, reminds me how magical the world can truly be, and that magic isn't just some "subtle" force, that it can be similar or like the magic of Buffy or related shows).

[Infinite Grey]

~hmmmm~...Who is to say who is a "fluff"?

ME!


Why? Because I believe it, it's a subjective and personal thing... respect my beliefs puny mortal!


Belief is in large part, a very subjective, personal thing. And Im sure we are ALL guilty of asking a few questions that might be considered silly by others....Im just glad most people I have met have been kind.

[Ivy Artemisia]

" I need a spell to transform me from a man into a woman. "

I also have recieved a yahoo! PM from this person. It just struck me as odd that I wasn't the only one.