It's my mom ...

[Emaleth]

She blames herself for my breaking with Christianity. She went to confession last week and the priest told her it was a deadly sin to let your children walk off the path of the true faith, or something like that.

Mind, I haven't told her I'm pagan, I've just expressed several times my attitude to the Catholic Church and religion and started to rebel against making me go to church. I'm 22 and I think I have the right to the freedom of faith.

But my mom thinks it is her fault I'm not a good Christian. I've told her she did what she could do, but I've made my own choice. Still, she says she failed to raise me in the spirit of Christianity:rolleyes: .

What am I to do? The woman will torment herself:eek: .

Blessed Be

[callalily]

Some priests should be publicly gagged so they stop causing needless pain and guilt. JMO.

I don't think there's anything you can do. My mom & dad hit the roof when they found out I was going into the convent. I went anyway. I do admit now (20+ years later) that I haven't told them I'm no longer a Christian and am in spirit more a Pagan than anything. (Good Italian girls who were raised Catholic just don't do certain things.) I'm afraid she'll have to work it out for herself. You may want to suggest she get a second priestly opinion, from one who isn't such a hidebound jerk.

[Ben Gruagach]

I haven't read any of these but they might be worth investigating as something to get your mother to help her confront (and maybe even overcome!) the guilt that is clearly a major part of her religious faith.

I found these on Amazon.com - you should be able to find them there, or have them special-ordered at your local bookstore.

"Who Told You That You Were Naked?: Freedom from Judgment, Guilt, and Fear of Punishment" by John Jacob Raub

"Christ's Touch Changes Us: Embracing True Guilt and Breaking Free from False Guilt" by Karen Watson-Jarvis, D. Russell Bishop, Mary Lou Sather (Editor)

Good luck!

[MidnightSun]

My mom did the exact same thing to herself. She said it was her fault for not "dedicating us to God" when we were born, and that she was going to hell because of us and that she had failed as a mother cuz we weren't Christian. After countless people, including us, telling her it wasn't her fault, and that we are at the age where our decisions don't effect her in that way, shes cool with it. Give your mom some time.

[Faery-Wings]

Wow, that is a tough one. Wap to the priest who said that to your mom. So if I commit murder, is that my parents fault also? To me, one person carries no guilt of the actions of another.

Like Ben said, your mom needs to get over the guilt. (One of the big reasons I left Catholicism, BTW. ) And I also agree with MidnightSun- your mom proabably needs to time to come to terms with the idea of you not being Christian. After she is calmer, I would try talking to her about your beliefs- draw comparisons between your beliefs and hers so she understands that you are not "far off."

Good luck to you!

Chris~who's mom still doesn't know LOL

[Emaleth]

My mom also doesn't know, but she knows that I refuse to go to church for some reason. I don't think she's ready to know the truth. It's a hard thing talking to her, when I try to discuss something controversial with her she takes offense very esily and keeps saying ironically "I'm so sorry for you", "you have to change your mother" :rolleyes: . Sometimes I think it's impossible to talk to her seriously.

I agree with all of you that one person is not responsible for the actions of another, but raising children in Catholic faith is the duty of all Catholics, during the baptism the parents even swear they 'll do it. Their logic always confused me.

As for my mom, I think she'll get over it and forget. After all, she's a strange kind of a Christian. She goes to church every sunday, but to confession only once in a couple of years... But she considers herself a good Catholic. I hate hypocrisy:mad: .

Blessed Be

[Starry Di]

Originally posted by Emaleth
My mom also doesn't know, but she knows that I refuse to go to church for some reason. I don't think she's ready to know the truth. It's a hard thing talking to her, when I try to discuss something controversial with her she takes offense very esily and keeps saying ironically "I'm so sorry for you", "you have to change your mother" :rolleyes: . Sometimes I think it's impossible to talk to her seriously.

Thats' the same type of mom I have.

This might not be the best answer/solution, but what I would do about it is just ignore her ;) And try to avoid the subject.

My mom thinks it's her fault that I don't enjoy church (well, soz but in a way, I think it is, as I *always* had to go to it when I was little! If I had the choice every sunday, I would've said no ;)). I don't enjoy church for the mere fact that I don't agree with the Chrisitian Religion.

When I was little, Church bored the heck outta me, and it still does, the only thing I get out of going to some sort of service every week is reading a book, lol :$

[Witchy Cowgirl]

Originally posted by chryssi1
Wow, that is a tough one. Wap to the priest who said that to your mom. So if I commit murder, is that my parents fault also? To me, one person carries no guilt of the actions of another.

Like Ben said, your mom needs to get over the guilt. (One of the big reasons I left Catholicism, BTW. ) And I also agree with MidnightSun- your mom proabably needs to time to come to terms with the idea of you not being Christian. After she is calmer, I would try talking to her about your beliefs- draw comparisons between your beliefs and hers so she understands that you are not "far off."

Good luck to you!

Chris~who's mom still doesn't know LOL

I agree with Chrissi on this one; draw some comparisons cause when it come down to the bottom line, the two are not that far apart. Just my Opinion