In Shadows and Storms......

[ShadowStorm]

...you have been there for me, Oh Great Mother and Father. Time and time again you have proved this to be true.

The problems I am experiencing at the moment would have been much worse had you not intervened.

I honour you, Oh Great Lord and Lady, and thank you for your guiding hands in my life.

I do not always do right, as I should. I am aware that I make bad choices in life, and reap the consequences as a result. This is the reason I am in the situation that I find myself. I have learned my lesson. I still do not believe that I am solely responsible for this mess.

I ask now that you guide me , Oh great ones, that I may walk wisely and act accordingly. Help me to rectify the situation, so that there may be peace wherever I walk.... so that Adam and I can begin a new friendship, and leave the ugly past behind us.

My devotion to you, Gaia, remains absolute.

[ShadowStorm]

I am confronted with the realities of my situation...each day as we face each other...and find nothing to say....nothing to feel but hurt and betrayal.

And we can feel the stares of others, watching, waiting...at least I can. If only there was a way for us to open up to each other, and to set the pain free, that we may return to some semblance of normality.

Help me oh mother, for my heart is sore.....I find that with each day the pain gets worse instead of better, and I know that this is not as it should be.

The ugliness is festering.

I take responsibility for my actions, and I seek to be healed from this pain.

I ask oh Lord that you be there for him when he needs a shoulder, For deep down I know that this must be difficult for him too....

By the power of your Names.

[ShadowStorm]

...for giving me someone that understands that the situation at hand...for showing me that I am not alone in this. For showing me that although I may feel alone and wronged, I am in fact vindicated of all wrongdoing....at least proffesionally. and that at least THAT is understood by the people I need most to understand.

Thank you for opening me up, so that I have easily accepted the explaination for what he did to me...though the explaination did not come from him....help me to understand why he could not have ended what was between us in another way. Why he attempted to wipe out all feeing from me to him. Help me to understand his feelings of frustration and inadequacy, for he felt helpless in the situation. Help him to cope with the pain he must be feeling. As I understand why he did what he did.

Thank you for helping me to see that what he did was in the best interests of my marrige...and the best thing for my daughter. The best thing overall in the long run.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to sit in the same room with him over a cup of coffee....with only minimal discomfort. There is so much between us unsaid.....and then....so much between us that SHOULD be said...that never will come out.....so much that I will forever keep hidden from him, for I will not allow him to hurt me as he did again...ever.

Help me, oh Goddess to regain the trust that was once there....I fear that this may never again be possible.

Thank you for allowing the tides of emotion that have washed between us.....and now for controlling that emotion and those tides so that things...at least for this week have become less painful.

Thank you for giving me a clearer understanding of the situation....through the wisdom of a crone's eyes...Goddess bless her...for she is wise.

Give me the strength to cope with the upcoming week. To face him with friendliness and clarity...with my head held high.

So it will be.

[ShadowStorm]

...for granting me the feeling of absolute serenity that has settled over me today.

for giving me the husband that I adore....for giving me the daughter that is my evrything....for giving me the parents that have made me who I am....for the ability to do my job well, and to heal people with my heart.....for the home I have and the sense of peace I feel within me today.

[ShadowStorm]

...I give thanks for your patience and understanding...I can be,
and I often am very difficult to cope with.

[ShadowStorm]

you have directly intervened in my life Goddess. I was nearly badly hurt in that car accident last night.

You were there to see that I was safe.

Thank you.

[ShadowStorm]

...heal so quickly.

I feel so much stronger already.

My devotion remains powerful!

[ShadowStorm]

... for the wonderful daughter that you have given me.

She's all warm and fuzzy from sleep and she's lying against my chest...she smells like warm baby powder.

Those big blue eyes looking up at me with such trust. Please help me to keep her safe, because I WILL kill anybody or anything that harms her.

I will protect this child with my life....she is my greatest accomplishment...and only through you mother, only through you.

[ShadowStorm]

I light a candle in your honour at my alter this day. I honour your influence in my life this day. I honour you for the many blessings you have bestowed upon my family and I, as we stand united in our love of spirit, the earth, and of You.

I ask that you assist me in making this new year of 2003 a peaceful and serene one. And that all the hell that was 2002 remains in the past. That it is not drudged up, or poured over. That it is forgotten and banished. That we start afresh.

I ask that as I go back to work on monday, you give me the strength and courage to say and do the right things.

Especially where HE is concerned. I ask that the two of us forge a bond of friendship. That peace reigns between us. And that lies and jealousy no longer exist. That we work in harmony beside each other.

I ask that my work be of good quality. And that I be caring, empathetic and understanding towards my patients. That they can seek comfort in me, as I seek comfort in you. That I can heal them, and ease their suffering as I can. That I can ease the pain of those passing over into your arms, with the technology available today.

That my Cystic fibrosis patients stay strong, that they find health and happiness this year. That they find life, energy and vitality. Simple pleasures that they may have forgotten.
Be with them.

I ask that my friendships stay strong, and that you look after all of us that work in the medical field. Protect us from the constant threat of HIV and Hepatits needle stick injuries that we constantly live under.

I ask that you bless and protect my home. Fill it with love and joy, and that you be aware, that you are at the center of everything that I do in my home, in my life, in my thoughts and deeds.

It is done.

[ShadowStorm]

I light a candle in you honour.

I ask that you keep my two cats safe, as they venture out of doors for the first time. I can no longer keep them inside, as they need their freedom. I love them, and ask that you look after and protect them on their jouneys of exploration.

Be there for them, should they require assistance in difficult situations.

Let them know that this is their home, that I love them, and that they'll always be safe with me. Part of the family.