altars and children

[bellamandu]

im stumped. i have a two year old whos going through that phase where she wants to grab EVERYTHING and even climbs on things EVERYWHERE.

my biggest problem is an alter. im at a breaking point really because i cant figure out a way to have this sacred part of my house, even in my old bedroom. between incense and candles and oils and everything in between, especially things that could be particularly harmful to her, im scared that if i make an altar that she might get ahold of it. and this isnt even thinking about the spiritual aspect of the idea of someone esle violating my altar.

how should i go about this, because i desperatly desire to have my altar back, but i dont know what to do!

[sarabethv]

Children can be taught that there are certain things they cannot touch.
Oils, incense etc. Should not be kept anywhere a child can touch, so keep those up and use when needed.

As for an altar space. I have two little girls (grand daughters) who are around all the time. I have never looked at it as if they were violating my space, but rather sharing it. They love to touch and look at the things on my altars and since I've explained to them since they were small (even younger than 2) that this was grandma's altar and special to me, they treat the things with respect. They both will rearrange the altar. They have even added things to my altar that they consider special - and I am fine with that. In fact I consider it a wonderful sharing/teaching/learning experience for all of us.

I think perhaps my attitude concerning an altar and yours might be different. If you feel that your child is capable of violating your altar, then you should probably not have one until your little one/s are much older when they can understand. However, most children want to look at mommy's stuff (jewelry boxes, drawers, etc) and it is a difficult task to keep it completely away from them, even when they are grown.

The older girl had a "magic" for a while and every time she would step outside the front door this thing she made had to go over the door knob on the outside, when we came back it was switched to the inside. It kept our house safe while we were gone. While it didn't look all that great, it didn't occur to me to NOT let her do this, and I really didn't care what the neighbors thought.

[BlackLili]

I don't have kids yet but I do have a couple of hyper-curious cats and a dog who follows me into every room. It's not as simple to teach them to leave my altar alone, so I just keep things out of reach or in a locked room. Within that room I also keep my oils and herbs that should be kept out of the light (most of them) inside a latched cabinet. (It used to be a bicycle cabinet my friends found dumpster-diving, so it need not be expensive or fancy.)

Lock away what can hurt them, and maybe think about having an altar your whole family can appreciate - fireplace mantels make fantastic group altars and can also end up being pretty inconspicuous, if you're concerned about that sort of thing.

Good luck!

[Ceres]

I think your altar should reflect your life and your life has changed dramatically now that you have a child. I am with BL that the things on your altar should be child friendly. There is nothing wrong with teaching your child to respect the altar and the things on it , in fact I think its a good thing to do, but the things on it SHOULD be things she can touch ( but not take away or be rough with) and definitely should be things that arent dangerous for her if she should do what is normal for small children and push the limit of whats allowed. Here are some basic ideas to help you incorporate child friendly altar items on your altar: http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/familyandparenting/tp/Kids_Activities-.htm

This page also has a lot of ideas for pagan crafts, many of which are kid friendly:
http://paganwiccan.about.com/cs/ss.htm

[Chaos Hawk]

I have kids and pets as well. I bought a small rolltop desk and made that my altar. That way I can have all my supplies and things and I can close the lid and lock it.

[moonchild]

my altar is in the room with 2 cat boxes, so it is gated. she is allowed in if i'm doing work in the studio part but knows that she can't touch anything i tell her not to. she's 2 1/2 and much more interested in the fabric scraps than my altar.

[bellamandu]

thanks everyone. i found a cool idea in another thread that might work perfectly. one of those entertainment center-type things with the doors that you can close, and lock if need be. i thinking about either something like that or maybe a rolltop desk. thanks for all the wonderful input!

[Tanya]

I worked with my daughter at that age to set up her own altar. She got a pretty bowl at a flea market and she picked flowers to put in it, a pink candle at the $1 store and a few metal figurines she had. We talked about what they ment and why we did this and i talked about it being 'her special place" when she wants to be a lone and think and maybe talk to the goddess.


That made it easier to understand "This is MY special spot"

there is sooo much talk about sharing, but I think its important for kids to know that they can own some things and NOT share them (and this goes to their bodies as well later!), and you have things like that too.

As far as the inscense and oils. I only put them out when I was doing a ritual and we lit them together so she could feel part of things.

[Willow Rosette]

When Toria was small I had her and three cats and no one ever bothered it. Like others said she would add things to it but the statues and breakables she never messed with. We always said our nightly prayers there as well and she would help me clean it so she learned very small that this was someplace different. I dont know why the cats never messed with it, I guess they somehow just new.

When she got to be about three I think we set up her own alter than she could put anything special (mine was getting over loaded with rocks) LMAO She would put the funniest things on there but when I asked why those where chosen she always had a Toria logic answer.

[bellamandu]

well see thats just the problem.. everyones saying "just make sure she knows she cant touch it" but thats just it... shes in that phase where she touches it BECAUSE i tell her not to touch it. oh yeah, and she likes to just... destroy things..

i suppose its that age... :lol:

[Willow Rosette]

well see thats just the problem.. everyones saying "just make sure she knows she cant touch it" but thats just it... shes in that phase where she touches it BECAUSE i tell her not to touch it. oh yeah, and she likes to just... destroy things..

i suppose its that age... :lol:

So tell her she can. Put things like little creek rocks and other unbreakables at the front and put the breakables in the back or on a shelf above.

They NEVER grow out of doing what they tell them not to. It has been my experience life is much easier to tell Toria what she can do vs. what she cant.

[Tanya]

my daughter's enamered with the rabbit figurines I put on at Oester. she's allowed to pick out one to visit her altar now.

[Willow Rosette]

my daughter's enamered with the rabbit figurines I put on at Oester. she's allowed to pick out one to visit her altar now.

LOL That is so cute. I absooutly love watching how Toria goes through fazes with what has to be on her alter. Some days it is all about rocks and the next day she thinks the Goddess will enjoy sharing some plastic animals or Dinosaurs. :lol:

[sarabethv]

Neither the cats or dogs have ever messed with anything on my altars. (hmmm) But the little ones do like to touch and share, and I have found some strange things on it, put there with a child's logic. :)

I really like the idea of a family altar where each member can put something/s on it that have meaning for them.

[Lunacie]

I think your altar should reflect your life and your life has changed dramatically now that you have a child. I am with BL that the things on your altar should be child friendly. There is nothing wrong with teaching your child to respect the altar and the things on it , in fact I think its a good thing to do, but the things on it SHOULD be things she can touch ( but not take away or be rough with) and definitely should be things that arent dangerous for her if she should do what is normal for small children and push the limit of whats allowed. Here are some basic ideas to help you incorporate child friendly altar items on your altar: http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/familyandparenting/tp/Kids_Activities-.htm

This page also has a lot of ideas for pagan crafts, many of which are kid friendly:
http://paganwiccan.about.com/cs/ss.htm

Oh, I like the idea from the first link to help the kids set up their own altars with things that have meaning for them. And then explain that you will leave their altar alone and they should please leave your altar alone... if you aren't willing to share a household altar with everyone.

An altar can be very simple, just a statue and a candle or a flower. And you can keep the other things in a box or drawer and take them out when needed.