Handfasting Sermons

[BlackLili]

Just got contracted to do another handfasting next month. Thing is, this will be the first one I've done for someone who I wasn't already friends with. My ex actually asked me if I would be available to assist with it, which makes it even stranger.

So, for those who've officiated weddings/handfastings/commitment ceremonies, what have you used for a "sermon" so to speak?

(Mostly, I'm just killing time til this girl gets ahold of me and lets me know how she wants her ceremony to go, but I'd like to have a few ideas to give her in case she's the indecisive type.)

[GEBS]

~Elise~ helped us with ours. She gave me lots of ideas. Maybe she can help.

[BlackLili]

Good thought, thanks Gebbsie!

[Lunacie]

(copy of ceremony included in post)


I just officiated at a ceremony on Friday evening, between a Pagan and a Christian. Most of the guests were Christian so the bride and I conspired together to make the ceremony meaningful to both bride and groom without offending any of the guests. I think we managed. :)


My daughter shared some information with me on handfasting that came from a New Age retail magazine of all places. It talked about how at least 1 in 5 people in the U.S. feel they are spiritual but don't have any religious affiliation - and how at least a few of that 6 billion people will be getting married this year.


They face a delimma, whether to hire a wedding planner who is more interested in the outward appearance of the ceremony than the spiritual aspect, or end up with a church ceremony at a church they have never attended and don't plan on attending in the future.


The article talked about how people didn't even have "church weddings" until the 15th century when the Catholic Church decided that marriage is a "sacrament" that only a priest could officiate at.


This ceremony was held in the park, inside a circle of stones that was erected and dedicated by a local Pagan group a few years ago, so the energy is already great there. And then I managed to "cast a circle thrice about" without anyone but the few Pagans even knowing. As I explained about the four directions and the four seasons and the four elements, I managed to turn around and gesture towards each of them three times. :spinnysmi


Then I talked about Spirit in the center of the circle in the form of love. The weather and the bride and groom were all beautiful, and I thought the ceremony turned out very nice as well. And I got to wear my best black "minister" robe. :woot: (Yes, I have my proper papers.)


When I tied the cord I tied a triple knot, and I wrapped it loosely enough that they could slip their hands out and yet leave it tied as a symbol to keep - on an altar or hanging on the wall.




Michelle and Victor
Wedding Ceremony


April 18, 2008 - Riverside Park, Wichita, KS



Welcome
Good afternoon and welcome to the ceremony to unite Victor and Michelle in marriage.

We gather here today to celebrate their love and their commitment to not just gazing at one another, but to looking outward from this moment together in the same direction. Today Victor and Michelle proclaim their love for each other to the world, and we rejoice with them and for them.

In marriage they give themselves freely and generously into the hands of the one they love, and in doing so, each receives the love and the trust of the other as a most precious gift.

Even as that gift is shared by two people in love, it also touches the friends and family members who in various ways offer support to their relationship. All of you are Michelle and Victor's community, and each of you has played some part in bringing them to this moment in time.

In the Center
We stand in the heart of the sacred circle of life.
The four directions are honored here,
North, East, South, and West,
offering you blessings wherever you go.
The four seasons are honored here,
Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall,
offering you blessings all year round.
The four elements are honored here,
Earth, Air, Fire, and Water,
blessing you with the ground we stand on,
the air we breathe,
the fire that burns brightly in the setting sun,
and the oceans that surround us.
The Center, the heart of the sacred circle,
honors Spirit in the form of love that flows
between you, within you, and all around you.

Michelle has asked me to share a traditional
Apache Wedding Poem.

Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be a shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will give warmth to the other.
Now there is no lonliness,
for each of you will be a companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
but there is one life before you.
May your days be good and long upon the earth!


The Vows
Victor and Michelle, you are here today to declare
and to strengthen your love, and to pledge to each other
the beginning of a new life together.

Victor, is it your wish to become one with Michelle?
(pause for answer)
Michelle, is it your wish to become one with Victor?
(pause for answer)

The Rings
We will now seal this promise of marriage with these wedding rings. As these circles are designed without a beginning or an ending, they speak of the unbroken unity of love, love that was nurtured in you as children and that you continue to give and to receive in your life together.

May the Divine Spirit bless these rings which you give to each other as the sign of your love, trust, and faithfulness.

Bless these rings, Divine Spirit.
Bless Victor and Michelle
who exchange these rings with each other.
Bless their union together
with patience, understanding, and joy.

(Victor says)
Michelle, I offer you this ring
as a sign of my love
and as a symbol of all that we share,
in token and pledge
of my constant faith
and enduring love.

(Michelle says)
Victor, I offer you this ring
as a sign of my love
and as a symbol of all that we share,
in token and pledge
of my constant faith
and enduring love.

The Handfasting
Have you heard the phrase "tying the knot"?

The concept of the "church wedding" was not common until the 15th century when the Council of Trent declared marriage to be a sacrament and therefore something only a priest could officiate. Before that time, many couples who wanted to marry would have a handfasting ceremony where a respected elder would tie a cord around their wrists as they made their vows standing and facing each other, symbolically binding them to those vows and to each other.

And their hands would remain tied, sometimes only for the duration of the ceremony, but often until the marriage had been consumated.

Michelle and Victor, join hands now, right to right.
(Drape cord over the joined hands)

May you remain true to this winding path you follow,
no matter which way it turns,
knowing that you have chosen to walk it together.
May you always remember where you started from,
together, in love.

(Tie the cord into a knot, leaving it loose enough to pull off later)
Thus are your hands fasted, and two are now made one,
as you have both willed, so shall it be done.
As Spirit and all these present are witness to this rite,
I now proclaim that you are "husband and wife"!
You may seal this blessing with a kiss now.
Congratulations and best wishes!

[Windsmith]

*headscratch*

Handfastings are supposed to have "sermons"? Yeah, we totally skipped that part. You could always go with that option.

[Lunacie]

*headscratch*

Handfastings are supposed to have "sermons"? Yeah, we totally skipped that part. You could always go with that option.

I almost came back with that response myself. ;)

I don't think events like weddings or funerals are appropriate times to try to sermonize or convert anyone. Maybe a short talk about the event or the people involved and how they feel spiritually about the event, but not a sermon per se.

[BlackLili]

What a lovely ceremony! Thank you for sharing it!

[BlackLili]

*headscratch*

Handfastings are supposed to have "sermons"? Yeah, we totally skipped that part. You could always go with that option.

LOLLER!!! Yeah, I don't tend to do them in the ceremonies I've officiated either - I go the quick n'dirty route normally.

I guess "sermon" was sort of a misnomer - I was mostly looking for different ppl's ceremonies to have some options to present to this chickie who should be getting ahold of me.

Since I haven't heard word 1 from her yet though, and my ex told me she'd contact me by (last) Saturday, I'm starting to doubt that she needs me. Or, she's incredibly disorganized and will contact me at the very. last. second. (I know which way I expect this to go! :lol: )

[~Elise~]

I've not done sermons in the ones I've officiated at...BUT they have had me do a Reading (poem or some such)...I hate 'em myself, because I don't like talking that much...the ceremony isn't about me, it's about them. I want the attention on them, not me.

I send my clients to two sites to help them decide what ceremony, extras and/or readings they want:

www.handfasting.info (http://www.handfasting.info)
www.kettlecreekweddings.com (http://www.kettlecreekweddings.com)

That usually takes care of everything, except sometimes I have to cut the ceremony down because they've added too much stuff.

Elise

[Rick]

I don't like talking that much...

:rollingla

*ahem* ...sorry... :fpraise:

[~Elise~]

:rollingla

*ahem* ...sorry... :fpraise:

no words necessary here... back to our regularly scheduled thread. Don't mind us, folks...

[BlackLili]

You two troublemakers! :hehehehe:

Don't worry about killing the thread - Chickiegirl whose supposedly "desperate" for a minister for her wedding in May still hasn't gotten ahold of me.

Methinks either she found someone else whose gib she liked the cut of better, or my ex was yanking my chain.

Gods, the choices we make when we're 16, huh? :crown:

[MockingbirdOxygen]

Great ceremony article... thanks for sharing... and sorry for the derailment, but thanks to Rick for unknowingly posting a sign... after what I'd just posted in the thread where he put this link, the 8 definitely must go back to August, ex-hubby, and the wedding, etc...
:rollingla

*ahem* ...sorry... :fpraise:

:giggle: Also, this reminds me of that time I rigged a fake karma button in my siggie, and told people I was tracking karma comments for the best crazy insult, and told them to let 'er rip. Only, the karma touch went to mol's number.
:halohead