Um... help for a friend?

[Cait]

Uh...

This is probably a silly reason to start a thread.

However... I have a close friend who is... well... mentally ill, and deeply unhappy. I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas on what I could do to help him? I hate to see him like this, so I was wondering... Is there anything I can do to send him, you know... a little bit of peace, or comfort, or something? I'm doing everything I can to help him in other ways, and trying to send him good thoughts and prayers, and everything, but... Well, I'd just appreciate any advice, or even any good thoughts that could be sent this way.

[cherrywind]

I'd suggest talking to him about going to a psychologist. He has to want to help himself too.

Just a thought.

[Myst]

Yep, he needs to see someone, that's the bottom line.

Magically you could ask him if you could light a candle and pray for him - I'd choose white for blessings or light blue for healing.

[Flar's Freyja]

There's really no other answer. Yes, you can pray and send positive energy but the bottom line is that he needs to see someone and take medication if necessary. You could ask the deities to help him accept his illness and be open to accepting the help he needs to take care of himself.

[Cait]

Thanks everyone for the advice - I've actually already done that, that's what I meant by "doing everything I can to help him in other ways". (should have explained that better, sorry.) He is, generally, pretty willing to sort things out and I do think he'll be ok in the end, it just troubles me to see someone I care about so messed up and, well, I want to help in any possible way I can. I know I can't fix something like this with magick or prayer, I just figured I might be able to somehow send a little comfort or something for a while...

I suppose you're right, though... with something like this, there probably isn't much to be done other than try to offer my help and support and hope he manages to sort himself out. :(

[cherrywind]

Something like depression is much to heavily rooted to be able to just perform a spell and make it better. It's so deeply entrenched in a person's life that they need a total different shift in perspective to be able to start feeling better.

I'd agree with Myst, ask him if you can light a candle and maybe send some positive healing energy, but the real change has got to come from within himself.

:)

[Cait]

Thanks to everyone who's replied... I should have phrased my first post better, I think. I'm not naive enough to believe that I can light a candle, say a spell and make it all better, and I hope you don't think that of me. I like this forum, I wouldn't want you all to think I'm a silly fluff-bunny girl who believes magick fixes everything.

Unfortunately, I think I probably came off sounding about ten. "Waaah! Give me a spell so I can fix my friend's life." I know that it's a pretty serious deal, and that I can't make him recover overnight, no matter how much I might want to; I know that he has to want to help himself, and I'm extremely relieved to say that he seems to be willing to do that, at the moment. I'm doing just about everything I can think of to help in the "mundane" world. (I hate that term, but I can't think of a better one right now.)

I had just hoped perhaps that I might be able to send some.. I don't know, something like a little more peace or calm or something, even if it's just for a night to let the poor boy get some proper sleep. I'm not greatly experienced in the whole magick/healing/whatever thing, I'm usually more towards the prayer and meditation side of things. However, I was sufficiently upset by all this that I wondered if perhaps there was anything more I can do, and I figured I should at least ask advice from more knowledgeable people... However, the consensus seems to be "nope, you can't do much about that sort of thing". Which is fine, I just felt like I had to ask.

Uhhh... Anyway, I hope this post made sense. This whole thing has been pretty unpleasant, and I'm a bit stressed and sleep-deprived and I'm probably babbling incoherently by now.

Thanks again to all of you.

[Faery-Wings]

Hi Cait. I understand how you feel. My husband is also very depressed. He refuses to see anyone about it, and of course would never dream of any medications. (Stubborn Taurus man!). The few times he will talk to me about stuff, it is difficult for me to stay objective. For example, he hates his job, really, really hates it. He wants to make it big with the band he plays in. I am one of those feet on the ground types, so it is hard for me to not say "hey, your chances of that are really slim." And when I do say it, the s%$@ hits the fan. And there is just so much more... :(

I wish so much that there was something else I could do. I have been burning sage and/or frankinsence incence. I have lit white candles for peace within myhome. I have tried to make the house a calm and peaceful place. I have suggested he take St John's Wort. I don't know what else to do. I pray constantly to my Goddess for strength and peace for my family. I don't know what else to do, however.

From an outsider's POV (in other words, easier said than done), try to take care of yourself so you don't get stressed out so much. That way you will be in better shape to help him when and if he is ready. ANd I don't know if you do any psychic cleansing and sheilding, but I have been doing that for myself each night to keep all of the negativeness from building up in me.

Hope this helps a bit.

[Cait]

~sighs~

Just bumping this to add the news that said friend has now decided I am EVIL and BAD and OUT TO GET HIM and must be cut off and he never wants to talk to me again. ~sigh, again~ paranoia, isn't it lovely? I'm sorta holding onto the idea that someday he IS going to be ok and maybe we can be friends again... but right now, I just want to cry for about a week. This is one of my closest friends, dammit, and I miss him. A lot. And there's really not a whole lot I can do.

And actually, I have no idea why I'm posting this here, except that maybe it helps just to tell someone.

Sorry for wasting space here, or whatever. And thanks for reading.

[Rick]

Cait, dear, you haven't wasted any space... this wonderful community exists so that we can help & support each other... sometimes we best accomplish that by doing something (lighting a candle, offering advice, sharing spellworks, etc), & sometimes we best accomplish that by simply listening & giving our heartfelt moral support... I'll light some candles for you & your friend, & positive thoughts & energy are on their way... in the meanwhile, check out the Practical Rune Magic threads that are 'stuck' at the top of this forum... #'s 1 & 2 in particular... also #... (Good Lord! I've forgotten which number! :ahhhh: Half-heimers! ;) )... um, 8, I think (anyway, it's called "Harmony")... none of these may 'cure' the situation, but they should help, & they will make you feel better (and you can take that to the bank, 'cuz the Runesinger sez so! :) )...

Aside to Chryssi... your hubby probably just wants/needs someone to listen to him... if you can do that, without seeming judgemental of what he's saying, I think you'll be surprised at the results...